/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

mates before dates.

bros before hoes.

>>112992

But I know for a fact that Danny DeVito won't follow that doctrine, this guy won't stay loyal to his fellow robot.

So that is why I must find some way to out do him.

>>112994

Dastardly, I like it. What do you have in mind?

>>112996

I literally have no idea on how to court a girl, especially one that normally stays silent, wears quite a blank expression and has another sperg lusting after her.

>>113003

Go for it Arcanine. Life is merciless and the universe is indifferent. If you think you have a shot, do not hesitate. Just remember to always seem the better man in dealing with Rodger, and keep a straight face through it.

Steal your happiness from the world if you must, for that world will never willing surrender anything good to you. Godspeed.

>>113003

Usually you court spergettes by doing things they like together, and if you like them too all the better. The main point is to create an emotional connection, unlike regular ones. Make her feel at ease, in good company, and obviously desired, but don't go all out from the start. Exercise care but make your intentions clear.

Become unstoppable

You must pursue her and win. Straight fucking up, make a better life for yourself anon. If she really scores that high for you, do it.

But, you should pull your friend up as well. If you score the girl (I hope you do), you should help him find another girl. Succeed and bring him to the same level.

Shy and introverted girls are not the girls I'm most experienced with, but I think most things still apply. Do the following to avoid common beta sperg mistakes that can cost you the girl: You should probably do some nerdy activity one-on-one. Try avoiding getting serious early. Touch her but do not do it excessively. Communicate, be light, funny and relaxing to be around. See her often but do keep some space between you and her. It hurts, but you must.

>>113010

What are the common beta sperg mistakes that can cost the girl?

>>113012

Behaving like your perceived image of the ideal Chad is a huge mistake

>>113012

From firsthand experience (I've done all more than once so I know how what I'm talking about):

>most relevant for robots: frequent (text) messaging, immediately reading and responding. Typing very long texts. Keep them as short as possible. emoji usage doesn't matter

>not moving forward fast enough. Don't waste time but don't rush. Get over your spaghetti and just fucking set up dates.

>not touching the girl. In the case of a beta or shy girl do it less, but you have to make sure you at least touch her in a way friends do. Hugs, high fives, etc is pretty good. If you don't touch the girl it will be awkward and you will fuck up when you try to make a move.

>another big one for robots: for fuck's sake, do not sell yourself out and try to be someone you are not. By this I mean do not copy tactics and lines that you would not personally say or do. Do not do this ESPECIALLY if you've already started talking to the girl. Rephrase and change it to suit yourself if you really want to try something. Most girls will often pick up the attempts to change yourself.

>don't get serious fast. Most robots tend to discuss emotional stuff and our sad backstories pretty fast. Don't do that. Keep it light initially, then move to deeper stuff.

One thing you should note is that if the girl ends up liking you, you can break some of these rules and get away with it. Just don't do it all the time, even if she likes you. Staying conscious of these things is how I got good fairly fast. Finally, try not to doubt or question yourself. It sounds retarded, but you must do it. Once you make a decision or move, stay with it.

>>113012

Don't act desperate. Act like incorporating her into your life is more of a benefit to her than it is to you. Come up with fun things to do that give you a chance to have extensive bodily contact and kiss when the moment is right. Don't rush it because again, she's the one that wants you, get it?

>>113013

>>113016

>>113018

Right, now I know what to do in terms of actually flirting with the girl.

But how do I actually start talking to her in the first place without coming off as a creepy sperg, if I was a girl, I wouldn't feel comfortable about a guy who wants to talk or play a game of chess out of the blue.

I don't know how to properly talk to girls normally, how do I do it while coming off normally?

>>113020

This may sound retarded or nonsensical (again), but this is what you do:

>don't think at all while you're interacting with her- if you think you will become tryhard (because you'll try coming up with stuff to push her buttons the whole time), and fuck up

>don't try and brag or prove yourself

>don't compliment

>try to be happy/positive while you talk

>don't rely on questions to move the conversation forward, use a statement or two

You don't need magic lines or anything of the sort. All you need is an outline, at most (introduce->joke->question about hobbies->ask on date->number). Introducing yourself as: "hey, im anon" with a handshake will suffice. Keep it very light and humorous at the start, then start slowing that down. After that, ask her about her hobbies, if she likes something you like, invite her. If not, either express interest in trying what she does or invite her to something you like. Don't phrase it as a date, or even imply it's a date. Get her number at the end, after you've scheduled something. Don't waste too much time chatting.

