So it happened again. My brain has decided wizardry not to be desirable, so it has picked some female to fall for.
Let me tell you about who might become my gf if some kind of divine intervention happens.
She's quiet, has an old Germanic name, laughs and seems to look at me often, laughing if our eyes meet. Big mistake on her part.
Because by doing so she has kicked off an avalanche. I've fallen for her.
Which sucks. Every time that happens (or has happened before), my plane crashes. With no survivors.
Anyway, I've already asked her out (feeling detached from reality does help with anxiety, apparently)
>NORMALFAG
wait. I'm not done yet. She didn't outright reject me, but told me she was busy, even told me what she was busy with.
My brain's dick thinks that's a good sign.
Now comes the bad part. I feel like shit. I feel like absolute and utter dog shit. I see many ways to fail.
>fucking up the de-orbit burn, burn up in the atmosphere, get propelled into an escape orbit or be stuck in a stable orbit
>wrong attitude during descend, burn up or break apart because of aerodynamic forces
>failing to deploy chute
>landing in Soviet territory
All these possible fuckups plague me, images of failures not yet real flicker in front of my eyes, they torment me. I used to feel in charge of my feelings. Now, not so much.
All the fucking internet tells me is "BEE urself xDDD but don't be needy or seem desperate", which is telling a starving man he needs to be less desperate for food.
I hate falling in love.