/pone/ - My Little Pony

>the blonde-maned, blue-eyed mare steps through the doorway into a surprising scene

“…Was soll der Scheiss?”

>hastily crafted paper Stars of David line the walls, the floor filled with aging rugs that look like they’d been taken from Red’s grandmother’s closet

>in the center of the room is a card table with a fully lit Menorah atop it, you and Red both sitting at the table wearing kippahs

“Mazel tov!”

“Vat is zee meaning of zis?”

>Aryanne’s voice was unique in that it constantly sounded like she was shouting

“Shalom, sister Aryanne. I’m glad you could make it to your very own bar mitzvah.”

“Vat?”

>Ruby excitedly places a large bowl on the counter

“I made hummus!”

>Aryanne looks toward the gleaming Ruby, and then back again at the two of you in the living room

>the earth pony’s brows lower, and the shadow of a snarl forms on her muzzle

“I suppose celebratink degeneracy is your idea of a joke, Red?”

“Who’s laughing?”

>Red lifts a hoof into the air in feigned innocence, the Fire Temple music from Ocarina of Time playing quietly in the background

“Now, please; come join me in an exciting game of tactics and risk, an adventure first played by our ancient ancestors in Israel.”

“Connect Four isn’t Jevisch.”

>you turn from your spot at the table, eager to join in

“Whoa, you sure do know a lot about the Jewish people, Aryanne.”

“Yeah; what’re you, hiding something?”

>the white mare visibly recoils from the suggestion

“Fick dich ins Knie! Knovink your enemy is how battles are von! Not zat I’d suspect

(Go fuck yourself!)

either of you to know a sing about shtrategy…”

“Ooh, Aryanne, how’d your date go?”

>you’d totally forgotten—Aryanne went through an online interspecies service to hook up with a human of an unsurprising ethnicity

“Vell, our dinner vas vonderfully romantic. He took me to a high-class restaurant Mein Führer himself vould praise; all before vatchink a magnificent sunset vith him, cradled in his shtrong arms.”

>Ruby’s face lights up in stark contrast to the unimpressed, almost disgusted look you and Red share

“That sounds so nice, Aryanne!”

>your pegasus friend groans from across the table

“Literally no one fucking cares. Tell us about the sex!”

>Aryanne’s expression suddenly loses enthusiasm

“It vas—let’s just say he vasn’t exactly a ‘base home’ in zat department…”

>you and Red look at each other in confusion

“A what?”

“A… ‘home hit’? Zee zing from zee pazetic American schport, wis zee bases!”

“Bases?”

“Yeah I don’t—”

>the two of you twist your faces in exaggerated uncertainty

“What is that, beach volleyball?”

“Oh, dude, I think she means a ‘hole in one’.”

“Zat doesn’t sound right—”

“Yeah, it’s a ‘hole in one’. Good call Anon.”

“ZAT ISN’T ZEE RIGHT PHRASE!”

“So, when are you going to see him again?”

>it was obvious Ruby was desperate to defuse the situation before it escalated

>her efforts pay off, Aryanne diverting her attention to the unicorn in the kitchen

“Nefer.”

>all eyes in the room center on the white mare

“Vaaaat?”

>Aryanne gives her roommate a nasty look before proceeding to explain

“I guess I vasn’t—he just vasn’t who I sought he vas. And he vas bad in bed. And he had a fery small schwanz.”

>a hearty ‘HA’ comes from Red

“Schwanz…”

“Anyvays, enough about him. Anon!”

>you can’t help but worry what could possibly warrant Aryanne shouting your name

“Hmm?”

“My license is suspended, and I vant to take a look at a school nearby. You must drife me.”

>did you just hear that correctly?

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

>the white mare removes an index card from her mane, passing it to you with her muzzle

“Zat’s zee address. Vee shouldn’t be gone long.”

>you scratch your chin as you attempt to decipher the hoof-writing

“Huh. I’ve never heard of it.”

“Zat is because you’re a bum, viz no sense of culture.”

>Red smiles sympathetically toward you, as Aryanne marches to the door

>actually, ‘amusingly’ is a more fitting adjective

“Guess I’ll see you in a bit?”

“Yep. Hey, you know I’ve got my own schwanz in the closet, if you wanna experiment tonight?”

“Yeah, no.”

“Lick hummus out of my pussy?”

“No.”

“Finger fuck?”

“…Okay.”

>Red excitedly pumps her hoof in the air

“Yes! I’ll try not to jerk off while you’re gone!”

>as you turn from the pegasus and toward the door, you find a disturbed Aryanne looking back at the two of you

“Ugh… six million vas not enough…”

“You can’t blame all of your problems on the Jews, Aryanne.”

“SCHAU MIR ZU!”

(Watch me!)

>>228026

why is Reds head burning…?

