No.16174
Look at the loser with the old logo
No.16175
File: 1458403412670.png (217.8 KB, 1129x1087, 1129:1087, glados___lament_by_wolf_sh….png)
>Talking over a wireless comm
Orange, status report.
>...
I don't care that you built a pillow fort with Blue in the lobby, I want a status report.
>...
On the facility not the fort
No.16176
>>16175
>sitting nearby
>sharing a sandwich with the crows on her hat
Do you have kids?
No.16177
File: 1458404198529.png (390.42 KB, 1024x1194, 512:597, oh_my_god_by_wolf_shadow77….png)
>>16176
I do hope that bread is multigrain. My little killers are on a strict diet even if someone keeps trying to break it, Thunder Thighs.
>CAW
Only bilogical beings can reproduce. The closest equivalent to that in my case would be my birds.
>...
AndtheCooperativeTestingInitiative-but I digress.
No.16178
>>16177
So who are you building a pillow fort with in that case?
>CAW
Shh! It's multigrain, remember?
No.16179
File: 1458405291717.jpg (323.7 KB, 550x776, 275:388, 6b12f3d526894da4e6defa370d….jpg)
>>16178
>Her optics narrow
I'm onto you...
...the Cooperative Testing Initiative did. Two robots I built, Blue and Orange. They were made to simulate human behaviour, but I may have done too good a job.
No.16180
>>16179
>CA-
>holds the offending beak shut
Is that a bad thing?
>passes up a slice of salami
I thought getting robots to be human was always the big goal.
No.16181
File: 1458406581514.jpg (42.74 KB, 564x1162, 282:581, 0a461150c1b1557d3e7fec64db….jpg)
>>16180
For humans. But Blue and Orange exhibit human behaviour but lack the capability to die. There's no science to be gained from that.
>...
But...despite that...they still make reliable assistants.
No.16182
>>16181
I think I'm learning something like that at the same time, actually. Have you met my new assistant?
No.16183
>>16182
>Don't look soft, GLaDOS
Is that so? And whom did you hire as an assistant?
No.16184
File: 1458408184510.png (91.33 KB, 525x211, 525:211, 43459906a9382450364a87a7e7….png)
>>16183
First you have to promise you won't scream or run.
No.16185
>Walks by, throwing white bread crumbs at the birds, ever so flippantly.
No.16186
File: 1458408908197.jpg (676.63 KB, 1344x1163, 1344:1163, 438c311dcafe263a02c0dcfc09….jpg)
>>16184
I do not scream, and rarely run. Tell me.
>>16185
>Glowers
You're spoiling them, you know.
No.16187
>who's next for physical
>peeks at her clipboard
No.16188
File: 1458409279652.jpg (14.85 KB, 236x377, 236:377, 5f4a1b2997d625a60162ff11ab….jpg)
>>16187
>watching from the doorway
>Dear God, why now?
No.16189
>>16185
I hope you'll pick them up after you're done.
>the crumbs are balled up bits of tissue when they hit the ground
>>16186
She's a little... deformed.
>>16187
Glad to see you early and ready.
>>16188
I see you there.
No.16190
>>16188
>??
Would you like to have your appointment now
>>16189
I always am
>doodles a sun with a smiley face
No.16191
>>16189
uuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.
>>16190
...yeah. Let's do this.
No.16193
>>16190
Be gentle with Heather, okay? I'll try not to interfere but I'm gonna be right here.
>>16191
This is what happens when you put it off for too long.
>>16192
Speaking of off for too long...
No.16194
>>16192
Jesus, Mako, you gotta read the dates on those things.
>>16193
uuuuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhhh.
No.16195
>>16191
>mouthless beaming
Please remove clothing and step onto scale
>>16192
That is very unhealthy you know
>>16193
I'm not going to hurt anybody
>snaps a pair of gloves on
>come on Bubble, you can do this
No.16196
>>16194
And I'll take this chance to remind you that you were the ones who wanted to take her home.
>>16195
That goes without saying...
>taking notes on Bubble
No.16197
File: 1458411220639.png (987.32 KB, 1280x1479, 1280:1479, tumblr_ni8r218yCo1smpjgxo1….png)
>>16195
>clothing: removed
>scale: stepped on
So far so good.
>>16196
I was the last person to be convinced!
No.16198
>>16196
>oh god so much pressure
>can't mess this one up
>>16197
>quickly etches down Heather's height and weight
Perfect for your age :)
>pats the examination table promptly and picks up a rubber reflex mallet
No.16199
File: 1458411862332.jpg (218.48 KB, 1557x1669, 1557:1669, Don't worry this won't hur….jpg)
>>16193
>>16194
"Best by 2003''?
>>16195
You don't say.
