/phile/ - For those who think young.

>>4142

Okay, first off, if he burned you over that, he's a bastard and was never really your friend. I understand the appeal of keeping it a secret and keeping your fake friends, but you don't need fake friends. You need real ones.

I was outed against my will, and I pretty much lost all my fake friends. That left me with two. One of them knows, the other doesn't, but I plan to tell him soon, and I know he'll be cool. Those two are true friends. I have some other friends now, too, but I don't know for sure if they would be cool with it, so I don't know for sure if they're true friends. I also have other fake friends who know, don't hold it against me, but are fake friends simply because they're not very good friends.

I don't know if you're a paedophile specifically. It might help me that I'm just hebe and ephebo for the most part, and the girl whom I loved, still love, and whom loved me and I hope still does, was clearly in hebe territory and not paedo. Her bitch mom outed me using misinformation, and the bastard phonies spread said misinformation. None of them know the truth I reckon.

So you're better off than I am. Go make some new friends. You might need to learn to read people better, also. And get out of your goddamn house. I can tell you spend too much time inside of it.

>>4147

not sharing an odd sexual fetish =/= a fake friend

the unfortunate truth is that this isn't something that many people take well to. You can't expect every person to just be okay with you wanting to be with underage kids. It's just socially unacceptable. It blows, but it's true as fuck.

>>4147

>he's a bastard and was never really your friend

Well you have to put your self in yourself in that friends shoes, While pedophilia simply means an attraction to a child, for everyone else its the story of a creepy old guy deciving children and presuring them into sex. Thats the only thing they can see the word to mean, and the belief in that story comes before everything else for a lot of people. Its a belief thats become intertwined these almost primal emotions. Im sure none of us are strangers to comment sections in videos, pictures or news stories dealing with pedophilia outside of chans and you can see that the thought pedophilia for alot of people is so much than just a distant child suffering they could care less about the child

Feeling those blind emotions and visualizing characture of the creepy pedophile out defiling a child and that creep without a doubt being your friend has to be hard on person. Especially if you just tell them out right.

When it comes to friends and keeping them I think it has alot more to do with how you tell them and how you well you can ease them into understanding what pedophilia and child relationships are.

Your friends stayed but even then they still might not be friends… to them you could be no different than a crazy person and they're doing a good deed to the world by keeping you in check.

>And get out of your goddamn house.

Things people that haven't put too much thought into how friends work say.

>>4142

You two have never talked about pedophilia or anything like it before ?

also, on an unrelated note

>Catholic, though he was never a bible thumper

I take it you aren't any sort of christian lol

>>4151

I was raised one and at times I like to stay in the possible good grace of God but I've accepted that's impossible if he's anything like the Christian one.

I like to believe in something because it depresses me even more to think there's nothing but there's a good chance it probably is that way.

>>4152

In the past I have tried turning to the supernatural but nowadays I just accept I have an overactive imagination, played too many roleplaying games where I was a sorcerer and magic isn't real.

>>4142

Sounds like a lot more believable outcome than that fanfic posted on /younglove/. If he's your friend you can probably mend it, could've been the shock of the confession. Talk to him and you might get over it over the weekend.

>>4165

What fanfic? I've never posted on younglove.

Or are you referring to someone else?

I suspect if it ever does mend he's probably going to say something like "Well, maybe one day when you get cured and fixed we can talk again, but this is just too much sorry."

I don't know what will happen, we were sorta working on a collaboration together with a commissioned artist (long story) and there was a contract with my name on it in case the project ever got a publisher. Not saying it will but that was a really big thing for both of us and now I don't know what he's going to do since a lot of the characters/ideas are my creations.

I think he will realize this and contact me by email or just change the names of the characters and edit small details. The latter is something sleazy I can't see him doing but you never know.

When people find out about stuff like this it doesn't matter if you've acted or not, just fantasizing, you're suddenly worse than a murderer.

Either way what I did was incredibly stupid and I should probably stop taking my meds. I haven't been taking them for 5 months but for some reason started again about 2-3 days ago and I've become WAY more manic and self sabotaging, if that's the word. Like I said before, I just can't control it when it comes.