>the ride over to your destination is filled with disinterested ‘mmhm’s and ‘right’s as Aryanne drones on about the significance and brilliance of the Panzer IV tank design, or something along those lines

>upon approaching the building, the mare directs you to park on the curb and let her out, to which you oblige

“Vell; I guess zis is my schtop.”

“Uh-huh.”

>your head almost immediately leans down as you turn off the car and begin to thoughtlessly swipe around your phone

“Have fun or whatever.”

>Aryanne remains seated, making no effort to leave the vehicle

“Yes. Fun.”

>feeling an awkward gap in the conversation, you lend your attention to the pony next to you, and then finally to the building on the other side of the window

“What—‘Menorah Valley, Retirement Community’…”

>you groan as a smirk begins to appear on the pony’s muzzle

“Oh fuck me, I can’t believe I actually thought you were interested in a school.”

“And listen to zee incessant cries of dirty Liberals? Spinnst du oder was?”

(Are you fucking nuts?)

>still shocked by how easily you walked into the situation, you pick up the card Aryanne had given you and spare the directions a second glance

Buttefarte Academy

“How did ‘Butt Fart Academy’ not tip me off?”

“Because you lack discipline! And avareness!”

>you lay the card in your cupholder, fearing what the mare’s true intentions are

“Okay; I’m going to take us back, and then you’re going to give me five dollars for gas.”

“Fine, but first ve’re goink to do a little practical joke. Popen sie das trunk.”

>your heart skips a beat

“…What the fuck is in my trunk?”

“Just some gear vee need for zee joke! I also brought these:”

>Aryanne unlatches the glove box to reveal a pair of latex gloves and two black balaclavas

“Zose are really important.”

“Aryanne, no! You’re an adult, you do what you want; but I am not about to go to prison because I dumped tear gas into a building’s A/C unit!”

“Tear gas! Vy didn’t I sink of zat?”

>you begin to bring the seat belt back over your chest

“Sit down, we’re going back.”

“Actually, ve’re goink to fuck.”

>the buckle clicks into position as your mind swells with confusion

“…What?”

“And you’re going to do exactly as I say.”

>the situation fails to make any more sense

“No, we’re going home—”

>your fingers pinch an imaginary key in the ignition

>Aryanne smirks once more, more devilish than before

“Discipline, and…”

>a white hoof pulls your keys out from behind the pony’s head

“Avareness.”

>the car grows deathly quiet

“Give me the keys.”

“After our engagement.”

>you dive as quickly as you can toward Aryanne, only to be forcibly restrained by the seat belt

>by the time you lean back into your seat to unbuckle, Aryanne is already stepping out of the car

“Very vell sen. Sanks for zee ride, I’ll try to be back before zee police arrive!”

“Aryanne!”

>your back is against a wall

>the earth pony stops just outside the car, and you struggle to not rush out and fight for the key, considering what kind of attention that could draw

“Just—sit back in the car, okay? We’ll talk about it…”

>the smile returns, Aryanne happily re-entering the vehicle and closing the door

>you watch hopelessly as the mare drops the keys into the thin junk-holding slot at the bottom of the door, right next to her legs

“Now…”

>Aryanne sits proudly upright on the chair, her chest facing your direction

“You may begin.”

“Here?”

“Yes! Quickly, before my mercy expires!”

>you scoff at the demanding mare, grabbing hold of your zipper before a white hoof quickly stops you

“No! I demand cleanink first!”

>Aryanne places her two front hooves on the console between you two, bringing her thick pussy forward

>not exactly what you were expecting

>your hesitation incurs a frustrated look from the mare

“Anon!”

“Alright! Fuck…”

>it’s not like you were a stranger to horse pussy

>Aryanne points her nose toward the sky, an expectant expression on her face

>you lean over and bring your head close to the dark leather

>the smell is enough to send a tingle down into your pants, let alone the taste as you run your tongue gently along the labia

>with every teasing lick, a little more of natural lubricant escapes the slit

>you grab Aryanne’s soft flanks to steady yourself as you extract the leakage with your tongue

“Fff—furzer, now…”

>you take a quick peek up at the vag’s owner, unable to suppress the flutter in your heart at the sight of her already biting her lip in ecstasy

>slowly pressing your lips around the flesh, your tongue continues its work, sliding in and out of the warm entrance

>after a while, you increase your efforts, earning a moan from Aryanne as several inches of her walls are explored

>Aryanne’s hooves instinctually hug the back of your head; without much force, thankfully

“Ahhahha~”

>Aryanne begins to lose herself, forcing her pelvis against your head

>you close your eyes and let the intoxicating smell surround you; which it does so well, in fact, that it takes a second for you to realize the pony had just pushed you away

“Okay… now I’m ready…”

>without the go–ahead, Aryanne climbs over the console with her dripping love pouch, attempting to throttle your waist

“Hey, watch it—”

>the horn briefly goes off as Aryanne’s sweaty ass bumps into it, causing you to jolt in surprise

“Fuck! Hold on!”

