1. Snow tires >> 4/AWD. I can't tell you how many times my coworkers have gotten stuck in their SUV or pickup trucks to the tune of "why isn't the 4WD/AWD working!?!?!"
2. >land of potholes, bad roads, and random weather (Ohio for reference)
Sweetheart, you don't have bad weather. If you lived in Buffalo or Alaska, I would entertain your discussion as being relevant and thoughtful. I live in the Rockies, and the snow that you get is pretty pathetic compared to what we get here. Bad roads and random weather don't validate the purchase of a car that drive many wheels.
3. If you're still interested in purchasing a heavier vehicle, GET ONE THAT ACTUALLY DRIVES ALL OF THE TIRES. The vast majority of 4/AWD systems have an open transfer case and open diffs at the axles. That means without the ABS/TSC on (which can decide that the condition does not warrant the application of the brakes because you are going 0 mph), you will sit there and only spin one wheel. Systems with a limited ship transfer case will send power to both axles, but may only drive one wheel per axle. Systems with a limited slip transfer case and limited slip diffs will drive all wheels all the time. These are what you want. However, you can drive as many wheels as you want, but if the tires don't have traction, you're hosed.
TL;DR:
-Get crappy wheels (i.e. steel) and extremely good snow tires for the winter regardless of what car you have.
-You don't need 4/AWD to get though bad weather. My Accord with snows on it has conquered snows that leave the best AWD/4WD vehicles stuck and causing problems.
-Look for 4/AWD systems with limited slip transfer cases and diffs (if available).
-I cannot say this enough 4WD AND AWD DO NOT HELP YOU STOP THEY ACTUALLY HINDER YOUR STOPPING DISTANCE DUE TO THE ADDED WEIGHT OF THE VEHICLE.