/newspaper/ - 8chan Newspaper Bunbunmaru

I-I hope opinion pieces are alright. I originally posted this on /b/ but I thought it would be well-suited to here. If it's off-topic, I apologise.

~~~

I've heard people say a few times that the Internet is dying, that chan culture is dying, shit like that. I used to think so too, but I'm here today to tell you that you're fucking wrong.

>b-but no one knows the history!
So what? Do you know the intricacies of the history of your country, back to its founding (Amerifats excepted), or even past like 1600? Fuck no. Expecting every anon to know the maymays in common usage in 2005 is the equivalent of that. The important thing is the legacy of that time, and there's a huge legacy. Hell, the reason furries are hated above all other cunts with a persecution complex and a weird fetish is because it was trendy to hate them on FYAD over a decade ago. Like, that's it. There are other self-righteous faggots who are into weird shit but furries specifically catch so much shit because when FYAD first flooded into 4chan they had just been discovered and were the fashionable target – and furfags remain a common target for rusing even today.

>the normalfags are invading!
Yeah, okay, so what? Normalfags ruin everything, sure, but there's always going to be somewhere to run. Imageboards specifically are pretty fucking impenetrable to the average person, unless they're already inducted – look at the usability reports for 8chan, they don't fucking get it. Same goes for IRC, it's completely alien to them. Le Reddit xD and Tumblr are a different issue entirely, by the way, I'll get to them. The real cancer is taking the Internet as super fucking serious business (which I guess makes this cancer, but fuck you) and not just laughing everything off. It's not real life, don't get so angry, like close the window nigga walk away from the screen ahahaha.

>the Golden Age is ended!
When the fuck even was the Golden Age? Depending on who you ask the Golden Age ended before I was fucking born, and I started using 4chan in 2006. Do you know about Usenet and the Eternal September? 1993, nigger. 1993. I bet the users of old-school BBSes were bitching about the end of an era when Internet access got big. But aside from that I usually hear one of two dates for the Golden Age: 2005 and 2008. Well, here's the cold, hard truth: those times are gone. They ended. But they didn't exist in a vacuum. They've left their mark on the Internet just like Usenet did.

>rival sites have one-upped us!
This is like America worrying about the Soviets or the Chinese. Tumblr and Leddit will never
E V E R
V
E
R
be imageboards or be on the same level as them. Like, name a single cultural export of Reddit. Name one. I've asked several people, apparently "in this moment I am euphoric" comes from /r/atheism and that's all I got. Tumblr's shit has better legs, but it's just that, shit, and goes straight into the same trash can that rage comics and advice animals languish in. Remember doge? It was funny for about 0.2 seconds and then it was cancerous shit, right? That's Tumblr's greatest success. Pathetic. People worried about cultural dilution are just as ridiculous. Look at shitlord. Tumblr and their insults that aren't actually offensive, kek. But what happened to shitlord, and check your privilege, and all that? They're jokes. Tumblrinas can't use them anymore, they ONLY work as jokes. That's what we do, we take in outside influences and bend them to our own purposes. That's how it'll always be.

People bemoaning the death of the Internet, or the end of *chans' cultural relevance, are like people who have a huge fucking hard-on for Rome. Guess what, faggots? Rome fell. Rome fell, but it held on for a fuck of a long time and left a huge legacy. Half of Europe speaks debased Latin, Roman authors and politics are still studied, their architecture is imitated. Look at Washington DC to see how fucking Romaboo the founding fathers were. Rome is dead, but its legacy will never die. The same goes for imageboards. Let's say that the Exodus was our Fall of the Western Empire. That makes us the Byzantines, and we've got another twelve years to dick around. You think that's enough?

tl;dr Imageboards are Rome, stop worrying that we're becoming irrelevant because it's not fucking happening
Pic tangentially related, an old pic of Cracky and Nevada-tan I found in my pictures. That was 2004, we still remember them.