>>954
the quiet part?
Record it,
sample rate dropped to 22050 to 11025 (aiming for over an old phone), EQ to fix any aliasing, and to bass-cut, Reverse, Chorus, Re-reverse, Post EQ.
either that or record it, and then send it through a land-line and a shitty phone, record the earpiece, and then do the rest of the processing. or transfer it to really shitty tape.