I’ll bullet point a few that I can recall off the top of my head (with my response in italics):
• “I tried to do an online transfer to you for the fee, but the Wells Fargo online transfer form doesn’t have the required fields to do so.” - Keep in mind that there is only one way in the entire world to do an international transfer, and that is using standardized SWIFT forms. Wells Fargo doesn’t provide one online?
• “So I had to go into the branch office in Orlando where the bank employee said she also could not figure out how to do it.” – Hint to the wise: When your banker says that they can’t figure out how to complete a standardized SWIFT transfer form, it’s time to take your money and run. In rural South America, it would take two minutes and a smile with the same wiring instructions. “Con mucho gusto don Paul”
• “So I had to contact you, and get some more information, and make a second trip to the Wells Fargo branch in order to complete the wire transfer.” – Once I set you up offshore, you’ll do everything online. No more visits to the office to fill out paper forms… only in Amerika do they kill the rainforest with such inefficient, reckless abandon.
• “When I asked my banker to notarize my utility bill, I was essentially interrogated by the bank management. Even though I’ve banked there for several years, they all but accused me of setting up an offshore bank account in order to launder money.” – It seems that a memo went out, no doubt typed up deep in the bowels of the Treasury in Washington, warning notaries that those wishing to have utility bills and ID’s notarized indicates the establishment of an offshore bank account. Thanks to Treasury propaganda, we know with certainty that the only reason to keep your money out of the reach of such rogue bureaucrats is for illegal tax evasion, or money laundering. Protection from seizure without due process, or bail-ins, isn’t a valid excuse. More scary Big Brother tactics. A potential new client in Ontario, Canada this week told me about a local dairy farmer which he and his community are trying to save from rogue bureaucrats. Seems some guy who insists on the freedom to drink the milk his cows produce, in anyform he chooses to, is a dire threat to the Canadian public. He’s been arrested several times for consuming and selling raw milk. So his friends, who also want the freedom to drink the milk of their choosing, formed a co-op and bought the farm, relegating the former owner to mere employee. The swat teams are still arriving to throw this guy in jail. This isn’t banking related, but it displays the kind of tyranny that allows bureaucrats to confiscate your assets without due process. Thankfully, in Colombia, when I want milk I go up the hill from the coffee farm to the dairy farm 1,000 meters away, and watch the guy drain a teet into an old plastic Coke bottle. I hand him the equivalent of 65 cents, say gracias, and go back home to heat it well on the stove. Not sure how I’ve survived this long. Nor our ancestors for that matter (mine were dairy farmers in 1800’s upstate NY, and lived into their 90’s, many of them). Man is that full cream delicious. Happy travels in the land of the free.
• “When I asked the notary public to notarize my utility bill she refused, saying it’s an official document, and doesn’t need to be notarized.” - See comments above about the memo from the bowels of Treasury. Since when do notaries decide if a document is worthy of notarization or not? Just take your fee, notarize it, and shut up.