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/qq/ - Personal Issues

(We'll help you) deal with it


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A board based on 420chan's personal issues board. Any discussion of problems pertaining to motivation, social life, relationships, family issues, education/work experiences and personal problems is welcome here.

Shitposting will result in a temporary or permanent ban, and posting content that is illegal in the United States will result in a permanent ban. Illegal content includes but it not limited to explicitly illegal pictures, inciting others to commit illegal activities, and requesting others to aid you in the pursuit of illegal activities.

Shitposting litmus tests:

>Does my thread OP discuss personal issues by any stretch of the imagination?

If the answer is no, it's probably shitposting.

>Is my reply related to the OP, other replies in the thread or board discussion in general?

If not, your post is likely a shitpost.

Use your better judgement please.

File: 3006e3b57e13b30⋯.png (9.06 KB, 300x100, 3:1, banner 2.png)


Feel free to submit banners to be uploaded at the top of the board.

Dimensions are 300x100. Feel free to use the OP image as an example.

10 posts and 12 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


Thank you all who have contributed. I believe that I've uploaded all of the ones posted in this thread so far. Keep me coming.

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For five years, I've hung out with a severely depressed person.

He is mean, stubborn, often unresponsive, unhelpful, selfish, … unwilling to get help.

We have no common interests and nothing to talk about because he does nothing all day.

I care about him a lot and I don't know why. I abandoned him for a year once recently and I missed him so I came back.

He tells me he loves me and I believe him. I know he cares about me but his disability prevents him from showing it or doing jack shit for me. I can't even call him a friend but I love him and he loves me, too.

I don't even know what sort of advice I'm looking for here.

There is absolutely nothing I can say to him that will make him get treatment. I have tried. Do not waste my time.

Why do I care about him? Should I force myself to tell him to fuck off forever?

depression makes some people inhuman


>There is absolutely nothing I can say to him that will make him get treatment. I have tried. Do not waste my time.

It's up to him to get the treatment, but that's not easy to do. Even with treatment, when depression sets someone off, it's going to put a dent on them.

>I care about him a lot and I don't know why. I abandoned him for a year once recently and I missed him so I came back.

That didn't help him at all knowing he got ditched by someone he cared about. He should have come back to you. I hated people who ditched me only to come back because it made me think no one really gave a shit about me or what I go through with my depression (I'm just saying from experience).

>Why do I care about him? Should I force myself to tell him to fuck off forever?

He was your friend, and someone you might have seen as a partner, but both of you can't drag each other down. It'll only hurt both of you in the end.

>depression makes some people inhuman

No fucking shit, Sherlock.



>Should I force myself to tell him to fuck off forever

Yeah, you should do that, ASAP. If he's not willing to work with you to make your relationship work, then it's never going to go anywhere. You can't have a relationship with another person who can't or won't do what is required to keep it alive. Do yourself a favor and cut him out. If you're concerned that he's gonna off himself, then you need to get someone involved, like his mother or something, and let them know what's up, but don't feel guilty if something happens because there's nothing you could've done anyway.

In short, cut them out of your life if you can. If not, then gradually distance yourself from them until you're at the point where you can confidently break it off.

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I've been a hikikomori since 2010, the year I dropped out of high school.

I have not had a single social encounter with anyone other than my mom since.

I no longer feel loneliness per se. I hate everyone even more now than I did back then.

But, seemingly unlike many people with my condition, I haven't completely outgrown the desire to converse. I'd still like to talk to people. Just not normies, not women, not even 8chan users, really. I post once a month now or so because I just can't stand your "culture" and most of your interests. Jojo's bizarre adventure is a piece of shit. Pokemon is a piece of shit. Pulp fiction is a piece of shit. You all own cellphones and half the posts on this board are about girlfriends. Etcetera.

I digress, I'm going off-topic.

What I'm getting at is I want to talk to people that hate almost everything and only leave their house once a week like me.

I don't know why. I don't know what we'd even talk about. I just want to try it.

