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/qq/ - Personal Issues

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File: 7dc659778b31457⋯.jpg (40.89 KB, 426x557, 426:557, abortion meme.jpg)

 No.1405[Reply]

how do i ask for help without being datamined?

 No.1412

You should avoid giving out any personally identifiable information, such as names, addresses, email addresses, online usernames, unscrubbed photos and screenshots; anything that can be googled and linked back to your real identity (or anyone else you know, friends and family on social networking sites can be your undoing if you're not careful).

If you write out your posts while omitting anything of that nature, we'll get the general gist of what's going on. Pointless intricacies generally turn people away anyway, a degree of vagueness and genericness will make your posts more relatable and understandable to others.


 No.1539

There are a lot of guides on staying anonymous.

You might want to check them from someone else's computer, though :DDDD

No, don't use your cellphone for compromising stuff.

Using public computers that don't require ID is a good idea.

There's also more difficult tech stuff (using virtual machines, etc)

As for your data, a typical mistake is uploading images from your cellphone, which fills them with metadata. Just take a shot at your screen and paste it in a basic image editor to start from scratch.


 No.1814

It's impossible to get help and do what you want. I want to get help with some of my anger issues, but I also want to be a firearm owner. If you really think you need help, be prepared to lose some freedom in the process.


 No.1873

>>1814

Fuck firearms. Should you really be in possession of one if you're too mentally unstable to not be a threat to yourself and others? You should really focus on yourself in the long term more than just your personal rights. I can't believe I'm saying this, but life experiences have shown me when to give up certain things for my own happiness.


 No.1877

>>1873

You can tame your emotions over time, but once you lose the right to bear arms, you're fucked - it's likely not coming back.




File: d0a8dedff95cfbb⋯.jpg (59.64 KB, 800x680, 20:17, f43b6cadad36fa0fecb901ef20….jpg)

 No.1291[Reply]

Incoming wall of pure, undistilled whiny faggot

>Almost 22

>Been a lazy self-hating underachiever my whole life

>Been a NEET for the last 4 years

>Was home-schooled for basically 6 years before that

>Dumb as a rock

>Didn't go to college

>Never had a real job, having no skills, experience, or connections coupled with the fact that I can barely leave my house anymore let alone interact with people makes it kind of impossible to find one

>Don't even have a license

>Haven't had friends since elementary school, family is probably ashamed of me though they try not to let it show

>Never had gf, honestly not sure if I'd want one no I don't want a bf either you fuck

>Probably autistic, would explain pretty much everything

>Don't feel like living anymore

I have no motivation to do anything. Everything seems utterly pointless. I feel like happiness is something that's always going to be out of my reach no matter what and I just want to stop living. I've tried exercising and learning.new skills thinking it would improve my outlook on life or some shit, but before I can even make any real progress I realize that even if I got /fit/ and wasn't a dumbass I'd still just be a socially retarded self-hating loser. Then I have a breakdown involving excessive masturbation and sometimes drinking until I puke. Lately I can't even fucking sleep, since the instant I stop playing pointless video games or binging on dumb anime the negative emotions and regrets come crashing down like an avalanche and I want to scream and put a gun to my head.

I don't know what to do. Is it possible for me to find a reason to continue living or should I just sell all my shit and donate plasma until I have enough money for a shotgun and a single shell?

9 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1373

>>1371

Good advice. I've found that people will go out of their way to have a good time with me if they know I don't go to bars often. You're drunk, they're drunk, everyone's happy.


 No.1382

>>1291

Ok. dude. A few things that worked for me.

1. Unglue yourself from the monitor. Start cutting your hours in front of it. Do anything else. Anything, but away from the monitor. Ideally, something that keeps your hands busy.

2. Set some type of goal for yourself. No matter how stupid or illogical. Give yourself a chore, it doesn't have to be useful, and set records doing it. Try to break your own records. Do this everyday and change activities once you grow bored.

3. The nuclear option. You are going to have to use your own depression to raise yourself from the ground. What you want to do is actually convince yourself that you are going to an hero. If you have the guts, give yourself a date to fuck off the earth.

BUT

You must have a bucket list. The only rule is: whatever it takes to complete the bucket list, you do it. You want to fuck a gal and most likely will have to pay for it? Get the money no matter what. Steal, beg, work, sell vidya, whatever, but get it. Want to watch X or Y anime? do it, but it has to be the highest quality copy you can get. No matter what you have to do, you do it. Wanna go X or Y place just so you can say you were there? Do it… Think of it as the last meal of a death row inmate.

Depressed as you are, you're thinking, 'that's a lot of work', and it might be, but give yourself a chance to do it. If you fail miserably, then nothing of value was wasted but your time. And since you are going to an hero, it doesn't fucking matter. You can fuck up everything you want. In fact that's the best thing you could do, fuck up and don't give a damn. Because it doesn't matter.

With your depression maybe you feel like you don't want anything. Think hard, there must be something you want before leaving life. Go for it.

Also… No matter what, tomorrow will always be better. Always.


 No.1414

OP here, thank you everyone. I've read all of your suggestions and I'm going to start trying to cut out my escapism bullshit and start forcing myself outside for starters. I truly appreciate all of the advice.


 No.1512

>>1414

If it helps, I'm pretty much a carbon copy of you except I have a license, and not only have I thought about an hero-ing but even tried it once. Let me tell you what I've done so far to help myself, take from it what you will. (Or ignore it, whatever)

I went to the closest votech and grabbed all the flyers they had, and chose a trade that seemed the best fit for me (medical assistant) I started going and even though I'm not done yet I already feel more proud of myself. I also started going to the gym and, not gonna lie, it kinda sucks. But the fact that I can say "I go to the gym" is also a giant booster.