>you locate the lever on the side of your seat, lifting it and sending the two of you back

>Aryanne straightens herself upright, hooves on your chest and privates straddling the bulge in your pants

“Get it out… quickly!”

>now too horny to fight, you unzip your fly and shuffle your pants down just beneath your knees

>Aryanne watches with eager eyes from above you, unable to stop herself from grinding your underwear with her wet sex

>your cock wastes no time standing upright once you pull it out

>just as the earth pony wastes no time lifting herself up enough to reach the head with her puffy lips, easing herself down onto you as you use a hand to steady the penetration

“Shit…”

>warmth immediately surrounds you, Aryanne already going to work, raising her hips up into the air, then slamming them back down onto your pelvis with a wet slap

>without even thinking, your hands make their way to Aryanne’s behind, tightly grabbing two handfuls of the pony dough

“Ooooh fuck, fuck, fuck!”

>Aryanne’s movements become more animalistic as she tightly squeezes her eyes shut

>your mind is equally absent, leaning your head back with mouth agape; the tight, wet passage the only thing you’re able to focus on

“M-Mein Führer!”

>you’re simply too far gone to even care what bizarre shit was happening in Aryanne’s mind right now

>the mare shakily makes a final thrust onto you, grinding back and forth against your pelvic area while you’re fully inserted

>the thin layer of sweat and mare juice between you two allows Aryanne to do so with little effort

“Fuu-uk! Ah! Rammen Ihr Fett Affe Schwanz IN MIR-OoooOOooOOOH!”

(incoherent Nazi shit)

>as expected, a torrent of fluids washes over your cock as Aryanne reaches her climax

>you close your eyes, embracing the tightening depths and short shower your buried cock receives

>when you again lift your eyelids, you find an exhausted Aryanne leaning back against the dash with you still inside of her, her leaking vag creating a thin stream that rolls down your stomach and into the seat beneath you

>the scene remains this way for far too long, your mind returning to reality

“Um… what about me?”

>the mare utters no response, instead lazily pulling herself off of you and plopping down into the passenger seat to catch her breath

“Vat about you?”

>you can’t help but scoff, slowly stroking your cock to maintain its erection

“I haven’t finished yet!”

“God damnit Anon, you are a such a large infant!”

>Aryanne angrily pushes aside your hand with a hoof, vigorously rubbing the flesh with her coat

>had it not been for the shower she’d already given to you, the hoofjob would likely be a little too rough for pleasure

>you resist complaining, instead leaning back and listening to the music of the wet fap fap filling the car

>after a few moments of this, the sensation you were looking forward to bubbles up

“I’m cumming…”

>regret instantly sinks in after announcing the warning, Aryanne lovelessly aiming your cock away from the steering wheel and her face, and instead toward your chest

>your batter quickly joins Aryanne’s ‘gift’, further ruining one of your favorite t-shirts

“Seriously…?”

>Aryanne holds her head up proudly, with an evil smile wrapping around it

“You’fe done your superior a great serfice; you schould be sankful I’ve allowed as much.”

>the mare carelessly tosses the keys onto your stomach, landing in the mix of fluids with a soft splash

>a long sigh escapes your mouth as the last of your natural high fades away

>you refuse to give Aryanne the satisfaction of knowing; but, the experience had been fairly enjoyable

“Keep zis up, and I may one day allow you to efen defile my perfect fur vith your seed.”

>’woopty-doo’ you think, knowing for a fact that Red would happily swallow a load you first buried in her ass

“Now, I sink a proper meal is in order after—”

>you start shaking your head back and forth before Aryanne even finishes

“—such a drainink actifity. Take me to zee new German place up on Crafen; I’fe heard—”

“No.”

“—I hafe heard great sings about zeir bock.”

“No, fuck you, I’m taking you home.”

>dejected and pouty, Aryanne leans against the car window as your turn the key and start your car up

“We have time for Amir’s Deli, we can stop there.”

>the distraught mare in the seat next to you throws her head back into the seat in frustration

“You know zat place is a front for zee Jevisch Mob!”

>you look sadly at your ruined t-shirt, finding a hint of relief in finally turning things back around on Aryanne

“Okay cool, but I could really go for some pastrami.”

>the two of you finally drive off as Aryanne cries out in more unintelligible German gibberish, audible just over the sound of you playfully whistling an impromptu medley of Kiss songs

>you push open the apartment door to find a smiling pegasus look up at you from underneath the roof of a rather impressive blanket fort

>if it wasn’t already clear from the walk down the hall, the small pony bundled up in a heap of blankets under a tent assures you that Infinity Acres was having heating issues again

>Red’s efforts bring a small, but earnest smile to your face

“How’d it go?”