Trouble is, I am an outlier. I am talkative when family gives me the chance. My social skills never depleted somehow even despite my constant isolation. I guess they are an inborn trait for me. Not the case for many of the fucked up people I have spoken with over the internet. They were always quiet and left me hanging so I gave up. And that was when I was lucky enough for them to agree to talk to me at all.

It's a paradox. I wish to speak to fucked up people, but how would I find them when they do not post and I do not post. We are not active on the internet, that is what separates us from the rest and also from each other.

13 posts and 1 image reply omitted. Click reply to view.


Dropped out of school in 7th grade back in the late 90's to be homeschooled which never actually happened. More or less been living as a hikikomori since 1998. Spend about 23 hours a day in my room and leave the house once a week for groceries. Touchless virgin.

Pretty sure I'm Schizoid. Not once have I ever felt lonely. At this point I could win the powerball lottery tomorrow and I would more or less still live like this just with a better computer.

Honestly I think I would be miserable if I actually worked. 24 hours a day free time already isn't anywhere near enough time for the amount of shit I like to do online. Right now alone I have 40000 songs in my Spotify backlog, 800 videos in my YouTube watchlater Playlist, about 200 videos in my Netflix queue. Games I bought over 5 years ago on Steam that is haven't even installed yet.



You sound like a dickhead, so I'm not going to tell you to meet other people. You'll bring them down and make their lives worse, and probably make your own life worse in the process.

I will say this, however: if you can't get along with people on 8chan (i.e. you're too cynical and jaded even for them), then there is something seriously wrong with you. This place is as toxic as a sewage dump. If you really have problems with it, then you might have a brain made of nuclear waste.

Please seek mental help if you haven't already done so. I'm telling you that more for your mother's sake than your own. You are a parasite and she probably deserves better. However, she probably created this mess in the first place.



Realized I used the term probably about 6 or 7 times in that post. Oh well.


OP here. I found an IRC exactly like what I was looking for, filled with people as i described.

Great. My goal was achieved. I am happy in that regard, it was kind of like uhh an itch I couldn't scratch for a long time.

Yet, being around them makes me feel lonely for the first time in years and years.

I have zero common interests with these people. They're definitely superior to 8chan faggots–none of them watch Jojo, or tumblr cartoons, or shitty Tarantino movies, there's only one nintendo dicksucker in here posting about the Switch–so that's great, their interests are inoffensive, but they do not align with my own.

Neither do their philosophies. Believe it or not, I'm not suicidal and I do not hate myself. All of them want to die and think they're pieces of shit. They all hate the hikikomori lifestyle and strive towards some ideal life, I don't know what, they don't want to be normies but they are unhappy with their situation. What would be in between that would sate them? I do not know.

So, of course I have nothing to discuss with them.

I am surrounded by human beings right now, the hateful freaks I wanted, and it's not working out.

Some people were meant to be alone. This confirms it for me.

I'll be okay. I have a waifu. It's my security blanket and my best friend.


ITT: OP is a lonely sack of potatoes and refuses to meet people.

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>Be Me

>24, virgin, autistic as fuck

>Graduate at 18

>Work a bunch of shitty jobs for next the few years only to get layed-off/fired at each one

>Finally land a "good job". Doing CAD design

>Eventually become company engineer after other guy quits

>Automate tons of things, saving Mr. Shekeljew tens of thousands of dollars

>Ask for something better than $17/hr

>But anon, youre young and you dont have a degree. I have no reason to pay you anything.

>Finally get sick of his shit and walk out the next day

>6 months later

>Still unemployed

>Have become aware of the NEET lifestyle

>Have had some money fall into my hands so I can get my own business going

>Currently am building a machine that will literally turn a profit within the next 2 weeks

>Constantly getting calls from mom

>"ANON! You NEED to get a job"

>"You have to move out of your dad's house"

>"Here, this shitty back-breaking (((job))) pays $13/hr part-time. You should have no problem paying rent and bills with that"

>*Practically ignores business that I am currently starting*

>Dad also constantly hounding me with shitty jobs he sees on craigslist

>I've already been through this a bunch of times

>Ill take the shitty job, do OK for about 6 months, realize I'm pissing my life away only to enrich Mr. Shekelgoldbergstein while getting barely enough to eat, and eventually quit or get fired, and end up in the same spot im in right now.