That's it, those 2 things are all I did and I feel better about myself already. Sure I'm still a friendless fatty, and I still think about an hero-ing, but life is at least that one microgram less shitty. And when you're where we are, that can mean a lot.

I dunno, I hope that helped :/


 No.1817

get a job OP. seriously thats where your problems stem from

you say your an self hating, underacheir, NEET, dumb, have no skills, no license. most of those involve dissapointment in not having accomplished anything.

i know its hard, but just get some shitty part time job to begin with. its better than nothing. save up money to get your license and a shitty car. bam, you bought yourself a shitty car. nobody did that for you. you own it. its an indescribable feeling to buy a 500 dollar car let me tell you. if your looking for a goal thats a pretty easy one to shoot for.

a job will give you a sense of purpose. theres nothing like going home at the end of the day, cracking open a beer and feeling like you earned it.




File: 8e4c4feeeffa2c1⋯.gif (410.13 KB, 221x196, 221:196, 1466180795184.gif)

 No.1764[Reply]

Looking for a bit of advice for a young fag who has no direction but potential.

>Balance in life is always short lived

>constant swinging all of the place with depression,mood, and general feelings about things

>Probably bipolar (runs in the family along with a whole other list of nutward syndromes )

>Tried therapists a few times but extra young fag then (V& young)

>Always had to bring grandparents in (legal guardians yo)

>They treated me well enough but they had no fucking clue how to deal with mental stuff so the therapists thought I was an attention seeking faggot

>Long story short, no more therapists

>Eventually get put on some weak anti-depressants but stopped taking them

>Don't like taking medication much and at the time I didn't really need them

>But as always shit creeps up

>Motivation and drive come in short bursts that don't last long enough to making anything out of

>Depression and happiness come in short bursts also

>Recently been pretty good

>Got a good GF, madly in love with me

>She has a lot of baggage though (Sexually abusive father, psychotic mother and sister)

>Super nice fag decides to go balls in with support

>She's everyone else's shoulder to cry on

>I become her shoulder to cry on

>shits good for about 6 months

>Moods, depression everything starts coming back again

>Start to become distant from her, a mix of not wanting to hurt her but also me being a selfish prick and just not wanting to be there when I felt like that

>Forgot to mention, long distance relationship

>Currently under the rouse that my computer and internet are fucked

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.1767

>>1764

>stopped taking anti-depressants

Awful idea.


 No.1784

If you actually care about this girl, get in fucking contact with her! Make yourself do it. Having someone you care about and who cares about you helps with life. Don't let her just slip away. I've done that a few times, and those are the things that keep me up at night, what would my life be like if I had sacked up and made the effort.


 No.1785

>>1767

Taking anti-depressants is an awful idea. What was an awful idea is for OP to stop talking to that girl.


 No.1787

>>1764

Find a way to work without motivation, that should be your number one goal right now.




File: 93b5761f2b9f093⋯.jpg (38.01 KB, 564x422, 282:211, elaine 7.jpg)

 No.1709[Reply]

Ok, ok. Ok. I've never ever, ever! Felt the need to post here but I feel like I'm losing my mind?!

I don't even know where to start. My mind is so jumbled. I guess it started two weeks ago at work. I work in a factory, but I don't do the labor, I'm more of a spreadsheet maker/book balancer/secretary type thing. Really informal but it's my uncles company and I needed a job, yadda yadda. Good pay.

I was sitting at my desk with nothing to do, and I hear my boss (not my uncle, just another coworker and a friend of his) go, "Phil sighs as he looks at the weather."

I look up like, huh? And he looks at me like, huh? He didn't say anything. I was like…that's weird. But oh well. Anyway.

And then the next day I was talking to some coworkers on the floor asking them work stuff, and one of them called me a bastard but when I called him out, him and everyone else looked at me like I was insane? I apologized and we all laughed it off. Factory is loud, right? People mis-hear things all the time…

Except, I was at Wal-Mart and one of the workers there was putting away stock and I swear to GOD he looked straight at me and said "The chicken was just killed" but I asked him what he meant and I felt so bad because he looked so confused and like I was crazy?! He hadn't even opened his mouth apparently. Shit like this has been happening so much, my friend even pulled me aside to ask if I was feeling okay..

Small things are happening too. My girlfriend says she's making salmon for dinner, I hear her preparing salmon, I smell salmon, then she brings it out and it's lasagna. I asked her where the salmon was and she was like, "…What? I said lasagna tonight" And brushed it off like I'm being silly. I could've sworn this one shirt I owned was green and not teal. Shit is changing and people are saying stuff but they're not?! People are narrating their lives sometimes?! Theres no way my friends could be pranking me, not when random people on the street are doing this too.

I'm so scared, I don't want to be thrown in a mental hospital. NOT trying to offend mentally ill people, I just. IPost too long. Click here to view the full text.

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1727

As these people have already said it sounds like you're developing schizophrenia. All I can suggest is going to a doctor and talking to them about it.

I don't have any personal experience with schizophrenia so I'm not sure what will happen after that, but I don't think they'll put you in a psych ward. You'll probably be referred to a psychologist and/or a psychiatrist for diagnosis and medication. I have no idea though.

You should probably Google other people's experiences going to the doctor in your country with signs of schizophrenia.


 No.1729

Are you getting enough sleep?


 No.1757

You just went over the cuck's nest


 No.1768

File: 61083dc92faf9e9⋯.jpg (298.41 KB, 1280x1024, 5:4, chigchong.jpg)

Did anything in your life change around 2 weeks ago? Did you move? Get a new pet? End a relationship?

I had a friend go mildly insane because he had a gas leak under the house he just moved into. I personally have experienced auditory hallucinations that I chalk up to doing to much acid in high school.

You seem rational enough to figure this out.

