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/r9k/ - ROBOT∞

NORMALNIGGERS OUT
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December 2018 - 8chan Transparency Report
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File: 828d2453eebc0cf⋯.jpg (92.94 KB, 960x720, 4:3, Success.jpg)

 No.295802

Feels that don't deserve their own thread.

For when the other thread inevitably hits the bump limit. Yay complaining.

 No.295804

Getting a head start I see. When did it stop being "don't " and start being "do not"?


 No.295806

>>295804

Don't know, just copied the name from the other thread. Guess you'll have to deal with it for the next 3 or so weeks.

sage since other thread is still active


 No.295969

My mother is wanting me to go to some retarded New Years party that my neighbors are having. I assume that she thinks I'll lose my virginity there, because she keeps talking about how "you never know what might happen with all that drinking". I guess she's just trying to be nice but I can't help but be disgusted at the thought. Really goes to show how far I've come, a few years ago I probably would have been open to the idea (although my shyness would keep me from actually doing it), because I thought all of my problems stemmed from my virginity and there was not a single virgin in my high school (that I knew of) so I would always blame my depression on my virginity. Now I get repulsed at the idea of having sex with a drunken whore. 15-year-old me would probably think I'm a weirdo, being brought up on essentially hedonistic values and all.


 No.295974

>>295969

And why is it so vital to lose your virginity? You think all the problems you have, your depression will disappear once you've lost it? No, it will not. Your mother is a whore. Forgive me for saying it.


 No.295975

>>295974

>You think all the problems you have, your depression will disappear once you've lost it?

No, that's the lie I was told when I was a teenager and I ate it up at the time. Sorry if I didn't make that clear. I was stupid when I was younger. My mother screwed my dad over by cheating on him and getting his shit fucked up in court, she's a certifiable whore. Only reason I'm still living with her is that I can't afford to move out.


 No.295981

>>295969

>I assume that she thinks I'll lose my virginity there, because she keeps talking about how "you never know what might happen with all that drinking".

Your mother sounds like a disgusting whore. You should slap her tbh


 No.295995

>>295969

>inb4 you lose your virginity by having messy, comfy, warm no-condom sex with your drunk mom

That would be kind of hot, though


 No.296034

File: 54a96150d82a863⋯.png (269.49 KB, 448x336, 4:3, space ghost stare.png)

I have 2 cum socks that I cycle out when one gets too stiff. Even after washing the bigger one which is my favorite since it doesn't leak cum as much, it's still become so hard that it cut my dick while I was fapping today.


 No.296044

Lucky me, I talked my way out of the party (actually I just felt sick, but at least I got out of it without any harm done). No party for me, 2019's off to a good start.

Happy New Year, /r9k/.

>>296034

I've never understood the urge to fap into a sock. I could never do it unless I used it inside-out because the fuzzy part was on the inside and it'd hurt my dick. I just use lotion or do it in the shower. Regardless I think you should invest in new cum socks, anon.


 No.296050

>>296044

It's not even an issue of whether I want to use a spcl or not, it's more of a necessity than anything. Fapping into a sock is the only way I can get enough friction going for my dried out husk of a cut dick to bust one.

>Regardless I think you should invest in new cum socks, anon.

Dunno, there's something nostalgic about them. I've had one since I was 13 years old so it'd be like betraying an old friend at this point.


 No.296135

>get hangnail on outside edge of thumb

>think nothing of it and bite it off with my teeth

>several days later

>thumb is now slightly swollen and painful on that one side

>pain is shooting down my thumb now

>sometimes pain reaches down to the second knuckle somehow

>having trouble typing now because I predominantly hit the spacebar with this thumb which now feels like a swollen pain balloon

This shit is driving me nuts. I almost want to stab into it with something pointy to drain it like a cyst or something, because this is fucking retarded.


 No.296138

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

Happy new year everybody!

I made another video. Took me awhile and I posted it in the new years resolution thread as well for maximum attention whoring.


 No.296145

>>296138

I enjoyed it a lot. The editing bit in the beginning was fun.


 No.296155

>>296050

>>296034

I change my socks every 2-3 faps. For some reason if I don't put out the sock it feels like I am hard and my dick kinda hurts. My dick needs to cool down for a while so I just put down the sock, let it rest for a moment and use a new sock.

Keep in mind that I use lots of socks because my mum washes them anyway. I would probably change it like once a week if nobody washes it.


 No.296156

Invidious embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>tfw beat mgs3 for the first time recently (never played 1 2 or 4 but plan to)

I can't put my finger on the exact feel but whatever it was i wish more games would make me feel it.


 No.296157

>>296034

How does this work? Do you use the sock as a cloth or do you stick your penor into the hole. If the latter then how do you prevent your glans from getting irritated by the sock? Do you rub yourself with the sock on your penor like a condom or is it something you just shoot into? I never got socks to work in a way different to a towel


 No.296158

>>296135

Rub it maybe? Maybe putting pressure on it will help


 No.296159

Invidious embed. Click thumbnail to play.

>>296156

I recently played 5 because my brother has it. I only got through the first ten missions or so but it was really fun stuff. A lot better than the majority of (((modern games))). I'll have to figure out a way to play 3 (I don't have a ps3), the intro is one of the best intro themes in anything, vidya, movies, or tv shows. It out-Bonds Bond. And somehow it gives me nostalgia for something I've never played.

When I was young I knew a kid who had mgs2 and invited me over to play it, my dumb ass couldn't get past the first level.


 No.296161

>>296156

I would recommend you to go 1 - 2 - 3 -watch 4- play PW and then either watch or play 5. 3 was so good, it will make the other games feel a bit boring.


 No.296162

>>296161

I keep seeing negative things about 4 was it really that bad?


 No.296163

>>296138

I liked this. You got me interested might actually start reading some stoicism lit even

>>296157

The actual method of using the sock is usually to just catch the cum while only working the shaft, but since my glans have zero sensitivity there is no issue with irritation so I wank that cotton fleshlight from base to tip.


 No.296164

>>296034

I use an old pillow case for a cum-rag. Could make something smaller like a face-towel work okay but it's nice having the extra surface area since I don't like sticking my dick directly into the rag to finish.


 No.296167

File: ef94c9efcb611f1⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 2.52 MB, 1600x2400, 2:3, Dakimakura.png)

>>296164

>I use an old pillow case for a cum-rag

When I was young I used to have an extra pillow that I would sleep with like a dakimakura and I would hump it all fucking night. This reminded me of that. Kind of nostalgic in a disgusting, degenerate way.

I looked up "dakimakura" to make sure I was spelling it right, and pic related was the picture on the wikipedia page. Top lel.


 No.296171

>>296162

in terms of gameplay it might be good, but it suffers from the same syndrome with Phantom Pain. This time it's 80% movie. It also goes a bit edgy and doesnt carry some wacky and atmospheric stuff. It was supposed to be the last game, so they used all the old characters and tried to sum up the plot. You can watch some videos about the game that explains it's flaws. Now about the good things, it has tons of weapons and techniques. You can use pretty much what the fuck ever you want, almost like MGS5. You also visit places like 3, instead of being stuck in a place in 1 and 2. You visit different biomes. Desert, Snow, Jungle, City etc. It had some fan service (nostalgia) and I can't deny I enjoyed it. For example seeing old characters such as Meryl, Raiden and EVA. I liked cutscenes and I watched the gameplay purely for cutscenes tbh.

But the game is PS3 exclusive so good luck playing that.


 No.296176

File: 9d012c5060a385c⋯.jpg (12.88 KB, 255x205, 51:41, PepsiApproves.jpg)

>>296138

Nice video my good sir. I'd thought about sharing my face with 8ch as well, but I know I will need private security one day. Can't fuck it up with something a few years too soon.


 No.296179

File: 58183124dd3b443⋯.png (16.16 KB, 958x660, 479:330, Gondola Duck.png)

>Unemployed

>Bailed out of college first semester

>Currently in some gay all day therapy program

>I already learned everything I could from being in therapy for the past year and a half

>Mummy's insurance is running out for the program soon

>Haven't been looking for jobs

>Haven't been scheduling for college

>Still don't have my license and I haven't been looking for a car or studying for it all

>Phoneposting and using a shitty spare laptop cause my day to day has been broken for almost a month, I'm waiting for something to make me go out and buy a new one

>I''m not even playing tabletop anymore cause I keep telling myself I need to figure out my school and non-existant work schedule

>Daily thoughts of me never getting a gf cause I can form friendships and talk with girls but no ones stood out to me besides a girl who already rejected me.

>I told myself I wasn't in love with her when I was and didn't really start obsessing over her til she was out of my life, so now I don't know if I should try to go out with any girl that's slightly interesting to me or what

>Add all that onto to general robot underconfidence, non-existant flirting skills, and reputation of the tragic clown so I'm attention-seeking and make flirty jokes with people out of my league all the time cause I know I know my place beneath them yet also secretly hope they take it positively.

I'm not having a good time but there's not enough for me to complain about for me to get the courage to off myself, boys. I guess I'm grateful I have such a good amount of IRL friends who do care about me and invite me out. Maybe I should just accept my place and be thankful for what I got, but that doesn't stop the dread for my inaction against what's coming next


 No.296186

>>296161

What about old arcade games? Metal gear one and two? How would one get to playing that?


 No.296192

>>296179

Wow you have friends? What's it like?


 No.296195

>>296158

Tried putting pressure on it. Tried leaving it wrapped in a tight band aid. Tried leaving it alone. Kinda soaking it while showering helped a little. Leaving it alone, it just throbs painfully. Trying to ignore it isn't helping because I put pressure anywhere on my thumb and it hurts. I swear, it feels like there's puss building up in there, but I don't want to be a retard and just stab a hole in my already in pain thumb.


 No.296196

>>296195

then go to a doctor dude, we're just a bunch of autists


 No.296197

>>296179

Forget college and just get a job. Buy books in whatever topics you're truly interested in and forget the rest.


 No.296211

File: fbca674641ab4c0⋯.jpg (92.71 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, fbca674641ab4c0d242ab56399….jpg)

I miss the gondola thread feelsbad


 No.296213

>>296211

It's still here, tard. >>244525

Don't worry, we've all had moments of temporary retardation at some point or another. Just remember to check the catalog next time.


 No.296225

File: ec0ee017c49af24⋯.jpg (233.32 KB, 1024x721, 1024:721, yoyo_master_by_souleatersa….jpg)

I dont understand the appeal of nofap/noporn, mostly because of the argument I hear often is that it makes you desire sex/the opposite sex more since you cant get your fill with the internet anymore. How is that desireable? Have the last decades not thought people of the 3dpd? Porn and fap may fuck you up but they do defend you against 3dpd.


 No.296227

>>296225

I think the disconnect, at least for some of us, is that nofap is for people who have built up their fap habits around 3D porn. 3D porn is fucking vile for so many reasons, but I can imagine that not dealing with those malware-filled sites or staring at used up whores for several hours a week is a health benefit.


 No.296229

>>296162

It's 53 minutes of 10/10 gameplay and 8-ish hours of cutscenes.


 No.296239

File: 17950b43b758bf3⋯.jpg (388.12 KB, 1280x922, 640:461, original.jpg)

if you guys want some advice, security guard work sounds nice on paper but in reality it's a fucking nightmare. You may think it sounds cool to get paid to stand around doing nothing but god is it bad. I got a job working part time, which they interpreted as working 12 hour shifts. So the first day, the very second I walked through the door I get bitched at because someone just ran off with stolen shit, they didn't tell me who they were or what they looked like, so I couldn't do anything. Instantly get bitched out. The rest of the day was spent standing in place and acting like a glorified greeter. You had to say good evening and have a good night to literally everyone that walked through the door or they'd get pissed at you. Every hour you'd patrol the store and check for shit to see if its been broken into.

Sounds alright so far right? So when I say stand I mean you fucking stand, you get no breaks. I'm serious, no breaks. You don't get a 10 minute sit down and if you ask for one they bitch you out. I got bitched at for going to take a piss break. On a 12 hour shift. They say you get 30 minute meal breaks but in reality you can't leave your post to eat so I had to sample the bounty of goodwill, which since their drink fridges were out meant I didn't even get a drink with my corn nuts. And on top of that they cut my lunch short. So by the end of my shift I felt like I was going to die, like my legs were going to crumple at any moment. I was sneaking in sit downs as much as possible. They actually banned me from going to the bathroom because I went to piss twice in the day. So as you can see, the employees treat you like shit, they think you get it easy so they give you shit. You get tossed around like a bitchboy all day. Packs of niggers will harass you because in their sub iq 80 brain they associate you being in a black uniform with da po lease. The manager thought it'd be funny to have me go outside and tell the homeless to fuck off. So I got spat on by toothless crackheads and probably had 30 different strains of AIDs on my jacket by the time my shift was over. You are banned from carrying any sort of weapon. I was told to leave my flashlight in the car because it was too big. You can't stop someone from shoplifting, if you do they'll charge you with assault. And of course, 90 percent of your day is spent wondering why god cursed you. You'll be bored out of your mind but you have to pay attention, not for customers since who gives a fuck, but for employees. They'll write a report about you and get your ass canned just because they feel like it. At the end of the day the first thing I did when I clocked out was run to the subway bathroom and rip a fat shit, then I ate a footlong steak and cheese in one sitting.

Obviously i'm quitting that shitheap of a job but there's a problem. They never told me who my supervisor was so I called dispatch to ask them and they didn't know who their supervisor was let alone mine.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Sorry about the blogpost, I really needed to get that off my chest.


 No.296240

>>296239

If you're gonna quit just don't show up, if it's that bad and they treat you like shit there is no reason why you shouldn't do the same.


 No.296241

>>296240

i would but I have to return company property. I'm not a nigger, I don't just go and steal shit.


 No.296258

>>296241

then go to where you usually work, drop off their property and just leave. don't say a word to the employees, just walk out.


 No.296269

>>296138

I see no need to advertise this video in multiple threads.


 No.296271

>>296239

Your mistake was taking the day shift. When people talk about easy security jobs they always mean night shift.


 No.296276

>>296239

pretty sure it's illegal for them to not let you go piss or shit. That's if you're US based.


 No.296279

>>296239

Also you got the short stick of the draw, most security guard jobs are cozy as fuck. Especially if you get a night shift and they let you read.


 No.296281

File: e9b4209a1428ba5⋯.jpg (25.71 KB, 700x467, 700:467, brandenburg8.jpg)

>>295969

I know that feel all too well.

My father dragged me through a modern art museum, because "you'll meet women there".

At least I know have a lot of disdain for people, who wear scarves for fashion.


 No.296283

Do you guys just drink boiled water? No tea, no sugar, just hot water. I think i prefer it to tea, theres something about it that feels nicer, maybe the flavorlessness puts the focus more on the warmth. Its that feeling and taste when youre thirsty and chug a bottle a water, but warm


 No.296286

>>296225

I think most cattle do it for the memey superpowers or to break an addiction. I try and do it because i dont want my mind drifting off to porn, but because of how empty my life is its hard to do. I dont feel comfy with porn, its the same positions, same setups, same old penis thing in hole. I think might short stamina and my slow journey into wizardhood has made porn feel more like a waste of time than anything. It doesnt even feel super great, only slightly nice for the sensitivity and clenching the benis does during orgasm. Its really a journey to try and remove vaginal jew influence from you. To stop sex/women for being a tool to get you to do/buy things (like wasting hours trying to set up a hentai game instead of vidya), and to stop the fetish slippery slope as your brain desides to put its efforts into growing the lizard part instead of more autistic development, as well as mulling perceptions (similar to how cattle might think seasonal moe is good because its "cute"). Thats how i feel about it anyways, not trying to shill it to anyone, but dont waste your mana lads


 No.296287

File: 456656aa37c0763⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 129.97 KB, 394x360, 197:180, 1491235885597.png)

>Love playing the violin

>Can't play more than 2 songs as my stringing hand starts cramping up

>Didn't hurt when I use to play the piano, but only when I play the violin

At least I can still play video games haha


 No.296304

File: 43b8a82fe7895d3⋯.mp4 (730.52 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 43b8a82fe7895d37222a879946….mp4)

>>296239

okay so as an update, I shot an email off to the HR people to quit this morning and now it's 7pm with not a word. I didn't show up for work today and they never called me. It's fucking bizarre, how do they even operate as a company like this?


 No.296310

>>296195

You might have a hand infection. Go to the hospital when there is still time for it to be treated with some antibiotics. If it is really a hand infection, leaving it alone will make it extand to your hole hand and you will have to go through surgery in order to remove all the infected tissue.


 No.296311

>>296286

>similar to how cattle might think seasonal moe is good because its "cute"

Is cattle the new word for "people who like thing i dont like"?


 No.296313

File: f18c51fb6fbcd99⋯.gif (2.9 MB, 200x200, 1:1, hitler can't come soon eno….gif)

Give me an excuse to not kill my family

Time has passed and they keep making the same fucking mistakes I've pointed them about, it's like they're doing them on purpose. The only thing that seems will fix everything is murdering them


 No.296314

File: f37d4ae472b301d⋯.jpg (50.01 KB, 1280x720, 16:9, 1468304959528.jpg)

>>296313

>Give me an excuse to not kill my family

Well if you do keep in mind that there is no anime in hell


 No.296316

>>296213

Sorry my mind is a total mess i can't even think,i should probably stop faping so much.


 No.296335

>>296269

correct. You are right and I agree. It only in one other thread though, and I just wasnt sure what topic it would fit.


 No.296338

Do you have any more pics like that OP?


 No.296339

>>296313

The trouble and consequences of murder far outweighs the stress of dealing with your family long enough to just get away forever. Do some basic risk assessment, dude.


 No.296341

>>296313

are your parents boomers? I swear, they are not real. The stories I could tell….


 No.296351

>>296311

No, that term is (you)

If you seriously dont know where the term cattle came from, when you can find both uses of the term in many threads then how new are you.


 No.296353

>>296311

Actually i realize the flaw in my prose now and how it implies everyone who likes cgdgt is the cattle, my bad. i meant the neurotypicals who call themselves otaku and weeb in public, the kind of people discussed about in that thread about normals infecting anime.


 No.296359

File: dcaaa1c9302a142⋯.mp4 (182.63 KB, 640x360, 16:9, what in the goddamn.mp4)

>>296313

what kind of a piece of shit do you have to be to take your frustrations out on the people that gave birth to you, even going so far as contemplating their death? I hated my parents growing up too but goddamn i'd never think of hurting them. Just remember, as much as you think they hate you, most of you fuckers are at least in your early 20s and posting here, if they hated your worthless ass you'd be out on the street by now since their legal obligation is done.