But, do keep in mind this girl may be extremely shy. So make sure you pay attention to how she acts so you can alter how you come across as needed. If she is very shy, tone down the jokes and take more time, and touch less. But still try to get everything done in 1 session.

>>112990

a weird tip that's helped people I know and me in the past is to just speak your mind. You know that wall in your mind that blocks you from just saying the first thing that comes into your head all the time? Turn that off, it's better to say something dumb than nothing at all if you're at least keeping the conversation going. Just try not to sperg out too hard straight away

>>113020

Jus b urself :^)

>>113045

"Boy, I sure hate Jews"

>>113137

>would it be a good idea to say that I have a crush on the girl in question to them, as apparently I have made such an impression that some of them are attracted to me, I must be of some worth.

>new guy comes to our group of friends

>is already trying to fuck the woman in the group

That's going to turn them against you anon, or at least get them thinking of ways to fuck with the outsider.

Focus on the qt woman that you want, exert social influence over the others in the room but don't rely on them.

>>113137

Sounds like the honeymoon phase of your grand idea is over, and now reality strikes. What's so hard about it? Hell, one anon mentioned you don't even have to think to talk to one.

You yourself said she's shy, but she initated talking to you once. Don't act like it's going to be a mission to talk to her or do it again. She'll warm up if you initiate conversation.

You must swallow your pride and do it the hard way. >>113138 is right in the sense that you should be wary of using middlemen, no matter how immature they are. If they seem to like you, then they should allow you to chat with her one-on-one and not interrupt, so take advantage of that and move things forward. When do you see her again?

>>113141

Tomorrow for about 15 minutes in the morning, at our normal free period where you can do whatever you want, I have to re-do an examination I failed, or risk fucking up the whole course.

I need to find one way about decisively talking to her without triggering Danny DeVito.

>>113144

You must talk to her tomorrow then.

I should also tell you that it's a losing strategy to try and avoid upsetting your friend. Don't fuck up your chances because you want to please him. I'm gonna assume he's somewhat beta so any contact you make with her will upset him or make him jealous, so you may as well just go in 100%. It won't matter because since he likes her any attempt of you to talk to her may be interpreted as a threat. I may be wrong, but this is the most likely situation.

>>113147

Yea, I don't give a shit about that, I just don't want him creating a scene, years of being a robot has rendered me ruthless.

But what should I talk about?

>>113148

Anything you can make light conversation of/jokes of. Class, teachers, class topics. Something lighthearted and something that ypu can make funny jokes out of. Don't aim to be serious, aim to be positive, funny, and cool to be around. That is what will put your foot in the door and allow you to move forward. Your goal should be to get a number as fast as possible if you want to avoid a scene (and avoid worrying or panicking), and it's just generally good practice to play fast.

Ideally you would do something like this:

>make a short joke or observation directed to her, wait for her reply, make sure you're loud enough to hear and make sure you grab her attention

>comment on her reply

>"I don't think we ever introduced ourselves properly, I'm anon" shake her hand

>make some more lighthearted jokes, talk about class topics maybe, don't brag or try to prove yourself to her

>switch to discussing hobbies, ask what she does

>if you have a similar hobby, say it would be cool to do it with her at some point

>then ask for her number, say "I may be doing that activity with some friends soon"

In the case you do not share a hobby, your friend sees what's happening and looks rustled, or you get nervous whole talking and are in danger of sperging out:

>say you want to go catch up with your other friends/study last minute

>say you'd like to continue the conversation

>ask for her number

>leave, text later

This should not be longer than 15 minutes. Aim for less time, if she's very open to you initially. If she's shy and reserved, take more time. But get it done in that 15 minutes you have. Try to phrase the terms I use in your own words. Getting a number is really good since texting is the only place where you can copy other people's stuff and it will work, so look forward to getting it.