No.16200
File: 1458412007254.png (233.51 KB, 614x355, 614:355, 61a93218e679227fa21c4564c1….png)
>>16197
Sounds like someone didn't argue hard enough...
>>16198
>if you look careful she's just doodling on a notepad
>>16199
That's very gross milk. Like wow.
No.16201
>>16198
>She's gonna bash my head in with that mallet I know it!
>gets onto the table
>braces for impact
>>16199
We've gotta clean out that fridge.
>>16200
Are just trying to punish me right now for making you wait?
No.16202
File: 1458412276205.jpg (905.64 KB, 1164x1280, 291:320, tumblr_lvv3q4SYy51r4ym0no1….jpg)
>>16199
I do say
>:(
You don't want to get your stomach pumped do you
>>16200
>she must be doodling pictures of firing me
>[sweat]
>>16201
>raises the mallet high over her head like a lead pipe
>brings it down sharply and stops just a few inches above her knee
>leans down and gives it a tiny tap
>kick
This is good too
>lifts Heather's arm to inspect her elbow inseam
No.16203
>>16200
Yeah...
>>16201
>Peers into the fridge
>Sees a moldy ol' sandwich covered in mushrooms
>Reaches her hand towards it
>The sandwich starts growling at her
>Hastily pulls her hand out and slams the door shut
Y-yeah...
>>16202
>Shivers at the thought
>Shakes her head rapidly
No.16204
>>16202
>[TRUE TERROR]
>Just you wait
>The mallet was just to get my guard down, now she's going to rip my arm off or something
>>16203
...let's me rephrase this. We've gotta clean out that fridge...with fire.
No.16205
>>16203
Good
>...
Oh, you need a physical too, don't you
>>16204
Reflexes are all good
You're very in shape for a girl your size
Just one more thing to check
>gives her udders a thorough squeezing
>indecisive noise
>places her ear above Heather's heart
>...
Okay, all done
No.16206
File: 1458413428259.png (307.53 KB, 599x717, 599:717, tumblr_ns5bchlMvd1qkn29to1….png)
>>16205
>MUH UDDERS
>pulls back
...so...we're done now? That's it?
No.16207
>>16206
Not unless you're sexually active
>offers Heffer a lollipop
>mmm synthetic cherry
You were a good patient
No.16208
>>16204
But where are we going to get a flamethrower?
>>16205
Eh?
>Thinks back to the last time she had a checkup
>Draws up a blank
Yeah, I suppose so....
No.16209
File: 1458414227463.png (239.49 KB, 500x495, 100:99, tumblr_ni1hlssX5Z1smpjgxo1….png)
>>16207
>Synthetic cherry? You drive a hard bargain
>Cautiously takes the lollipop
No, no sexual activity here...heh...
>gets up, gets whatever clothes she left around back on herself
Thanks. You were a good nurse.
>I'm not sure how squeezing my udders was important, but whatever.
No.16210
>>16208
There are ways. We'll figure it out.
No.16211
File: 1458414609092.png (284.34 KB, 733x838, 733:838, 1e99717d718e82b6eb9bc1d926….png)
>>16208
>gleeful look
I'll pencil you in for tomorrow
Make sure you're ready
>>16209
>gotta check for lumps
>breast cancer is srs bsnss
Remember to use protection if you do
Though Mr. McCormick took enough condoms that I maybe don't need to worry about that
>makes a heart with her hands
Now I just need to get to the paperwork
>looks tonthe growing mountain of forms
>sigh
No.16212
File: 1458414897103.png (292.45 KB, 431x704, 431:704, tumblr_nitmlgMqxD1sexp5ro1….png)
>>16211
>Don't worry, I'm gonna take all the precautions
>Anal only until marriage.
Ahhh, gross!
...both to the Kenny taking all those condoms thing, and to your paperwork thing.
No.16213
>>16212
>I'm sure he'll be thrilled to hear that
Silly, it's natural
...the first thing, not the paperwork
That is manmade
>starts scratching in the boxes
No.16214
File: 1458415765345.jpg (14.85 KB, 236x377, 236:377, 5f4a1b2997d625a60162ff11ab….jpg)
>>16213
Well, good luck with your papers. I'll see you later.
>Heather leaves the office
>Still weirded out at the idea of sexy times.
No.16215
File: 1458445635773.png (67.51 KB, 1155x764, 1155:764, tumblr_nz82ipzkln1uf4wouo1….png)
No.16217
>>16215
>?
The view isn't that good, is it?
No.16218
No.16219
>>16216
>Only a true monster would take advantage of a sleeping girl
>But just watching is fine.
>>16217
Say Say Miss nurse,
is it time for my check up as well?
>starts to removes his pants.