>>4166

nm guess he's gone full asshole! We have a bunch of google open docs where we discuss ideas with our artist guy and list brainstorms. And no the guy isn't just some random dweeb from DA, he does comics and is pretty damn good, it was hard to get someone like him with reasonable prices.

Well, he's gone full on asshole and trashed a ton of the docs and on the big "main" one he's removed everything I submitted.

I guess he's going to abandon both of the ideas we were working on, despite already putting down a good amount of money and time into them. Probably going with something else now.

Fuck him. I can understand being shocked over this but if I went to prison for killing someone I'm 95% certain after I got out he would welcome me back with open arms.

Fuck him fuck him fuck him. Be that way asshole, so easily wipe someone out of your life that's been a big part of it because of this.

Again, it was beyond stupid for me to do what I did but the length he is now going to to "sanitize" himself of me is just sickening.

I'm beyond hurt. I'm just angry now.

I'm emailing the bastard, I'm going to try to explain things better, I don't expect him to take me back but I don't want him to think I'm that dude on the bus that wants to diddle kids.

>>4166

>>4166

There was this thread on /younglove/ with a real cheesy story about a guy coming out to his friend and he was accepted, everything worked out magically, and he now stalks lolis at parks with his no-homo buddy. It was so hamfisted that people were calling him an LEA trying to trick pedos out of closets. He got really butthurt about people questioning his story and attacked everyone in the thread with reddit memes. The thread ended in shitposting, you couldn't tell who was posting what.

Stop taking your meds, play some games, do whatever and relax. Keep any questionable material on your devices secure, and just wait it out. Even normal friend drama can take weeks to settle. Be patient, it's only been a day or two, you don't know how this is going to turn out yet. And at the very least, he kept it to himself and didn't snitch, that's got to mean something.

>>4168

Haha, oh god. That's just awful.

Yeah, the meds are impeding my ability to have a good orgasm. Man..three days ago they were so good.

The last time I went off my meds it took me about 5 days until the "geysers" were coming back. Now its just a trickle if anything.

I don't care if a miracle medicine existed that was suppose to make me happy, fuck it if it ruins my orgasms.

I've been on different meds on and off since I was a teen, all those SSRIs do the same damn thing or they make you act whacky for a little bit then normalize and you just fell dull. No orgasms or they really suck.

I complained to multiple doctors about this but they always ignore me and shrug.

"Well, don't you want to feel better? You might have to deal with some side effects."

Its not erection related either, I either can't feel my orgasm on the medicine or its weak.

With stopping the meds:

The problem is that my mom and sister have been watching me closely for the past few days, forcing me to swallow so I'm going to have to go back to tonguing it, which is kind of hard.

Once they think I'm being good again they will loosen the security.

I don't really have anything potentially questionable but I know in this day and time any picture of a girl is so rest assured I have. Encrypted and backed up on multiple devices.

>>4149

A true friend will accept you. Someone who disowns you over something out of your control is not a real friend.

>>4150

>Things people that haven't put too much thought into how friends work say.

The hell you talking about? Also, the rest of your post is trying to justify anti bullshit. Antis are evil. Straight-up. You don't make excuses for evil.

>>4173

It doesn't help that people are so heavily conditioned thanks to the media. I almost typed an email to my friend explaining some things, that I didn't go deepweb and dl childporn and that I didn't want to rape or hurt girls but I decided, no.

I'm just going to give it a few weeks. He wants to disown me and throw 15+ years down the toilet and erase me from his life. Fine. His loss.

>>4173

>Antis are evil

I know its hard to think they aren't but they really are just misguided. Antis aren't like an opposing country at war where we had different ideologies that are well thought out but more like witch trials where histeria is fuelling their every move. The point I was trying to make with them is that, if we weren't pedophiles what makes you think we wouldnt be like them? Not saying that to understand a group you have to be them or anyshit like that… but honestly, would the idea that a relationship with a child isn't abusive or a man persuing one isn't demented, ever cross our minds if we weren't ever even a bit outcasted.