>you eagerly toss your crusty t-shirt aside, in favor of a hoodie peeking out from underneath the futon

“Well; your friend blackmailed me into having sex with her.”

>you aren’t sure what reaction you’re expecting from Red

“Yeah, I’ve been there. Come sit down;”

>Red gently pats the blanket next to her

“I bet you’re worn out.”

>the hoodie slides down over your chest, happily returning to the luxury of unstiff fabric

>you crawl under the blanket roof and settle in next to Red, just enough room for you to sit without arching your back

“I’m kind of surprised she had to threaten you, knowing—well, you.”

>Red chuckles, setting aside the book she had been reading

“She didn’t have to; but, I figured I could have some fun with it.”

“Ah.”

>a comfortable silence settles as the mare moves closer to you, resting her head on your arm

“Aryanne’s quite a character, isn’t she?”

>there’s a pause in the conversation, as your mind suddenly revisits the space between Aryanne’s trip and entering the building, where you parked your car on a quiet dirt road

“I mean she’s theatrical, that’s for sure. But…”

>you cautiously look all around your vehicle, only inserting the key into the trunk when you’re positive that you’re alone

“…there’s a lot underneath, I think. More than meets the eye, or whatever…”

>the hatch opens over your head, and the sun reveals the trunk’s contents

>a sigh is all you can manage

“You know what I mean?”

>the trunk is empty; the light only illuminating an old pack of camping equipment, and copious amounts of dust

“Yeah, I think I do.”

>Red pats your knee, and the two of you are given another brief moment of silence

“Anyway, who cares about that shit. I want you to read something for me:”

>the mare places her book on your lap

“The Princeton Field Guide to Dinosaurs; what is this, a coloring book or something?”

>Red twists her face in offence

“Turn to page 16.”

>you comply, lazily turning the pages of the book until a page labeled “The Evolution of Dinosaurs and Their World” appears

“Right there—”

>your eyes focus on a line just above the tip of a cream hoof

“Read that.”

>you’re willing to humour the mare, even if just for the sake of her warmth as she leans against you in an attempt to see the page

“‘The conclusion of the Permian saw a massive extinction that has yet to be entirely explained and that, in many regards, exceeded the extinction that killed off the terrestrial dinosaurs 185 million years later.’”

>Red stares up at you expediently, as if surprised your breath hadn’t been taken away

“What? You’re not even curious?”

“I dunno. Seems pretty straight-forward to me.”

“This shit,”

>the pegasus taps the page

“This shit anally annihilated like ninety-eight percent of all marine species on Earth; it took ten fucking million years for life to recover! And yet, all people ever go on about is ‘Auh, muh T.Rex; muh K–Pg extinction!’”

>you can’t help but chortle at Red’s enthusiasm

“Okay, nerd.”

>Red gives you a disappointed look packed with surprising sincerity

“Here.”

>feathers brush past your face as Red climbs onto your lap and settles herself in like a cat, with her rear legs forced to extend beyond the cradle

>the mare goes through the pages with her muzzle, before stopping on one in particular

“Read this; starting at ‘Sauropods’.”

>you’re unable to stop yourself from gently running your left hand through the mare’s mane, as the other props the book up in front of you two

“‘Sauropods just got bigger. For the rest of the Mesozoic, dinosaurs would enjoy almost total dominance except for some semiterrestrial crocodilians; there simply were no competitors above a few kilograms in weight…”

>your hand makes it way behind Red’s ear, who happily leans into a loving head scratch

“…Such extreme superiority was unique in earth history. The Jurassic and Cretaceous were the Age of Dinosaurs.’”

>barely after finishing the paragraph, Red begins excitedly explaining how this is somehow the coolest shit on Earth

“Isn’t that rad? These giant, dumbass creatures ruled the world not in any part due to their intelligence, but because they were literally just too fucking big for anyone else to challenge them!”

“I wanna know what these crocodiles were all about. Apparently they challenged the dinosaurs.”

“Yeah dude, the Sarcosuchus had a nine-ton bite force—it could have easily swallowed either of us.”

“Pft, speak for yourself. I’d punch that thing square in the eye.”

“Oh, yeah? You’d 1v1 a seventeen thousand pound monster?”

“Give me a real challenge.”

“Yeah, all I’m getting is an image of you taking a metric ton of croc cock. All the lube in the world couldn’t save that ass.”

>you fail to stifle a laugh at Red’s colorful imagery

“‘Croc cock’?”

>it was moments like these—moments illuminated in the bright light of the shadeless lamp, and wrapped in the warmth of Red’s embrace—these were the moments that you cherished the most; the moments that kept you returning to the seemingly lackluster Infinity Acres

>amidst every power outage, every argument that penetrated the walls, every police raid; there were nights like this

>it was comforting, depressing, chaotic—

>it was home