/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

Have a good wank. A good one, like a minimum of thirty minutes.

Emotions are a happening. They happen to you. Apologizing for them is as illogical as apologizing for the rising of the morning sun.

Also, why do you have to take responsibility for whatever it is that made you angry? What about the idiot who pissed you off? Do they get a free pass to be an asshole?

>>113440

It's normalfaggot logic, that's their game, they force you to do what they want by trying to make you look stupid for getting mad at them. They then talk about you being crazy when you're not around if they managed to provoke you.

>>113485

When your interactions with people are the constant projection of your (lack of) well-being, seeing someone angry when they are not is irrational to them. How can you be angry, when they are not.

It's lack of empathy. They want to seem empathic - which is every gesture has to be of some grandeur rather then to actually be empathic.

I wish I could get angry. I'm always in control of my emotions. I never get angry. I can get annoyed, but that's about it. Never truly angry.

I was 8 years old too anon

>>113440

>>113485

>>113519

>Do they get a free pass to be an asshole?

>have a hard time dealing with being made fun of, even in casual conversation

>people notice the uneasiness I have at it and enjoy taking the piss out of me

>try my best to keep a lid on it

>eventually the pot boils over and I either try to explain I'm not enjoying it, or that I want them to stop

>"Wow man chill, it's just a joke."

>went my whole life thinking I was just selfish or egotistical and people didn't actually make fun of me that much.

>reading this was literally the first time in my entire life I realized that if my response to certain behaviour is an unpleasant feeling, and people keep doing it for fun, it's not completely my fault for boiling over.

That being said, it's hypocritical to pretend like I don't rib on people too, and I can't really tell if I'm singled out or not due to perspective bias.

But, at the same time it really feels like people do enjoy watching me get irritated because I'm genuinely pretty god damned crazy.

>>113519

>I wish I could get angry. I'm always in control of my emotions. I never get angry. I can get annoyed, but that's about it. Never truly angry.

>get told your whole life to "man up" etc.

>faggots creeped out when you don't cry at your mother's funeral

Make your minds up normalfags. If I am to cry I'll do it in private because I don't expect you to even give me one day of rest on my mother's funeral. Also, it hurts my head and won't bring her back so I just won't.

>>113680

Once people discover one vulnerability, they use it because it enables them to control you.

Most people don't do it consciously, it's more like an impulse. Kids do it a lot and explicitly.

I coped by pretending to care about it and suddenly act totally uninterested to the very same provocation, or shifting the attention "so, doing that makes you feel good? interesting".

>>113755

>actually keep a lid on it for once last night

>they took last night as me being mad

>this night I keep a lid on it and control myself the whole time

>just telling people to suck my dick or something similar when they try to get me riled up

>they actively start trying to provoke me, interjecting to a benign discussion with accusations and seem pretty much desperate for me losing my shit, since I'd done it before in every other instance

>"Nah, I ain't mad bro."

>they're still saying shit like "HERE COMES THE SHITSTORM" cause I disagreed

>"Nah."

>not even mad.

>one of them accuses me of starting shit tonight

>he gets called out for being the one who's been primarily trying to goad me into losing my shit tonight

>immediately goes "NEW TOPIC GUYS" and they all start blitzing into shitpostery

>Chat about it to the one group of people I've met in my life, online or off, expressing my confusion at it.

>mention how they just dropped it when they got called out

>"Okay no, Anon. You gotta leave."

>you know what.jpg

>leave

I read that post yesterday and it helped me keep cool, but it's just disappointing how right it is, as well as what I was thinking earlier. Especially how they were visibly desperate for me to lose my shit when they saw I wasn't going to. It really was no different than growing up, with people doing exactly that and I only hung around them because I'm that lonely and have no socializing outlet.

Oh well, it was a huge help to me in many ways talking to those guys, so if one of you is reading this (you probably know who I am given how I sequenced things) I'm not coming back. I'm not mad anymore, it's just you guys are absolutely addicted to taking the piss out of me specifically, and if I'm going to get treated like I'm losing my shit when I'm not in an attempt to provoke me, then sorry but I see no reason to return.

Anger is bad because angry people actually get shit done.

>>114342

I've seen shit you wouldn't believe. I've seen humanity as a single organism, like a mold spreading across the globe, it's thoughts but a pulsation in the void.

And yet it changes nothing. It didn't improve my life or make me a better person.

>>114349

Nobody can make you a better person but you, man.

