>>112519
More like being unable to filter out their emotional background noise, all their little signs and tells or at least thats how it is for me.
I am all okay with letting 1-2 bros even more so girls that I have a wish for, natch get close to me and get to know them well. Wouldn't have much problem to do it with 1-2 other people on the next day either.
But it always ends up with them dragging me into some mass event circus full of their associates, friends and family and I can neither bring myself to keep my attention on so many people, nor am I capable of fully ignoring what I perceive from them.
Alcohol helps it for a while, since it numbs me enough to ignore the random people. But trying to keep my level of intoxication just right to endure the people and still be sober enough to stay around is difficult. Besides when acting under influence I can't give any shit emotionally or form any bond with people, I seriously forget even their names 2 minutes after meeting them.
Also, if I would try to do that shit often enough to satisfy the #yolo partygirls, I would soon end up alcoholic.
Caught between all that I just GTFO and don't look back whenever people try to be 'nice' and get me to 'socialize more', because it honestly feels to me like someone wants to chain me to the biggest damn loudspeakers on planet earth, crank sound up to 10, and then feel confused and insulted that I do not enjoy that fucking torture at all.