It's okay to be mad at your parents, it's okay to hate them, but that doesn't mean you can't give them a little bit of decency. Just think about it, if you were in their shoes and you had to raise a shit kid such as yourself, do you think you'd put up with that little faggot all day?


 No.296375

File: 0fcd91b53c9b716⋯.jpeg (48.3 KB, 800x598, 400:299, goodjob.jpeg)

>>296353

It's all good, thanks for clarifying.


 No.296378

File: 64f654ca2fe0920⋯.jpg (785.13 KB, 1050x1050, 1:1, rad.jpg)

>>296359

>>296359

>I hated my parents growing up too but goddamn i'd never think of hurting them. Just remember, as much as you think they hate you, most of you fuckers are at least in your early 20s and posting here, if they hated your worthless ass you'd be out on the street by now since their legal obligation is done.

Thing is, it's not about hate, but correction. My grandmother, dad and mother just keep pumping out that cancer that is television. My grandmother keeps not eating meat, ends up throwing what she should eat to the dogs, and fills herself with bread. My mother keeps buying a fuckton of bread, from which there is always leftovers the next morning. Also she feeds the dogs like shit, instead of just giving them dog food she shoves flours and rice to them with leftover bones that end up splintering the dogs' ass. Where the fuck did the "dogs love bones" meme come from? It's the same as saying "men love cigs" which may as well be "men love cancer". And they also are ok with the browning of my neighbourhood, saying "some people do the jobs that others don't do". Mother specially shits on people from here and dicksucks foreigns filling hospital jobs, claims that nobody from here works in hospitals and that means nobody from here works.

Honestly the list is too long. It's not just hate, it is hate but also something else, wanting justice.


 No.296381

>>296378

what kind of a piece of shit do you have to be to take your frustrations out on the people that gave birth to you, even going so far as contemplating their death? I hated my parents growing up too but goddamn i'd never think of hurting them. Just remember, as much as you think they hate you, most of you fuckers are at least in your early 20s and posting here, if they hated your worthless ass you'd be out on the street by now since their legal obligation is done. It's okay to be mad at your parents, it's okay to hate them, but that doesn't mean you can't give them a little bit of decency. Just think about it, if you were in their shoes and you had to raise a shit kid such as yourself, do you think you'd put up with that little fag all day?


 No.296388

File: 59f7bfae27535af⋯.jpg (47.49 KB, 500x375, 4:3, 1445880460732.jpg)

>>296378

nothing you said here is deserving of death, they just sound like hapless dolts at the very worst. Why do you let this bother you? If they were beating you, threatening you, and making your life miserable you'd have a point. Instead you just sound like a jack ass.


 No.296402

File: 6faaf48b63e0d74⋯.jpg (54.5 KB, 697x524, 697:524, the ideal weapon.jpg)

>>296388

heiled

>nothing you said here is deserving of death, they just sound like hapless dolts at the very worst. Why do you let this bother you?

mostly comes down to how I managed to quit flours and sugar and television while they're still hooked to it. I believe they should have followed the same patterns I did, but they're too busy being good goys. The situation I am in remind me of the story of a /fit/ guy helping a fat guy to lose weight, in which the fat guy ends up fighting against his dad and family due to how bad their food standards were. I don't want to make any wrong but they just keep showing themselves for the mistakeds they do and it bloods my boil so much I daydream of killing them. You tell them how they should eat, they shame you for things of the past, even though I showed myself to change. Sometimes it makes me feel like nothing is worth anything, but the reality is that the ones not worth anything and are busy being the greatest cattle ever are them


 No.296403

>>296388

I think you might be a bit new here, taking what he said so literally. It honestly reminds me of those caps of people getting triggered on facebook and the like


 No.296407

>>296402

I often want to murder my family because the only thing they're capable of occupying themselves with and talking about is food or getting drunk. They're so fucking primitive that they can't even waste their time talking about stuff they saw on TV, their whole existence revolves around food. And since they're drama queens too, nearly all the drama they produce is also about food; who eats what, in what quantities, at what time of the day. I want to starve myself to death every time they try to micromanage my diet.


 No.296409

>>296378

>fuckton of bread

>fills herself with bread

>flours and rice

Sounds like a perfectly reasonable justification to murder another human #Glutenfree!


 No.296413

File: 2254d3b8cf0b5df⋯.gif (2.1 MB, 330x166, 165:83, 1465486341630.gif)

>>296313

>>296378

>>296402

>I want to kill my family because they're dumb

Mine are too but unless they're emotionally or physically abusing you or stealing your belongings you have nothing to fucking complain about you spoiled shithead. You want the dog to eat better then feed the dog yourself, if they don't want help they can't be helped it's that simple.


 No.296430

>>296413

Im pretty sure he doesnt literally want to kill his parents and its just a figure of speech. Dude comeon this is the internet, we say the darndest things sometimes


 No.296432

Im mad that there are people here who cant use this thread so im pasting a recent blogpost here

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm pissed right now (part in why I'm writing this) but also suffer from being a manic-depressive Bipolar Schizophrenic with Inattentive ADHD (amongst other things), so don't expect any sort of consistency in this ramble.

It all started before I was conceived. Let's just set the scene for now. Before me, my mother had my older brother, a low-functioning Asperger's-having John Lennon's style literally rose-tinted glasses-wearing long hair-balding fat Communist anti-White pro-Native American furry Second Life catfishing wishing-to-transition bisexual. Try saying that ten times fast, Jesus fucking Christ. My younger brother is everything you would think of when you think of the words "annoying runt". He literally should not be alive. His fetus so much as had a heartbeat when he was so young it shouldn't've been possible, but also my mother was having some sort of complications that I don't know too much about, but I guess my slut-whore of a mother's snatch picked up some disease somewhere that helped her become a fucking brood queen. It is important to bring up the age difference for the older brother, who I shall henceforth call John, and myself is 11 months, and the age difference for the younger brother, who I shall henceforth call Jack because he's a fucking jackass, is somewhere between 6 and 7 and a half years because I honestly have no fucking clue how old he his despite being told multiple times and having grown up with him, mostly. Somewhere in there is also literally seven abortions. I was dodging bullets like Neo out of the Matrix before I was fucking born. Also, my younger bother also has Asperger's but is moderate functioning, is a drug dealer drug addict manlet with a slew of young-crimes or whatever the fuck they're called. He once held a girl in a restaurant at knife point and threatened to kill her if she didn't give him $1,000.00 right there. He didn't know her, and this is after he ran away from child prison for like a month and a half, that's how they found him. He was high as a kite on something.

I've already come down and want to die.

How do I even salvage this? After looking through some pictures on my computer, and subsequently uploading one, also here is the playlist I'm listing to right now just to get these thoughts out of my head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5IUYmpbIoU&list=PLiNRTdSDh6-XbKxn79tBKCUBzH7vjOmPF&index=2 , I think I'll just straight talk about myself and we'll see what happens.


 No.296452

File: b9dc0ba25311f8f⋯.jpg (122.33 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, together.jpg)

>you will never travel with a young qt woman years after the apocalypse

>you will never undertake a treacherous journey through the ruins of the world for some reason or another

>you will never pick through rusted shells of cars looking for supplies

>you will never start out strangers yet as time passes get to know each other

>you will never save her from an attack by one of the nightmare beasts that stalks the wastes

>you will never help her limp to a nearby building to rest

>you will never clean and bandage her wounds and care for her as she recovers

>you will never warm with her beside a small fire the one night you dare to make one

>you will never have her curl up next to you for safety

>you will never keep watch from the roof of a ruined building by the moonlight as her warmth pushes against you

>you will never lose one of your sleeping bags when an old bridge you are crossing collapses and you are forced to share from then on

>you will never feel her hair tickle your face

>you will never let her cut your hair when it starts to cover your ears and eyes, and watch her giggle at the results

>you will never feel her grip on your hand tighten when there is a distant howl as you are walking

>she will never be a warm island of joy in the cold lonely world you travel

>you will never look into her soft green eyes

>you will never hear her lily soft voice

>you will never listen to her sing songs her mother taught her in a soft cooing voice

>you will never tell each other stories

>you will never slowly grow to love her


 No.296453

>>296452

>You will never see her cuck you with some chad wasteland king and his big army.


 No.296454

>>296452

You have the comfort of knowing that reality will never be able to taint your fantasy. It's helped me.


 No.296459

File: 54b45403f00b97e⋯.jpg (215.25 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, showdown.jpg)

>>296454

Thanks anon.

>>296453

……Thanks, anon.


 No.296463

>>296452

Have you played Cataclysm: Dark days ahead? If not then I think you are in for a treat.


 No.296468

File: 4c3bf2938570f79⋯.gif (477.13 KB, 320x240, 4:3, shinku-punch.gif)

>ywn hit someone so hard they cry


 No.296469

>>296463

I have it installed and I've played a bit. It looks like a lot of fun but I haven't had a chance to continue playing. Maybe tonight…


 No.296473

File: cedc7a90a991ca2⋯.jpg (623.25 KB, 3296x2044, 824:511, Labrador Veteran.jpg)

>>296452

>choosing a roastie over a dog as his wasteland companion

You deserve to get cucked.


 No.296474

File: b1970f767baf1c4⋯.jpg (165.87 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, 20180824020003_1.jpg)

>>296473

Having an imaginary waifu who actually loves you would be perfect.

Nothing is saying I couldn't have a dog as well.


 No.296478

File: 12e7fd09bca0609⋯.png (140.79 KB, 515x554, 515:554, 1491621662761.png)

File: c8d86eba7cdc8b1⋯.png (100.48 KB, 837x400, 837:400, ZHcq8g7.png)

There's a mandatory speech class at my college starting on the 14th and I've been having anxiety attacks each day just thinking about it. I'm afraid that my speeches will be terrible and that I'll be made fun of if I start getting anxious while reading. The thought of being the center of attention also makes things feel worse. I was not prepared for the feels.

Will it all be Ok or am I fucked ?


 No.296479

>>296432

The rest because his post will probably be deleted:

The advent of Jesus Christ in the next few years is more likely than me living to see 30. I have wanted to die everyday for more than 10 years. I was in middle school when the reality of everything in the world hit. Say whatever the fuck you want, at that age I had already seen numerous people literally die, and including seeing my own mother be subsequently beat to death and then be revived by paramedics. I'm an Optimist, much to my dismay. Most were to drugs, other's I've blocked out. I think some were murdered, you'll see why I think that, probably. Also, while I think about it, I'm a rape baby. Unlike my other brothers, I'm not a manlet. We all have different dads (big fucking shock), I am literally the biggest living member of my family on either sides. It's not even close.

I have been abused all my life. I currently live in a literal closet. When I was little my mother sold me out to two drug addicts to be raped in exchange for more drugs. Not the same same guy who beat her and stuff, but two others. Also, the guy who beat her to death was her husband she broke up with. She's been married several times. Four, I think. She is currently lesbian married to some short dyke whom she literally beats. The dyke is also a drug addict and a alcoholic. My mother is also those things. Where am I going with this. I'm trying to keep this pure by just being myself, but you can clearly see why that is a bad idea. Yes, abused. I can't tell you how many times I've actually been raped and molested. I draw a difference in them with molestation being no penetration. Also, those two guys drugged me and raped me, I don't remember the ending of it because of that. I've been otherwise touched by people, but it's blurry. My mother has felt me up and tried to have sex with me. Even when I was older she tried this, but I am / was so much bigger than her I told her to "fuck off" and she slapped me in the face. I did nothing. That little amount of pain is nothing, and I honestly think I have Stockholm Syndrome because I am a criminally classified Class 3 Sadomasochist. They score it from 0 to 4. 1-2 involves consent, 3-4 involves involuntary in either which way. I rapid cycle (going through emotion quickly due to the Bipolar I have) and it's literally better than an orgasm a lot of the time. I sometimes literally gasp. Can you even begin to imagine how much that fucks up a person? Do have such profound problems than therein sometimes give you so much pleasure? I was a child literally pulling out my own teeth in the back of my mother's car on the way into town thinking "This feels good. Why does this feel good?".


 No.296480

>>296479

Last part:

I missed things I had meant to say, there. I hit people growing up. I am extremely maladjusted. I think I want affection, but I genuinely don't because I know from a completely objective standpoint that it means nothing. I have literally never love anyone platonically or otherwise, I have literally never wanted to have sex with anyone but am also an extreme sexual degenerate when it comes to masturbation. There is no contradiction there. I once fucked an apple, three dogs and a cat. I once beat a puppy because it was forced onto me. I remember riding on the highway with my mother driving and somebody in the driver's side seat and because I was having too much fun too loudly my mother threw my Happy Meal Wizard of Oz toy out the window. I literally ripped hair from her head for that. I've tried to kill my older brother. My first thoughts when I met him as a child, because keep in mind we had different fathers and had never met each other up to that, was something along the lines of "Who the fuck is this chump?" because even as children I knew he had a better life than me (I lived with mom, he lived with grandparents). Anyways, long story short, I tried to kill him with sharp objects multiple times but because he was slightly so much older he was slightly also so much faster than me. The last time, I went to strike him and I fell into an oil lamp and burned a third of the skin on my hand off. I had to go the hospital like everyday for like two and a half weeks, afterwards .

I'm too tired and apathetic now to continue. It's always like this. Everyone's at fault, everyone but me unironically. My entire life has been taken from me. Arguably, before I was even born. I am literally one of the most Robots. I've just scratched the surface. How I wish I cared enough to write a manifesto, but I exist in a constant duality. I'm so scared. I wish things were good. I wish to be held, but another person touching me would fuck me up more than most intentional physical abuse. I don't want to be loved, I hate too much. Nothing about me is anything in particular. I'm going to go masturbate and then go to sleep. When I wake up in the morning, none of this will have meant anything. I won't care. I'm going to be homeless again soon. I just wish to be left alone. I don't want to die.


 No.296485

>>296478

I don't know, I managed to slip through all the oral reports in my english classes heh, "oral" with convenient sick days. A speech class is probably hell to robot types.


 No.296490

I'm so lonely. All the people I met are either at college, work, or live way too far away. I'm scared to text or call them because they'll think I'm being needy. I don't want to be seen as a manipulative person, so I never ask someone to hang out. I tried asking my sister to hang out, but I think she hates me. She doesn't want anything to do with me. I asked her if she wants to watch anime or play video games together but she's not into my stuff. So I just sit down here alone, all day. Most of the time staring at walls, feeling a big empty void in the middle of my body because I'm so fucking lonely and I just want to hang out with someone. Nearly every night I wake up from dreams about girls - hugging girls, lying down near girls, kissing them. Sometimes they are naked, sometimes clothed. Sometimes they're people I've met, sometimes not. It would be really nice if I could have a real girlfriend, but that will never ever happen for so many reasons I can't begin to count them. It would also be nice if I could have friends to play video games and watch anime with. I would do things that they wanted to do too. As long as it's not stupid boring shit like stare at TV and get drunk which is all my fucking family does. Sometimes I get to see my cousin and we play board games or I watch him play a video game. He lives too far away though and he's in college now like every other fucking person. Not like I can do a real social interaction anyway. I am just a loser freak who doesn't understand society or how to behave like a normal human. When I went to college I had to switch schools because I couldn't handle dorm life. My roommates made fun of me and were very obnoxious, loud, and stupid. It's funny how much I crave social interaction even though I hate most people and I'm so terrible at handling social situations. I really want a girl to hug tightly and lie down with on my bed. Not even have sex (though that would be nice too) but just to touch and hold and be next to each other. But all the fucking girls hate me because I'm a creepy loser. They just want to fuck handsome well-adjusted men with strong jawlines and good flirtation skills. Even if I was good-looking it wouldn't change anything though. I just fail too hard at everything. I'm deathly scared of rejection or being seen as needy, so I never put myself out there even if I get a chance. With friends or girls, it doesn't matter, I'm scared of them. I'd really like if I lived next door to some cool bros and our families were on good terms and we would just stay over with each other and play games and watch anime and spend the night together whenever we felt like hanging out. Ever since I was a kid this has been a dream of mine but I never had friends to hang out with. At most there were people I would see at school, but my parents chose to live in fucking old-person nowhere-ville where every fucking person in the neighborhood is retired. I can't drive either so I'm even more limited. The most I could hope for is online friendship but I can't even pull that off. Not to mention it wouldn't fill the void, just distract me for a while. I'm too fucking psycho to have an online friend though, I would just block them from everything on a whim one day, this is how I do everything. I would freak out at them and screw with them because I am so fucking unstable. I don't really get like that with real people though. Mostly because I'm scared to show my true feelings at any time. I think making a tulpa would solve some of my problems but I lack the required willpower to force consistently, if it's even possible for me at all. I tried a few times but always lost the willpower. I just don't have it in me, if I was a character in an RPG you just used willpower as a dump stat. And strength and luck and every other fucking stat, they're all dump stats because I fucking just suck as a person. There's nothing good or redeeming or interesting about me.


 No.296491

>>296490

I drive away anyone who tries to get close to me and I constantly watchdog myself from getting close to anybody else. On the inside I'm scared and vulnerable and unstable so I can't let anybody see my true feelings. Everyone just thinks I'm creepy and distant and unfriendly, and I don't have any choice in how they perceive me because I have no control even over my own actions. Being around girls I like is impossible, I just can't look at them and start shaking, can't speak. I tried to ask out a girl on two occasions in my life and it was probably the most difficult thing I did. I barely managed to force out the words and then I immediately ran away. The looks on their faces was awful, like I'm a slug that they would want to step on. They fucking hated me because I'm a pussy bitch loser faggot piece of shit who doesn't deserve to be called a man. Anyway I'm never going back to work at my last job because that's exactly what happened there. Now I'm a NEET and my parents want to kick me out. They're gonna try to find me another job but I can't do it. The only reason I got my last job was due to nepotism, if I had to do a real interview for a real job, I would fail every fucking time. The only thing consistent about my life is how much of a loser I am. I can't talk to people. I can't talk to girls. I can't live on my own. I can't handle school. I can't handle work. My family wants me to fuck off already. I smell like shit and piss and sweat and cum. I live in my own trash, literally surrounded by dirty clothes and garbage and moldy food everywhere. I have dried cum on my legs. I don't shave or shower for months at a time. I don't have any real hobbies or interests that I can devote myself to. I just spend all day on the internet, staring at the same five threads over and over, hitting F5 all day. It's such a fucking shit existence. I don't even have the courage for suicide. Everything I try ends in failure. I just pretend to like things so that I can talk about them online and pretend like I'm one of you guys, but you know what? I'm fucking not and if you ever see my posts (you'll be able to distinguish them by how poorly thought out and amateurish they are) you should just fucking ignore and report them because I'm just trying to fit in and I don't really have any interest in that thing. For example I might watch an anime that everyone really likes and pretend I'm a big fan, but probably it was just OK at best and I lie to myself and you guys so that I can get a temporary dopamine hit off posting about it and pretending like I fit in somewhere. The truth is I never fit in anywhere, in real life or online, I've always been lonely and alone, hating other people and wishing for their contact, dreaming of some girlfriend I'll never have, failing school, failing college, failing work. I can't handle the responsibilities of adult life. I can't reach anything meaningful or deep. I can never acquire a true understanding of anything or anyone because my brain just has a big fucking block, not a fog like when I was younger, but now it's a big concrete BLOCK that prevents me from learning anything at all. My emotions switch and shift on the drop of a dime. There's no true personality or self hidden under all my masks. It's just an empty void where my soul should be. I'm gonna go jerk off now.