I don't know your situation, and I can't pretend that I'd understand much even if I did, but you sound like you need to start living for yourself, Anon.

Tell me, what do you like to do?

>>114430

Nowadays, I like playing video games and reading. You could count learning as well. Cooking a bit.

I used to like playing chess, biking and martial arts. No one under the age of 50 seems to know how to play chess properly anymore. I would still love to bike, but I broke the last two bikes I had with a combination of being too heavy yet too strong. A 220 pounds man managing to force a bike up a 30 degrees angle hill for ten minutes every day for months will ravage a bicycle. Now, I feel like I would look like a freak. Never mind that I no longer have the stamina for it. As for martial arts, I can't find any place within a reasonable distance from my home which is open at reasona le times.

Anger isn't merely a legit feel, it is the most legit feel of all. It is the feel which justifies your continued existence as a free individual. Without anger, you're but a mellow puppet at the mercy of others.

>>114331

I'm bitter.

I may sound entitled to some.

I just assumed I was entitled to a proper upbringing and not some of this broken female-shit that made me a broken man, then I am supposed to "man up" and use "common sense" to get my shit together when that was never learned.

And when I fail, that is supposedly my fault for not wanting change.

So yes, I am bitter towards my parents mostly. I don't owe them anything. I despise them - I suppose. I have no mental connection to any of my family, nor myself.

And quite ironically, death is what keeps me alive. Knowing that at any stage, I can (in theory) give up and end myself.

I just want to share a bed with a gf and have a mentor for some physical labor without being heckled and shamed for not doing a proper job. I can be taught to improve my work, but shame and passive-aggressive remarks is not the solution.

>>114331

I'm not sure if your landlord will let you have pets, but you can still have a dog anon.

He'd be fine if you take him for walks. Its a lot of work at first, but even if you have crazy allergies as long as you get a dog that doesn't shed too much you get used to it. .

I have felt like seeing an anger management person for a few years, but then I remind myself that I don't want to to be "that guy" who has been to see a therapist or some shit.

>>113379

People "hate" anger because it's an easy way to mock you and say what you believe in is stupid because you're angry.

That's why it's so common (le butthurt maymay) on the internet.

>Constantly dealing with angry assholes.

>Constantly getting dirty looks as though I raped their dogs

>Constantly on the receiving end of temper tantrums

>Worried about their tantrums turning violent. Recall being beaten by my brother on a regular basis whenever he'd get angry.

>No real choice but to keep quiet, comply with what they want, hope they have a chance to cool down

>otherwise, if I request that they'd just calm down: they would just scream at me "I AM CALM!"

>Me, on the other hand, works on a double standard

>I finally get fed up with being inadequate, weak, impotent, useless, meek, a goddamned doormat and decide to be assertive. Or I just can't fucking put up with everyone's shit and I get mad myself.

>Get responses like "I don't know what's gotten into you but you need to calm down!" or "woah, calm down there, anon!" from the very people who would treat me like a battered housewife.

Anger is clearly overrated ITT. I wish more people would just take deep breaths and count to ten before they gave themselves fucking anal prolapses. If I had my way: people who expressed wrath would be thrown into the lake of fire as sinners of their ilk deserve. I fucking hate being less than a beta.

While I'm at it: I hate it when people talk to me like I'm a stupid sperg with no perspective. I got plenty of perspective. If I criticize somebody for holding bigoted, irrational views: some faggot comes bopping along and tells me "durr hurr, you need to step out of your little [there's that word, it's engineered to push buttons and not just mine] box and realize people are more diverse than you think". Fucking hell, I know that you faggot! Who the fuck do you people think you are?

There's just so much wrong with everybody else. I wish somebody would just kill me. I know they want to. They like to rationalize that it would be a last resort if they can't "fix" me (as if I need fixing when they themselves are the ones who need it) but I know that it would be the first thing they'd do if they weren't constrained by arbitrary codes of morality pioneered through thousands of years of philosophical introspection. And I wish somebody would kill me because my primal instinct to preserve myself is too great to overcome and serves as a hindrance to myself.

I just wish somebody could love and understand me for who I am and not what they want me to be. I keep that desire out of my mind, though, because I'm not willing to do the same for somebody else. I must have really been born wrong to be so pathologically incompatible with other humans. It may be a fitful, restless eternity where I may never know peace but I think it would be best if I were dead so that I would not serve as a hindrance to the human race if every other human is so repulsed and disgusted by me.