/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

I'm bored so I will spoon-feed you.

>What do I eat?

That's sort of an arbitrary question. If you keep things within your macros, you should still lose weight. But there are things that are better for you of course. Wheat bread is better than white and all that good stuff. Keep it within your calories and you should be fine.

>How much?

Again, track your calories. If you have a smart phone, there are a few apps that will help.

>What exercises do I do?

Depends on what is available. Are you going to a gym? You really can't go wrong with Strong Lifts with accessory lifts.

>How many reps?

Depends on your program. Can't go wrong with 5x5(5 sets of 5 reps). Get some cardio in as well.

>How often do I work out?

3-5 times a week is a good number.

As for a spotter, you don't need one if you're not a retard. If you know you might not get the next rep, dont. Simple as that. Save it for another day.

>>113261

>macros

the fuck is a macro?

>Get some cardio in as well

what if i dont want to do that?

>>113263

You can imagine a macro in a few categories.

>calories

>proteins

>fats

>carbs

When I was cutting I really only paid attention to calories so just try to eat plenty of protein and not too much of the other shit.

>what if i dont want to do that?

Do it.

>>113266

>do it

Cardio is legit painful misery though

>>113267

It really is but you really should. There are other forms of cardio you can do. I personally do Muay Thai and Sambo which has done wonders for my endurance. Why not swim or something?

>>113269

i dont know how to swim

>>113270

Nevertheless, you don't have to run for your cardio.

Not making fun or anything, but how do you not know how to swim? I think the average age an American learns to swim is 5-6 years old. What gives?

>>113273

i tried to learn four times, i couldnt get the hang of it

>>113248

>Do I really need to know all of this just to be able to workout? Look at this shit. Am I reading a fucking book here?

>Some other friend of mine recommended "Starting Strength" which is over 300 fucking pages.

>300 pages

>long

Whoa, working out takes time? Who would have thought. Whatever, just go back to your 2d waifu because that requires no effort.

>I want to stop being skelly and get a body that can do parkour, cycling, and other things I've been getting into.

Then go do those things, you're going to gain muscle lifting yourself up and cycling. Fuck man, basic workouts for building muscle aren't hard to find. Sign up at a gym and pay for a training session or two with a trainer, they'll show you what you need to do.

>>113248

> someone simplify this for me

Nah, just kill yourself. Nothing of value will be lost.

>>113248

Not sure if this works for everyone, but for me, I eat a huge meal, like a whole pizza, and fries and all that shit, chug down a litre of water, then go ride my bike across my city for hours on end.