No.16220
>>16219
>here comes the swift kick to the nuts
What kind of physical are you thinking of?!
No.16221
>>16219
>Pop!
>And up she goes
...
>!
>Quickly distances herself from Kuma
No.16222
>>16220
>down for the count
>barely twitching with life
>words come out in stumbled squeaks
A-ara ara, I thought this was a full routine check.
You would criticize my quest for perfect health?
I-I just can't win.
>holds his groin and looks sympathetic
Although now I may need to see you afterall,do you have ice?
>>16221
>Gets smacked in the chin as she wakes up
>KO
>gg
>no re
>waves a white flag
No.16223
File: 1458449737065.jpg (180.22 KB, 640x489, 640:489, 913908 - Madotsuki Yume_Ni….jpg)
>>16217
>jarred from her sleep
...yeah, the view. Good.
No.16224
>>16223
Are you kidding?
Ever since they got new hosts The View has been awful.
No.16225
>>16222
>Gives a small sigh of relief
What a creep...
No.16226
>>16224
...well, I guess it has been making me drowsy as of late.
Do you need an ice pack...?
No.16227
>>16222
Sometimes heroes need to make sacrifices for the good of others.
>tips her cooler over him
>rubber snakes and confetti falls out
>?
>looks inside
>hits it a couple of times and tips it again
>a huge chunk of ice falls out
>>16223
Sleeping against the window's not really a good idea if you want good posture.
No.16228
File: 1458450520361.png (467.95 KB, 1019x973, 1019:973, 08db9a8c824598e01c5614cab1….png)
>>16227
Ah, what do I need good posture for...
>rubs the pink mark on her forehead
Might wanna...not kick so hard. Maybe.
No.16229
>>16225
My body is broken but my ears work just fine you know.
Is that how you thank someone from protecting your body from kidnappers as you sleep?
Someone who's not me would easily take your snoring bubble face as an invitation.
>>16226
Women have that effect on people~
>huehue
I think the nurse is bringing me one.
Although she's the reason for my pain.
I thought amateur needle handling was the worse of their abilities.
I was wrong.
>>16227
Making me out to be the Villain?
How unfair, I may stab people but at least I don't steal their blood when I do.
>looks at the ice fall
I had no idea you did party tricks
>sits down on the ice block
Aahh~
No.16230
File: 1458450740915.png (140.51 KB, 500x743, 500:743, tumblr_nbe8h9fBLB1ru66eqo1….png)
>>16229
Like I'm going to believe that, coming from the guy who tried to grope me at the hot springs!
No.16231
>>16228
As the one who fixes you guys up, you can trust me to know exactly where and how hard I can kick to cause minimum damage.
>>16229
That's not even the start of it.
>
No.16232
>>16230
Grope you? Those are some heavy accusations for wanting to share skinship.
Is hugging, molesting?
Is a handshake,a kiss?
I think not.
Just what kind of thoughts are running through that head of yours?
No.16233
>>16229
You're getting better at pillow talk...
I still say their needle handling is pretty bad. Some nurses couldn't put a sewing prick through a garden hose.
>>16231
...
>shrinks back
Touche, doc.
No.16234
>>16231
>smiles down at his blossoming new attachment
Wow~ Did you just grow that from the soil of my heart or are you gifted in making others more snazzy? Either way I'm impressed.
>sniffs it
It doesn't squirt water does it?
>>16233
>chuckles
You think so?
Yes, and I find that their patience could be better, just because you miss your mark, doesn't mean you get to swirl my insides around with a prick until you get it on the first go.
No.16235
File: 1458452053868.png (81.35 KB, 321x259, 321:259, e2462324a8fe6b17189bdb1799….png)
>>16233
If you think you can criticise my lovely assistant behind her back, you're going to get a lot worse than a bit of clumsy needle work.
>>16234
>the flower hops out of his pocket and walks away
Not quite.
>picks up the walking flower with both hands
>shakes it around like she's about to throw dice
>throws out a frog
No.16236
>>16235
>tries to catch the frog
>it slips between his fingers a few times before he catches it
>pets it
>Eat your heart our Zatanna
You grew something from thin air, animated it and even transformed it.
Are you a nurse or a witch?
No.16237
>>16232
There you go, using that word again.
And the stuff I think about is none of your perverted business!
No.16238
>>16237
Don't you just love that word?
How dare you, I run a very professional and profitable perverted business and we'll easily buy out those perverted thoughts of yours.
Name your price.
No.16239
>>16236
It's just a fun little hobby I got into when I was younger. It doesn't quite pay the bills, though.
>a couple of wallets fall out of her pockets
Whoops.
No.16240
File: 1458453630898.png (131.47 KB, 500x281, 500:281, tumblr_mqj982NeRS1rf80uto2….png)
>>16239
>Alright now jinx
>...