>>4142

I've been in quite a similar situation, though I never really "came out", my friend just noticed my particular preference for dating/pursuing younger girls and he just asked me one day in a tongue-in-cheek manner about why I like them really young, and I admitted in the same way, as I guess there's no reason to hide stuff now. but he was really cool with it, no moralfaggotry or angsty sjw whiteknighting as most people would. he said he's just wondering why I would prefer younger girls and well, we continued being normal friends as such and not being on of those "you need help" bullshitters who want to look good in front of others. he was a true friend, as most of my male friends are.

>>4182

I'm guessing my friend really reacted the way he did was because of strong religious upbringing and a very functional, clean family.

He's never pushed religion at all but he's always leaned toward "do the right thing" and "be strong" so to him being a pedo is the most evil thing ever because its like preying on weak innocent children (to him) and kids are young and weak. Only emotionally stunted man children don't feel turned on by adults.

Is what I'm guessing he thinks.

It doesn't help that there was a guy we knew and hated a lot who married a close friend of our's and he became a sex offender when he got caught trying to solicited sex to a 13 year old. Dude was a mega tool, full of himself and ugly as hell to boot, his wife was the only girl he ever had sex with yet he'd brag about doing stuff with her when we would play WoW together.

For years we made endless jokes about him, I did not because he was a pedo but because I hated him and he was a dick to me before then.

I imagine now he sees me as one and the same as that guy.

…despite the fact I've never hurt any minor, tried to hurt them, tried to force myself on one or even contacted one.

Its the stigma we all face. You know those people on the deepweb that post torture porn of their kids and abuse them? We're all the same.

>>4184

I guess some people are just more understanding about this. But I think it also helps that my friends have witnessed my relationships enough to see the difference between me and the stereotypical image of a "child molester/pedo" (although I'm more of a hebephile myself, so that may be considered more "normal", I guess?) But I digress, the point here is that people's judgements are very much affected by their preconception, but first impressions would remove these preconceptions, in this case, my friends seeing that I am having a healthy relationship with my partner ,without regarding the stigma that the disparity age and/or physical maturity usually carries. But keep in mind that not everyone's the same and people who are as open-minded as my friends are certainly not the majority. Something that's interesting though is that most, if not all, of my female friends seem to be the same way as most people would. But man, you've really gotten it bad, especially with the bit about hating the sex offender guy. I know it's not hypocritical, but most people would outright think that it is very much so, including your former? friend… I suggest that you move on, as you probably have become the kind of person he hates the most, and try to become more subtle about your sexuality or not really talk much about it at all with your future friends, but not necessarily keeping it hidden deep inside, let them notice it by themselves, If they do, it's more likely that they will understand. I know it's hard but try not to think too much about it.

>>4193

I am 29 and he is several years younger than me, 27 I think.

I pretty much told him my age range, that I didn't look at child pornography or download and I just talked a lot about how its made me feel and feelings of depression, fear and other stuff I've had to juggle. I told him a lot.

Again, he said this basically:

"I can understand now why you've been so miserable for all these years, especially lately. I am sorry for what you go through.

With that said I cannot and will not support this and we cannot talk anymore. I wish you only the best in your life for you and your family.

You are in my prayers, but please, get help."

Not word for word what he said but that's the tune of it. There was no explosion, guilt tripping or calling me a monster.

Basically "Yeah, bye. We've been through so much but I got my limits, done with you for good and sanitizing you from my history now. Cya!"

And he is literally doing that which I explained with my above post.

You are right, I AM at fault too but I guess I'm disappointed in my friend too. It seems very unfair to me, how this is the one thing that kills such a supposedly strong friendship yet if I had actually killed a man, sold heroin to addict for profit or many other illegal, wrong things he would have been far more accepting most likely.

I'd come back from prison and he'd say "Welcome back, bro".

Its over now and I just feel really strange. Like maybe he wasn't that great of a friend after all.

Its made me feel closer to the community, even if I don't see eye to eye with them 24/7.

For such a form-letter answer I'd think he probably has his own secret life to hide (probably weed) and that he doesn't want something like this drawing attention to it. Arrests are like Lay's, the cops can't get just one. And if you live in the redneck ghetto everyone is growing and cooking their own shit