 No.296492

>>296478

you are fucked mate. but i have a piece of advice for you: do not sleep at all the day before. this will help you to become numb and less aware of your surrounding, therefore kinda help with your anxiety. good luck mate.


 No.296499

>PC literally went into flames

>drank so much I threw up oven pizza today at friend's house playing Smash and again when I got home

>currently trying to sleep off everything

So my 2019 has been going swimmingly so far


 No.296500

File: db05347ddd6ccc4⋯.gif (5.84 MB, 474x487, 474:487, db05347ddd6ccc4ce0a68da778….gif)

>>296478

If it makes you feel any better, normalfags are terrible public speakers too. Maybe if you fuck up they will think you're one of them and you can experience how terrible friendship is.


 No.296518

File: 7f6bc860ff2a48b⋯.jpg (145.79 KB, 750x893, 750:893, 7f6bc860ff2a48b79a05e03a5e….jpg)

>>296452

Shed your need for women, and become ebin autistic wastelander. Everything you just said has value no different than having male friends (besides the cuddling and romance parts), and has far less nuance than camaraderie, but because muh soft face and boobs and vagina, it means so much more. A woman merely existing beside you and holding you is worth more than comrades or a dog, that is what you have said. One day you might see this, and begin to remove yourself from the vaginal jew. Let women be secondary to your self growth and brotherhood, and the wasteland will be much more savory


 No.296538

File: 8b144221546a8d2⋯.jpeg (33.97 KB, 318x488, 159:244, eliminate-the-gay-communi….jpeg)

>>296518

>become a faggot

No thanks.


 No.296543

>>296538

He meant becoming pretty much asexual and forming platonic, brotherly bonds with other men. There's nothing carnal about it.


 No.296553

>>296538

Do not assume everything must have lust and carnal desires brethren, for the issue i am talking about is carnal bias itself, the bias many men give to women for merely existing


 No.296554

File: 51c1f90bf98e104⋯.jpg (108.95 KB, 1680x1050, 8:5, misaki.jpg)

>>296478

Think about public speaking like this: it's like jerking off in front of a hamster. Would you care what a hamster thinks of the size of your dick or how fast you bust one? Of course not, because it's a fucking hamster. Who gives a shit what its tiny little pea brain thinks.

Normalfags are the same way, they are beneath you and hell most of them are probably even beneath hamsters. Their thoughts and perception of you holds as much intrinsic value as a clump of dirt.

not my OC, think the context this was posted in originally in response to how scam hyde got the confidence to do his stand up bits

>>296499

>PC literally went into flames

is why you don't buy AMD

>>296452

You forgot

>ywn see her leave your sorry ass once you run out of food and go join Chadmungus' harem

Women won't become more pure and qt anime waifu material in the post-apocalypse. If anything you'll see them revert even further into their baser instincts


 No.296557

File: 2d6cb45f89ff10e⋯.jpeg (26.19 KB, 188x343, 188:343, 2d6.jpeg)

>>296553

t. Homo

>>296543

>asexual

>tumblr words

>tumblr

>home of fags


 No.296558

File: d3e80f30eda0711⋯.png (378.32 KB, 500x403, 500:403, 1546625879982.png)

>>296557

You're just jealous


 No.296559

File: a60594cc1d3ebf6⋯.jpg (4.67 KB, 225x225, 1:1, Me.jpg)

>>296558

>jealous of faggotry

In your dreams gayboy.


 No.296560

>taking last actually important class in major

>professor is a white man, with countless years of experience in the industry, and is one of the few professors to teach his class in a practical manner

>class starts in almost a week

>look at class schedule to memorize location and time

>notice something different

>look at professor's name

>…Wei Hu Cheng

>they replaced him with a chink graduate student, who is known as the most atrocious professor in the department, a week before class starts

IT NEVER FUCKING ENDS!!!!!!


 No.296567

>>296554

Bold of you to assume I purchased anything AMD related


 No.296571

>>296557

>asexual

>platonic

>carnal(?)

I think every single word was used correctly and in their proper context. Even the general idea isn't all that wrong or at all disagreeable to any true robot. Roasties aren't worth it. Sex isn't worth pursuing. The only authentic and genuine relationships men can have is with other men, which exist devoid of any romantic angle.


 No.296581

File: bf7e2e14e349521⋯.jpg (40.15 KB, 480x480, 1:1, 30605337_194253897852910_4….jpg)

>>296571

Fuckoff tumblr, stop trying to recruit me into the gay community.


 No.296609

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

All of the comments on this video are at least seven years old. It's interesting to see how people thought back then. I'm not sure how a video with more than eight million views has less than fifty comments on it, but I'm really glad to see it this way. Makes me feel less like a crazy conspiracy theorist type when talking about how the internet went to shit sometime in 2011 to see genuine proof of it being better before then, even on somewhere as mainstream as youtube on a fucking console game with millions of fans, most of which would be grade-A normalfags. Every comment is just saying how much they enjoyed the music (except for a few talking about the game), there isn't any stupid jokes or attention-whoring, it's just a bunch of people talking about how "epic" the song was. I miss when we would call things "epic". I never really liked console shooters and I wasn't ever an xbox fag so I have no memories about Halo but these comments made me feel nostalgic regardless.


 No.296613

>>296581

Can't be gay if you reject sexuality and romance.


 No.296615

File: 61adf82fd433741⋯.png (243.8 KB, 728x745, 728:745, 1417138571837.png)

>>296613

t. Boy molesting fruit lala homoman


 No.296616

How can I lash out at the system and gain my freedom? One of you must have the answers I seek.


 No.296617

>>296616

Art seems like the way to go but I have no ideas.


 No.296618

>>296616

You can't gain your freedom, but you can write and publish a manifesto illustrating what you see as the key problems of the system. For instance, Karl Marx was an unemployable NEET whose writing was so bad he couldn't even get a job as a scribe.


 No.296640

>>296609

Halo 2 was better, 3 just felt disappointing and kind of meh


 No.296641

File: e9c6df919b80865⋯.jpg (21.89 KB, 480x270, 16:9, e9c6df919b808658f2248afaa0….jpg)

>>296615

Anon why are you bullying him like that?


 No.296665

>>296618

Much like me, communism doesn't work. Ba ding tish.

Right now I want to be frighting. A horror. I want all problem people to flee out of my way.


 No.296671

File: 24ab4424af9e784⋯.jpg (209.98 KB, 1600x1600, 1:1, 1_9r5wxV5sSKWbbwpzaJbvAw.j….jpg)

>>296641

Bully is fun.


 No.296723

>>296609

I forgot how much I loved this music.


 No.296725

>>296490

> I don't want to be seen as a manipulative person, so I never ask someone to hang out.

Not to sound like a normie, but WTF anon?

>I tried asking my sister to hang out, but I think she hates me.

She might be embarrassed by you due to social insecurities. How old is she?

The rest of your post, I feel sorry for you. Fear of intimacy is I think a bigger part of many robots' problems than they admit.

>>296491

>They fucking hated me because I'm a pussy bitch loser faggot piece of shit who doesn't deserve to be called a man.

I know the feeling.

>My emotions switch and shift on the drop of a dime. There's no true personality or self hidden under all my masks.

Consuming less media might help, but again, I know the feeling.

I wish I could help you anon but I don't know how. Sorry.


 No.296731

>>296725

>Not to sound like a normie, but WTF anon?

Because I know the only reason they ever talk to me to begin with is because they felt bad for me. There's nothing interesting or useful about me so that's the only logical conclusion. If I asked them to hang out they would (or might) see it as me trying to manipulate them into feeling bad for me, and think of me as a whiny annoying needy loser. That's why I wouldn't ask them. I don't want to pressure them into hanging out with me when logically, they most likely don't want to at all.

>She might be embarrassed by you due to social insecurities. How old is she?

Yes probably. She is still in high school, so a fair bit younger than me. It is hard to read her, I can never tell what she is thinking. On the occasions where she does talk to me, I get the feeling she is just using me, but I'm not sure and frankly don't really care. I'd rather be used than ignored.

>Consuming less media might help, but again, I know the feeling.

Possibly, but if I didn't consume any media, I would just lie in bed all day. That's the only thing I feel like doing other than sleeping and staring at my web browser. I'm sorry to hear you can relate to my posts. At this point I feel like I am doomed. Yet someday we will all find peace.


 No.296734

>>296554

>Women won't become more pure and qt anime waifu material in the post-apocalypse. If anything you'll see them revert even further into their baser instincts

I know but it's a fantasy anyway, no woman would ever really want me in real life but I can imagine a female one as the perfect companion.

>>296518

I've had male camraderie I just wish I had a female qt as well. I have those other things so I don't want them, but I do appreciate them. I am slowly losing my desire for real women but the imaginary ones who can fulfill both camradirie and romantic companionship are so compelling I can't let go of them.


 No.296735

File: d1f18b604813d00⋯.jpg (517.13 KB, 1190x1200, 119:120, d1f18b604813d0025e1f812159….jpg)

>>296734

>I am slowly losing my desire for real women but the imaginary ones who can fulfill both camradirie and romantic companionship are so compelling I can't let go of them.

Never let go.


 No.296737

File: 0662207f9224195⋯.jpg (205.5 KB, 1600x900, 16:9, come_along.jpg)

>>296735

>Never let go.

I will try not to but I worry these feelings are unhealthy and blocking my path to peace as a wizard (even though I have 5 years before I become one).


 No.296752

File: 42029220b402c95⋯.png (425.34 KB, 800x737, 800:737, b076a8f0f8fdb7ee4312e94273….png)

>>296737

>I will try not to but I worry these feelings are unhealthy and blocking my path to peace as a wizard

Feel whatever you think is best for you anon, i wish you good luck on your path to wizardry.


 No.296801

Why are there so many edgy threads as of late? I feel it happened since the site was down for a bit.


 No.296803

Do you guys know anything about apprenticeships? My mom wants me to do some elevator mechanic thing but there's no college courses on it near me, only apprenticeships. Theres some local government apprenticeship application association thing but i dunno how that works. What is apprenticeship like? Can i wake up at 10 like i usually do a be ok for classes? Is it one on one training or a class/group kinda thing where i dont have to stand out?


 No.296805

>>296665

What if some of the problem people see themselves as the one who should be feared? And you as the slave?


 No.296807

>>296801

I think it might be the halfchanners. They're never really poised as question or discussion threads, but as statements. Like a blogpost of their feelings that they kill a thread for


 No.296815

File: 5558c9fcaa46935⋯.jpg (16.84 KB, 500x375, 4:3, 267897517409158.jpg)

What is arrested development, who are the people have it and how do you know if you have it


 No.296824

I'm gonna preface this by saying I'm pissed right now (part in why I'm writing this) but also suffer from being a manic-depressive Bipolar Schizophrenic with Inattentive ADHD (amongst other things), so don't expect any sort of consistency in this ramble.

It all started before I was conceived. Let's just set the scene for now. Before me, my mother had my older brother, a low-functioning Asperger's-having John Lennon's style literally rose-tinted glasses-wearing long hair-balding fat Communist anti-White pro-Native American furry Second Life catfishing wishing-to-transition bisexual. Try saying that ten times fast, Jesus fucking Christ. My younger brother is everything you would think of when you think of the words "annoying runt". He literally should not be alive. His fetus so much as had a heartbeat when he was so young it shouldn't've been possible, but also my mother was having some sort of complications that I don't know too much about, but I guess my slut-whore of a mother's snatch picked up some disease somewhere that helped her become a fucking brood queen. It is important to bring up the age difference for the older brother, who I shall henceforth call John, and myself is 11 months, and the age difference for the younger brother, who I shall henceforth call Jack because he's a fucking jackass, is somewhere between 6 and 7 and a half years because I honestly have no fucking clue how old he his despite being told multiple times and having grown up with him, mostly. Somewhere in there is also literally seven abortions. I was dodging bullets like Neo out of the Matrix before I was fucking born. Also, my younger bother also has Asperger's but is moderate functioning, is a drug dealer drug addict manlet with a slew of young-crimes or whatever the fuck they're called. He once held a girl in a restaurant at knife point and threatened to kill her if she didn't give him $1,000.00 right there. He didn't know her, and this is after he ran away from child prison for like a month and a half, that's how they found him. He was high as a kite on something.

I've already come down and want to die.

How do I even salvage this? After looking through some pictures on my computer, and subsequently uploading one, also here is the playlist I'm listing to right now just to get these thoughts out of my head https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r5IUYmpbIoU&list=PLiNRTdSDh6-XbKxn79tBKCUBzH7vjOmPF&index=2 , I think I'll just straight talk about myself and we'll see what happens next.


 No.296825

The advent of Jesus Christ in the next few years is more likely than me living to see 30. I have wanted to die everyday for more than 10 years. I was in middle school when the reality of everything in the world hit. Say whatever the fuck you want, at that age I had already seen numerous people literally die, and including seeing my own mother be subsequently beat to death and then be revived by paramedics. I'm an Optimist, much to my dismay. Most were to drugs, other's I've blocked out. I think some were murdered, you'll see why I think that, probably. Also, while I think about it, I'm a rape baby. Unlike my other brothers, I'm not a manlet. We all have different dads (big fucking shock), I am literally the biggest living member of my family on either sides. It's not even close.

I have been abused all my life. I currently live in a literal closet. When I was little my mother sold me out to two drug addicts to be raped in exchange for more drugs. Not the same same guy who beat her and stuff, but two others. Also, the guy who beat her to death was her husband she broke up with. She's been married several times. Four, I think. She is currently lesbian married to some short dyke whom she literally beats. The dyke is also a drug addict and a alcoholic. My mother is also those things. Where am I going with this. I'm trying to keep this pure by just being myself, but you can clearly see why that is a bad idea. Yes, abused. I can't tell you how many times I've actually been raped and molested. I draw a difference in them with molestation being no penetration. Also, those two guys drugged me and raped me, I don't remember the ending of it because of that. I've been otherwise touched by people, but it's blurry. My mother has felt me up and tried to have sex with me. Even when I was older she tried this, but I am / was so much bigger than her I told her to "fuck off" and she slapped me in the face. I did nothing. That little amount of pain is nothing, and I honestly think I have Stockholm Syndrome because I am a criminally classified Class 3 Sadomasochist. They score it from 0 to 4. 1-2 involves consent, 3-4 involves involuntary in either which way. I rapid cycle (going through emotion quickly due to the Bipolar disorder I have) and it's literally better than an orgasm a lot of the time. I sometimes literally gasp. Can you even begin to imagine how much that fucks up a person? Do have such profound problems than therein sometimes give you so much pleasure? I was a child literally pulling out my own teeth in the back of my mother's car on the way into town thinking "This feels good. Why does this feel good?".


 No.296826

I missed things I had meant to say, there. I hit people growing up. I am extremely maladjusted. I think I want affection, but I genuinely don't because I know from a completely objective standpoint that it means nothing. I have literally never loved anyone platonically or otherwise, I have literally never wanted to have sex with anyone but am also an extreme sexual degenerate when it comes to masturbation. There is no contradiction there. I once fucked an apple, three dogs and a cat. I once beat a puppy because it was forced onto me. I remember riding on the highway with my mother driving and somebody in the driver's side seat and because I was having too much fun too loudly my mother threw my Happy Meal Wizard of Oz toy out the window. I literally ripped hair from her head for that. I've tried to kill my older brother. My first thoughts when I met him as a child, because keep in mind we had different fathers and had never met each other up to that, was something along the lines of "Who the fuck is this chump?" because even as children I knew he had a better life than me (I lived with mom, he lived with grandparents). Anyways, long story short, I tried to kill him with sharp objects multiple times but because he was slightly so much older he was slightly also so much faster than me. The last time, I went to strike him and I fell into an oil lamp and burned a third of the skin on my hand off. I had to go the hospital like everyday for like two and a half weeks, afterwards .

I'm too tired and apathetic now to continue. It's always like this. Everyone's at fault, everyone but me unironically. My entire life has been taken from me. Arguably, before I was even born. I am literally one of the most Robots. I've just scratched the surface. How I wish I cared enough to write a manifesto, but I exist in a constant duality. I'm so scared. I wish things were good. I wish to be held, but another person touching me would fuck me up more than most intentional physical abuse. I don't want to be loved, I hate too much. Nothing about me is anything in particular. I'm going to go masturbate and then go to sleep. When I wake up in the morning, none of this will have meant anything. I won't care. I'm going to be homeless again soon. I just wish to be left alone. I don't want to die.


 No.296836

File: 39ba090b386c4b7⋯.jpg (51.11 KB, 500x665, 100:133, 39ba090b386c4b716ac18ed70d….jpg)

>>296825

>The advent of Jesus Christ in the next few years is more likely than me living to see 30

More likely than you think


 No.296838

>>296824

>>296479

Why was this posted twice?


 No.296849

>>296803

Usually you follow around a guy that knows what he is doing. There tends to be a handful of apprentices in a company that trains them. Your hours start whenever the company starts working.

Good thing about it is that there's not that many people you need to interact with (a small group at most) and you get paid a bit.

There may also be some classroom training, but that varies from country to country.


 No.296857

Sage because I know it's off-topic, but I don't know where to ask this and I know somebody here would have the answer.

I just got a board out of claims and am renovating it. (Board to remain secret, I've got my reasons sorry). I've made some very simple color changes in the stylesheet, but the board CSS won't update. Cleared cache, refreshed page, logged in from a different computer even. These weren't major changes just an as simple as can be swap that should work. I made a post and reply as well and still nothing changed. Do I need to do something to force the changes, or does it just take time for things to happen server side? If there's a more appropriate board to ask these low-end CSS questions I'd appreciate it. /css/ is /css/, /csshelp/ is 404'd, and I doubt /tech/ wants to bother with questions like this.


