No.568
>Be playing vidya as usual
>Suddenly sharp pain builds up in my lower stomach
>Try to get up and the pain gets worse, Fall to the ground I can't even srand
>Despretly crawl to the bathroom and plant ass on the toilet
>After sitting there in pain for what seemed like an eternity, it finally starts
>The largest poop I've ever passed rockets out in just a few seconds
>Look down, it's the size of a giant sausage
>Pain is mostly gone, but it starts again
>A winding unbroken string slightly thinker than spaghetti coils out
>Accompanied by a long high pitched trumpet of flatulence the entire time
>Hands shaking I go to wipe, but its perfectly clear
>Flush, the entire pile somehow goes down without a problem
>Pain is totally gone
>Shuffle back to my room slowly, collapse on bed
>Wake up 2 hours later
Well that was something. Bathroom stories general I suppose.
No.569
I too have fucking fell asleep to the toilet
No.570
No.599
>be me 13 hanging out with some friends
>accidentally shit my pants
>its only a small lump
>put my hand in my pocket and lift up my underwear
>the lump of shit falls out
>can feeling it rolling against my leg as it falls out of my trousers
>nobody suspected a thing
No.600
>eat a fish, it's pretty good
>next day, feel some pressure in the guts, fart
>wait a sec
>WAIT A SEC this wasn't farts at all
>run to the toilet
>take off everything, underwear stained BRIGHT ORANGE
>whatever, only thing I can think of now is taking a massive dump
>start shitting, to my surprise I don't even need to put in any effort, the turd slides out on its own with unbelievable speed and smoothness
>shit some more, look into the bowl
>THE FUCK IS GOING ON
>the turd is there alright but the toilet is full of bright orange oil, floating on the water surface
>this doesn't look right, it ain't natural
>look for possible causes of oil shit on the internet
>everything is related to failure of internal organs and inability to process fats
>scared like a motherfucker, pants packed full of toilet paper due to constant oil-farts
>on the verge of despair finally find the cause
It was that fucking fish. The goddamn thing has some kind of wax instead of normal fat, it's indigestible and comes out as oil. The worst thing is, it's a perfect lubricant so you won't eve feel when you shit yourself. For the next 2 days I was shitting oil.
The fish is called escolar, try it if you want to experience a sudden weird diarrhea. It's considered toxic in Italy and Japan but isn't really poisonous.
No.601
>>600That's fucking terrifying man
No.604
>>600How did you end up eating this fish?
No.605
>>604It's commercially sold. It looked nice, tasted pretty good too.
No.606
>>605Google searched the fish you're talking about; all the results are warnings of how dangerous the fish is…
From risk of shitting yourself.
http://www.thekitchn.com/use-caution-when-eating-escola-66602