Why must wagecucks force us to become like them?

19 posts and 2 image replies omitted. Click reply to view.


File: 70c0150d2142c13⋯.png (444.41 KB, 677x345, 677:345, bg.png)


your opinion would be different if you live in a civilized country that doesn't give autismbux



And I'm sure yours would be different too if you weren't living in a developing country, much of which is a poverty-ridden shantytown. Either way, manual labour sucks, regardless of whether you live in the first, second, or third world, but in the first we have the opportunity to avoid it.



>hurr teachers are worthless

this guy is a retard.

>hurr you got bad grades because you're lazy

>there's no other possible explanation

fuck you.



Hi, OP. Let's get this out of the way first. You are a fucking idiot. Who the hell quits with no back up plan? You couldve gone to a local community college at night for fucking pennies on the dollar to get an associates that would bump you into the $30/hr category.

Tl;dr: you dont want to grow up. Welcome to the real world, shitfuck.



>Currently am building a machine that will literally turn a profit within the next 2 weeks.

>Post is 2 months old.

How's the machine going OP?

Legit wondering

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How do I get over my fear of failure and really low self-esteem?

I hate myself and constantly punch myself while reminding myself of my failures as well as my parents reminding me of how much of a loser I am for not following through in trying to become an actuary and making $100,000 to $300,000 from the start.

2 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


It's good to be hard on yourself. You are the only one who can really keep yourself in check. You are the only one who can set standards for yourself.

However there is a fine line between self discipline and self hating. Do not hate yourself. Instead of speaking to yourself in a shit or rude way, speak to yourself the same way you would speak to a trusted and dear friend asking for advice.

It's not good to keep patting yourself on the back for no reason. Be hard on yourself but be fair to yourself. Set your goals, set your standards and live bro.


How do I deal with depression that came from my fear of failure and self-hate?



Understand that your depression, whether a part of your normal mental make-up or induced by constant negativity, is not YOU the total person. It is simply an aspect. Managing depression can only be managed if you admit to yourself that having the blues doesn't mean you've failed at life or aren't deserving of love.

The best way to conquer your fear is to recognize it for what it is; a thought. Simply a thought. Thoughts can't hurt you. It's the decision to deny yourself happiness because you think you might fuck up or look like an ass. In whatever you do, do it because it makes you happy. Get dirty. Take chances.

Always know it's never about the crashing and burning and always about rising from the ashes.


Any quicker and easier way of dealing with depression. Been feeling like shit more and more often. Been insulting and looking down on myself more.



Yes. View negativity as an internal critic that you can ignore and tell to fuck off. Smile at yourself in the mirror. Change your diet. And most importantly, talk to your doctor.

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>be me

>be 11

>puberty is about to start

>really want to be a girl

>can't be because i'm male

>always hang out around female family members and friends, never had a male friend for more than 4 months

>haven't developed sexuality yet or seen porn so it's not a weird fetish

>neglect this anxiety

>wait a year

>anxiety is inescapable

>talk to parents about it

>they're hostile as fuck and say the internet brainwashed/indoctrinated me

>they don't believe in doctors and only take homeopathic medication

>my mom has PCOS and tried to cure it with a gluten free diet so that's probably why i was born fucked like this

>gender dysphoria was apparently created by big pharma

>i repress

>i find /pol/ at age 12-13

>i call everything i don't like degenerate

>i am an absolute asshole to everyone on the internet and real life

>i still have a bad reputation for it and i completely accept that

>my life is at rock bottom

>the house looks like /r/neckbeardnests and my parents are ready to disown me

>be me

>be 14

>realize that i only use pol/cringeanarchy/what have you to make myself look better than others by comparison

>thought i was saving the world from liberal degeneracy but i was actually just being a faggot

>bone structure is now unpassable

>clean myself up

>talk to parents again about dysphoria

>they roundaboutly accuse me of watching trap porn

>say tPost too long. Click here to view the full text.