 No.296885

>>296857

>>>/tech/

this is a feels thread kike


 No.296890

>>296885

Like /tech/ wants to bother with such elementary questions. Issue is resolved anyways I just had to wait.


 No.296892

File: 961d490a699ac46⋯.jpg (74.78 KB, 408x274, 204:137, 961d490a699ac465fe498f8b59….jpg)

>>296885

His feel was "that feel when the CSS won't update", obviously.


 No.296941

>>296857

>I doubt /tech/ wants to bother with questions like this

So you put it on /r9k/ instead? Anyway, this sort of question belongs in the /tech/ questions sticky.


 No.296976

I'm hikki and get $500 in autismbux but I'm still nervous about my future. Am I still going to have it in 30 years? If not, then homelessness is my future. I have this uneasy feeling, fear I guess, that one day I'm going to be homeless, living on the streets.


 No.296992

>>296973

Didn't you post a thread before with a discord link? Fuckoff, faggot.


 No.297006

>>296976

What country? Is it sjw welfare babby tier? If so you might go under the radar as another potential welfare voter


 No.297008

>>297006

U.S. I just question the stability of SSI for long-term.


 No.297019

File: 785bb1d768eb779⋯.jpg (53.41 KB, 500x385, 100:77, Phenomenon-of-Floating-500….jpg)

I nearly stayed up all night last night because my sister and her son decided to wake up at 4am so they could talk loud and make breakfast.This type of tiredness is a weird feel because It's like I'm not really here or as if I'll wake up from a dream. It feels almost euphoric.


 No.297037

>>296807

I think I'll leave this site soon then, we should find another place.


 No.297098

>tfw 6'6 lanklet faggot

>have always had insecurities about my height

>constantly feel like I tower over everyone around me

>worry that I physically impose myself on normal people and make them uncomfortable

>tried different hairstyles, wearing baggy clothes and horizontal stripes

>people still fucking notice me no matter what

I don't get it, I'm completely unremarkable otherwise. For once in my life I'd just like to blend in and not feel like a circus elephant when I walk into a room full of people. I'm tired of feeling like a big, gross ape-man everywhere I go.


 No.297099

Sorry if this is a dumb question, but why do people say "a thread died for this" (besides it being the latest and greatest in cool put downs)? We already have threads stay up for months, we have more threads than active IPs right now. If a thread is on the last page, don't you think it's there for a reason? And if you were so upset about threads dying, why not just periodically necro them?

I'm a dabbling necromancer myself but after more than a year of doing it here, I was forced to admit the reality that a lot of old threads have ran their course and there's nothing really left to say. I haven't really made up my mind about any of this though, I just wanted to throw it out there as an idea and see what you guys think.


 No.297100

>>297098

>be short

>insecure bc manlet

>be tall

>insecure bc lanklet

>be average

>insecure bc not different

It just never ends, does it? I'm 5'8" and while I've mostly made my peace with it (I'm not that tiny, and I doubt my social problems are due to height alone) I would trade heights with you any day. Isn't 6'5" the ideal chad height? Niqqa you're within 1" of that.


 No.297150

>>297100

But I don't want to be chad, I want to be a complete nobody. I want to be able to go into a store and not have the skank at the cash register remind me of my curse


 No.297160

>>297099

I guess it's more about saying that the new thread is shittier than the old one that died, so it's not a worthwhile trade. Plus even if an old thread has run its course, you might still want to check back in to read it again, or maybe you missed it when it was active.


 No.297171

File: 43f63034633a10e⋯.jpg (16.75 KB, 385x387, 385:387, 1344250391553.jpg)

My life is nothing but stress and regret. I can't wait to die.


 No.297173

>>297099

People would rather have a decent thread that is inactive for months, which no one even cares about, than the dumb, low-effort, nigger IQ level threads that we occasionally get from cuckchan and discord spammers. Otherwise, I kinda get where you're coming from. I get this nagging sensation that we're either going to get stuck recycling the same topics over and over or we're just going to stop talking about certain things because we've already had that conversation. This isn't just a problem with /r9k/ though. Any board around our level of activity and minimal amount of users starts to run into this problem.


 No.297212

Every time I visit /pol/ I just get depressed, since I'm reminded of how much nothing matters and we've already lost. How do I get rid of the unending sense of dread and despair?


 No.297232

>>297212

>Stop caring about other people and what will happen after you die

>Lose yourself in hobbies and other pursuits, preferably separated from average modern life

Works for me. It will probably not be so easy for you though if you were really committed to those ideals. Personally I realized I never really cared that much about that stuff to begin with, so it was easier to let go. Though things still bother me sometimes, and I am occasionally disgusted when I encounter certain aspects of the world.


 No.297235

>>297212

Normalfags either don't care or are ok with all the shit thats happening. They'll do anything they can to stop you from saving them, so let them get what they deserve and asked for. And assuming you're white and hate whats happening to white people, remember that most white people would call you a neo-nazi and go against you if you dare criticize whats happening to white races. Its not like everyone has a gun held up to their heads and are begging to be saved, they're happily supporting all the shit thats happening and saying shit like "Yes! Remove free speech so we can shut those trolls up!"


 No.297240

>>297212

>we've already lost

It's been worse than this before and we came back.


 No.297241

>>297240

>It's been worse than this before

When was that?


 No.297243

>>297241

The only possible thing I can think that he might be referring to is the 1960s counterculture movement.


 No.297266

>>297243

Never heard of that, can you elaborate?


 No.297268

it’s only been 3 days of school and I already want to start skipping classes again. I just barely passed my classes last semester (and failed and dropped one) but it took me about two months to get to this point last year. I probably skipped a few weeks overall and didn’t hand in most of my stuff, but now I’m in a much worse course load and I haven’t even made it a single fucking week.


 No.297271

File: 3729ae6f8daf1fc⋯.jpeg (37.7 KB, 640x320, 2:1, 46399BF0-E7EA-41BC-88DA-A….jpeg)

>>297266

Not him but in the 60’s with the sexual revolution and so many retards on acid (acid is based when used by smart people), if during those times you were to talk about being into cucking on a talkshow you would be commended for “being out there maaaan”. “ Degeneracy” (pol normalchad talk) is not even the issue, the social climate is; when you cant even call faggot niggers faggot niggers you know the social enviroment is in the deep end, soon there will probs be a rise in hard right wingers which is also retarded ala:”You dont think/live the same? UR WRONGGG!!!” Literally no fun allowed, i just hope that the modern more advanced science can literally assblast retards on both sides with scientific facts about the human brain and how psychedelics/ other recreational CAN be used right by non brainlet zoomers or the 60’s “bloomers”, all in all we’re in for a rough ride of politcal change in the next 2-10 years. But before that its gotta become so bad that people realise complete hedonism is not the way.

In short its gonna be REAL BAD soon with megacorp censoring.

Ps to be in line with thread

>when you agreed to go on vaction with your normscum family but are retarded so you dont realise that week has your re-sits s tests for classes so you gotta retake that class, and you barely study for the next set of tests cause its hot asf and your retarded.

Kill me now


 No.297288

>>297268

If it makes you feel better im using a sickness to try and avoid going to school, and hoping i get autodropped because i was away for too long. I have no idea or motivation to pursue a career, my brain is too tired for this


 No.297297

>>297268

>>297288

This happened to me about 2 years ago. I just stopped going to classes, laid in bed all day. Failed or dropped most and got Cs in the rest. Missed the next semester's registration deadline and auto-dropped out. I've been a NEET ever since.


 No.297298

File: 82751a130a30852⋯.png (155.02 KB, 500x466, 250:233, 82751a130a308523876516f39d….png)

I hate normalfags i want to kill them all.


 No.297304

File: 5be3ebcee2c80d7⋯.jpg (17.94 KB, 466x270, 233:135, 1432239921423.jpg)

>go on road trip with my father to see the place I was born because he wants to "bond with me" despite being too grown

>trip almost got cancelled because he was bitching about "bad weather" that will dissipate by night, wants to instead see my mom who went on a business trip with the rest of the family to go gamble and other shit because he is a pudgy pussy who can't stand being away from her for more than a day

>figures out that I'm right and we decide to go

>bitches about the tiny mistakes I make while driving even though he takes his hands off the steering wheel and looking at his phone

>"huehuehue can't you handle my truck boy"

>have to off-road at one point, starts losing his shit about going in the mud and that I should crawl at 15kmh, says it will pull us in even though there isn't drop on the sides of the road or loose gravel, has a massive truck like an American even though he seldom hauls anything and makes fun of Americans, he just has it for pseudo-masculine reasons

>gets offended when I say I don't like his music which is dad rock and top 40 pop e.g. ACDC and Bruno Mars

>"look at Walmart killing all the local businesses" as we pass through gas station towns

>make it to town, the whole place has been gentrified due to the university, portion of main street is franchise restaurants and car dealerships

>aside from the old plazas everything is fucking gone and developed on

>"look at this dingy little motel let's go to the Holiday Inn haha!"

>brought up how he just criticized Walmart and is now giving money to a big franchise

>gets flustered and says life changes and you gotta evolve, speaking down to me like a dog

>check in, get some dinner

>everyone is staring at us as we're (he) obviously dopey cityslickers

>orders enough food to satisfy a poor family of 5

>doesn't finish any of it

>drops utensil on the floor, tell him to pick it up, says the staff will get it, try to get it myself but it's far on his side

>go back to hotel, ushers me to talk to 5 blonde sports girls all out of my league

>yells at Donald Trump on the TV before going to bed

>snoring keeps me up all night

>see pre-school I went to, kind woman who remembers us welcomes us in, diversity and equality plastered everywhere

>rushes the trip and leaves a day early as with everything I do with him

>keeps pesking my driving while later he almost crashes into a fucking car

>get home, he once again ignored that no bonding was done because he doesn't want to face that his son is disconnected from the rest of the family

>I inherit everything from my parents and as I get older I will be as simple and brash as them because the mind and body just gets old, every interaction with him or any family for a prolonged period it makes me question living


 No.297309

>>297271

>(acid is based when used by smart people)

Smart people don't use the word based (so I recommend you stay far away)


 No.297311

>>297271

Lurk for 10,000 years.


 No.297319

File: 38013ef8b32c841⋯.gif (1.5 MB, 550x400, 11:8, 1485239201448.gif)

I truly don't know what I'm doing with my life and its worrying me a lot. People always say to make a career out of something that you are passionate about but I truly don't have passion for anything. I've decided to go to a community college for certificates in construction because its a practical career(I'm a bit of a brainlet) but I'm afraid I've made a bad career choice. What if I'm squandering my potential by making a bad decision and what if this still doesn't get me a job. My family all have occupations they seem enjoy but I just chose something that may not be a good idea.

What do I do ? Have I made the right choice ? What are better career choices ?


 No.297323

>>297309

Liar, the smartest people use the word based


 No.297325

>>297319

Maybe passion is too strong a word for your case. How about consider what you like spending your time doing, or what you have some existing competence in. For example I am going for an IT cert because I have some existing tech experience, I spend lots of time with computers, and I think it won't be as physically or mentally taxing as my alternatives. Is it my passion? Not really, I don't really have a passion similar to you. But it does give me some potential for a cushy job with decent earnings in the future, and my other options don't really come close. And I don't DISLIKE tech which I think is important.


 No.297326

>>297325

>which I think is important

I mean it's important not to dislike your choice.


 No.297328

>>297325

I spend my time watching anime or movies, collecting random images, playing video games,listening to music and reading. At one point I tried programming but it felt like I was getting nowhere so I just gave up. I don't have depression but I feel like I suffer from anhedonia. There isn't anything I have real competence in because I've spent my life doing nothing


 No.297329

File: 17b7b68fc688533⋯.png (1.34 MB, 865x1194, 865:1194, 17b7b68fc688533c00c41fe8a9….png)

I can't figure out if finding about netorare and being extremely paranoid and afraid of being cheated on to the point of having a (possibly) 'irrational' fear and hatred of women and being a paranoid schizophrenic are linked.


 No.297331

>>297328

I guess then it would be best to try and narrow it down to things you don't hate.


 No.297334

I am literally the opposite of what interests girls. I have no hope of ever meeting a girl who is interested in me, let alone "the one" who is perfectly compatible. Here are my observations so far. Girls like dominant, strong, passionate, energetic men. I am submissive, weak, apathetic, and lethargic. Girls like men who are physically attractive, with strong jawlines, good hygiene, and a muscular physique. I have an average/weak chin, can't muster the energy to shower more than 6 times a year, and weigh less than 110 lbs (i.e. skeleton physique). Girls like confident, charismatic, well-adjusted men. I am anxious and withdrawn, taking the concept of "wallflower" to the next level. I never confront anybody no matter how they wronged me. I am quiet and scared. Not only that but I'm not even willing to change myself. Anytime I try and pretend to be a "masculine man" I instantly feel foolish because I know I can't pull it off. People instantly detect that I'm acting. There's no way to transmute a man from true beta to true alpha. The most I could do is live a lie, but I don't have the energy for that. It's too exhausting and the amount of learning required is absurd. I will never meet a woman who loves me for who I am.

What sparked this line of thinking was watching a video, where a man was talking about relationships and "what women want." He talked about how you have to play these head-games, be unpredictable and dominant. That this is what women love. None of this was new to me, but I all of a sudden realized how very far away that is from who I am. How much energy would be required for me to act like that, when I can't even muster the energy to leave my room. And how in all this time that I'm sitting here alone, men and women in my age group are surely pairing up and improving their relationship skills. Thus raising the bar for entry higher and higher as I grow older. A goal which was unfathomable yesterday becomes impossible tomorrow. And even knowing this, I am still not spurred to action. I can only dully reflect on my own lack of progress and ability.

I want to meet a girl. I want to be happy. So why am I so far away? How is it even possible for a male of my species to be in such a sorry state? Worthless, and not even motivated to gain worth. Those like me should have been bred out millions of years ago. My brain should reject these submissive traits. My body should cry out for me to improve it. Yet I feel nothing. Just a dull, empty loneliness pounding in my head. Like I'm trapped in a black hole.


 No.297336

>>297319

Sure wish there were some practically obtainable work I could find some joy in doing. I just want to NEET free and not forcibly be stripped of the ability to enjoy a good 1/3 of my life. My stop-gap solution atm is listening to music and such on the job as an escape to try and take myself out of it. Lucky enough to have a job where I can do that much at least, I guess. It's enough to have kept me from breaking down thus far anyway, but the future seems kind of bleak.


 No.297337

>>297334

Whining about not washing yourself is laughable. Its like some bitch whinging nobody wants to eat out her septic tank cunt that reeks like a mass grave. Start showering twice a day at some trigger (after/before bed, at some given hours) so you don't have to think about it or forget it and keep at it until its second nature. The trick is automating the simple stuff you have to do so it stops being an act of will to keep it up. Start today since picking when to start is also a hurdle so just vault over it straight away.

"Manliness" seems to be very function-oriented. Its not really maleness. Its that plus doing various shit. Timid people became tough all the time through history, usually prompted by necessity in form of some direct threat, you can reproduce that artificially by forcing some harsh daily routines.

If you're bothered about not being any of those things then you can grow into some of the behavioral patterns and physical capabilities you want, no point in pretending its impossible. If you're bothered with not being all of those things then I get that. Most men don't start with a good deck by default since women are hypergamous, if something's common then its not valued. It would be nice to be that 5%, yeah. But that's a bit like not being able to get over not being born into a rich family. At some point you have to let go.

> I will never meet a woman who loves me for who I am.

But even if you were inherently tough and assertive would that be the essence of you anyway, since these are things that can increase or decrease? Are ass and tits the essence of a woman's personality? Peoples' sexualities are animalistic and superfluous, don't get caught up in the fairy tale crap about mystical love life that's supposedly happening out there. Its mostly just a billow of smoke some commercial piece of fiction blew up your ass ages ago. 99% of the time its nothing more than elaboration on animal comfort. Don't think most people grow and improve as the age either. Most stagnate after 20 and actually slowly degrade from like 25.

>Worthless, and not even motivated to gain worth. Those like me should have been bred out millions of years ago. My brain should reject these submissive traits. My body should cry out for me to improve it. Yet I feel nothing. Just a dull, empty loneliness pounding in my head. Like I'm trapped in a black hole.

Well, maybe the motivation is the problem? Try to reframe what you want and plot a clear path towards it (that might be the biggest challange), it might click for you with some iteration.


 No.297339

>>297337

Reading your post gave me the same feeling the video gave me. These things are said as if they're so simple and natural. Just do this, this, and that, and you'll be set to go. The feeling that I'm trying to convey (and likely failed in my previous post, but no matter) is that such things are incredibly distant for me. It's like seeing an Olympic athlete say "Just train and you can be like me." That's the difference between you and me. You are so far above and beyond me, I don't think you can even relate to how much of a failure I am. It's like I said, evolution should have wiped out people like me long ago.

I can't do routines. There is nothing that is "automatic" for me, except maybe basic functions like breathing and chewing. It's beyond a matter of willpower even (of which I have none), I mean I will literally and for no reason at all do something (or stop doing something), regardless of how much it's in my interest to do it, or how long I've been doing it for. I have screwed myself over at many points in my life, not because I had a reason to, or thought it was a good idea at the time, or anything like that. I just did it and that was that. I dropped out of college because I didn't feel like going to classes anymore, even though they were easy and I would have been set for life with my major. Just laid down in bed one day and gave up for no reason. I've racked up thousands of dollars of debt, ignored my payments for months, trashed the letters, then one day started selling my possessions in a panic because I realized I only had a few months before I got a knock on the door. At one point I emptied my bank account of over $1k into a shitty gacha game.

These are just examples of how chaotic and meaningless my daily life is. It's not rational, order can't be imposed onto it because there isn't even a framework for that. I am someone who never formed basic habit-forming skills like brushing your teeth every day. Imagine trying to teach language to an adult who never learned any languages in childhood. I know this all probably seems really stupid to you, and it certainly is stupid. Very stupid and yet it's my fucking nature at this point. It doesn't matter if I want something, it's just a "want," not a tangible goal to be worked towards. I will die on the streets when my parents stop putting up with my bullshit.

(Also on the "women won't love me for who I am" point, I am saying that in order for a woman to be interested in me at all, I would have to literally be a different person. And faking 24/7 just isn't something I can do.)


 No.297343

>>297339

>These things are said as if they're so simple and natural.