>checks his pocket for his wallet
You must have lived in a poor neighborhood...
My hobbies weren't nearly as flashy.
But I imagine I was much more of a trouble maker.
No.16241
>>16238
Nothing you can offer will make me say anything...
No.16242
>>16241
I have a bag of potatoes chips from Jinx's snack stack.
No.16243
>>16240
I'd love to know what kind of hobbies a pervert in training would have.
No.16244
>>16242
>DISTANT FRUSTRATED WITCH NOISES
No.16245
File: 1458454287118.jpg (257.04 KB, 732x518, 366:259, tumblr_m35zomzLu01qktaoro1….jpg)
>>16243
You have even weirder interests if you want to know that.
Hmm, I don't know if I should go into detail but before I was 10, I had my own gang. Together we did things like vandalize, shake down people and destroy a hospital.
I hope that doesn't offend you in some way~
>>16244
>Infinite keekle
No.16246
>>16242
>Bites her lip
>Is clearly tempted
>>16244
>Her face blanches
>shakes her head
...No deal.
No.16247
>>16245
>When Jinx gets out, the first thing she is going to do is make a b-line for you and punch you
>Don't think I'll forget
>I never forget
No.16248
File: 1458454767718.jpg (382.83 KB, 910x512, 455:256, 3db46b61a73054a05e6d89fd78….jpg)
>>16245
There's only one clinic I really care about and I know it's not that, so really, I don't mind. Though I hear destroying hospitals is generally a thing that would get you arrested, rather than sent to a place like this.
No.16249
>>16246
>shrugs
>opens the bag
>Air bristles with flavored cheese
>munch munch
I underestimated you mako.
I mistook you for a simple food enthusiast.
>grips his fist with determination
But you have more than just a brain in your stomach! I see that now!
>>16247
>munch munch
>Go ahead call the cops
>They can't uneat your snacks.
>>16248
That's good to hear then.
You'd be surprised with the things I got away with growing up.
And I didn't even have All Fiction back then.
It's fine, they did have an investigation but they all seemed to have mysteriously forgotten about it after a few years.
No.16250
>>16249
Ah yes, All Fiction. I'm a little curious as to what that's all about.
No.16251
File: 1458455796656.jpg (72.31 KB, 500x183, 500:183, tumblr_mmc9zwq6Fs1rmamydo1….jpg)
>>16250
Hmm, you're awfully interested in me, I'm starting to get embarrassed.
No.16252
>>16251
Well you all have very interesting abilities. It's just natural for an average trickster like me to see what others can do.
No.16253
File: 1458456449294.jpg (48.91 KB, 257x368, 257:368, tumblr_nffnmtFVE11ri1zbno3….jpg)
>>16252
>...
So it's not me then? That hurts you know.
I can't say that I blame you, I think in that exact same way.
All Fiction allows me make things in reality as though they never happened. Fiction is nonfiction. Reality is nothing.
That's what it's all about.
No.16254
>>16253
The ultimate escapism made reality. A trick I could never pull off. I'm surprised you're still in here with something like that.
No.16255
>>16254
How cute of you to point out.
But you're right, I'm no good at dealing with things. Complicated situations, embarrassing and awkward emotions, rejection, failure.
It's better if those things never happened right?
This really was the ability meant for someone like me~
>smiles
You're right, in reality I've already attempted to escape 15,527 times. But you've caught me every time.
No.16256
>>16255
Better me than the other staff. You haven't seen Ahri today, have you?
No.16257
>>16256
Is there really any glory in catching someone like me?
>cups his chin
Now that you mention it...I remember her trailing off to do something, she didn't seem happy.
No.16258
File: 1458458177973.png (33.65 KB, 133x346, 133:346, caf13d7ce19b0568255f2b7ef0….png)
>>16257
You'd best keep low with all your escape attempts or not even All Ficton's going to save you.
No.16259
>>16258
Adults are scary~
>chuckles
Well I wouldn't want to do anything to upset Miss Ahri.
She probably has a fierce temper.
One I wouldn't want to see.
No.16260
>>16259
If you had said "fiery" I might have given you some candy.
>produces a candy bar
>sourced directly from Jinx's stash
Expect some annoyed announcement tomorrow.
No.16261
>>16260
Sorry to say,
I can never do anything right.
>I'm gonna get punched for that
>thanks
You think so?
Well I don't think I've been caught doing anything I'd be ashamed of so it can't be about me.
Who's gone and done something to make her mad I wonder?
Ah well, Good night Nurse.
Being interrogated was fun~
No.16262
>>16261
Don't let the bed bugs bite~ If they're still bugs by the time you get there.