>>113152

What if she stays shy throughout the whole thing and I don't think she would be ready to give me her number straight away?

I live in Britbongistan, giving each other our phone number over here isn't an easy thing to do.

>>113010

Fuck off normalfag and take your shity normalfag advice with you

u and danny get off your lazy asses, go to the girl and say "we both like you. Now you get to a date with the two of us before we end up in a mortal duel among ourselves- unless you are insisting on the duel of course"

>>113157

>exchanging phone numbers is hard

Sounds like you're trying to make excuses or make things harder for yourself. Try not to play worst case scenario otherwise your mentality will sabotage you.

If you don't play fast you will likely lose (ie friendzone). That said I don't know how shy she is so you will have to use your own judgment and adjust your pace accordingly.

If, when you talk to her, you find that she is really, really shy, then just do your best to get her to open up, and don't be serious or discuss more serious topics. If it really seems that hard to accomplish (getting number), talk to her IRL a second time, for longer, and then try. But do not delay it because of fear.

If she has something like an active steam or facebook (if you have one also), that would be a really good thing to get for setting up an initial date. But try for the number, these are just backups. Don't rapidly ask her what accounts she has, either.

>>113341

He's probably fucking you over for a chance with her. Either:

>ignore your pride and find a better girl

>just get her number when he's not around

The longer you wait the smaller your chances. Considering your friend is trying to play you, you really need that number so you can set up a date without him knowing. If you really are becoming beta/stuck, consider asking a friend for her number and just have an excuse ready for why you got it.

>>114817

As someone who has went for it and fucked up and has felt basically dead ever since- go for it. We'll be here for you if it doesn't work out.

Kikewheels let me post

>>115857

You got this bro, keep going.

>>115857

Make it a running joke. Anon the politician.

"Remember to vote for me. Anon 2016." Firm handshake, etc.

Learn from Trump.

>>116098

It probably was not in line with how you usually act when you talk to her and came off as rehearsed/fake. If you're not naturally funny and upbeat around her, don't try a little dialogue or silly speech because she'll think you're a poser trying too hard to be funny. Do the political thing as you would want it to be done. Also, if you're going to make a running joke, make sure you include her as well. That is key- making a speech doesn't really engage her to play along. Do something that requires involvement on her part- president and first lady, you divorced her and you need alimony, stupid stuff like that. Come up with your own example. It doesn't have to be related to politics, either.

Is she throwing a party? If so, you'll have to get her something. I want to make it clear that you're getting her something out of politeness, not because you're trying to impress her. Gifts are usually a death sentence for the friendzone. Jewelry/bracelets can be very cheap if you know where to look.

If she isn't throwing a party, just wish her a happy birthday and if you remember some food she likes or something, get her that. You haven't known her long, so don't go overboard and think you have to get her a gift. If you try to be too cheap or too expensive, she'll see right through that. Get something emotionally relevant to her. Your best bet is to figure out what she likes/things she liked from her childhood and go from there. Food is a good one to find out about. Try not to make it obvious if you need to ask. You can just say you were playing something/watching something or doing something related to your childhood and lead the conversation from there.

Is she open or is she closed (i.e. does she open up easily)? Depending on how she is, you may want to hold off on deeper conversation.

>>116098

The politician thing is supposed to be an in-joke between you and her. Why did you involve De Vito?

>>116133

He was a part of it originally, though I can go down the secretary path with her and leave the trash man out of that.

But before I do that, I need to know how to flirt with a very introverted individual, one thing I picked up on is her unwillingness to smile, only very quickly and subtly.

>>116098

give her the DICK

>>116146

That's far down the roadmap, but an objective none the less.

Could I also take advantage of DeVito's overbearingness and play it to my advantage by taking her to one side and asking if I make her feel uncomfortable, as I know DeVito has with his intrusiveness?

>>116366

What do you actually know about her interests?

>>116370

She likes books.

>>116371

Go for something cute and stupid, if anything. in4b mao bible and Mein Kampf

Too bad I can't remember the name of that collection of letters between famous authors.