Don't stress about it. Because then you add stress the the equation.>>1709


 No.1778

>>1729

I experienced auditory hallucinations after getting far too little sleep for 2 weeks, I had trees whispering my name, and as you said people saying things they didn't actually say. freaky as fuck. I quit my 2nd and 3rd job the next day.

I'd say lack of sleep or stress before anything serious. take a few days off and chill. If it persists then get some professional help.




File: 426a2c402d4b949⋯.jpg (29.84 KB, 220x190, 22:19, IMG_0788.jpg)

 No.1039[Reply]

how do I actually stop being a fatso?

The willpower method isn't doing it for me, I can't say no to the food.

Living with my parents, who run a bakery so a shitton of food around me all day.

Wat do?

20 posts omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1642

Shame.

Wear tight or ill-fitting clothes into public and if you have any shame at all you will be more motivated to better yourself.


 No.1674

>>1039

Stop taking public transit and ride a bicycle. I have never worked out a day in my life, eat anything I want, and have always been a healthy weight, if even a bit under.

Ride a bike you fat piece of shit.


 No.1700

Swap the food for things that are low-calorie and high-protein. For example, a big bowl of broccoli has way fewer calories than that same bowl filled with pudding. Drink lots of water instead of things like soda, make sure you get a lot of sleep. Then, lift things. Heavy things. Lift them a lot, properly mind. People who lift eat a fuckton because they're using those calories to make muscle. With any luck, you'll at least go bearmode.


 No.1716

>>1039

When I've lost weight in the past it was a matter of only eating when I was hungry, stopping when I was full, avoiding obvious unhealthy food and resisting cravings.

I didn't count calories and I didn't exercise. I don't recommend this; being underweight doesn't mean you can't still have a high body fat percentage, which means you'd probably still be skinnyfat.

This was a couple of times in my teen years which was like 7 years ago, but assuming you're an adult I think the principles still apply.

Recently I've gotten really fucking fat. The fattest I've ever been. But what's worried me (aside from my appearance) is how unfit I feel. I'll regularly find after overeating my heart pounding in my chest. Not only is it uncomfortable, it's also worrying. I don't want to have a heart attack.

I've renewed my efforts to start losing weight (which has been a goal of mine for years, but I haven't really had a proper reason to do it). I'm doing a little bit at a time. I'm counting calories using MyFitnessPal, I'm weighing myself weekly and trying to cut down on ordering delivery food (and buying unhealthy food with my groceries). Once I get that under control I'm going to add exercise. Couch to 5k, which you can get as a free podcast that guides you as you run.

To keep me on track I'm using Beeminder, which charges you money if you don't keep to a commitment. I have a goal for losing weight each week and a goal for having a caloric deficit each day. So far I haven't been too successful with the caloric deficit, but I consider cutting back on delivered food and keeping food diaries a success and I've improved the way I take care of myself in other ways recently too. You can't expect too much from yourself too fast (especially if previously to these changes you've been living like a piece of shit as I have) and you can't beat yourself up if you fail to live up to your expectations one day or one week. It's counterproductive. You just have to focus on reaching the next goal instead.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.

 No.1968

Maybe leave your parents house? I can pull a 500 kcal/day deficit accidentally just by not buying tasty food.




File: 4d009987a27672d⋯.png (581.86 KB, 718x802, 359:401, 4d009987a27672d6839a5ac4ce….png)

 No.1524[Reply]

Recently my girlfriend lost her job of 4 months working at a kiosk in the mall.

Now I would not be so worried if I saw this as being a temporary thing. But before this last job, she was unemployed for over a year and I foot the bill for everything Food, gifts, gas and things she needed.

>anon, give me money so I can buy you a Christmas present!

>anon, I had a bad day :( Can we get Thai?

On top of this, I had to, and have to, drive her most everywhere because she has no car and cannot drive.

Now that she is unemployed again, I know she's going to start gaining weight like she did before and be at home being sad / looking for new work.

The thing is, she had been looking for work for over a year before this last job and it was always some new story about how she was so close and than they called her and rejected her. She applied for countless places that either just didn't call her back or outright rejected her.

Than she had a couple of days out of the year where she got "hired" only to stay at the place a few days and never get any hours afterwards.

Am I right to be suspicious? Is there something happening here that I don't know about? Anyone had anything similar happen to them? Help pls.

7 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1632

>>1524

>a person is mooching off of you and you continue to enable them

There is nothing lasting in this relationship, she's clearly proven herself as a dependent leech. Dump her.


 No.1636

File: c9985af2c2d162c⋯.png (127.19 KB, 717x506, 717:506, shave.png)

>>1533

we do have public transport but if you aren't in a city you're gonna have to learn how to drive.

>>1524 if you love your girl and want to stay with her, that's fine, but it sounds like she keeps taking and not giving. You should encourage her to be more independent. Her dependence isn't good for either of you. Ask her if she wants to learn how to drive. Point out places that are hiring. Start out helping her and then sit back and see if she'll try to help herself. If she refuses to change, you might have to dump her.

source: am pro third wheel and gril


 No.1641

Finding a shitty job is easy. She just keeps getting 'rejected' or fired because she doesn't want to work them.

McDonald's is always hiring, every business needs a janitor, and ditches don't dig themselves. Yeah, the pay Sucks, but work is work.


 No.1684

>>1636

Wow, that image is foul.


 No.1698

I have an employee that's a bit like her. She says she used to just walk out on jobs all the time if she didn't feel like working that day, and the only reason she's at this current one is because it's low-key and she wants something on her resume that lasts at least a year. She's friendly to everyone, otherwise. I didn't hire her and she does indeed show up and do all the work expected of her, so I don't have much issue with her as she is now. It's my job to make sure they do their jobs, I don't recommend the position.

