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/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

Looks like neck beard heaven. It was a little dark.

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imgur.com/QafrHvR IRC IS LOTS OF FUN AND FILLED WITH FUN PEOPLE imgur.com/QafrHvR

File: 1458416523007.png (361.05 KB, 1079x1265, 1079:1265, やれやれだぜ.png)

 No.116806

>masturbation knocks me out like nothing else

>require days to recover from a single orgasm

Anyone else here have the same issue? For some reason, I feel as though this is abnormal.

 No.116824

If you can't cum 6 times a day your entire life then you are no man. Stay away from me, loser.


 No.116869

>>116806

It depends. I've never gotten knocked out by cumming, but I've had really really good nuts that made me want to just relax, chill, and take a nap.

As far as general fap feels, I love cumming. Only problem is disposing of the cum.


 No.116918

File: 1458461459179.jpg (109.01 KB, 1024x682, 512:341, Astral Projection.jpg)

>>116806

One time I nutted so hard that I astral projected into another realm like the little kid did in Insidious. My phantom ejected from my body like pic related and I was able to see my room from a bird's eye view, including my seemingly lifeless body with cum splattered all over my torso and face. Realizing my new abilities, I effortlessly departed my house for the journey of the open sky–though conscious, it was as if I had no free will, sort of like a dream. I then hovered outside for a fair amount of time until I discovered other wandering spirits who were stuck in Earthrealm for some reason. We spoke about the degeneration of modern politics along with our yearning for a third world war. I departed from them abruptly due to the environment changing without my control.

It was if I was in a typhoon; my phantom swirled throughout various places I've been to, ultimately leading me to spawn in the room of Stacy. She was lying in bed on her back, both hands cupped behind her head, facing the ceiling in boredom. Immediately I hovered through her bed and into the sheets to smell her ass. It smelled like literal shit but that's probably because I stuck my nose in her actual bowels and not her butthole. Anyways, I was bored with that and decided to return home.

Turns out that although time seemed to continue normally while as a phantom, 2-3 days must have pasted since my fapping projection. The cum on my body had solidified and fermented into a dark green-purple substance. Once united, I merely lifted the jagged plate of cum from my face, which to my discovery had completely removed my acne and softened my face.


 No.116942

File: 1458479042520.png (2.7 KB, 500x250, 2:1, Oekaki.png)

>>116918

If copypasta 7/10. If OC 9/11.

>>116806

I get pretty tetchy from cumming. If I edge for hours and cum once I have to recover for about one day but w/o edging or if I cum a lot it can take 2-4 days before I feel ok.

Takes waaaaay longer to recover though if I cum every day for weeks.

My advice is; learn to orgasm without ejaculating. It helps me big time, both mentally and with controlling porn habits better.

Google it, and for the kegel stuff you'll get told to do the best guide is found on (dare I say) reddit.

Non-ejaculatory cumming possibly saved my life, it's that helpful (at least for someone like me who was severely depressed and wanked all day, everyday, every damn day.)


 No.116966

File: 1458490882931.jpg (87.46 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, 1451357657256-0.jpg)

>>116918

wew lad

>>116806

I don't get tired from fapping but for 2-3 days after that my dick feels like it got ran over


 No.116984

File: 1458497473088.webm (551 KB, 512x384, 4:3, where do you think.webm)

>>116824

>you are no man


 No.117006

>>116824

Just did the math. If the average amount of ejaculate per orgasm is 4 mL, you would need to produce and release 24 mL of semen every day. That's 8.76 L per year. Average life span is around 75 years old, so over 75 years that would be 657 L of semen.

Reminder that this is what your average Stacy expects. If you cannot fulfil these requirements, you are a lost cause.


 No.117066

>ordering lube from Amazon

>can only imagine the chuckles warehouse employees get when doing this dozens of times per day


 No.117170

>>117066 (checked)

>buying dildo from Amazon

Kek, we're totally sending this to a dude!

If it makes you feel any better, they're probably fellow NEETs


 No.117173

File: 1458552726590.png (568.02 KB, 540x767, 540:767, 1449428643731.png)

>>117170

>amazon employees

>NEETs

Anon, are you retarded?


 No.117177

>>117173

ok, Chads? yes


 No.117182

File: 1458557493221.jpg (171 KB, 640x960, 2:3, shinku pleased.jpg)

>>117006

>657l

That is more than three bathtubs filled to the brim with semen.


 No.117192

>>116869

I feel like I'm the only person that just lets the cum stay in his pants after fapping. I don't really see the point in cleaning up.


 No.117213

>>117192

I'm starting to do that a little more, putting my socks back on after I've used them


 No.117241

>>116918

Basically this, but every night. The wizardry is real, and the power of my sexual energy is beyond compare.


 No.117255

>>117192

I've always left it there too. I used to bend backwards and blow near my pelvic area, so that cleanup only meant showering later to wash off the encrusted semen.


 No.117257

Masturbation actually wakes me up in the mornings.


 No.117301

>>117257

I've done that on the weekends, but I'm too tired to fap on weekday mornings. I try rubbing my penis and I feel nothing.


 No.117318

>>117192

Jesus Christ you're digusting


 No.117333

>>117192

Fuck yes. I love to do this. It's not my biggest fetish, but I can't get off nearly as well if I cum in anything but my pants.

It's even how I tuck myself in to sleep at night.


 No.117349

File: 1458630007172.jpg (87.32 KB, 500x737, 500:737, bn70fczr.jpg)

ITT: Overweight retards that live completely sedentary lifestyles (you do not care about your health or physical conditioning) who watch anime and play video games all day complain that their failing bodies aren't functioning normally.

Have you tried going outside and jogging, running, or cycling? You don't want to exercise? Then just kill yourself you fucking adult milk drinker. Why even live?




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