/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

Something which has worked for you/Got you close

Btw i happen to be a pretty good looking guy. Could easily be mistaken for alpha/fun outgoing person.

>>114014

>>114013

Too bad you're fucking stupid

Ask about her and throw in a few jokes. Done.

>>114013

> ingenious things to say that will make a girl laugh/immediately

I'm a virgin

> standing at the bar

> girl next to you orders a drink

> you say to the bartender who's serving her "add another on there if you can please"

> she looks at you weirdly

> you turn to her and say "you get a free drink and mine comes faster"

> she says something along the lines of "I bet you do that to all the girls"

> you say "only the pretty ones"

And BOOM YOURE IN. I've always thought it would work but probably not

You can copy the behaviors and lines of an alpha male and do them perfectly for a minute, any two bit hack browsing this board can do it and get the girl interested. But then, as soon as you use all the material you have you will fuck up hard and get rejected. You'll start panicking the second you "run out of things to say" and consequently over think and the girl will see you're just a liar.

But let's say you played fluidly and somehow got the number really fast (<5 minutes) without showing your real personality. Let's say you could do this to a few girls. This is what will happen: you will call those numbers, and some of them will not answer, some of them will forget who you are, some will flake on you, and this is assuming you don't fuck yourself over by spilling spaghetti during the phone conversation.

But let's say you land a date. You will now have to behave like an alpha for 30 minutes or more. This is extremely hard if you are not an alpha. You will end up thinking too much, and this is the most likely way you will fuck up. The other way is that the fear of making a move will paralyze you and you will fuck up. The average robot will not try making one. The others will try, but get nervous while doing it which will creep the girl out and get you rejected.

Magic pill mentalites are bullshit and never work (especially this gym=women mentality on here). If you're not willing to put in the work required, you don't deserve to succeed. In fact, with the way dating works, you will not succeed.

Daily reminder that 3DPD is not important.

>>114013

This one always works:

you're a big girl

for me

>>114058

Tell that to my fucking Dad, he wants to dissown me if I dont get a girlfriend, he says that if she is very ugly I can just close my eyes and think she is a "Japanese cartoon", little did he knowns, I hate anime.

>>114051

Yeah, this is kind of what they mean when they tell "just be yourself" because you just cant live a lie for to long, but normies lack ampaty, they think everyone deep inside is like them so "being yourself ( beign like normies)" will always work anyways.

>>114089

Disown*

>>114089

so many dads today are utterly bitch made little feminist faggots.

feeding the beast which is about to starve to death anyway.

>>114091

You missed the point I was trying to make because you're trying to view everything from your view of "wow fuck normies". Anyone can succeed. Results can be copied. I've lived on opposite ends of the spectrum (hard alcoholic robot NEET eventually becoming good with girls and fixing my life). I've also been with people on opposing ends, and there is no real difference between the "average, disillusioned" person and the robot, the robot is just in a significantly worse mentality. Either have a chance of making a better life, it's just mentality that is the main block.

Nobody really is different. Same shit, same mentalities, it's just imaginary borders and shitty assumptions (gym=women, height=women etc) that robots make that prevent them from doing anything to fix themselves..

Hey, baby! How about you come back to my house at R'yleh where I can stick my Necronomicon in your Miskatonic University then you can find out why they call me Lovecraft!

I once had like 12 super hot girlfriends in high school. I'm talking the hottest girls. I didn't have real friends but that didn't matter. Eventually they learned I cheated on them all and they got super pissed. Couldn't get another gf after that, especially one which I ended up wanting. A Lithuanian babe. She went on to become a model. One bitch chased me around with a bottle. Also had girls come on to me. But that's because I happened to look handsome as fuck. I still am but i haven't had a single friend or anything for almost 5 years. I've lived in total loneliness and developed social anxiety and severe depression to the point where I can't even speak to anybody.

Never had friends but I did have luck with females. Even got two BJ's, fingered up and came extremely close to losing my virginity but I lost my erection. Got fun made out of me for months afterwards. It was a threesome with my friends girlfriend. He was an alright friend. Not really a friend but we did stupid and autistic shit together. Mostly played vidya but sometimes went out and did shit.

You have to understand that normies lack the will to uniqueness. They don't have any ability, no faculty in their brain, which stresses the importance of individuality. Just look at girls these days. You can recite poetry, speak about your interests in economics/politics and they'll call you a freak. They breed with stupid guys and so produce stupid children.

You can't express your true personality or your individuality. You have to act like them, speak like them, dress like them and allow yourself to be subjugated to the herd of normalfags or they will simply ostracise you and throw you out, maybe even attack you. They're very hostile towards intelligence.

>>114143

Some things simply go out of style, you insufferable neckbeard. No one likes poetry anymore, it's not the middle ages, it's the current year.

>Hmm I want some ingenious, unique pick-up lines that'll make any girl wet in an instant

>Aha, I know where i'm likely to find them!