She, herself, is kinda overweight, believes she is oppressed just because she is a woman and that's why she's "paid less" ("no, not at THIS company silly"), talks like a gangsta wannabe because "black people are the most educated group" (yes, she said that), and gets her boyfriend to buy her things she doesn't really need on the fly. This girl was saying she was only with the guy to "play him for as long as possible", but she "got attached" and when he asked to be her boyfriend she said yes. The boyfriend is a pseudo-punk fedoralord. I don't think she's gonna be gainfully employed in the future unless she makes some big changes to her outlook, but as it is I can only see her sitting on a couch with a burner kid while her boyfriend tries to pay the bills.




File: d2317b857dbd19d⋯.jpg (62.91 KB, 354x528, 59:88, IMG_4564.jpg)

 No.339[Reply]

I have a problem. I am a man that likes the idea of being in a long-term relationship with a truly dominant female. But I have come to realize that expressing such a thing makes me reviled by all women I have come across. I have tried to even date women that claim to be "strong and independent" and even radical feminists. It doesn't take long before even the radical feminist expects me to take the lead in the relationship and in bed. In fact they react with total disgust.

Why is it so difficult to find a truly dominant woman?

24 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1526

>>339

Because you're part of the dominant sex you dumb fucker.

It's not that bad though, if weak man that can't get laid didn't exist, natural selection couldn't work.

So keep being a creepy un-masculine faggot, humanity's future is at stake.


 No.1548

>>339

>want a dominat female

>is a man

pick one and ONLY ONE you absolute subersive cuck.


 No.1569

Dominant women exist, but there are less of them than there are submissive men. If I recall correctly, around 10% of all women are dominant but around 30% of all men are submissive. It's just an extremely thin market you're trying to get into and it's one of the reasons you can earn a lot of money working as a dominatrix.

Reasons for this? Who knows, I would guess it is a mixture of biological (testosterone cultivates aggression and so on) and societal factors (men are encouraged to be individualistic and leading, women are encouraged to be average and subordinative).

I would advice you to bring up the issue much earlier in the relationship though, probably on the first or second date already or even make it clear before getting to know someone that you are looking for a strong woman who takes charge.


 No.1579

>>339

Stop watching Lesbian porn, its degenerate and lesbians on average are terrible abusive people.

How would you raise your kids with an abusive women?

Idiot fag.


 No.1633

>>339

no healthy relationship can be based on a fetish, be it a sexual, racial or power fetish.

You should seriously re-evaluate the reasons why you are attracted to such women.




File: f8f67cf81802aa3⋯.webm (629.22 KB, 640x360, 16:9, Will you fight.webm)

 No.1504[Reply]

My birth was a mistake. (I'm okay, though.) What does that mean for me?

Is it okay if I don't believe in premarital if I was born because of it?

Am I allowed to advocate good morality if I wouldn't exist without bad morality?

Please give me your thoughts on the matter. inb4 "it doesn't matter" type posts, I know, I'm just curious for what you guys think of the greater implications of the circumstances of my birth.

4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1529

>>1515

I agree. I think you should consider the circumstances of your birth a blessing and a gift because you're here now, but it shouldn't affect your future decisions.

If you want to have a child with the right woman, have one. If you don't feel like pure ready for a child, don't have one. It's all up to you.

I don't think premarital sex is necessarily the issue here. I think unprotected sex is the issue. It doesn't matter that your parents had sex while they weren't married, what matters is that they didn't take the necessary precautions to ensure that they wouldn't have a child. But like I said before, think of that "mistake" as a gift because you're conscious now and even able to deal with high-minded ethical dilemmas in the first place.


 No.1530

File: 6c03d06f40e961b⋯.jpg (74.95 KB, 960x720, 4:3, IMG_0829.jpg)

>>1513

>the ending

Wtf are you talking about?


 No.1546

Aren't most children accidental? I always had it in my head that the majority of kids were unplanned.


 No.1615

>>1504

I had this same problem for years until an ex of mine pulled me aside one day and we talked and Bob Ross was on in the background.

And she goes: "Babe, that's what you are. A happy accident that turned into a beautiful painting!" Fucking hit me right in the feels.

It doesn't matter how the paint gets to the canvas. It matters how your life, your painting, makes you feel. Be happy, Anon. You're here; time to pick up a brush and make the most of it.


 No.1627

>>1504

it means that you are a bastard and therefore your blood is inherently tainted.

And no I'm not talking about some type of /pol/ muh haplogroup autism here, what I mean is that you were born out of temporary feelings of lust and bad intentions, therefore in the saner parts of the world people will look down at you with disgust even though you may not be a bad person and so do I




File: aabdbded22afc23⋯.jpg (45.49 KB, 500x572, 125:143, Diemossmoke.jpg)

 No.1250[Reply]

Hi /qq/ this is going to be a debilitating post for most of you. I'm sure this is unlike anything you've ever seen, and this isn't some being special stunt. I genuinely need assistance.

I'm all good in the physical department, years of torture from my family has made me exercise everyday and I have surprised my father's physical ability, I make cool YT videos and have decent subs, I am popular online(I guess that's good) and I eat EXTREMELY healthy, no sugar, no salt.

My problems are:

Existential crisis, dealing with and debating the purpose of life.

Authoritarian parents: deadly paranoid and stupid to change.

Masturbation addiction like a mad dog, makes me feel like half my brain melts every time I do it.

I dislike mainstream and always beat around the push. I thought that getting a physically fit body and eating well will boost my confidence but it just made me more of a psychopathic sex addicted monster. I love to program, have hobbies, but I can't seem to stop yearning for the past.

Help me make sense of my scatterbrained thoughts. I feel like I procastinate and multi task too much. I want to disconnect from the web and leave this shit behind for a week to see if it will work.

