HI I'M ADOLF HITLER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE NAZI PARTY. THE HISTORY BOOKS ARE WRONG, THE CONCENTRATION CAMPS DID NOT KILL THE JEWS. I PERSONALLY KILLED EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THE SIX MILLION WITH MY GARGANTUAN GERMAN GLOCKENSPEIL. MY MASSIVE FRANKFURTER FROM THE FATHERLAND SMASHED EACH AND EVERY HEEB WITH MORE ZEST AND ZEAL THEN ZYKLON-B EVER COULD FATHOM. FOUR AND ONE HALF MILLION PERISHED UNDER MY IMPRENGABLE BUNKER. THE OTHER ONE POINT FIVE MILLION I DROWNED IN A COLLOSAL RAIN OF MY FUHRERFUNK, EACH JEW CHOKING WITH DELIGHT ON MY DELICIOUS DONGDROPPINGS. THEIR GASPING, CHOKING VOICES SOUNDED LIKE A GREEK CHORUS UNTIL THE FINAL BREATHS OF THE LAST. I GUARANTEE IT.