They are natural, you just live an unnatural existence w/o fire lit under your ass by a bunch of drunk tribal retards

>Just do this, this, and that, and you'll be set to go.

No, not "just do eet", Just do it this and that way. It will still whip your ass but you're more likely to stick to it the fist (or second or fourth) time around. Struggle is a thing that is very distant to you, because of the time scales cause and effect exist in modern life. You can lay there forever before you're fucked but when you're fucked its almost impossible to do anything about it. That's counter intuitive for us, we were chasing rabbits five minutes ago, evolutionary speaking. Now were in cubicles writing tp reports on the next 3 quarters and planning our finances for fuck knows how far into the future.

You fell into a developmental trap, yes. Trap set by the odd circumstance of modern life. Now get out of it.

>You are so far above and beyond me, I don't think you can even relate to how much of a failure I am.

I'm exactly like you when it comes to my original output rate, but I have been working myself over for the last fuck knows how many years and I keep slowly improving. Its a fight. Life is that, its never anything but that, man. Leisure and shit are anomalies. In the grim darkness of rightthefucknow there's only war. Sure a lot of people get it right first time around, driven by some banal drive for status, possessions or pussy reinforced by their peers they hang out around much more than you did but then they tend to waste the next 90% of their conscious life and fester into a puddle of rancid elephant semen anyway so don't get overpowered by the sense of waste. Waste is ubiquitous in humanity.

>I can't do routines. There is nothing that is "automatic" for me

You need routines precisely because very little is automatic. Routines are automation that you brute force into your life and then maintain at a much lower cost. You can use tricks like time triggers I mentioned to streamline the building of routines themselves, use less "willpower juice" and avoid relapsing, but it'll still feel like climbing a cliff. Also willpower is a trait that you need to train. A bunch of glands and wires in your brain that need to be turned up by increased activity.

> in order for a woman to be interested in me at all, I would have to literally be a different person.

Well thats something you have to become anyway, listen to yourself: you're falling apart like that infinity war meme, just very slowly, too slow for your instincts to kick in. Your mind will have to do the work.

You showered already? Go shower before you reply, ok?


 No.297346

>>297343

Thanks but I feel you are wasting your effort on me. I am not worth it, I just came to the thread to post about a feeling I was experiencing, not to try to turn my life around. I am nowhere near the state where I'd be able to do something so drastic. I've spent the last three years switching between bed and chair. And I know myself well enough to say that even if I did try to take your advice, get myself all hyped up about "self improvement" or whatever, I will inevitably drop it in a few weeks' time. Yes I am speaking from experience, a lot of it.

No I didn't shower, I don't particularly want to shower, I can rationalize in my mind that showering is a good idea but that's not enough to bridge the gap. And unfortunately that's also where my control ends. I might agree with what you said but ultimately it doesn't affect the outcome. The point is that I know what I should do if I want to achieve xyz goals, but I'm not going to do those things for reasons largely unknown to me, and these posts I'm making are shitty attempts at rationalizations to excuse behavior that doesn't occur within a rational context to begin with. Besides if I want to get super rational I would just end up discarding women altogether which is basically my only motivation to do those things to begin with.


 No.297347

>>297346

You wrote all that shit but you didn't shower? I can tell from skimming it. Get back to me when you showered.


 No.297359

My fucking gook roommate had the washing machine and drying running from 1am until now and at 3am she was cooking and doing dishes. Ear plugs help but it’s still audible to hear the machines and dishes and shit, since my room is st the end of the hall and all sound funnels down to it. What sort of inconsiderate dumb fuck do you have to be to make so much noise in a shared house all fucking night? Why the fuck not do any of that during the day when everyone is awake? Not only that she plays her music or T.V. so loud, then claims it sounds normal to her because she doesn’t know what a normal sound level is. Then I text her to turn it down and she pretends to not get it for hours. She yells every time she speaks and actually screeches sometimes for no fucking reason, she has two cats that have never left her room and occasionally scratch at her door and meow. I hate her so much, she is the single reason why I would not want to be home at any point.


 No.297368

>>297359

Is it an actual gook or a chink? I lived with chinks, and the experience has convinced me genocide is the only option. They're always loud because they talk loud. Their language is tonal, and speaking quietly results in easy miscommunication when the changes in pitch are more difficult to hear. So they talk loud, and when you spend your whole life basically yelling indoors it makes other things seem not so loud.


 No.297379

>>297368

Philippino. I believe she’s lived here for at least half of her life (~10 years, assume she’s about my age), but she has the most ear scratching accent. I used to work with a lot of Philippinos, none of them yelled, or had such unpleasant accents. Lots only ever used their phone on speaker, but I noticed that seemed to be a thing all third worlders did. Other than that they were never loud.

The breaker box is in my room and her room is on only a single circuit, but she has a lot of shit plugged, and a microwave and a stove element apparently which are both high draw items. So the first few weeks she constantally overloaded the circuit so I had to flip it back, which means I know exactly which breaker is for her room (their not labeled). I think when I get back home from classes today I’ll flip the fuse and deprive her of power for a bit, maybe a 24 hour period. The electrician has had to come before because she keeps blowing the fuse and the house and breaker are so old that stuff has gone wrong. So as soon as I hear the electrician is to come I’ll flip the fuse back to on. I can make her life a bit worse for the rest of the semester because she’s a fucking loud cunt and won’t understand what’s going on because she’s also laughably dumb.


 No.297381

>>297379

Never had to deal with flips. I've noticed the speaker phone thing also with basically every third worlder. Kind of wondering why they do that. Very rarely do I see whites or American blacks doing it. I had a dumbshit roommate once who didn't like that the exhaust fan in the bathroom came on automatically when you flipped the lights. Of course this setup was because idiots leaving the fan off caused a bunch of mold some years ago so they rewired them to the same switch. I was curious why there was a second, dead switch on the wall so I asked maintenance about it and this is why. Roommate shoved a fork in the fan blades to keep it from turning. It's a wonder the place didn't burn down.


 No.297389

>>297019

I experience this state quite often and it is weird. On the one hand, you're tired as hell and you can't sleep, but you are in state of calmness and peace that makes getting up very uncomfortable.


 No.297393

File: 0d2d271e4f968a8⋯.png (826.36 KB, 1600x840, 40:21, 0d2d271e4f968a82e68556e28f….png)

>tfw generally knowledgeable about a variety of subjects, but not particularly great at any one thing

>due to a lack of specialization, I have little to no clear career paths ahead of me

>tfw 26 year old NEET now and trying to work out some kind of decent living for myself

Each day I feel like I'm inching closer and closer to becoming irreparably fucked. I have some knowledge in programming and I thought I could try to work towards freelance programming, but I have no idea where to even start. I don't know what programming languages to focus on, what projects/exercises to complete to improve my skills, how to get work as a freelancer, etc. I just don't know what to do. Any anons have any experience with this or any advice?


 No.297445

Happy birthday to me. 25 years old and not a thing to show for it. If I'm lucky I'm at least a quarter of the way through my life, maybe even half who knows, and I've wasted every minute so far.


 No.297447

>>297445

Average male lifespan is about 70-75. You're a third of the way done. Also, old enough to rent a car in most states.


 No.297495

>>297478

I honestly don't think you belong here.


 No.297498

>>297478

Have you considered suicide? Might be tough because you’re too young to buy a gun but there are alternatives.


 No.297500

>>297495

a 23 yo kissless virgin doesn't belong in r9k?

>>297498

>Have you considered suicide?

Many times


 No.297502

I haven't showered in 2 months.


 No.297504

>>297500

No, now back to cuckchan.


 No.297505

>>297500

>a 23 yo kissless virgin doesn't belong in r9k?

It's not that you're a kissless virgin. It's that you're still obsessed with roastie meat. You get your shit the least bit together and start freaking out because a woman paid attention to you. This isn't a dating advice board. This isn't a relationshit board. This isn't a place where we encourage each other to self-improve so we can get out there and smash some puss like the chads do.


 No.297506

>>297505

I'm not obsessed with roasties, that came out of nowhere.

This is the feels thread, just sharing a kinda good but really confusing one


 No.297507

>>297502

A few months here too, I don't remember exactly how many. I always tell myself I'll start showering regularly, but it never happens. Showering causes my psoriasis to flare up and skin of my lips to peel off more. My lips are always cracked and peeling though. When not showering I have to deal with dampness from sweat mixed with dead skin stuck to my underwear and shirt. Existing is extremely uncomfortable, but I guess it could be worse.

>>29756

If you had lurked before posting you would've known that your shitty feels are unrelatable and unwanted. I know someone who was exactly the same as you at your age, once he lost his virginity he quickly became an outgoing normalfag. You're just a late bloomer, on the brink of normalfaggotry. Either go make her your girlfriend or go back to cuckchan. Whatever your choice, it doesn't matter, so long as you stop posting here.


 No.297509

>>297502

>>297507

August reporting in. You're not alone.


 No.297514

>>297506

The fact that you care at all makes you sound more like a failed normalfag than anything else.


 No.297520

>>297505

Oh, fuck, truwizzie 17 yo spotted.


 No.297525

>>297520

Fuck off back to cuckchannel with the rest of the subhumans.


 No.297535

File: ac1640e0920521b⋯.png (32.15 KB, 289x300, 289:300, cuck.png)

>>297478

You newfolk make it very easy, getting yourself banned that is.


 No.297537

>>297507

Try wiping yourself down instead of showering. Preferably with something soft. Not a medical expert but just my input. I don't think getting you to shower is realistic but you should still try to keep clean in some way.


 No.297539

>>297520

Fuck off back to wizchan with the rest of the tru wiz teenagers.


 No.297542

File: f7f7b251534d753⋯.jpg (24.5 KB, 800x600, 4:3, istock-136995804.jpg)

>>297537

Maybe that would work if done regularly. But after months of not showering, maybe even as little as a few weeks, if I only wipe myself with a wet cloth and then use a towel to dry myself, the towel and my body will be covered with loose bits of dead skin. To prevent that from happening I need to shower and scrape off the layers of dead skin from my entire body with my fingernails. The best way I can think to describe it is like running your fingernail over a stick of butter, that's similar to how the dead skin builds up and overflows from my fingernails. For my arms I rub my hands over them and what results is similar to the waste left behind from an eraser, only far larger and made of skin. For my feet I need to use a pumice stone. All that hassle is just because of my overall dry skin. My psoriasis is only on my hands, hopefully it doesn't develop anywhere else, but I consider that one of the worst parts of the body for psoriasis. Once it flares up it's hard to get rid of using a specialized lotion. Washing your hands several times a day is unavoidable and that keeps the skin in an irritated state. When it gets bad enough that the skin cracks open, washing your hands and the movement required for everyday tasks ensures that the crack stays open for quite some time. I think it would be a lot easier to deal with anywhere else on the body.


 No.297544

>>297542

I know the exact kind of shit you're talking about. Builds up pretty fast on me if I don't shower for just a few days. It's like a combination of all the dirt from around you, the dead skin cells peeling off you, and the natural oils and sweat of your body holding it together. I don't know if scraping it off with your fingernails is the best way to get rid of it, but I don't know how well body washes and vigorous soaping will help.


 No.297546

>>297542

They make these abrasive handmit things. Same principle as the pumice just not as coarse. I use that to scrape the gunk off. I'm very oily and bathe irregularly, though I don't get to the month mark.


 No.297552

Fear of disappointing my parents prevents me from doing most anything I'd want to do. Don't want a family, but I also get the fear that by eschewing family I'll die alone and unfulfilled. I struggle with finding a purpose or meaning for my existence.


 No.297557

File: 4df715b293ffeba⋯.png (272.64 KB, 1100x460, 55:23, 6032116_orig.png)

Is there a word to describe a person who would rather stay in bed and sleep, hoping to die rather than wake up, who hardly even leaves bed to eat so just starves?

>be me

>fall in love with a biof*moid in high school

>never make a move

>ffwd 5 years later, 20 yrs old, diagnosed with moderate-to-severe mdd and severe anxiety

>also have migraines and vertigo

>probably eligible for neetbux but haven't recieved them yet

>parents disappointed in me

>recently prevented from doing a really good job due to recent mental disorder diagnosis

>anorexic hypersomniac

>concentration, memory are extremely bad

>seem stupid due to brain fog, work slowly due to psychomotor retardation but iq is at least 125 and physically fit

>no friends

>eyes always burn like i'm tired, skin is pale from never going outside, yellow teeth

>extremely bitter

What am i supposed to do anons? This is unbearable.


 No.297558

File: 4086b14a5c28693⋯.jpg (51.52 KB, 478x492, 239:246, TA.jpg)

>sign up for a course in professional writing and editing this year

>it's a blazing hot day and my car's aircon doesn't work

>have to park nearly a kilometre away from the campus, already late, sweating and pissed off as I enter the enrollment room

>glance around and quickly find out that roughly 90% of the people attending the enrollment session are roasties

>tell myself I shouldn't be surprised because it's an arts subject, I'll only be there three days a week and there probably won't be any collaborative work

>most of the roasties are middle-aged women who look reasonably normal, except for one

>anorexic, combat boots in the middle of summer, a fucking Eric Harris T-shirt, blue hair, multiple facial piercings and tattoos on their arms

>feel a surge of disgust the kind of which I haven't felt since I had to take sociology classes from an aging Jewish lesbian

>they wave at me but I think that there has to be someone behind me so I ignore it

>after enrollment I storm out of the building so I can just go home and enjoy some peace and quiet

>I hear a woman cry out my name so I think I must have done something wrong on the paperwork or forgotten something

>begin to walk back towards the room and see the same disgusting roastie from earlier holding my Parker Sonnet pen which I got for Christmas a couple of years ago

>"You dropped this!" she exclaims, running up to me

>"Oh, thanks." I reply and suddenly got hit by this overwhelming aroma of cigarettes, sweat and aftershave I remember my father used to wear

>as soon as I take my pen she tucks her arms behind her back and looks at me expectantly

>I realize her eyes are upraised and showing a crazy amount of white despite her head being straight and it reminds me of that sanity eye chart that sometimes get posted

>"Do I know you?" I ask slowly, wondering why a stranger would do that after I thanked them

>she tells me her name and I realize that's the same name as a girl I sometimes used to talk to during lunch break

>we were in different classes but the same year group and always used to read in the library to avoid Chads and Stacys who'd otherwise harass us

>in the last year of high school she stopped appearing and I never saw her again

>I tell her it's nice to see her again because I genuinely thought she killed herself or something like that

>despite the show and dance, she pretends to be surprised that I remember her and says it's nice to see me again and we should get coffee sometime

>I agree, mostly just to get on with my day because I just want to go home before my work shift starts

>as soon as we get off the lift she points straight across the corridor

>"Oh look, there's a cafe!" she says in a tone of voice which informs me she already knew there was one

>I order an espresso while she gets lunch and jokes that even after all this time, I still don't eat lunch

>we talk for nearly ten minutes about school, how much our lives have changed, how different we look, what possessed her to wear that t-shirt, and other small talk I actually sort of enjoyed

>for some reason, practically out of nowhere, she raises the topic of mental health and tells me all about how terribly oppressed she is and how it's all because of her traumatic school life while looking like she was about to cry

>by this time, I'm starting to get afraid she's both insane and thinks we're much closer than we really are

>I actually felt a wave of relief as she received a phone call and she was interrupted

>almost groan as I see her phone cover is a rainbow flag but at least that means it's not the worst case scenario I feared

>she's extremely blunt with the person on the other end of the line and tells me it was her mother and tells me that her parents had the gall to vote against gay marriage

>I ask if she's gay, hoping for the first time in my life that someone would be, but she just says she's very politically active and goes on a tirade about how a group put up evil homophobic propaganda at a university she went to

>she caps this off by admitting that she took part in a protest which practically turned into a riot once antifa showed up

>at this point, I just want to finish my coffee and head home as quickly as possible

>tell her I need to get ready for work so I pay for my drinks and leave

I'll be posting the second part soon.


 No.297559

File: 474a00a2a48fda3⋯.jpg (90.89 KB, 920x690, 4:3, IED.jpg)

>>297558

>she follows me to my car and I start to get a creeping sense of dread, because even though it's in the general direction of a train station, why would you do that?

>"Wow, you're living in luxury!" she laughs at my shit car which is older than I am and adds "Still better than mine!"

>without asking her what she meant she continues to tell me how she doesn't have a car and lives with her parents

>I smile and nod and pretend she doesn't exist but when I get in my car she knocks on my window

>"So, I was thinking we should trade numbers? We'll do it when the course starts anyway."

>I've never traded numbers with anyone I shared a course with, so I mumble "Y-yeah, how ab" >before I can say no, she interrupts me and tells me her number, making me so uncomfortable I can't just drive off without replying so I end up giving her mine

>my phone calls three times as I'm driving home but I don't answer because it's illegal, and I get an emoji-laden message just as I enter my apartment

>"Hi! I bet you were driving, so you couldn't answer! I just forgot to say you're the only person who's ever been nice to me."

>I start to get cold sweats

I'm scared, /r9k/. I think I stepped on a mine and don't know what to do. I fucked up.


 No.297560

>>297557

It's a gamble whether or not this is true but most people who list of there blog issues like that pity themselves and if you do thats the first step to getting a bit better. Disassociate yourself from those labels and try to care less of normalfags and their world.

I can go into more detail on each of these but just remember all these things are very important.


 No.297565

>>297559

What's more important to you, your political views or love? There is no wrong answer, but the ball in is your court my friend. I know that you're dealing with an absolute freak of a human being but clearly she's on your mind, so there must be more to it than that.


 No.297572

>>297565

If he chooses to court that degenerate freak then I hope he never comes here again.

He might be trying to call this degenerate a roastie over and over in his mind to stave off the fact that he might be excited that a girl is taking interest in him for once. That might be the case seeing how much he's typed.

But it also might be the case that he's honest to god disgusted by this freak and wants to autistically rant about on this board


 No.297573

>>297565

The thing is, it's not love. Until December 2018, I hadn't seen her for 3 years. We sat at the same table and talked at lunch time for a few years. I admit, she's probably the closest thing I had to a friend as a teenager, but that's not saying much. I'm concerned about how the hell I'm going to make it through this year, when I'll be spending over 1,000 hours around her. I mean, not to sound like a pussy, but she's already manipulated and pressured me multiple times in a single meeting. I posted because I already feel entrapped by someone who's clearly unstable and probably friends with a gang of thirsty beta orbiters who'd be more than happy to beat me up. If it were just a matter of politics, I'd just shut up about my opinions, like I usually do.