15 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1499

>>1409

the pepsi thing was just an example of how a small choice can lead to a wall of neglected [not necessarily repressed] emotions toppling down. The journal is the managable flood gate, and helps acts as a fixed record for emotional milestones and thoughts - this is useful because over time memories warp, as we don't really remember things as they were; we remember things as we last imagined them. Anyway, the journal is a very useful tool.

I can sympathize with desiring love, or a deeper emotional connection. And this is going to sound cheap, but have you ever considered hiring a prostitute for a hug, or a hugging session? There are even professional cuddle-partners out there who have specially designed enviornments and everything.

Self-love is identical to self worth. Imagine someone who you hold dear. This might be your father, or a guiding figure - even if that affection was temporary, hold onto it for a moment and imagine that affection; do you feel that same level of affection and care for yourself? If you do, that is self love. If you feel nothing, then there is a good chance you were robbed of that feeling by yourself, or by way of early childhood trauma.

The journal comes in here. If you feel that the affection does not exist, and cannot, or otherwise should not, then write about it. Let the emotional foundation of a physical record stand as something you can build on - this can act as a stopblock to help end repeatitive negative thoughts. Examine different relationships with people in your past; oarents, teachers, childhood friends, employees and coworkers. Even people you may have seen only one single time in your life.[yes, that is a relationship of sorts] It's from honest, and critical inspection of our interpersonal connections that we can see our self worth, and our deserving of self love.


 No.1516

>>1499

>have you ever considered hiring a prostitute for a hug, or a hugging session

The idea has certainly run through my mind, but I could never actually go through with it. Huge moral conflicts aside, interacting with strangers is something I have a big problem with even if it's just talking or walking past them, never mind paying to be intimate with them, and I also can't transport myself around. I am mostly limited to my bedroom at my mother's house as I can't drive or use a bus, and there's no way in hell I could invite a prostitute/"hugger" to this house. Not to mention I can't make phonecalls either.

My dad has always been affectionate and loving, but my mum is more distant (they've been divorced since I was 7, I live with her). My dad hugs me every time I see him or we're parting ways, but I could count the amount of times my mum has hugged me in my life on one hand. In fact, we never had conversations beyond "do your homework / tidy your room" until I was about 18. Regarding whether or not I feel about myself the way my dad does about me, I doubt it. I would say most of the time I generally don't care for myself. I avoid obvious dangers and risky things, including drugs/alcohol/smoking, but I mostly don't go out of my way to keep clean, get dressed, look presentable, go outside, talk to people, and all the other areas of daily life for most people.

I do technically have a journal, I bought it 2 years ago, but I've not used it beyond a handful of pages. The problem I found is that while I'm very good at listing off objective things that have occurred, the more introspective and subjective side of things was completely missing. I don't know what it is, but I can't write about how I'm feeling, my emotions, or things of that nature, all I can write is "I did X, and then Y happened, then I went to Z". I'm undecided on whether this is because of some kind of trauma/mental defence mechanism, or it's just the fact I'm diagnosed with asperger's.


 No.1522

>>1516

Well, now we're starting to get to the root of the matter; aspergers and emotional recognition and defence mechanisms.

There's a thing calleg 'mindfullness', which directly challanges one's norm of thinking. Essentially, it is the constant questioning of motivations and emotional reactions, but with purposeful restraining of thought in terms of straying off topic. Google it when you have time, and consider adapting it to daily life. It will take about a week to three weeks to really adopt and make into a good habit, but it's worth it.

No one really knows what causes asperger's syndrome, it could be genetic, aquired, etc. But one of the thing that is known about it is that emotions from our own perspective don't normally fit with the emotional profiles of others; being how we process, express, and handle emotions. One thing that most asp.s have trouble grasping is that humans are basically all alike, and that they are just the same; regardless of gender, race, ethnic group, etc., we are all basically upright, poorly evolved apes with primitive urges and self destructive super computers made of meat lumps. As one famous man said it; "we all shit. the king and the beggar's shit is the same. we all shit." And therein lies the core - you have nothing to prove, other have nothing to prove, and gain or loss is coincedince.

ps- most prostitutes are outright terrified of [but used to] being arrested, and by my research, it seems most appointments are arranged by text messages. Some clients and providers even get into actual relationships over the years… but be safe and don't bring too much money or anything you don't mind losing.


 No.1609

I lack all real emotions except negative, raw ones (lust, disgust, fear, superiority, violent glee and a sense of justice when dominating someone I hate, etc).

And even those have been fading lately, except the bouts of intense lust. I don't want to lose all touch with feelings and become a machine. Worse, an animal, stripped of humanity, retaining nothing but the occasional powerful urge to fuck.

Even that statement, of my desire to avoid becoming an animal– that has no passion attached to it. I simply know it to be true, because I check, mentally, and the answer is there: no, I don't want that to happen. Maybe it's nothing more than a remnant of past assertion, or maybe it's just an artifact of some utilitarian concept I had instilled in me at some point (humans should be such-and-such), probably by popular media. Am I a ghost of someone who once lived, nothing but muscle memory?

Oh yeah, media. As I slowly became how I am now, I first noticed that I was having genuine, deep feelings less and less, and I resorted to emotional movies and games and the like to get my high. Over time that became incredibly superficial, able to be triggered by tropes that I consciously knew to be embarrassingly tropey, but I kept coming back for the hit and now that too is almost gone.

So now I:

>have contempt for most people (social degeneracy, etc)

>don't experience positive emotion except tritely

>have lust as nearly my most powerful driving force by contrast, and greed when lust isn't rearing its head

I'm aware this seems sociopathic. I don't think I'm quite there because once every few months I'll have something break through and I'll feel very passionately heartbroken over something, generally something that I once treasured that I need to defend from the normalfags, and during this short period I'll write lyrics, compose, try and fail to draw, go back to writing prose and music and generally output large quantities of half-created works, until some combination makes me feel triumphantly that redemption exists or some shit like Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


 No.1613

>>1250

Welcone to Adulthood. The rest of your years will be fraught with questioning life and paying bills to survive while you do it.