It was basically patrician-tier shitposting and banter.

>>116402

I depart in about an hour, any last-minute suggestions for me?

Wish me luck.

FIELD REPORT

Things are going pretty well, but she is still extremely shy, she smiled well at my announcement of "Happy Birthday" and is becoming increasingly receptive to my questions and smiles.

I put my arm around her and DeVito as a friendly gesture and she backed away from it slowly, I played it off well though with DeVito to prevent it getting awkward.

I have a longer period with her in the afternoon, wat do?

>>116807

Better focus on hobbies that you know.

Do you know vidya more than books? Do you know of a puzzle game for two players that she might be interested in? Or you could play board games too.

Could you writefag? This is long term but maybe you could write an adventure story with her as your "muse".

I'm a shy person myself. Compliments work, but we balk at too much attention on us.

>>116807

Don't waste more time- do something with her. Videogames are good. You can always make an inside joke that you secretly like cute games and nobody must know.

Some good cute games follow. Lovely Planet (though this is fucking hard- she may not like it, but it will preserve your honor because of the difficulty), Harmful Park (may be lewd in some areas, be careful), Chibi Robo (use an emulator).

Given that she's "distant or unsure", consider telling her something about yourself. Not a deep dark secret, or any secret, just something quirky. Maybe you secretly like pop music, or you're addicted to collecting achievements, something lighthearted (but a little odd) like that. But your delivery must be sincere. I don't know how she is, but in most cases, it puts girls more at ease.

>>116807

holy shit this sounds like way more trouble than it's worth. if she's still not interested/playing hard to get, she'll leave soon after even if you get her

>>117008

>I could then ask for her PSN ID, giving me a new method of communication.

Either get her phone number or play with her IRL. If you wanted to do something like show off your platinum trophy collection, add her, but getting PSN ID does not bring you closer to your goal of dating by any means. You're better off setting up a date (but obviously you won't call it a date). PSN is a distraction. Wait, do you have her number yet? It would make setting one up a lot easier.

>perhaps tomorrow I could apologize for my overinsistence of asking questions, and finally ask her if she would like to know anything about me.

Not a good idea. Don't ask so much questions without revealing stuff about yourself. Please also do not apologize for asking questions. Just silently decrease the amount of stuff you ask. You don't need a reason to tell people about yourself, at all. You can say things in a joking manner like "I don't usually tell people this but I like animal crossing", or if you wanted to say something general, say "I was doing xyz once I got home, I missed doing it/learning about it". If she thinks you're cool, she'll be willing to invest more into talking, even if you just throw a statement out. Don't just ask about her, show yourself. Again, talk about yourself so she feels more at ease. Saying " what do you wanna know about me" is not going to have the same effect as you just straight up talking about yourself. Don't ask what she wants to know, just talk about yourself.

>>116994

Compliments work with shy people the same way these work with any other people. Compliments make me feel good, put me at ease (icebreaker), etc. Remember, compliments (based on true observable things, others will agree with you about that person) not flattery (based on falsehood, sets off bullshit detector and cynic mode).

Another thing that will set off the bullshit detector is too much attention especially during supposedly casual encounters. Ask me too much about personal stuff and I'd think, are you the NSA, why do you want to know this? A sure sign I'm thinking this is if I refuse to answer. I'll also be uncomfortable if all your senses are still on me for longer than necessary like a CCTV camera.

I mentioned, casual encounters, so these may no longer be applicable if we are in a one on one. Just the two of us. Of course in this case I understand that our attention is on each other. In fact, I prefer this mode of interaction over meetings, parties, or generally speaking to a crowd. I'm at ease if I interact with as few people as possible. This may also apply to her as well so you better arrange this situation the soonest.

No more update? Did OP crash and burn?

>But one of his friends is a 9/10 qt 3.14

>friends

>girl

>qt 3.14

GET THE FUCK OUT, FAILED NORMALSCUM BETA ORBITER MANLET!!!!

>>117638

>he thinks being a beta orbiter means his in with a 9/10

l

m

f

a

o

tbh fam