For fucks sake, man. Don't go down this road, become a faggot, and mutilate yourself. Take hold of yourself. Tell others go fuck off and go lift. You're a man. Act like it. Lift, eat your meat, throw off the faggotry before you fuck yourself up for good. Throw the hormones in the trash and fix yourself up, m8.



Let's be real for a moment and address this issue of faggotry and/or non-faggotry.

You are not your cock. And likewise, your cock is not you. Your sexual identity as a person is not the be-all end-all of your personality; just an aspect of it.

Secondly being gay or straight is not a state of being. Being gay or straight ARISES out of a state of being. Meaning, you can exercise limits of self-control when it comes to your desires. It doesn't make you a monk or a bad person for denying yourself sexual desires nor more than a bodybuilder avoids foods that will mess up his gains. The idea that you must indulge yourself in whatever or you're othereise not being true to yourself is preposterous.

Thirdly, you're young and honestly, the darkest parts of the internet raised you. I would at least wait until you could support yourself financially before embarking on any independent course as that will prove how responsible you are with something as major as transitioning.

Be who you are and not what society thinks you should be.



Have you considered the idea of talking to a psychologist/psychiatrist? Maybe they can fix you. I mean, looking at this rationally, you'll never be a girl. You can take hormones and cut your dick off but you'll still be biologically male. You'll never have a vagina/uterus. Since you can't change your biology, maybe you should try changing your mind.



>be me

saged and hidden

File: 286b39e074a5859⋯.png (27.33 KB, 1081x340, 1081:340, car loan.png)


>make about 1250$ a month

>spend about 1200$ on bills a month

>clothes and shoes falling apart

>can barely feed myself

>in more and more pain as i work as my shoes become tatters and i cant afford any medical care to see if there's any issues

>had no time to actually save to get a cheap car, current one was wrecked

>had to settle on whatever the dealership would give me RIGHT NOW

Would it just be easier to kill myself lads?

4 posts omitted. Click reply to view.



Find someone to share an apartment with, so you can split the bills.



That thread must the only good thing from Reddit. Are you familiar with Lynda or Free How-To Tutorials? Is Lynda $30/month? Do you know any other sites that might have more learning courses (I'm just curious).

I'm considering Lynda or Free How-to because I'm making it a personal goal to get out of my shitty job in 6 months (Don't even care if I quit or get fired from my place).



I wish I saw this thread sooner. I need to get out of my job asap.


Penny pinching isn't gonna help you here. You need to find some type of work that will give you a lot of overtime.


Learn how to budget and what you can live without.

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Hello guys. Some things in my life have recently come up, and I've neglected this board.

However, I still believe in the mission. If anyone wants the username and password to the mod account, please shoot me an email to [email protected] expressing your interest.

Basically, all you have to do is convince me that you care about this board and that you want it to survive. If you can refer to past posts that you've made, that would be good as well.

Plus, if you just need someone to talk to, let me know. I'm here for you all. We're gonna make it ;-)

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Anyone dealt with a partner not wanting sex until after marriage?

I've been going out with this girl for about 6 months now, we've had some discussions about the relationship. She at some point talked about not wanting to cage me and saying that if I found someone else, she'd be fine with it; of course, the same would apply to her. I convinced her to not open our relationship, kinda. She still doesn't like referring to it as 'dating', because she feels 'caged', but we are exclusive.

Two days ago, she talked about not wanting sex until after she got married. We've done some stuff, she's received oral and I've touched her to, presumably orgasm, but she refuses to even see my penis, let alone touch it or suck it.

From what I've gathered this is a religious matter, but she just said it 'feels right'.

Now, we're both virgins, but there's a big age difference between us (19, 29). I really feel like I love her and that I could probably wait, but there's also this feeling of having already waited for so long, and I just can't keep myself from thinking about it when we're together.

I don't know what to do. I feel like it'll be bad either staying or going. Like I'd either be a monster that only wants sex and throws away potential life-partners because he's not getting it or an idiot that bends over backwards to accept everything she wants because I'm scared of being alone.

6 posts omitted. Click reply to view.


OP here.

Some advice I've heard is that maybe I'm not actually in love with her, it's just a matter of unexplored sexual desire.