Get off the computer and exercise emotional self-control. If a physical diet got you physically fit, a mental one is sure to do the same. Stop watching porn. Stop having meaningless sex.




File: 25d97403b33bf64⋯.jpg (7.48 KB, 190x216, 95:108, carlo.jpg)

 No.559[Reply]

Is it too late to try to make friends and enjoy life after you've finished college and gotten a full-time job? I missed out on practically everything growing up: making friends, joining a school club, having some place to go after school that wasn't home, etc. All I did was stay inside, play games, browse imageboards, and fap. I made a few friends towards the tail end of high school, but I lost contact with all of them. They all moved to go to universities while I got stuck in this suburban town going to a community college. During college I had a second chance to make up for what I missed, but I blew that chance as well by taking online courses instead of going on campus like everyone else.

So now here I am, 25 with a full-time job that leaves me with no free time during daylight hours, hating myself more and more with each passing day as I realize more of the repercussions that come with having wasted my youth. I'll never know what it's like to belong to a little group of friends that are like a second family to each other. I'll never have someone I can trust, someone to just talk to about any subject we'd find interesting, someone that makes me feel like I matter.

It's not like I'm capable or worthy of making friends anyway. I've joined IRCs and Discords and the like, and I never fit in. I never seem to be able to talk about whatever anyone else is talking about, I'm just so distant from everyone and I have almost nothing in common with anyone. It's like I'm a fucking alien.

I know there's more to life than having friends. I could pursue what few hobbies I have, improve my knowledge and skills, maybe even pick up new ones as I go. But it's not going to fill that void, it's not going to put out the loneliness. And I may as well not exist if I can't find anyone to be close to.

Sometimes I wish I could just start life over knowing what I do now. I can tell that I've been mentally stunted by missing all these vital experiences from youth, and all I want to do is make up for them so I can feel at least remotely human. Maybe I'd feel satisified with life for once.

22 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1483

>>1479

So you're telling me that anon, who I'm going to suppose has mostly anon-like hobbies (tv, animation, anime, games, programming, etc.) is going to be able to join an already formed clique of autists that like those same things?

I doubt it. Maybe for a normal hobby, yeah. But don't expect it for the majority of them or anything that doesn't involve sports.


 No.1484

>>1483

With hobbies like that then I would say you should search for a collaborative project to work on, or even start one yourself.


 No.1496

>>797

>Remarkably similar to me OP. I'm 31 and dunno what to tell you. Doesn't get better, you just get number.

38 years old here. Can confirm.


 No.1500

>>751

Meet up has groups that are based on your interests, trying to recover from trauma/depresison/whatever, or just want to find people to help you with a project. Problem is it's $20+ to make a group, and a lot of the users are flaky, superficial cunts (worse now that libtards and sjws took over Meet Up).

Go forward with the coding, man! It'll take time.


 No.1503

You sound pretty fucked. It's pretty hard to be social when you haven't been practicing at all your life like most people who have. Try to do activities where you meet people. You also need to try to lose all sense of shame and just try to make friends. That's the main problem with most shut ins, don't try to interact that much for fear of being embarrassed/looking stupid.




File: 597834a7ff47b98⋯.jpg (14.04 KB, 320x213, 320:213, defeatedcat.jpg)

 No.973[Reply]

>Try to make each work day decent while working even when the day goes to shit within 2-3 hours, hoping I can move up

>Today, the workplace holds a lunch paid for by one of it's clients

>Lunch goes to shit, as one of the bosses screams at me over a stupid fucking line people ahead of me didn't follow

>Forced to go back to the line a la Milton from Office Space, so I said fuck it, getting lunch somewhere else

>Work gets worse in the afternoon, as people from other departments still make my job worse with their mistakes (It's been like this for weeks and months, yet I get Hell if god forbid I do something wrong)

>A chick from work I wanted to ask out & date/fuck leaves early with another coworker like they're dating, probably getting blacked/fucked by said coworker

>Realize the place sucks after 5-10+ people already left or got fired (10-20 in total left within 2-3 months), and there's no sign of career growth (even if there's an opportunity, we lost so many people I'm not gonna move out of my shitty position even if I learn new skills, and they always get shitty temps). Rules and teamwork don't really exist, and I also realized I hate everyone at my job including said chick.

I do my best to put up with bad days, but this one took a beating on me. It's sad knowing the only thing I look forward to is how frustrating and disappointing my work day will be because I feel alienated and miserable (I keep applying to other places, but I don't get any bites out of emails from places I never applied to). Maybe it's my fault for doing this, but I tried to socialize with people at work to help me with my depression and feel less alienated (I tried other means like Meetup in the past, and hated my experiences with most of the groups). I don't want to bother with anyone at this point even if the alienation feeling kills me on a daily basis.

4 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.996

Never been a white collar man, but I do understand what it's like to be unlocked by coworkers. I'm my world, if you aren't an alcoholic who spends half their paychecks on memejuice, you basically suck dick in their eyes. What makes shit worse is when these "people" are less lenient on mistakes or even fucking questions because you don't norm it up. Even worse is that the majority of them lack my work ethic. For instance, I didn't eat breakfast nor dinner because I was waiting for relief (which never came) from the first group to eat.

For finding new work best bet would be to walk in the damn place and start your relationship with company of preferance as a congenial yes, I know congeniality isn't a strongsuit for most robots. Just be nice.

Then after a bit, or look shorthanded, whichever comes first, you can ask if they

need most work.


