No.1391
Salut, my name is Éric Zemmour.
I’m a 56 year old Algerian Francophile (French lover for you étrangers). I draw crude sketches on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior French games. (Anything by EA for example)
I train with my FAMAS 5.56 mm assault rifle every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is forged with an iron french hand, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better at dropping it and running every day.
I speak French fluently, both Metropolitan and the Meridional dialects, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about French history and their Napoleonic code, which I follow 100%.
When I illegally move to France, I am moving to Paris to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a nationalist journalist or act pretentious in coffee shops!
I own several mime uniforms, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to France, so I can fit in easier. I swear at the Rosbif and speak French as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.
Wish me luck in France!