 No.297574

>>297559

Get a new number, stop going to the course, and hope to god she didn't remember your registration number/doesn't get your address from the guys running the course.

Trust me, it will be worth it for avoiding her.

Since you already fell for it once, you're probably similar to me and easily give in to pressure. She'll force herself into your life, ruin your mental and physical health, get as much out of it as she can (be it through work or straight up money) and then fuck off if you do not immediately run away as fast as humanly possible.

I made the wrong decision in a similar situation, don't fuck yourself up like I did.


 No.297578

>>297558

>>297559

Beware of anyone who takes an immediate liking to you. Not because you're not worthy of being someone's friend, but because instant attachment is a very clear sign that they have fabricated some kind of ideal version of you that is most valuable to them. You're the knight in shining armor who will selflessly solve all their problems, pay their debts, treat them like a princess, etc, etc. Given that it sounds like she can't even read the awkwardness you're giving off, chances are she's probably too crazy to understand other people. Most SJW-types are.

Tread carefully. Do not engage. Do not make small talk. Do not humor her.


 No.297580

File: d0ae08a4bde5ad9⋯.png (277.04 KB, 573x578, 573:578, Run Bernie Run.png)

>>297559

This is not the girl for you, be blunt and tell her that you don't feel the same way about her as she does about you. I see a lot of signs of bipolar in that conversation, do not pursue further you'll hate yourself if you do.


 No.297697

File: 1899624c9b7ab49⋯.jpeg (189.42 KB, 1080x1104, 45:46, 6C546FB4-A670-4693-BF2C-A….jpeg)

It's painful to want something and not have it, but I reckon it's worse to not have anything you want. I don't feel like anything could make me feel better, could add joy back into my life. It's disappointing.


 No.297728

File: 75f2db62a91a40d⋯.jpg (58.27 KB, 616x619, 616:619, 2d02ae654de54247d5dc85c915….jpg)

Not sure if this is gross enough to warrant an entire thread on the general topic of "wanting to fuck some family member."

Maybe it'd be better off on a motherless forum post, but I don't want to make an account there.

>when I was younger

>female /fit/ athletic tomboy cousin

>see her and male cousin/her brother a lot, growing up

>lots of various weirdly sexual things, in hindsight

>things like

<drawing porn of characters in the books we both liked

<reassuring her she was hot

<her asking me about jerking off, while we were both in the basement bathroom

<her changing with the door open, and ignoring how I caught a glimpse of her in just her bra in the mirror

<her joking how "that lady probably thought we were a couple" when we were sitting alone together, watching a movie, leaning in close and talking to each other

>probably other examples I'm forgetting.

>realize all this midway in to teenage years, oftentimes pop a boner whenever I'd see her

>started beating off to the thought of fucking her, every day

>wrote fap material about fucking her

>thick as fuck one sided sexual tension, on my end, with me jerking off each day wanting to fuck her

>she comes out as a lesbian

>doesn't stop me from wanting to pound her

>see she's got some bikini pics up, and finally has tits

>cum fucking buckets to said pics

>years go by and I eventually come to my senses,realize that was all in my head, and lose interest in her

>obviously I never tell anyone about this, I just stop wanting to fuck her and start treating her like anybody else

>she then becomes a feminist/SJW, gets a dyke gf, and becomes super fuckin' fat

>jokes about how I'm the only competent/succesful one of the three of us (her, her brother, and I), and how fit I've gotten

>mfw I can't help but wonder if, despite it being guaranteed to be 0%, there was a chance she wanted to ride me as hard as I wanted to fuck her, and me NOT doing that, wound up helping her downward spiral (her dad died when she was like, 8, so the spiral was inevitable)

Also I had a dream the other night, where we were both masturbating and watching eachother do it. Though obviously this was the body of like, 20 year old her, instead of 24 year old her.

TL;DR: Cousin and I used to make oddly sexual remarks to one another, in hindsight. Led to me wanting to fuck her really badly, I never did anything, she eventually became full SJW fat cunt. Am now wondering if my minimal self awareness of "FUCKING COUSIN = BAD" helped cause that.


 No.297736

File: 218a5d9354030a2⋯.gif (658.79 KB, 480x270, 16:9, 490385947.gif)

Fuck I need to go to the buarber tomorrow to get a haircut. Can't not go or do it myself or good wageslave image will take a hit. I just hope whoever cuts my hair doesn't talk.


 No.297738

>>297580

>>297578

>>297574

Thanks for the advice, robots. I'm not sure if I want to go so far as changing everything about my life because I met a crazy person, but I'll definitely make sure she realizes I'm not the emotional crutch she's looking for. I have enough difficulty getting out of bed most mornings as it is, so the last thing I need is a succubus draining away the last shreds of my will to live. I think I'll see how it goes for the first few weeks. For all I know, this could just be what most roasties would be like when they meet an old acquaintance, but I'll pull out of the course and change my phone number if it continues. Sadly, I think that will probably be the case, because I'm getting several texts a day, she's expressed how amazing it is we've been "reunited" and she's mentioned social media. I was looking forwards to that course, too.

>>297572

I was mostly startled at how the quiet mousy girl from my adolescence turned into such a garbage fire. I'm depressed and lonely enough that if she were the person I remember, I might be stupidly falling into the oneitis trap, but that's not the case. It's like seeing a family member after they've suffered a stroke.

>>297728

Oh fuck, your post just reminded me of some truly bizarre shit which happened when I was younger.

>spend a lot of time with at my aunt's place as a kid because I was raised in a single mother household, she was a university student and then her job always took her interstate

>my aunt has a daughter who's a couple of years older than me who was always a bit of a tomboy and tennis fanatic

>we were best friends with one another and always did things together

>our favourite game was roleplaying in arthurian style, except she was the knight, I was a prince and her dog was a dragon/ogre/minotaur/etc.

>we played the game so often that we'd sometimes refer to one another as our fantasy roleplaying names

>my aunt used to have us bathe together whenever I spent the night, until I was about six

>every time we bathed together, she'd wrestle with me, and demand I say something nice about her

>if I refused, she'd try to force my head underwater or slap me until I agreed, and make me kiss her to apologize for being mean

>because I get night terrors, she had my cousin sleep in the same bed as me until I was eleven, which was very embarrassing

>when I was about twelve she suddenly stopped talking with me and started acting really unusual

>one day, when I'm fifteen, she barges into my room, hands me a copy of Guild Wars 2 and insist I play with her because it's free and I have no excuse

>agree, despite being very confused, and quickly come to realize she's not such an intolerable bitch in the game, mostly because she's roleplaying a noble warrior

>see her main is named after the character she used to roleplay as when we were kids, so I name my main after my character

>even though she's just as detached in real life, we slowly start to bond again through Guild Wars 2, then Wildstar, WoW and ESO

>stay at my aunt's house during exam season for the last year of school because it's about an hour's walk away and my mum is interstate again

>the night of my final exams, she's being surprisingly friendly and sympathetic to my concerns, and it feels like we're online

>around midnight, after drinking some beers and downing several shots we decide it's about time to shower and head off to bed

>cousin sneaks into the bathroom while I'm showering and peaks her head through the curtain

>she drunkenly apologizes for hurting me when we were kids, confesses that she thinks she loved me, and has wanted to say sorry for years, but thinks I love her because of our relationship online

>tell her she's just confusing things, I think of her as the older sister I never had and she needs to get some sleep

>we never talk about that night and my cousin moves to Japan, effectively cutting off all contact


 No.297739

File: 540ef084c46f56c⋯.jpg (29.11 KB, 321x189, 107:63, [boner sounds].jpg)

>>297728

>/fit/ tomboy

>becomes super fuckin' fat


 No.297742

>>297728

I swear, its always the tomboys who become SJWs.


 No.297765

>>297738

>think of her as an older sister

Either you're a shockingly sane individual, considering the board we're posting on, or she's ugly. I really can't think of any other reason to not have played in to that and fucked her brains out.

Please tell me she was at least ugly.

>>297739

>erections

I mean she's got full on rolls now.

>>297742

>always the tomboys who become SJWs.

In her defense, she's one: "A woman" and two: "honestly we all thought she was a lesbian since she was maybe 10." She's wrong and a stupid cunt for falling for it, but I can't say she wasn't primed for the brainwashing, especially with her father being dead from a young age.


 No.297771

>>297736

what? cant stand a little friendliness buddy?


 No.297788

File: 6d853b6a297d829⋯.gif (52.36 KB, 900x480, 15:8, fall.gif)

I've been trying to completely devote myself to school and self improvement but I seem to keep falling back into my old ways. The first and most recent goal I've been trying to achieve is to stop watching pornography and to stop masturbating. Watching Porn and Masturbating has been the only thing that helps me get to sleep at night. I don't plan on quitting masturbation but I want to cut out porn. It's so hard because deleting my collection would be terrible.

Any anons actually quit ? How do I do it ?


 No.297789

>>297788

>I don't plan on quitting masturbation but I want to cut out porn.

I mean't to say that I don't plan on quitting masturbation entirely.


 No.297795

>>297771

No, obviously not or I wouldn't have made my post.


 No.297818

File: 90c0e8b7f3683b4⋯.png (172.56 KB, 400x400, 1:1, 92TvECc.png)

>visit other boards forgetting that not every board is r9k

>see anons casually talking about having gfs/sex, and using forums/discord etc.

It's really bizarre.


 No.297819

>>297788

Do you have an overarching end goal to your life? If not, you need to get one. If you do, you need to examine your mindset and either get more serious about it and accept that immediate pleasures aren't as important as achieving that goal, or find a new one.


 No.297821

>>297788

How big is your collection? would you upload it for me?


 No.297828

>>297819

My only end goal is to live a comfy life in a cabin or small apartment reading books.

>>297821

I started the collection not too long ago. Its mostly 3DPD fetish porn videos


 No.297831

>>297818

>>visit other boards

That was your second mistake. Your first one is using the internet at all.


 No.297838

File: 9f761151d289b46⋯.jpg (38.28 KB, 550x413, 550:413, parc-zoologique-de-frejus.jpg)

>>297828

>Its mostly 3DPD fetish porn videos

Nevermind

>>297831

It's not as bad as i make it out to be, it's just strange seeing these types of anons due to spending most of my time here.


 No.297846

>>297828

Yeah if you're a hedonist it's going to be pretty much impossible to motivate yourself to pursue any sort of long-term goal.


 No.297854

>>297818

I remember when people on imageboards blasting out about MUH GF from the skies as if it were relevant to anything were mocked. Now normalfags just posture and preen about their real lives on the internet while scrambling to hop on every new trend. imageboards are largely just fashion accessories and egojerkers for them.


 No.297863

File: dd70e13a4ffa2fc⋯.jpg (236.97 KB, 725x1102, 25:38, Eye.jpg)

>>297860

Mine is better


 No.297869

File: 578af4464f89992⋯.jpg (481.56 KB, 1156x1135, 1156:1135, AVERT YOUR GAZE, PITIFUL M….jpg)

>>297860

>>297863

Pathetic.

oregano


 No.297875

File: 128e572b9ef4a27⋯.gif (2.39 MB, 448x252, 16:9, 1440883308940.gif)

Something that I just don't understand is this cult/celebrity status of Youtubers and (especially) Twitch streamers. Not even counting the roasties who flash their tits on stream (because that's at least understandable with betas having delusional hopes of being noticed by them and snatching them up), but just the average neckbeard can actually have a fanbase that gives them money for playing fucking video games; not even creating something new themselves.

Case in point, these two streamers raised over 5,000 sheckles (and climbing) to film themselves camping for 5 days. In one day. Not only that, but there's only 35 backers. That means, on average, each person gave more than 100 dollarydoos just to finance this bullshit that I'm sure some anons have done for free for the hell of it.


 No.297878

File: 758d2c6e6dc5a9a⋯.jpg (212 KB, 1920x1080, 16:9, amiretarded.jpg)

>>297875

The whole "let's play" thing seems completely alien. And somehow you have entire youtube personas that sprung up around it, with enough fags actually tuning in to passively watch some guy talk about his life while just moving around.


 No.297879

>>297736

Heh.

t.haven't been to the barber in seven years


 No.297882

>>297875

Parasocial relationships, and cults of personality. Why make something new and interesting, and face the very real risk of it never taking off/getting popular, when you can just be a psuedo friend to people more desperate for social interaction and validation than us? Said people will fund the FUCK out of you, just because in the back of their minds, they think you're friends with them.

t. Someone who's spent years making something "original and interesting" and learned hard how the market of patreon/funding is far from a meritocracy.


 No.297883

>Running out of supplies

>Can't get myself to go to the store

>Have to get creative

When I eat ramen I save the flavoring packets and just use sauces and stuff on the noodles. I'm to the point where breakfast was a mustard sandwich and lunch a bag of popcorn. For dinner, however, I was rather satisfied. One Top Ramen flavoring packet added to four cups of boiling water makes a fine soup. Notice this is twice as much liquid as the packaging lists. I found it to be too concentrated at two cups water. Add additional ingredients as you wish. Soy sauce and Sriracha are a good combo. This way that $0.30 packet of noodles now creates two meals. I've got dozens of those packets, but it'll be hell on sodium intake I'm sure.

>>297882

Observation I've made is that your typical normalfaggot thirsts for social interaction. I know it's a common feel here to want interaction, but in really reading what robots say they want deep, caring interaction. This is understandable. I find normalcattle tend to just want lots of surface-level interaction with a bunch of people constantly. Hence partying, clubbing, etc. No deep interaction but lots of shallow interactions. I believe it is also why you will hear from lots of people with boomer parents that they leave the television on constantly because they like the noise. I think it too is a simulacra of common social interaction.

http://archive.is/Qoq4J This article may be relevant. Most people tested were unable to sit alone with their thoughts for 20 minutes. They found 70% of males and 25% of females chose to be painfully electrocuted rather than sit in silence. I'm surprised the women fared better than the men, really.


 No.297887

My mom really wants me to become a normalfag with every fragment of her being. The problem here is that my conscience doesn't allow me to remove my moral barriers to partake in the everyday hedonism that normalfags would. I know that I am capable of achieving the normalfag's definition of "success" if those barriers were spontaneously meaningless to me, but I doubt that will ever happen. I define success as successfully withdrawing from this shitty society.


 No.297906

I still play my PS2 and GameCube. I have a couple newer games on my PC but it's a piece of shit that can't run anything more intensive than skyrim. Am I missing out by not moving on?


 No.297912

>>297906

You're not missing out on much at all since the industry is pure shit these days. However, emulation might be an option for you if you want to play older NES games or handheld games for the PSP, DS and so on.


 No.297931

>>297906

There were some good titles for the Xbox 360/PS3, but if your PC can run Skyrim it can run all of those I'm sure. Only thing in the PS4/Xbox One generation I can recommend is Bloodborne.


 No.297939

>>297906

>have an xbone (that I often regret purchasing)

>playing Red Dead 2 and already getting a bit bored of it

>been wanting to go back an play some of my old PS2 games

>can't do this because my brother borrowed a handful of my games as well as my only working controllers

No anon, you aren't missing out one bit. The older generations of consoles had far better games with much more replay value, and PC has tens of thousands of excellent games even if your PC isn't the best.


 No.297946

>technically turning my life around

>it's to the point where people don't believe I'm a virgin, and if I started talking about what I've been doing, robots would accuse me of being a normalfag (as opposed to how I'm closer to a cyborg, if anything)

>feeling mentally sound, and sleeping easier, etc

<Realize the other day, that without having improved myself out of sheer selfishness and spite at those who ruined my life when I was younger, I'd still be in that same self destructive rut

Why? It's simple.

There's nothing on the other side, man. And that's why it's so hard for robots, cyborgs, anyone who's posted here, to turn their life around. Because honestly? You're/we're right about how shitty society and everything about real life is. Women are still trash, life is still meaningless, people will still walk all over you if they can, all that you can really do is become, metaphorically, big enough that people won't fuck with you, and then fuck off to your hobbies and self improvement.


 No.297949

File: 62788a0e21b758f⋯.mp4 (7.92 MB, 624x352, 39:22, Caring.mp4)

File: d69916b40621747⋯.mp4 (6.24 MB, 624x352, 39:22, No Longer Caring.mp4)

>>297946

As a robot, there's a certain juncture on the path of self-improvement where you either willingly become a normalfag, or you realize there's no reason to participate anymore. Unlike when you first develop a nihilistic outlook as a teenager, it's a feeling of liberation rather than existential ennui. You can be right about everything, but you will still have minimal impact and the normalfag mob will just keep going down the path of self-destruction. I think that's the true nature of wizardry.


 No.297953

>>297946

>I'm closer to a cyborg

>cyborg

Go back


 No.297963

File: b44e5681fc8200f⋯.png (7.69 KB, 640x480, 4:3, gontoilet.png)

>have to find a new place to live very soon

>recluse shutin with 0 knowhow on things like applying for housing, paying bills, etc.

>only have about 2500 in savings from online contract job that will end in a few months

>can't enjoy vidya/anime/browsing because of this sword dangling over my head

Guess this is the end of the line for me.


 No.297968

This my first post here, and probably my last. I think this qualifies as a blogpost so if you feel like I need to be banned then I'm ok with it.

Some time ago I knew a girl which I really liked, and we were more or less a perfect match in all our interests. It was almost as if God saw me struggle in all social aspects of my life, and offered to make an Eve just for me. After some months she invited me to come live with her in another country which would have probably led to other things, but I declined on the ground that I am trying to build a future in this slavic shithole and now I no longer have any contact with her. Recently I found out that my uni, which I enrolled in after being pressured by my parents, is cutting the only graduate program that I was interested in and which offers decent work all because the head professor in charge of it kicked the bucket. This major was the only reason I enrolled into that uni in the first place, and if the government wasn't paying for it I never would have. These two mistakes got me thinking, and I just realized that my whole life is a series of mistakes, ranging all the way from my conception (which was an accident) until now, and that I'll probably keep fucking up and making bad decisions until I die bitter and alone and full of regret because I'm so retarded and maladapted, and I'm out of any ways to cope.


 No.297974

File: bce07553ed7e8be⋯.jpg (275.33 KB, 1280x754, 640:377, 8KJnKQm.jpg)

I'm the anon from the previous thread that talked about losing my faith. My entire family holds this belief that it isn't right to be in solitude and that you shouldn't seclude yourself or want to be away from other people. Sorry if most of my posts are about my family, they are the only people that I interact with I had nothing to counter their arguments with because I never considered whether or not solitude is something that god frowns upon. Most of the reading/studying I do feels better when I'm alone. Family study is nice but I don't like the idea of going to church.