 No.1010

>>981

Departments more or less do whatever they want, and there is literally no synergy among people and teams. Two people in the department that makes my life miserable do whatever, and they give you an attitude or bitch when told to do it better by any higher up (their supervisor is a shit-bag who screams when he has to stay late instead of drink beer).

As pathetic as it sounds, I'm still pissed over the bitch that got blacked by the coworker she left with and the shitty lunch party. The bullshit I deal with on a regular basis only motivates me to keep looking for something else.

>>996

My last job was like this: If you're not a redneck, nor are you part of he family working there you were screwed. I worked with a manchild whose dad was in shipping, but when something went wrong, I was always blamed. There was another manchild who got away with whatever because his brother worked there (both sucked at their jobs).


 No.1015

Pro-tip OP: You are not the only one who hates working there. That is why everyone is a judgemental angry asshole, or somebody who has to drink themselves into oblivion and fuck complete strangers just to get a snowflake-sized taste of what a moment without suffering feels like before it quickly melts against their tongues.

If your contentment relies on any factor that is beyond your epidermis, you are fucked in the long term. Just like seeing an idiot teenager doing ecstasy and other degenerate shit makes them fucked in the long term. It's an attitude and perspective sort of thing.

You'll never advance if you can't love what you do (even if you get mad at it sometimes), and you'll never find love in something unless you bring the passion and willingess to your work rather than expect it to come to you, and you can't do that when your shit's out of whack.


 No.1078

>>1015

Here's the thing: this place is honestly the 3rd worst place I've worked at. It's just no matter what I do to make things better for myself/others, it backfires on me due to bad, impulsive decisions, no communication from others, and employees being pricks.

How do you advance at a dead end? Even if I put the effort to prove I can handle tougher tasks and pick up new skills, the company would rather keep me at the same spot for less money, but only give me more shit to do. One thing a guy taught me at my last job was to be careful showing you're very good because people try to exploit you.


 No.1498

>>973

>>1078

>Nearly a week since I posted this

>Job still sucks; still get blame or complaints about something beyond my control, equipment always gets misplaced by the faggot after me

>Withdraw myself from coworkers, only saying hi when they say it first I really want nothing to do with them anymore.

>See the bitch from last week

>Says "Hey," but I don't even say hi to her let alone look at her anymore. She's dead to me like most people in my life.

Still trying to get out of the place. There's no room for growth even if I learn something new to add to my resume, so I keep looking for jobs during breaks and after work. One place seemed interested in me, but I don't know if I want to work in a shitty city that's worse than my hometown for more cash (and I'm weary about contract shit).




File: 515d9c8eb706eee⋯.png (167.96 KB, 806x439, 806:439, 2017-03-16 11_50_54-6.jpg ….png)

 No.1435[Reply]

I don't really know why I'm posting this. I don't think I can get 'help' as there's no help to be had, it's just a mindset thing.

After last year, I had everything I saw in my future stripped away from me. I became incredibly depressed, to the point where I didn't leave my home for months. I'm trying to do better now, but I feel I finally broke under it all. My entire life has kind of been a struggle to remain happy, and do things better. I thought I was getting better. I thought I was on a path to a better life. I was improving relations with my family, going to transfer to the main campus of my University, and had a relationship where everything was fulfilled. One by one all of these aspects of life crashed and burned in the span of one month, and I was left alone without really anything.

Ever since, even though I'm trying to improve, I can't put my all into things. I feel as though it's too temporary. Like it doesn't matter how hard I push myself, in the end, everything will just fail again. Like there's nothing concrete in this world. There's no reason to work toward anything, because if I did, it'll just disappear again.

Maybe I'm scarred by what happened. I've never been so close to happiness, and then just having it disappear. I don't know. Ever since, everything just feels so melancholic.

It feels like trying in life is just trying to grasp at something that I couldn't ever possibly reach. So I've begun to lose interest in doing so.

1 post omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1447

Maybe you should try and redefine what happiness is. Lot's of people are unconsciously doing so at this moment. I don't know what exactly it is that you lost but it probably included things that no longer exist(marriage/education/job stability) that sort of thing.

The world has changed fam, wake up and smell the coffee.


 No.1448

>>1435

I know that feel man, being on top of the world and then the rug gets pulled from under you and it all vanishes in an instant. I don't have any advice unfortunately, I'm feeling a little better now that it's 3 months forward, but I still feel like I can't relight the fire that was previously burning inside me.


 No.1456

>>1442

It all seemed to be out of my control. I did everything I could to try and fix it but nothing happened. No matter what I did, it all still slipped away.

>>1448

That's how I am now. It's been almost six months, probably more. I can't relight the same flame. No matter what, my fire is weaker. I'm trying to get back into my old hobbies but it just isn't happening. I don't see a point to any of it.

I'm sorry that happened to you, as well.


 No.1476

>>1447

Yeah, changed into twice as shit as it was before. The world should just die tbh.


 No.1492

>>1435

Just move on. Surely there will be something in the future who will make you feel happy.




File: 92cbc92da335a41⋯.png (13.28 KB, 530x404, 265:202, 1486337924200.png)

 No.1160[Reply]

Physical, mental, social, cultural, financial etc reasons why you will never get a gf

>5'5'' manlet

>Asian (not even smart squinty-eyed type but nig-tier type)

>Chest keloids from acne scars

>acne scars on nose and chin

>big nig-tier lips

>fat as fuck face even when I'm not fat

>disgusting flat notes

>stretch marks in lower back, armpit, thighs

Social

>no friends, no social connections outside of family

>ESL with shit accent but live in Chadstralia where almost everyone is either a Chad or a Stacy

> No driver's license, no car

Financial/Career

> 3 months NEET after graduating

>none of my previous work experience is related to my degree

>no internships

>shit grades, failed 5 courses

13 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1296

>>1295

FUCKING RICHFAG GET OUT OF MY BOARD REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Now that that's out of the way, I would suggest practicing talking with people. You don't want to spill your spaghetti too early into meeting someone, but you also don't want to be completely secretive; that being said, it's better to err on the side of being secretive in my opinion.