You guys think that if I had sex - with a prostitue, for instance - I would be able to ascertain whether I actually feel something for her?



Don't have sex with a prostitute. don't have sex with some women, get a wife and have sex with your wife



What if I marry and then discover all I wanted was sex? That it was my desire for sexual interaction that made me think I was in love?

I don't want to be like that, and I don't want to have sex with a prostitute, but I don't think of myself highly enough that I'm not considering the possibility of me being a sex-craving asshole.



OP, you have me curious. What exactly do you think you stand to gain by withholding yourself from having sex until marriage?



If I feel like she's right for me, then her companionship for the rest of our lives, I guess. That's too optimistic though, so probably nothing is the realistic choice.

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How do you deal with teenagers or kids mocking you in public as a grown man? I'm talking about stuff like pointing at you and laughing behind your back, calling you a faggot, etc.

I'd figure that the most appropriate response is simply to ignore them since they're just being stupid kids and that you shouldn't give a fuck about every little thing. You can't hit them and you can't give them a lesson verbally. What would you do? Do you agree with me that ignoring is the best?


Tell them this. "Half of you little shits are going to be drug addicts or end up in jail. The other half would end up with shitty, minimum wage jobs that'll waste away your lives and turn you into alcoholics."


Refute their insults with logical arguments. Or just call them faggots.


don't betray your emotions (self consciousness, humiliation) with body language and wait for it to pass


They make themselves lower than dogs. A dog will bark because they are just protecting their territry and are ready to meet you in mortal kombat. A worthy advisary a beast is. A shit lord knows you are no threat and they have no home to guard. No matter what you say to them they will play it off in their mind that they are right. Give them the response that a no shit taking dad would give.



>you cant hit them

Says fucking who? I've popped my fair share of snotty little shits whose balls collapse in on themselves when confronted for shit behavior. Their friends scatter like cockroaches and think twice about doing that shit to the next person.

Get swole, anon and they won't fuck with you.

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Hi all,

About a year ago I met an amazing guy thru a fucking gay board and we hit it off really well. He asked me out about 8 months ago, and it's been amazing ever since. We prepared for a con so that he could come up to where I live (He lives in OH I live in Ontario, Canada). Passports and all that shit. So excited.

We finally met about a week ago and I can honestly say I've never felt so much love for a person in my life.I've dated before but it was just… It was overwhelming. Between actually feeling loved for who I am and not being pressured to lose weight or change my personally, I think i've fallen extremely head over heels for him. It was the best 5 days of my life from the time I picked him up from the airport to the time I brought him back. Leaving him at the airport was probably t he hardest thing in my life- He was late for his flight so I couldn't kiss him goodbye. I stood at the gate and watched him walk out of my sight through snot and tears.

I've dated guys before, but I've never felt so strongly about someone. How do I go about surviving now? Whenever I wake up I think I feel him against me- holding me, but he's not. I catch wiffs of his cologne off of my travel bag, I feel him wake me up from night terrors only to be alone in my room. I've been crying every night since and I can't sleep.

I guess TLDR I love this man so much I'm scared of getting hurt. It already hurts just being away from him. Whatdo?

Thanks all


you're definitely the bitch in the relationship.



>How do I go about surviving now?

Keep in close contact and if its serious enough, discuss your future.

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I have a lot of ups and downs emotionally, usually over the course of multiple weeks. When I'm at my lowest I think a lot about how I was raised and whether its even possible that I might recover from the social retardation I've picked up. One reoccurring thought is that it might be nice to have a girl to talk to this all about who isn't a girlfriend. Iv'e had one girlfriend before and it didn't go all that well and I realize that I wont be able to talk to a girlfriend about this stuff even if I got one, but this reoccurring idea is so appealing. I can't explain it but I was wondering if anyone else ever felt this urge to have a girl to talk to about life who is just a third party you trust to not screw with you



If you started talking to a girl about your life/problems, and she was nice and actually listened to you, you'd probably end up getting a crush on her. From there, you could either keep it a secret and suffer in silence or ask her out and be rejected. Either way, it wouldn't end well for you. Personally I don't trust girls so I'd never tell them my secrets, because I'm sure they would try to use that knowledge against me at some point.