 No.297980

>>297974

There's nothing against solitude. The Bible literally says to pray in complete privacy so you don't come off as a pretentious asshole. With that being said, we were made as social creatures meant to be in contact with each other.

Also make sure to find a church that really makes you feel welcome. There are a lot of shit ones out there, my professor told me about one that had a sign out front that said "Members only". Stay away from those places as well as megachurches, go to one where you feel like you belong.


 No.298000

>>297968

Other than (previously) chasing roastie meat it seems you fit in just fine. As long as your a virgin that is


 No.298011

>>297949

Forgive the dumb question, but who is this?


 No.298044

>>297974

Most modern churches and Christians are Christian in name only, and in practice are pagans and idolaters. Your family is full of shit if they think that God rejects solitude. If they were alive at the time of Christ they would've nagged him when he went to fast alone in the woods for 40 fucking days.


 No.298045

>>298044

sage for doublepost, but I need to elaborate.

Christ says that when you pray, do it completely alone. He also says that when you pray, don't babble on uselessly spouting whatever random bullshit comes to mind, but to pray in the specific manner of the Lord's Prayer which he gave (O father, who is in heaven, etc). This alone is testament to the idiocy of the modern churchgoers - they can't even be bothered to follow this simple rule. When they pray, they do it in public, to be seen by men, and they babble on endlessly, "O Lord give us so and so, please Lord O Lord I know you're powerful O Lord, please do this and that and this, blah fucking blah".

Reminder that claiming to worship God doesn't make someone a Christian. Just saying the words "I have faith in Christ" means jack shit if you don't actually live by what he taught.

Back in the time of the Kingdoms of Israel and Judah, the word "Ba'al" or just "Baal" meant "lord". Tons of Israelites claimed to worship God, but just worshipped "Baal" aka "lord", going on all day about how great the "Lord" is, while not actually following Yahweh's teaching. And this is what happened to people in the olden days when a bunch of people got together and claimed to worship God with their lips, while their hearts were far from him, and they just in practice worshipped Baal instead. And this is what also will happen one day to all the idolaters who falsely claim to worship God Christ, while in practice mock him.

>Then Jehu gathered all the people and said to them, "Ahab served Baal a little; Jehu will serve him much. Summon all the prophets of Baal, all his worshippers and all his priests; let no one be missing, for I have a great sacrifice for Baal; whoever is missing shall not live." But Jehu did it in cunning, so that he might destroy the worshippers of Baal.

>And Jehu said, "Sanctify a solemn assembly for Baal." And they proclaimed it.

>Then Jehu sent throughout Israel and all the worshippers of Baal came, so taht there was not a man left who did not come. And when they went into the house of Baal, the house of Baal was filled from one end to the other.

>He said to the one who was in charge of the wardrobe, "Bring out garments for all the worshippers of Baal." So he brought out garments for them.

>Jehu went into the house of Baal with Jehonadab the son of Rechab; and he said to the worshippers of Baal, "Search and see that there is here with you none of the servants of Yahweh, but only the worshippers of Baal."

>Then they went in to offer sacrifices and burnt offerings. Now Jehu had stationed for himself eighty men outside, and he had said, "The one who permits any of the men whom I bring into your hands to escape shall give up his life in exchange."

>Then it came about, as soon as he had finished offering the burnt offering, that Jehu said to the guard and to the royal officers, "Go in, kill them; let none come out." And they killed them with the edge of the sword; and the guard and the royal officers threw them out, adn went to the inner room of teh house of Baal."

>They brought out the sacred pillars of the house of Baal and burned them.

>They also broke down the pillar of Baal and broke down the house of Baal, and made it a latrine to this day. Thus Jehu eradicated Baal out of Israel.


 No.298054

File: 5ec99e58dd6e79c⋯.jpg (303.91 KB, 800x517, 800:517, 5d7b3d78720c43393f57a032a7….jpg)

>not motivated to improve myself and find happiness

>not even motivated to play video games or watch anime anymore

>somehow I'm supposed to be motivated to show up for work and make my boss money while I barely get enough to pay bills

I think this is why society will collapse.


 No.298058

>>298011

Doug Stanhope, a libertarian comedian best known for his misanthropic outlook.


 No.298059

>>298011

Doug Stanhope.


 No.298061

>>298058

While I was deliberating how to describe him, you beat me to it. Do you know of any other comedians who aren't just zog apologists? Norm MacDonald can be good, but I can't think of any others.


 No.298062

File: 7960481abcf4f68⋯.mp4 (13.24 MB, 640x360, 16:9, Bill Burr on Alexa.mp4)

>>298061

As far as living comedians are concerned, Bill Burr is openly skeptical about anything related to the government. He's also remarkably popular.


 No.298064

>>298062

I used to like Bill Burr but then he married a negress. I gave him another listen later on, and boy can he make you chuckle about how tough it is to raise two (mongrel) children. Random people on youtube may be a last bastion of non-kiked humor, sadly.

>Bill Burr is openly skeptical about anything related to the government.

Yeah he'll complain about bankers but he's too intellectually lazy to actually connect any dots meaningfully.

>He's also remarkably popular.

This is how it is.


 No.298065

>>298064

>I used to like Bill Burr but then he married a negress.

Wait, what? I never knew his girlfriend he always bitched about was a negress.


 No.298066

>>298065

Google images for a laugh.


 No.298068

File: 6615142bf53ed09⋯.jpg (39.66 KB, 480x640, 3:4, day of the rope.jpg)

>>298066

I always imagined she'd be some upper middle-class white suburbanite. Oh well, gingers and niggers deserve one another and at least I can say his taste in women makes me laugh. I mean, just look at the two creatures with him, desperately trying to look like normal people like some defective AI that wants to know what love is.


 No.298104

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-46867424

>World's 'loneliest' frog gets a date

>Romeo, known as the world's loneliest frog, has spent 10 years in isolation at an aquarium in Bolivia

damn, even fucking frogpepes get date after 10 years of solitude


 No.298128

>>298104

>reading BBC

How did a redditor like you end up here?


 No.298165

File: 28745a4e4f9621e⋯.jpg (71.86 KB, 434x436, 217:218, lolpitchforkpleb.jpg)

I don't know how to react to my OC being posted by anons. Most of them are just a reaction to something that's ruining a board, like the niggerpill kike or cuckchan, but I always see of them as cancerous, or that they could have been done better. It just doesn't feel like it's that valuable to spread, but people spread them. I'm confused


 No.298170

>>298165

If your image is getting spread that means it is good enough to convey the meaning it is intended too, and if it is good enough to convey meaning you should be happy with yourself for making something successful. Imageboards thrive on OC.


 No.298189

>>295969

this, college has made me more conservative. In high school I would have done just that (had it not been for bad acne and shitty haircut). It is funny though to see how my peers turned out, the girls only became more shallow and insecure(giving out sex just to feel like they are pretty) and the guys have become harder and harder to talk to, and way more depressed to the point where half my friend group has depression and the other kids are drinking and pretending there is nothing wrong


 No.298198

It all feels so pointless. My end goals are nothing. If I were to ever actually achieve them I'd probably end it because that would be the end of the rainbow. What will I do when all my distractions aren't distracting enough anymore? Why do my choices bring only a temporary anesthetic while my agony steadily deepens? I have no answers and the routes that may yield an answer are so daunting. I guess I'll just repeat the cycle and continue self anesthetization.


 No.298200

File: 30a1995c09b13f4⋯.jpg (64.05 KB, 500x504, 125:126, niggerpill-kike.jpg)

>>298165

Is pic related one of your works? I've reposted it several times now.


 No.298203

>>298200

>fucking this

That's a thing I absolutely hate. When peole reply to posts with "THIS!!!" because they just want to run their mouth without contributing to the conversation at all. Unless someone is actually asking for a tally of votes, what's the fucking point of saying "Yes, I, anonymous poster, agree with this other anonymous poster" without adding anything to it?

If you "THIS!!!!!" my post, I'll slit your nan, you cheeky cunts


 No.298208

>>298203

Fucking this! I literally can't even right now.


 No.298213

File: d2e6843825c7eae⋯.png (Spoiler Image, 221.64 KB, 500x504, 125:126, niggerpiII kike.png)

>>298200

yes

I should probably stop running my mouth when I see people sharing something I made, the last thing I want to do is make the creator of something that is getting widespread look like a faggot

now I understand all those twitter liberals that made a recognized "work of art" and in their delusions they get lost

mild update


 No.298216

File: c221fd2b6f2cef4⋯.jpg (147.07 KB, 1959x1469, 1959:1469, Wojak.jpg)

Alright guys so I've been exploring this concept in my head for like the last two hours right? I'm a pretty highly empathetic robot all things considered, even if I did get a gf, a good job, good social circle. Would I still not be happy? Would I still see a lot of myself in my friends, fellow anons, and in fictional losers? It may just be my inner commie speaking but what if it's not good enough that just I make it, but my fellow anon's and robots like us make it too?


 No.298218

>>298203

Would you rather they type "I've been trying to explain how I feel for a long time, but lack the linguistic expertise which you displayed. I'd like to thank you for providing me with an eloquent expression of my own feelings, fellow anonymous poster." or just add to the pile by explaining the same thing another poster just described, but with less emotive prose?


 No.298219

>>298216

>gommie

No comment on that, but there are a good number of robots that want to see all socially outcast and inept lifted above. The trick is finding a way that brings satisfaction in life without the end result just being normalfaggotry. There have been several discussions about a robot oriented commune to allow for personal fulfillment while shielding its occupants from the pressure of the status quo.


 No.298263

File: 59c60f8d6987707⋯.jpg (92.66 KB, 640x583, 640:583, Orangutan.jpg)

Had an idea for a Fallout-esque RPG, where natsocs, commies, feminists, alphas, and betas all finally rise up in America in a massive war of ideology, and you get to tip the scales in one faction's favor. The character you create at the start of the game could automatically make certain factions like/dislike you by your very appearance (for example, making your character a chad would make you unable to join the beta faction, while you'd be more than welcome in the alpha faction)

I've only had an hour long drive to think about this but it sounds like it'd be interesting. Thoughts?


 No.298274

File: 83785708be7c0c7⋯.mp4 (5.73 MB, 640x360, 16:9, soon.mp4)

>>298213

>he isn't glad his material he put out is getting shared

heh


 No.298291

File: c8c8fe852399435⋯.jpg (101.94 KB, 576x768, 3:4, normbully.jpg)

Normgroid felt it necessary to snap this picture of a fat man shopping and minding his own business. They do this to ugly and weird looking people too.

>nobody is paying attention to you, they're too busy themselves, it's all in your head

>snaps a candid photo of you for being weird looking or fat in public and shares it on the internet for sweet internet points


 No.298294

>>298291

that's pretty funny tbh

guess you just

dont be fat


 No.298297

>>298294

Also don't be ugly, don't be "weird looking" etc. Hilarious. See you on discord and 4cuck.


 No.298298

>>298297

cmon guy you cant be that stupid


 No.298300

>>298298

Are you a virgin?

Pow


 No.298301

>>298294

It seems the store he's in health/fitness focused and he's walking instead of using a mobility scooter. So he's not just a guy minding his own business, he's actually trying to fix his weight problem, only for some normalfag to take his picture so normalfags like you can laugh at him.


 No.298303

>>298291

They snapped a picture because he's an obese man in some kind of sports food shop, he just looks out of place. He would have been left alone if he had been in a walmart, best buy, etc. Don't walk into areas that will make you look out of place, because that will attract attention. Here are some other examples:

>old people in Spencer's Gifts

>bringing your children into sex toy/movie shops

>being or looking like a rich business man and walking around Hot Topic

>being or looking like a blind person in a movie theater

>>298301

>So he's not just a guy minding his own business, he's actually trying to fix his weight problem

That is a fair point, but like I said earlier, the attention he's receiving comes with the turf. MOST of the people in those shops are meatheads who exercise daily already, and most of the products in that place cater specifically to that kind of person. There's plenty of things that obese people can do before they even head into a store like that (i.e. jogging the streets every day, eating less calories daily, etc), and I honestly don't even know what he would actually need in there other than caffeine supplements or something.


 No.298304

I was in a walmart waiting for my grandparents to finish their shopping. I didn't feel like walking around so I found a bench to sit down at. Maybe 10 minutes passed when a girl suddenly appears and sits down right next me, not near me but right up against me, touching shoulders and legs we were so close, when there was a lot of room on this bench to sit down at. I don't dare look up at her, hoping she would just go away. I can hear some girls in the background talking and giggling, I know there is something sinister coming up, this is typical normalfag shit. Anyway, she finally says hello, and asks how I'm doing. I finally look at her. But fuck that, before anything can happen, I just get up, laugh, and walk the fuck away. Something was going to happen, I just know it. I'm not a good looking guy, no one would just hit on me, and she was incredibly pretty. I saw her later on in the store again, and just ignored her but she noticed me but didn't approach. I either dodged a bullet, or dodged something that might have been good. I rather miss an opportunity than have myself potentially be ridiculed by normalniggers, so I'm satisfied.


 No.298306

File: 096ce8ad9135874⋯.jpg (163.25 KB, 1024x1024, 1:1, DRAT9VYXcAAtzlT.jpg)

>>298303

Not true at all, and a fat guy trying to change his life and get fit isn't that out of place.


 No.298308

>>298303

>obese person tries to improve themselves

>gets mocked by Chad and Stacy

It's almost like they enjoy keeping people down the imaginary totem pole they've constructed. If there's one group of people that needs to purchase things from a health store, it's unhealthy people. Healthy people really have no business buying buckets of whey powder and protein drinks; they're already fit. It's the fat people who should be investing absurd amounts of money into shedding that fat and gaining muscle definition. I mean, can you imagine if someone went into a bookstore and got mocked for purchasing high school literature? Or if someone went to a game store and got laughed out for purchasing Call of Battlefield: Womyn Cry XIV for the Goystation IV? It just doesn't make sense to me.


 No.298315

File: 86cfd942390a861⋯.jpg (68.35 KB, 561x889, 561:889, 86cfd942390a861ce5fa3cd685….jpg)

>>298303

>Go to walmart, walk out with junk food that encourages obesity.

>Go to best buy, walk out with more electronic shit that encourages sedentariness.

I don't know, these stores you consider "fat appropriate" seem pretty detrimental to anyone trying to lose weight, almost like they're causes of obesity.


 No.298318

>>297099

Ah, the mark of the 4cuck

>is 'x' the latest putdown?

LURK MORE YOU IGNORANT FAGGOT


 No.298321

>>298306

>>298308

You guys missed the point I was making. All I'm saying is that there are shitty people out there who are going to demean those who they deem as undesirable, ergo these places/situations should be avoided if you can't handle it. That's the way I see it anyway. Maybe the guy in the picture doesn't give a fuck about his picture being taken, because he cares more about improving than what the normalfags think. But if he does has a problem with it, then buying his shit online is probably going to be an easier, less stressful option.

>>298315

>go to walmart, walk out with fresh fruits and veggies, lean meats and bottled water

>go to best buy, walk out with a Fitbit and a pair of bluetooth headphones so you can jam while you're working out

It's almost like the bad shit in walmart and best buy have fuck all to do with the choices you make.


 No.298324

File: cf49f123430cd2a⋯.jpg (71.11 KB, 707x500, 707:500, 9679679567956.jpg)

BO deleted my nofap thread and now I want to find him and tear out his fucking throat. What rule did that break you retard, you can't just delete threads at your own discretion, what's the point of having rules then?


 No.298326

>>298321

Someone who's obese is likely to fall back into bad habits if exposed to them. Even if he avoids the gallon of soda and bags of candy he might still pick up a soda bottle or candy bar, strategically placed at checkouts to entice that last minute purchase. Your choice to laugh at fat guys in health/fitness stores is completely indefensible, and deflecting blame away from (((corporations))) just to excuse your normalfag behavior only makes you look worse.


 No.298327

File: f8a3c7f464d4e30⋯.jpg (24.65 KB, 355x369, 355:369, stop.jpg)

>>298324

>make low effort cuckchan thread

>mad when it gets deleted


 No.298328

>cuckchan thread

Honestly neck yourself you fucking sperg, you have no idea what a cuckchan thread is, because it's definitely not everything you don't like.


 No.298329

>>298326

>Your choice to laugh at fat guys in health/fitness stores is completely indefensible

I guess laughing at anyone or anything is indefensible, since niggers are gud boys trying to get their life on track and their low IQ is holding them back, same goes for sandniggers, women, normalfags, actual downies, etc.. Fuck off, stop being a fat shit and blaming everyone else for it. Nobody is defending the corporations, but don't pretend that there was nothing you could've done to prevent your landwhale status.

>>298328

>muh nofap

Oh boy, he's about to beat his dick ot chrischan.


 No.298330

>>298329

You could have posted your opinion on the nofap thread but now it's gone cause BO is an assblasted nigger that deletes anything he doesn't like.


 No.298332

>>298329

>didn't answer whether he was a virgin

either get off your high horse, or go back to 4cuck. you're all over the place, BOY.


 No.298333

>>298332

I'm not even the other anon you were arguing with. But hey, everyone that disagrees with you is one guy.


 No.298334

>>298328

>you have no idea what a cuckchan thread is, because it's definitely not everything you don't like.

https://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/nofap/page/1/

>sperg

>assblasted nigger

Feel free to keep projecting.


 No.298335

>>298330

>posts about wanting to tear out somebody's throat because he made you mad on the internet

>calls others assblasted


 No.298336

>>298326

>Someone who's obese is likely to fall back into bad habits if exposed to them

Yeah, as is the case with every other vice. Part of getting better and improving is developing agency and resisting temptation. Stop being a degenerate apologist and start holding people to higher standards, faggot.

>Your choice to laugh at fat guys in health/fitness stores

Nice strawman.

>and deflecting blame away from (((corporations))) just to excuse

The merchants sell what the goyim will buy.


 No.298338

>>298334

You could run any given topic on cuckchan archives and turn up multiple results. What a BTFO.


 No.298339

>>298336

The guy you were arguing with wasn't even defending fatness, just saying you shouldn't discourage a fat guy who was trying to unfuck his shit by laughing at him. You should laugh at fat people in Walmart more than that guy.


 No.298340

>>298335

I was mad when I posted that. I've calmed down now though. The BO should still be fed to rabid starving AIDS niggers for abusing his position though.


 No.298341

>>298338

>tell you your thread is low effort cuckchan tier

>you deny this and tell me i don't know what cuckchan thread is

>show you low effort nofap threads similar to yours on cuckchan

>still in denial

You're beyond help.


