/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

>>112119

I feel you mate. Don't have a great relationship with my parents neither, and gym didn't help my confidence when I just started. You have to put yourself in more social situations. Get out of your comfort zone, try having friends that go out a lot or meet a lot of new people everyday and stick to them. Try going into new circles of people. With enough practice you'll overcome your insecurities

I gained confidence and defeated my social anxiety.

It helped nothing.

I definitely know that sense of embarrassment. Had it even when a I was a little kid.

It kind of applied to everyone and not just my parents, but the sense of shame was stronger in regards to them. The strongest embarrassment was the idea of the girls themselves knowing my feelings.

I don't know where it comes from.

I still feel awkward about this. It's not likely I will ever have a girlfriend anyway, but the prospect of having to introduce her to my family, or meet hers is one of the most worrying things about the whole idea.

>>112119

not your blog.

get the fuck out.

thanks.

good bye.

Still got that embarrassment now, OP, as 27 year old.

On a physical level, I had a great upbringing. I had plenty of food, access to sports, no violence at home and all that.

But at an emotional level, my mother dominated. So the whole "everyone is equal"-shit is really what is manifesting itself.You see, if you assume every person is worth "1" and their value decrease based on actions and choices to a lowest of "0". If you could quantify every individual that is. That means, everyone who is not me, is by default "1", and thus better, since I have done shit (nothing bad or anything) to lower my value.

Heck, I even got the option to raise myself. Like asking a fucking 8 year old if he would rather have broccoli for dinner, or candy, then shame the fuck out of him 8 years older when fat as fuck. Parents are not your friends, they are your parents. Recipe for broken child I guess.

So naturally, growing thinking everyone else knows better and is better in every way takes a toll on you when it comes to trying to be independent.

So here I am , broken, and the only "joy" I have is knowing that my parents will probably never have grand-children.

And talking about myself is fucking embarrassing. I don't have any huge prospects, or anything to really brag about. And even if I did, the focus would be on what I have shit at.

So if I was a successful investor, the talk would be about finishing education, to be fit, to get a better apartment or anything else.

There's always something that can be improved, and if you look contempt in your situation, that means by default you are happy with less - and what would people think of you then..?

I foresee that when I get independent with my own apartment and shit, I will probably cut contact and the only interactions will be a few hours at Christmas. I don't need to be constantly reminded how much of a failure I am.

Heavens forbid I point out how I feel about this, because that is not a fucking valid reason. A valid reason is to not be what they say I am. So they saying I am out of shape or whatever, the only solution is when they consider me to not be out of shape. If I am fit but fat, that wont matter (I'm not though), it's all about how they can present me it seems.

>Oh, my son is a plumber.. But he's happy

That's fucking not good enough for them, I have to have huge dreams and ambitions. In this bizarro-world where every part of society hates an intelligent young white male.

Sorry for incoherence.

A lot of things happened to me that didn't help me, but on your original question, OP, I actually got a girlfriend. For a week, since my parents freaked out and shit. Grounded and couldn't do shit for months. Really messed me up, and it seemed to take me out of making decisions for myself.

>lol no, you can't have a girlfriend just because you want to

>we're your parents, etc.

It put me in a weird spot and fucked with my head.

>>112231

Thanks brother

>>112321

This one speaks to me. I was very stunted emotionally and was very immature for my age.

Now that I've thought about it for a while the embarassment was as if my parents had told me: "dont grow up!" and when I started actually growing up; doing grown up things or thinking grown up thoughts, I was embarrassed for myself because I wasnt supposed to be doing that, so perhaps half and half of not wanting to get in trouble and not wanting to disappoint. Also remember my parents didn't hand down a shred of advice or life lessons. It was almost as like perhaps I was waiting for them to give me permission. "Maybe if they give me a talk about puberty or the birds and the bees, it will be my green light".

One other story I remember is when I went to the movies with some friends (I was probably 13-14 at the time). I had to lie about what movie I was going to watch because it was PG-13 and I knew my mom wouldn't let me watch it. Of course she didn't trust me at all and found out after I had left that the movie I said I was going to watch wasn't actually showing that day.

>>112119

I see where you're coming from OP. When I was in high school people would try to invite me to social gatherings every so often, but I always declined because I was scared to ask my parents to drive me there. My mom ignored me at all times and reacted with hostility when I tried to get her attention. My dad had chewed my fucking head off on a weekly basis when I was eleven for making social fuck ups. He stopped being like that by the time I was in high school, but I was still leery about talking to him, and I was terrified of risking a social fuck up. I guess it's just a recipe for a kid who's scared to try new social interactions, and an adult who can't carry out social interactions successfully due to a lack of practice.

>>112119

>cleaning your asshole in the shower

Nice meme, retard. That's what toilet paper is for.

I just remember we were making collages of stuff we wanted in 4th grade sped school and thought it was weird that kids were cutting out lingerie models from newspaper ads. Generally due to "muh higher intellect" I didn't want to be seen or thought of as a pervert so I guess I repressed a lot. I didn't even whack it till I turned 15! Can't make this shit up.

>>112119

>Did anyone else here NOT get a gf when it was possible because you thought your parents wouldn't like it?

I didn't, although I couldn't get one anyway. I remember that was always my excuse when telling internet friends (my only friends) why I didn't have a girlfriend. For me I think the reason for this was because my parents told me they wanted my sisters and I to "wait for the one" but I think it was mostly aimed towards my sisters.

>they didn't really care about teaching life lessons either.

Same, I had to learn a lot of things just over time. I didn't even know you were supposed to leave conditioner in your hair before washing it off until recently. My parents also never enforced brushing teeth or anything like that.

