>>4128
It actually does make me feel really good to talk about I feel about her but I get embarased too and know it can be creepy.
A bunch of boring shit about me, skip if you don't want to read:
I am diagnosed autistic too since I was a small child, back in the late 80s before it was chic, so I latch on those things and people really strongly.
I was always obsessed with fighter jets and bombers when I was 5, like their shape and appearance more so than facts (though I still liked reading about them), then it was certain animals and dinosaurs.
When I was 10 I went through a phase where I was actually obsessed with Sigourney Weaver, I didn't find her that attractive but I watched Alien and just became..extremely obsessive where I would go and try to find any movie with her. There was no reason or logic behind the obsession.
Needless to say I outgrew that one long, long ago before I hit puberty but it can be difficult for me because yes I'm pedo (more hebe really) but my extreme obsession tends to turn people off and I'll want to talk and share but it even annoys other pedos.
I know its lame to throw the autism card out now and make me troll bait but its something I suffer from just as much as being a MAP. Those conditions combine and create a perfect storm of a mess of a human being.
I get really frustrated when people act like all true autists are capable of great, amazing things. Yeah, some are but just as many of us spend our entire lives collecting hub caps that are a certain color or collecting Transformers from a specific era or vintage.
I feel intense attraction to this girl but sadly she is also like one of my "dinosaur" or "airplane" collections.
Her teenager attitude doesn't bother me a whole lot, it makes her seem more like a spoiled princess to me. I'm really into that kind of fantasy.
Not like I would want to actually hang out with her in real life but the attitude and looks feed into many, many fantasies, not all necessarily sexual.
Sorry for the text dump, you were just so friendly and I'm always eager for a chance to open up on the possibility maybe a person will listen to me.
To the rest reading this, yes I know: tl;dr I'm a sperglord 4eva alone.