 No.298342

>>298339

>The guy you were arguing with wasn't even defending fatness

I never said he was. I called him out for implying that fat people have little agency and that big bad corporations like walmart and best buy "encourage fatness".

>just saying you shouldn't discourage a fat guy who was trying to unfuck his shit by laughing at him

I never discouraged that and I never laughed at him. Hence why I said "Nice strawman".

>You should laugh at fat people in Walmart more than that guy.

Personally I think people should mind their own business.


 No.298343

>>298341

I don't think you realize why searching 4chan archives for nofap threads doesn't prove anything. You could search very common topics discussed on here and receive hundreds of results just for a single day. How about you search "Virgin" or "NEET" and see how many results turn up, cause if we're going by that metric than every thread on the catalog right now is a cuckchan thread. So yeah, you really don't know what a cuckchan thread is. I don't know what to tell you mate, but it just sounds like you're idea of a cuckchan thread is anything you don't like.


 No.298345

>>298329

You're trying way too hard to fit in. It's socially acceptable to mock a fat white guy. The kind of faggot who laughs at a picture of a fat guy in a health/fitness store is the kind of faggot who laughs at a guy for being a virgin.

>>298336

Yeah, and avoiding places of temptation as much as possible is a good strategy, especially when so much of the world is dedicated to shilling unhealthy shit.

>Nice strawman.

If you're not >>298294 then don't try to defend his position.

>>298339

Thanks for restoring some of my faith in this board, nice to know there's still someone who can read here.


 No.298346

>>298343

I think we are at a misunderstanding, i'm not saying it was a cuckchan thread because of the subject (nofap) but because the thread was made with little effort (very similar to cuckchan threads).


 No.298347

>>298346

The thread was supposed to be a general thread for the subject, since there wasn't an existing one in the catalog. I gave my input and experience then asked other anons for theirs.


 No.298348

>>298342

Do low agency people exist, yes or no?


 No.298349

>>298347

>was supposed to be a general thread

Your thread could have been posted in this one with little difference, either tyrone thought your thread didn't have enough effort put into it to be its own thread or he thought the subject didn't need its own thread, i'm leaning towards the former. However if you really want to know just ask him in the meta.


 No.298351

>>298349

Why are you defending him so much? There are dozens of threads on the catalog right now that are 100x more worthy of getting pruned and told to fuck off to this thread, but they're still up. It's clear that the BO just deletes anything when he feels like it. As for my thread, I deemed the subject reasonable enough to warrant its own thread, and stand by that. What's this about "effort" anyways? Where in the rules does it talk about that? How do you even gauge it?


 No.298352

>>298351

>Why are you defending him so much?

I'm simply giving you reasons for why i think your thread got deleted.

>There are dozens of threads on the catalog right now that are 100x more worthy of getting pruned and told to fuck off to this thread, but they're still up.

I won't deny this but a would like some examples.

>I deemed the subject reasonable enough to warrant its own thread,

You're not the BO, so i don't see why this matters.

>What's this about "effort" anyways? Where in the rules does it talk about that?

Consider it an unwritten rule.

>How do you even gauge it?

That's up for debate.

>It's clear that the BO just deletes anything when he feels like it.

That's something you're going to have to take up with him, or just make the thread again when he's asleep.


 No.298355

>>298345

>avoiding places of temptation as much as possible is a good strategy

Are you seriously saying that fat people shouldn't shop at walmart because they have candy bars and soda at the checkout line? Should they stop driving on highways and interstates too? I mean, they could drive by a McDonald's billboard, or even pass by a Taco Bell.

>then don't try to defend his position.

I'm not. My original position is this: >>298321

>>298348

Sure. People who have severe mental illnesses or have gotten their brains fucked up from years of drug abuse have low agency. If you want to prove me wrong on my earlier statement here: >>298321

>It's almost like the bad shit in walmart and best buy have fuck all to do with the choices you make.

by pointing to a very distinct exception of people who are unable to function on even a basic level, then I guess you got me.


 No.298358

>>298351

>What's this about "effort" anyways? Where in the rules does it talk about that?

Rule 4.

>How do you even gauge it?

What kind of discussion does it generate other than "x days"? Not much, if any, therefore it's considered low quality. Another mark against nofap is it's usually practiced by failed normalfags who want girlfriends. I'm not tyrone though, so this isn't an official answer.


 No.298359

File: 43b18f1ef871823⋯.jpg (23.61 KB, 665x574, 95:82, Retard.jpg)

>>298358

>said it was an unwritten rule

>forgot about rule 4


 No.298360

>>298355

So effectively no, got it. So, whence do fat people come from?


 No.298361

>>298355

>Are you seriously saying that fat people shouldn't shop at walmart because they have candy bars and soda at the checkout line?

Yes.

>Should they stop driving on highways and interstates too? I mean, they could drive by a McDonald's billboard, or even pass by a Taco Bell.

Resort to hyperbole after you complained about strawmaning, nice. Sure, it would be great if fast food advertisements could go the way of tobacco advertisements in the future, but unfortunately for now they're unavoidable. A candy bar or soda within arms reach is a more dangerous temptation than a fast food restaurant along the road. It's right there, in their face, just grab it and go. The guilt of succumbing to that temptation can then result in binge eating unhealthy food. I'm not interested in arguing for argument's sake, so if you want to keep hating fatties and placing all the blame on them, knock yourself out.


 No.298403

>>297736

Have you considered just ordering a buzzer online, one with a decent length guard? Sure, buzz cut doesn't look very good, but no barber and you can do it easily at home.


 No.298429

File: b88e5a080d040d0⋯.jpg (25.78 KB, 500x332, 125:83, 66691468.jpg)

>just discovered there's a town called Eromanga in my country

>want to visit for ironic weeb points but I'm too scared of emus

>decide to shitpost on /r9k/ instead

It's an abstract kind of feeling.


 No.298437

>>298429

Are emus really that big a threat?


 No.298438

File: bac479651e8664c⋯.png (397.55 KB, 500x608, 125:152, typical australian.png)

>>298437

No, but it's 20 hours away from where I live. t. emu


 No.298440

>want to post something long but lose steam and can't bother typing it out

>too many boards to check up on


 No.298444

>>298429

>le ironic weeb points xD

I hope the desert claims your ass.


 No.298459

File: b379f8d2664e583⋯.png (2.33 MB, 675x2740, 135:548, donating to reimu.png)

>>297875

some things I can understand supporting as they're real content creators instead of "look at me play games and get mad."

a few that come to mind; Acorn to Arabella, Toafledermous, Project Binky, and Isaac Arthur. as all of these would have a harder time pushing out content without financial support for the time and effort they put into what they do.

twitch is largely cancer, I've seen channels were people will donate just to have their message read or simply to get the streamers attention for some xd silly troll. not to long ago an OSRS streamer got a 12BTC donation. fucking ridiculous


 No.298482

File: 2f0c91a3ff4bf09⋯.png (100.65 KB, 800x1043, 800:1043, 2012-09-30-beartato-tprobl….png)

> have two friends in the moment

> the one I know from childhood is failed normalfag. He earns a lot of money for my county, like multiple times more than average citizen. He usually talks only about money and some other materialistic shit like travels which is mindnumbingly boring. He also can be ocasionaly rude towards random people on trifles which is disgusting. However, I am his only one close friend and he is manlet and a little brainlet, so I keep hang out with him form time to time due to some wicked feel of guilty conscience.

> the other is failed numale. He simulatniously treats women with disdain and praise them. He is too smart to fully embrace feministic brainwashing but have need to pander to questionable ideals because he is a part of (((social circles))). However he is only one form people I know who understands some complex toughts and cares about me as a friend.

Having friends is suffering


 No.298494

YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.

You can gauge the humanity of a person by showing them this video and seeing their reaction.


 No.298497

>>297542

I think thats what loofahs/those slightly rough cylinder sponges are for. They are rough enough to scrub away dead skin, and can hold water that can wash away the removed skin. You could try that instead of a cloth From what I've learned from my own experience with this is that when you do dry yourself with a towel, these rolls of dead skin form far easier, so I'd stand in the tub, rub myself with the towel to form the rolls, wait a bit to air dry, then rub myself with the towel again, causing all the dead skin to fall off into the tub, then its just a matter of washing it down the drain. You could try this as well as using a loofah instead of a cloth (you might need to wash out the loofah from time to time, in case dead skin builds up in it)


 No.298498

>>298494

Fuck off with your stupid vtuber garbage.


 No.298537

File: 5496f2b574f8e18⋯.png (908.57 KB, 1336x1253, 1336:1253, 5caa1e993231ef6567bd1c172d….png)

>>298498

wow that was very rude


 No.298540

File: 4dd80d84224d9d6⋯.jpg (22.97 KB, 680x383, 680:383, Log-Horizon-Shiroe.jpg)

>play MMORPGs with some friends since highschool

>had a great time

>college starts

>people become busy with life

>less free time and less focus on video games than before

>fast forward to some years after college

>decide to play something we played in the past for nostalgia sake

>friends barely get to be online at the same time

>decide to cut contact with the group

Thing is that free time is not the only reason. We started to have different goals, different outlooks on life and so on. Instead of trying to convince them of my ideologies and opinions I decided the best way to approach this is to let people do whatever they want. It's their life and their choices and if they are happy with them so be it.

On one hand I want to see what singleplayer games I've been missing. But on the other hand I have this gut feeling that I should make a new group of friends to play together, maybe with people that are closer to sharing the same opinions and values as me compared to the last group.

But making friends at a certain age is quite hard, so much in fact I don't even know where to start, especially since my views on life are quite abstract that not even my parents who are okay with my NEET life can understand. When you're underage it's somehow much easier to get some common grounds with someone and develop a friendship from there.

So, what should I do?


 No.298610

File: a32a8cbbee9af69⋯.png (411.03 KB, 1000x1000, 1:1, 0ulHiHS.png)

Tonight is the blood moon. I wish everyone here forgiveness/repentance and a happy end of the world.

I'm optimistic for an end of the world


 No.298613

>>298540

Aside from the fact that it's increasingly difficult to find an active guild that actually plays online games especially MMOs together these days, have you ever thought about not obsessing over differences in opinion? If you want to make "friends" online, find the things you have in common, not the things which you don't. Joining a guild and getting involved in their social activities is relatively easy so long as you're willing to install spyware like Discord but it sounds like you simply want other people to embrace every aspect of your identity. They won't, just as you want for them, so don't expect it to happen. Most of the people you'll meet will be ironic weebs, vicariously embarrassing cucks, college commies and other failed normalfags that you won't really respect, but might still enjoy spending some time with. Of course, you could always become a hermit and retreat into a private world of fantasy and have no social interactions outside of /r9k/, your family and the grocery store, but it doesn't sound like you actually want that.


 No.298615

File: fc48827c509646d⋯.jpg (157.06 KB, 640x480, 4:3, Lazy Dumb Mangaka Scum.jpg)

>>298613

Oh, and you'll have to deal with roasties who were unable to garner attention in the real world, so they retreated into a niche of the Internet. These individuals are often housebound, physically or mentally disabled, mentally ill or morbidly obese, will invariably have orbiters and can shit up an entire community, but they're a fact of life. Once again, you're dealing with failed normalfags rather than robots, and you'll have to come to terms with that. Don't piss off the roastie, even if your guild seems like they're alright people, because she will make it her life's mission to screw you over. Don't present yourself as aloof and mysterious, however, because then she might become interested in you. Given the poor mental health of these roasties even compared to other roasties, as well as widespread acceptance of online "friends" and even "distance relationships", this can be a very dangerous path to tread.

In summation, there's a good reason not many robots play video games online.


 No.298643

>>298613

>have you ever thought about not obsessing over differences in opinion? If you want to make "friends" online, find the things you have in common, not the things which you don't

I did that for almost 6 years. 4 years of college and 2 outside of it. Over time it became clear that the differences in opinions are way too big to create common ground.

>Joining a guild and getting involved in their social activities is relatively easy

Except for the fact that most people who join guilds do it for the small-large community it forms, usually 10 to sometimes 50 people. They want to be part of that army. Not to make groups of 3-5 people that strive to be the best.

>it sounds like you simply want other people to embrace every aspect of your identity. They won't, just as you want for them, so don't expect it to happen

That never was the essence of it. When I played online games with my friends we always went with setups that would cover each other, something like I take this skill, you take this, now we're all cogs of a working machine that need each other to strive, or create all kinds of gimmicks we could think of. It was about the camaraderie and teamwork, a key feel that may soon disappear in general.

Problem is when certain opinions and focuses on life hinder you from doing that and yet it doesn't bother you. Things like overworking yourself because you got yourself in debt over something that involves your personal ego, putting your girlfriend on a pedestal and always say yes to her, being indoctrinated by family to be/act in certain ways and do their bidding, and various other things. I guy even said he does certain things like this because otherwise he'd feel worthless. He has no choice from his perspective.

So what am I suppose to do? Convince them that their opinions are wrong so their free time can be focused more on video games? Get ahead in games and play solo? Wait for them and not play?

>but it doesn't sound like you actually want that.

Before highschool I used to play on consoles by myself and I was okay with it. Then I discovered online games. I could adapt myself and go back to my original free time activity but once you go back it may be harder to change your mind in the future.

>>298615

>Once again, you're dealing with failed normalfags rather than robots, and you'll have to come to terms with that. Don't piss off the roastie, even if your guild seems like they're alright people, because she will make it her life's mission to screw you over

This is one of the reasons I liked to stick with my small group of friends. We never wanted to join bigger communities or get involved with them for reasons more than what you just said. This was probably the biggest perk of the group I was with, and yet nobody focuses on creating/joining small groups like these, at least not publicly. I find this quite weird.

>In summation, there's a good reason not many robots play video games online.

That's why I either have to adapt to my situation or figure out some way where things can work.


 No.298647

>>298643

>Over time it became clear that the differences in opinions are way too big to create common ground.

Normalcattle are retarded; you won't be able to reconcile your political opinions or worldview with theirs. You don't need to do that to enjoy playing video games with people, so don't bother.

>Not to make groups of 3-5 people that strive to be the best.

Yeah, most people are casual gamers.

>When I played online games with my friends we always went with setups that would cover each other, something like I take this skill, you take this, now we're all cogs of a working machine that need each other to strive, or create all kinds of gimmicks we could think of. It was about the camaraderie and teamwork, a key feel that may soon disappear in general.

See above. It's an unfortunate fact that MMOs and online games in general have degenerated to such a degree, but they're being made for an even lower grade of moron than the dipshit spic squeakers of a decade ago. There's almost no reason to invest all that time and effort anymore.

>So what am I suppose to do? Convince them that their opinions are wrong so their free time can be focused more on video games? Get ahead in games and play solo? Wait for them and not play?

Accept that he's become a responsible adult normalfag and make new relationships. Sounds like he has. Don't pretend that he doesn't exist, but it's pretty clear he's moved on from what you've told me.

>nobody focuses on creating/joining small groups like these, at least not publicly. I find this quite weird.

They exist, but they don't advertise themselves to the world because they're happy with the way they are. They eventually wither away and die when founding members find other things more important. Kind of like your group.

>That's why I either have to adapt to my situation or figure out some way where things can work.

Join a guild, extend your help to everyone, participate in as many inane social occasions as humanly possible and see if there's anyone you like. If there is, try to form a small kinship band with them. If not, move on. Networking is peak normalfaggotry, but that's how you make online "friends" with people through video games.


 No.298653

>watch a film where the "villain" is just a robot who wants to be left alone with his waifu

>he tells 3dpd to fuck off

>chad and stacy get him killed then destroy his waifu

I dont know what i was expecting, but I was hoping chad or stacy would have had some consequences in the movie. Normalfags like movies that tell them they're good people and will live happily. I wont say the film because it's a waste of time, but it was based on a book that didnt give the same impression.


 No.298656

>>298653

Forgot to mention chad and stacy were trying to "help" the guy they got killed. I pirated this trash yesterday and I'm still mad about it. sage for double post


 No.298657

>>298653

What movie anon?


 No.298658

>>298653

What movie is this? sdfsgwg


 No.298679

File: a049c74db797144⋯.png (309.11 KB, 513x700, 513:700, 1448858072255.png)

>>298657

>>298658

Not him but sounds like the plot of the Shakugan no Shana movie


 No.298689

File: 3c7d28975d813fd⋯.jpg (155.12 KB, 750x728, 375:364, 3c7d28975d813fd2855115cc7e….jpg)

>>298653

>>298656

This is why I haven't seen a new movie in years. The overwhelming majority of modern film is structured to glorify normalscum because they make up nearly the entirety of current moviegoers, therefore pandering to normalfags makes the highest profits. Needless to say, this makes all the movies that have come out in recent years shallow, dull, and nonsensical, because they are tailor-made for the lowest common denominator. I miss the days when at least a considerable number of films were made by people who imagined and produced genuinely interesting movies because of a passion for good story-telling, not just Jews who want to keep pushing their narratives and good goys who are in it for a quick buck.


 No.298695

File: 7ec44efbdc17e98⋯.jpg (17.18 KB, 337x372, 337:372, Oh no.jpg)

I just had to shit into a Ziploc baggie. This is the second time in my life I've had to do this. I have extreme anxiety, and I'm getting kicked out at the end of the month which isn't helping. I'm a night owl, I shouldn't be awake. I'm sick. Normally, I'd be able to go at night, but my stomach is in fucking knots it hurts so bad. I just had to go and dealing with my roommates would make me perhaps even physically violent because they're so bad. So, I tied up the baggie in a spare garbage bag which I then turned in on itself three times, and then I dowsed it in shampoo and hydrogen peroxide so that it falls into the space made by me turning it inside out so many times to help neutralize the smell into miring.


 No.298696

>>298695

>nto miring.

until morning.*


 No.298893

File: 35b867c05a29588⋯.png (10.62 KB, 249x189, 83:63, ClipboardImage.png)

File: eb75bbe3a297bc0⋯.png (12.16 KB, 236x183, 236:183, ClipboardImage.png)

File: ba4bcb83427a31a⋯.png (303.66 KB, 540x470, 54:47, ClipboardImage.png)

>Have a dummy facebook account

>Somehow they had enough data to recommend I add my father

>What

>Never met my father

>Only know his name

>Location checks out

>Look at the pictures

>It's him


 No.298899

File: 1ab82aa60e77e23⋯.png (252.57 KB, 326x381, 326:381, what.png)

>>298893

That's nice and all but

>Have a dummy facebook account


 No.298901

>>298899

I don't remember, it's on a dummy email I accessed today to grab an alt account for world of tanks




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