>>112838

Also I always cringed when anything feeling related came up and I think it extended to my schoolwork to the point I cringed too much to write answers/papers because I hated seeing my own thoughts and feelings

>>112400

iktf

I had a blanket with toys and shit on it up until I was 16 because when I tried getting rid of it my mother mocked me for growing up, which she always did. I even had to keep claling her "mommy" because of this kind of shit. Once I tried to call her mom and my father dad but my little sister said "what, you call her mom now?" and it made me go back into my little cuck shell of an over-lasting childhood.

>>112119

Not really, but I feel for you at least.

When it came to girls growing up I think I thought I wasn't interested in sex, but in hindsight I just really didn't like any girls I've ever met in my life on a personal level. At all.

Were there girls interested in me growing up? I dunno, probably. It's just that after years of anxiety and being a nervous wreck around people I've come to realize that most people are just fucking trash you're better off not bothering engaging.

Like what >>112140 said.

all of your shitty fucking parents need to die, they are currently filling positions that people with brains are trying to get. faggots

>>112578

>>112814

why bother with wiping? why bother with showering?

>>112986

to not smell like shit?

>>112119

Yea, back in Sophmore year of Highschool, they thought she was too young. Kinda went well though, she went insane and went full roastie. Also quick question, is it weird that I don't want to date a girl who's given a blowjob?

>>112119

Yea, back in Sophmore year of Highschool, they thought she was too young. Kinda went well though, she went insane and went full roastie. Also quick question, is it weird that I don't want to date a girl who's given a blowjob?

YOU'RE A FLOOD KIKEWHEELZ

>>112986

>why bother with wiping?

Because the anus gets sticky and glues to the panties

>why bother with showering?

because everything gets sticky and glues to everything else

Now my question is:

>why bother doing both on the same spot (anus)?

?

>>113055

then go smell like shit you pathetic faggot

i'll be in my basement smelling patrician tier while you're walking around like a peasant

>>113158

>implying we even had an argument

I said you go ahead and smell like shit while I'm smelling like a patrician you fucking frog posting pleb

now do it

>>113195

JUST DO IT

>But you still haven't answered my questions.

As a response I told you people do it so they don't smell like shit, I didn't ignore your questions you retard.

>>112814

>You are? Why?

OP HERE

I always smelt like shit because wiping never gets everything. Wiping ur ass in the shower with a cloth or whatever means you dont smell like shit. I must have smelt like shit all through HS and never realized. Parents didn't care enough to tell me I stunk.

>>113327

Ok, in that case it makes sense. I never felt like I smelled like shit after taking a shit and wiping with tp. Maybe it as something to do with the kinds of shit? The problem should be in the diet then. With more consistent shits sometimes it is barely needed to clean with tp.

Showering would make sense if you diarrhea all the time.

I also started shaving my anus since a few years ago because part of what is retained hides in the hair.

>>113403

but it won't work

oh it is working alright

>>113418

It might make you feel unpleasant to other people (whitch many of us care about) or uncomfortable with yourself.

>>113667

Replying to the wrong post I assume.

>>113697

the "nice meme friend" was directed to the right guy, Somehow it didn't work when I tried to reply to the frogposter

>>113716

>was directed to the right guy

But I didn't use any meme (at least that I know of) and I'm not the frog poster. I don't understand. Why must you be so confusing, anon-kun?

>>113737

It's a very nice meme

>>112119

I've thought about this a lot personally, through a lot of isolated introspection.

To this day, at age 25, I find it absolutely impossible to outwardly show any sort of attractive intimacy to women at any level above "cute". I can do so in my mind fine, obviously, but when it comes to talking about it - I avoid answering in odd ways, to the point where it's natural for me to do so.

The reason this is, I believe, is that I feel I was humiliated by my immediate family very VERY young whenever I mentioned girls. I'm the youngest of my family, and the only boy other than my father, for one (probably has a lot to do with it). I remember being extremely social in Kindergarten, first grade, etc…I'd just make a friend with a girl, and talk about it at home, but the reaction from my family was overenthusiastic taunting, shit like "AWWWWWWWW TALKING TO GIIIIRRRLLLLLSSS HAHAHAHAHAHA". It got to a point where I'd never mention it. Went all through school without a gf until Senior year, but at that point it was impossible to connect intimately. Tried dating once more a few years later but the damage was done (plus she was a megaslut, 16 dicks before me, junkie then went off and cheated).

Because of this, it's impossible to make friends with guys, to be honest. No "bro" friends at all; hell, no friends at all currently. Oddly I can get along with women totally fine up until they hit on me, stare, etc. Basically I freeze and become literally autistic. Again, an intimacy issue. Furthermore, I question my ability to feel a humanly love with someone else. Don't think I've actually experienced that.

Feel like it's a bigger issue than just dating. Fucks everything up altogether.

>>114479

This is OP here.

>Oddly I can get along with women totally fine up until they hit on me, stare, etc. Basically I freeze and become literally autistic. Again, an intimacy issue. Furthermore, I question my ability to feel a humanly love with someone else. Don't think I've actually experienced that.

This is absolutely spot on for me…as soon as I can tell a girl is showing interest, I completely shut down, and it turns into the awkward olympics.

My parents never showed physical (lets call it intimacy) publicly. I never once saw them hug, kiss, hold hands, compliment each other, etc in front of me or my siblings. I do know they loved each other though, and certainly were having sex, or at least I realized that only when I was old enough, but the damage had been done by then.

Is this the same for you?