>The 8chan /r9k/ board, that one that's filled with handholdless virgins on the autism spectrum whose own mother wouldn't even kiss them

This is actually the process that occurred at some point in OP's head.

>>114089

>i hate anime

Son, I am disappoint.

>>114014

the internet and pua have ruined game. these days if you come up with a scheme that works keep it to yourself. as soon as a few other guys try it and see its effective they will burn it out. in conclusion, just be yourself.

you say you are pretty good looking though so i recommend hitting up clubs where uts too loud to talk. just hand a napkin to a girl to get her number, or your cellphone if you are prepared to tackle her in case she runs off with it.

>>114143

this post gave me a fedora

>>114213

epik meme :DD

>>114158

Is that you, John Oliver?

>>114197

Do you think she'd still want to date me if I cooked her ramen noodles?

Neil Strauss.

Always carry cigarettes and a lighter with you even if you don't smoke. Most women that claim not to be smokers will smoke when they drink. Just leave them on the bar next to your drink. Sooner or later a girl will walk up and ask to bum a smoke. Let her pull one out of the pack, but pick up and light the lighter before she can. When she bends into catch the light look in her eyes and say

>Amazing, when I look into your eyes I think I can make all of my dreams come true.

Now she will either give you a weird look for such a cheesy pick up line or smile. The key here is how you respond to disarm her. I personally prefer to use something along the lines of.

>Especially that one about being wanted in five states for abuse of a corpse.

And you are golden.

>>114297

>carrying around stuff for women just in case they ask for free shit

This is the beta-est shit I've read all week.

if you're in a bar/pub just ask if you can sit next to her. If she lets you then make up some fake story about something sad, like that your dog/cat or something died recently and you're little depressed about that, she will probably say "aww i'm sorry blah blah blah" don't respond to that, just look at your drink and tell some fake moment you had with that thing, that you remember.Then look her in the eyes and hold her hand say "i really aprecciate that you are here, it's really helping me, you're good person" and ask her some personal question like if she's coming here often or something similar.By that time you and her should be little tipsy and then let the alcohol talk for you.

It works for me at least 7/10 times

>>114377

or do the old trick "hey i'm drunk, wanna fuck?"

Awwwwwwwww yeeeeeeeeee! Imma put dem brownies right next to da hot cocoa!

Since I am a NEET I developed many methods to meet women hoping to fuck them. Never applied one of them, but it is much better than pickup line shit.

1. This is a classic but has a twist: model photographer. Now, the problem with people who try to photograph models is that they creep on the models they hire. This is a big mistake, since it is really unprofessional and creepy.

Instead what you have to do is being really professional and serious about everything. Then the models will speak well of you, creating great social proof. If you meet them when you are outside, they will introduce their friends. You can also invite them and their friends to the parties you organize. And they have to respect you, otherwise they will never get a chance to work with a professional like you again.

So, hire models and fuck their friends.

2. Outsourcing the opening: you outsource meeting girls. You see, most girls won't fuck you if you introduce yourself randomly because it is weird and a little creepy. So, what you have to do is hire a guy to meet girls. Then he will introduce them to you, invite the girls to your parties, etc

3. Online dating: you make an online dating site and you spend all the budget to target girls in your area. You put some fake male profiles in it. Then if a real male will try to subscribe, he will be stopped by a unsuspicious error message.

Meanwhile in the web site your profile will be up, and you will match almost perfectly with all the girls. You will also put a public rating system on profiles, and your profile will be highly rated by other girls (all fake, but it doesn't matter)

4. A book publishing company: you will open a book publishing company, and publish only books from females. You will get invited to books presentations and the female authors will introduce you as the head of the publishing company to their female friends.

5. Female magazine: you will open a magazine that targets women. You will hire one or two bitches as regular, and then you will be the boss and fuck all the underpaid (or not-paid) female interns you can find. Even if you don't hire them, you still will be able to meet a lot of female when promising them a job in the magazine.

>>114013

>how do you sell a deaf guy a frog?

>WANNA BUY A FROG?!

>ctrl+f "archaeologist"

>0 results

You guys are never gonna get laid at this rate.

>>114910

I don't know why, but I leld

if I was a grill I'd show you my pristine pink butthole in exchange for that joke

"Excuse me, Miss?" Alternatively "Oh, hey."

*Point at the ground*

"You dropped your smile."

She will smile, and think it's cute despite herself.

You're welcome.

I have got girls that smell your intentions before you turn the street corner to face them.

I have got women who meet the textbook chad, they have the same convos as in the tv series, chad leaves and women say "Yes, cute, but…"

OTOH I have seen the window of opportunity open (and close), so things are possible. You jus gotta be yourself AND stop being yourself when the window is open.

haha benis in the bagina :DDD

that one always gets them

>>114377

>It works for me at least 7/10 times

Post pics of girls you fucked

>>115433

this one fam it's been working for thousands of years

alternately, revert back to Islam, grow a beard and spray a tan on, then you have a license to rape the very SJW that are crying for your "rights"

Do like this guy:

https://vimeo.com/28108681