Day #2 THE STRUGGLE IS REAL

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Day #2 THE STRUGGLE IS REAL Anonymous 02/07/16 (Sun) 14:09:39 No.1328

I was suppose to buy a notebook today to put this down, but the shops are closed cuz it's Chinese New Year and I'm in FUCKING Asia.

So instead I'll just make a POST about it. Hope you guys don't mind too much. This is just more of blogging and vain hope that this helps me right now. Can't be bothered to check the catalog if there are any threads thats suppose to be for this so I apologize.

I admit it! I'm an addict! Like BAD. I can do SEVEN a day, sometimes two-three consecutively. I can tell my mind is literally FUCKED. My dreams aren't helping any as I can tell that when I sleep, my mind is flood in dopamine and what other chemicals that's suppose to be there. I now have a hard time getting up when I used to be able to in a jiffy.

I can hardly sit still and concentrate and I have hell of a time to just sit and do my work and passion, let alone actually listen to a discussion. I start getting sleepy too, though I feel refreshed after a nap, but they happen at the worst times. Just today I was nodding off at church. Heck, I fell asleep as I was praying to NOT fall asleep.

I also should NOT have played a Visual Novel. Doubly so, I shouldn't have checked if said novel had an uncensored version. Hell, the first girl that's introduced in the VN and I just wanted to rip her clothes off. That should already have been warning signs and red flags for me to stop, but noooo, I had to check the other characters and meet big-boobed heroine, and dark-haired mysterious beauty.

God help me, I need a miracle…

Anonymous 02/07/16 (Sun) 14:26:05 No.1329

Reason why I'm just on day 2:

It was a Friday 2 days ago and was another day wasted. I literally had no motivation to do anything other than eat, fap, and read up light novels.

It wasn't till night time that I could tell I was fucked. I just kept thinking thoughts like "I don't feel like it" "I don't care" and what not and then just heard a tiny shrieking voice inside my head that past this was the point of no return.

If I went any further, that's it. Keplut. I could kiss my sorry ass good bye.

Cuz the tiny voice wasn't just one part of me. It was my reason, my fear, my willpower, and my passion all screaming 'wake up' and I could barley hear it.

Hell, when I noticed it, I wasn't even panicking. I was seriously considering to just shrug it off and keep fapping.

I don't even know WHY I decided not to, or how I even managed to get out of bed and seriously convinced myself to stop and go to church today.

It's really difficult to just sit here infront of my laptop, pick up my Wacom styus and just keep doing art. After every few seconds, I can't help but try and look around the internet and what not. Fuck me, this is hard.

I'm also holding off on listening to music as I'm afraid that's also releasing dopamine inside my head.

Anonymous 02/08/16 (Mon) 15:44:03 No.1332

Stay strong, brother

Anonymous 03/12/16 (Sat) 10:27:32 No.1369

>>1328

Have you considered deleting the VN?