 No.1309

File: 997402a3405f28b⋯.jpg (395.64 KB, 625x523, 625:523, enhanced-buzz-23664-136692….jpg)

>>1296

I guess my statement wasn't too clear…I am done searching. I am not going to go approach some passerby with an agenda of my own anymore, when ultimately I know that it is not going to end well for either of us.

To affirm this decision, I have begun to maintain my appearance to the barest minimum - I shower once a week, I brush my teeth once every two weeks, maybe. I am growing my hair out, and am keeping my beard unkempt.

I am completely and intentionally eliminating any shred of approachability I have, making me ineligible for healthy relationships, and as I've said, I will not take unhealthy ones. For example, I've had women hit on me who clearly thought I was some sort of "bad boy," but that is the furthest thing from the truth - I am sentimental about ordinary trees for christ's sake.

I have sentenced myself to a cycle of suffering that is predictable and consistent, rather than engage in a roller coaster of hormone-driven, unrealistic, and self-destructive hope and disappointment. I have given up on happiness in 3D.


 No.1335

>>1309

>Going into a self help board to announce how you are giving up completely.

Other fish in the sea bro.


 No.1337

>>1309

Then you have no-one to blame but yourself for your misery.

Enjoy it.


 No.1466

>>1160

Physical

>Never had braces. I read you can straiten your teeth without them, but the information is scarce on it, probably because dentists make a shit ton of money on something that is almost required these days if you want people to look at you.

Other than that, I am fit. I even have abs. I honestly thought it would help attract women. Didn't exactly work.

Social

>No friends. People tell me that I need to try being dumber because I'm apparently too smart to want to talk to.

>No car

>Autistic

Financial/Career

>Been employed for most of my adult life. I've only had one job that lasted 6 months before getting laid off, and that was many years ago.

>Poor

>NEET




File: 52e2c264e7f7f0b⋯.jpg (96.03 KB, 934x620, 467:310, 52e2c264e7f7f0b07130b4c3fb….jpg)

 No.1254[Reply]

i can't fucking figure out my sleep schedule

because of university, most days i've got stuff from 1pm or later, till 6-9pm

except for fucking wednesday, when i have to be there at 8am

i slowly ended up getting up at 12-1pm and going to bed at 3-5 am

but now it's fucking impossible to get up on time for wednesday

i tried going to sleep every other day rather than every day, but i'm clearly not cut out for it, staying awake is hard enough, by the next day i don't have any energy to do anything

wat do

 No.1260

30-40 minutes before you wish to go to bed. Run. Get your legs and body spent and EXHAUSTED. You cool off, take a shower, and hopefully you'll be tired enough to fall asleep. Perhaps watch a really boring lecture while laying in bed. Experiment a little bit, but I feel like physical exertion and a cool down will have you ready for bed.


 No.1379

>>1260

I agree with this. Exercise can be the key to sleep sometimes.


 No.1458

File: 39e6a79465b0cf4⋯.gif (2 MB, 300x345, 20:23, 5873163631626.gif)

>>1254

Try polyphasic sleeping anon




File: 8b0d594e564d675⋯.png (12.38 KB, 300x250, 6:5, BC322qXPhz-4.png)

 No.1267[Reply]

Ok. I'm embarrassed to write my problem because I might come trough as a whiny bitch. But this is it:

I stopped having relationships 4 years ago, when my girlfriend dumped me before my mom died of cancer. Fuck it. I went full MGTOW and focused full time on my job and even got a modicum of success. I didn't have a girlfriend nor sexual relationships (unless i paid for them) for that period. I spent my time (and money) on hobbies, porn and a couple visits to nice scorts. I even was able to save a lot of money, I had a lot of time for myself and was content for the first time in a long while. I thought I had found the secret to happiness.

Then came this girl. She is pixie-like and very, very sexy. I met her in a party and talked to her for a while. I knew she was sorta attracted to me, but I stayed convinced on my MGTOW endeavor and simply ditched.

Fast forward a couple of random encounters with her and long story short. We ended up fucking. She somewhat convinced that this was gonna be a simple hookup, a one night thing. Big mistake, I should've listened to my instincts. Continued in another post.

31 posts and 3 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.

 No.1419

>>1418

No, I'm nothing like them. I get the most out of life through creation; I'm a joy to be around. I did not throw the first stone, this? why I'm so angry with them? because this has been going on for some time now. These fucking freaks study how to ACT like a human…so they can rope in victims.

Sorry, Justice is just another word for revenge. You wanna hide behind our laws and societal customs so you can be some sort of evil *puppet master* ? don't be surprised when one of the empathic "sheep" get wise to the predators and starts fighting back


 No.1423

>>1419

I think you're chasing after the boogeyman. Don't waste your life doing that.


 No.1436

>>1267

i haven't even ever had a gf or sex fuck you cuunt


 No.1437

>>1419

Small difference: they’re utterly oblivious.

An actual psychopath does study people; dramatic personality types do not, at least not any more so than everyone else.

{N,B,H}PD have nothing to do with psychopathy. Dramatic types do not understand their own bullshit, no matter how pathetically obvious it may be to everyone else. They’re personality disorders; they affect the fundamental way they view and interpret the world, and which memories get stored for later use, and which ones actually get recalled. They do not magically shut down the amygdala.

I think you're hanging on to a grudge against one girl in particular, and you need to get some help for it, before you wind up doing some stupid shit that'll rightfully make her out to be the victim.


 No.1798

>>1313

>I don't care what anyone says about depression or anxiety or whatever, those pills are fucking poison to your brain.

/pol/ tier analysis right there.




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