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27 year old KV here, never had a gf, been a waifufag for years now. After some recent events I wanted to try dating one last time before just giving in to eventual wizardhood. I don't really want to meet girls through coworkers, and I don't go out to bars or anything, so I'm considering online dating. Anyone have any experience with it? I'd be looking for an actual relationship. Random hookups aren't appealing to me.

Anyone been in a similar situation too?

8 posts omitted. Click reply to view.



*in person than online, I meant.


Without rubbing it in, I actually went on one of my worst date[s]s[/s] a while ago. Let's just say I'm grateful I'm never seeing her again.

Online dating sucks. I recommend just trying to get out there in Meetup groups, events, or even trying to talk to coworkers be careful with coworkers even if you're not gonna date them. If you insist on sites, at least try Okcupid (It's getting worse because libtard sjws are taking over the site, and they keep removing useful features). Plenty of Fish is called Plenty of Failure for a reason, Meetme is full of creepy fags and creepier sexual predators (the owners are douche bags, and I knew someone who hated working with them), and you should never pay money to get laid let alone rejected online (Which was why I never used Match). Eharmony is joke. One of the best pieces of advice I got from a guy was paying money to get laid on a dating site is pathetic.


I met a few exes off of Myspace, Okc, and Meetup. The ones with high, unrealistic standards are just as fucked as the OP because they're going to die lonely for being cunts about selecting a partner. I call them the "Fuck me Pumps" based on an Amy Winehouse song. You don't want a "Fuck Me Pump" because she'll make your life miserable (they come in all shapes, colors, and sizes btw). You want someone who gives a shit about you, will be there for you, and actually has more girlfriends than guy friends (because she might have fucked one or two for the hell of it). Interests are a 50-50 thing, but she should at least tolerate your hobbies and passions if you're not being a fucktard about them.

>Also, there are lots of girls who use dating sites to get free dinners. They agree to go on a date with you just to eat at a nice restaurant and then they completely ignore you.

That's why you do something cheap like coffee, and if she's willing to pay, let her. Not all of them are out for a free dinner. You can do things without blowing a shit load of money.

Post too long. Click here to view the full text.


I actually got a girlfriend off of OKcupid once. I broke up with her because she was suicidal and annoyingly dependent. Man was that a mistake

Since then I've used tinder and OKcupid occasionally, people are only on Tinder to feel good about themselves and only very very few people are willing to have a conversation, and those that are high inflated expectations.

That's basically the summary of it: constant validation from tons of incels on dating sites inflates women's egos to stratospheric levels. Congratulations on contributing to this problem boys. At least OKcupid was decent 5 years ago, but especially after the "tinder revolution" very few people are on these sites for a relationship, but for the express purpose of ego masturbation.



A lot of you NEETs start off with the wrong mindset in the first place. If a big titty gamer girl with a fat ass and her own income suddenly dropped into your life, you wouldn't know what to do. So instead of being a dog who chases cars, do this:

Make friends.

Make a shit ton of friends.

Have a crew you only drink with. Have a crew you only game with. Have a crew you only do sporting events and outdoors shit with. Your universe will open up immensely and there will be numerous women youll be able to talk to.

Also, dont whine about not putting in the work while expecting some shit to magically happen.



>Make friends

Not OP, but I've been stuck on this part for a good 8 or 9 years now. Being literally friendless while NEET-hikki appears to be a social death sentence, or at least it seems that way.

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it's around 4 am and i just spotted a giant cockroach on my floor, it was like an inch long or so

smashed it with a shoe till it could no longer walk, but the think is still moving

i put it in my trash bag and figured that that would be the end of it, but the fucking thing is still alive and making noise in there even though it's legs should be broken

i can't just go outside to throw the trash out in the middle of the night, and i can't sleep with this fucker in here

wat do


Smash it to death with your bare knuckles next time. Make sure it's dead. Maybe cut it up.


Everytime you smash a cockroach they lay their eggs in the smashing object. Your shoe now has lots of cockroach eggs. You can't smash them. Throw the fucker out with your shoes and the bin bag lad.

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