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I haven't had real human interaction with other people my age for 3 or 4 years now. I never had strong friendships. I never had a girlfriend. I don't get along with my family whatsoever. I suffer with bad depression and anxiety. I can barely look people in the eye. I have no real skills that can land me a job right now. I can't handle college education. I'd have an anxiety attack in no time. Everyday I think about killing myself or running away from home. But I don't have a car or enough money to travel far. I don't know what to do with myself anymore. I wish I could just run away with a nice girl and start over completely.



How old are you?

Hopefully you're not a wizard yet.



Only 18. Whole life ahead of me and all that jazz.



Why can't you handle college education?

Honestly a lot of the problems that you face, I had going into college but worked through them. Sometimes the hard way, but a lot of times just by making good friends who cared about me.



Too much of a heavy workload. I don't handle stress well.



If you take classes that you enjoy, it won't matter. If you have to major in English or something else you actually enjoy. The work load is very manageable at most public universities, so I would suggest avoiding high-stress private institutions unless you want to die. Do you live in the US?






Then go to a state school. If you still don't think you can handle it, go to a psychiatrist or a therapist. They can give you medication that will ease your stress and tips on how to calm yourself if you ever feel pent up. I have problems with anxiety and get stressed out a lot myself, but I've managed to make it far in university.



I can't really handle depression meds. They make me feel even more empty.



Find the right one. Sometimes they need to be more case-based rather than maintenance drugs. Do your research and try to go into the psychiatry appointment with an open mind. Maybe SSRIs don't work well for you, but there are plenty of types of medications.



Welp, I know every single one of those feels OP, except my "no interaction with my age group period" is now at 9 years. I'm 25 though, I'm basically just what you will end up as if you don't try to turn things around within the next 7 years (albeit I have been working on turning things around for the last 2 years, it's just a lot harder at this age and my progress has been slow).


Yeah I avoid meds too, they are mostly bullshit in my experience. They do far more harm than good, if they even do any good at all. I don't think psychiatrists really know what they're handing out, it's just written in their books so they're blindly following it, at least that's the impression I got from my own psychiatrists.



Psych meds are tricky. Sometimes it takes a long time to find the right one for your neural chemistry. Just be patient anon and keep going to a psychiatrist. Express that your meds aren't working, and if the psychiatrist is resistant to put you on another regimen then dump them and move onto the next psychiatrist.



I don't really have any intention of getting back on meds. I don't believe I've got some sort of fucked up brain chemistry, rather that a long history of inexperience, avoidance, bad habits, and various environmental factors are the reason why I am where I am today. I believe depression and anxiety are the natural responses to situations like I (and I assume OP) are in, and I think external improvements (going outside, being around nature, exposure to social situations, making friends, romantic relationships, having a decent job, good hobbies, having independence, etc) are the best way of bringing about internal improvements (positivity, confidence, mental stability, willpower, etc).

Anti-depression/anxiety meds often just kill any motivating factors to improve yourself, as you become content or indifferent to the problems in your life. Sure, they might numb the depression and anxiety while you're on them until you inevitably build up a tolerance, but they also numb the positive thoughts and feelings, and they don't fix any of the underlying causes, the sources of our problems. So for me, the horrifyingly sober route with no chemical influences is the one I have chosen to follow.



As a 23 year old who was in your position at your age it's paramount you get ahead of this without wasting any time because the more and more behind your peers you get the more and more impossible your situation will feel to escape from. That and the mental health problems (in my case, degraded social skills, difficulty with focus and memory) that come from extended periods of isolation are not something you want to have to deal with and they'll make it even harder for you to escape your situation.

It used to be I could pass for normal, and it was just my awkward and uncomfortable behaviour that made me stand out. Now just the way I look has me catching stares in public and I can barely hold a conversation anymore.

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