Catalog (/sad/)

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Welcome.

>check the catalog before posting (chances are, we've got a >tfw no gf thread)

>keep the trolling good - at least make it funny

>please have a point to your thread

>treat this as an 18+ board (anything that's legal goes here and if you get offended, deal with it)

Always work towards getting better. Things are shit, but we can always work on breaking though it.

ITT songs for when you feel like you're dying inside

Has anyone been doing anything to try to help their depression/general state of being in 2016?

Personally, I purchased myself a stationary bike just a few days before Christmas, and I've been riding between 30-40 minutes per day, and have been doing it almost every day so far this year while also trying to maintain a 500 calorie deficit. I've dropped about three pounds so far, and I've noticed that I've been feeling slightly happier.

Anyone else?

Happy Birthday to me, happy birthday to me..

Is anyone still here?

Here's a simple test

http://www.colorquiz.com/

Accurate for me, what about you?

Problems with society as a high school student

Dear /sad/,

I don't know what to feel about myself. I feel pretty introverted around others and I feel rather sad about it. I want to have a lot of friends and do better academically, but so many people just reject me and I feel rather lost. I talked to my brother about this, and he told me that I should not worry about it because those people are not used to me easily, hence the fact that I recently became a part of their group.

I try to be fond of myself, but it never works out. I'm just a shy fuck who really can't step up too much. I barely have thoughts about suicide in general…

Academically, I feel as if I am doing great. I really have improved over the past few weeks. Socially, though, I'm like a ghost…

Anyone got anything else like this?

Do you ever have that feel when no matter how many times you try to make something better in your life you just seem to be destined to fail no matter what?

Hate my 0c.

>tfw no gf

>had gf for a month last year

>she left me, but I was OK with it

>when she found someone else though, wanted to do myself in

>they broke up this year

>waited months for a chance to just visit her again

>planned visit never happened, she stopped talking to me

>found out she's with someone new

Song is relevant.

Lyrics translated here: http://lyricstranslate.com/en/sen-gelmez-oldun-sen-gelmez-oldun.html

Basically,

>tfw no gf

thread

Job, Life, Value Problems

Hi /sad/. I might sound like an idiot here but I am in a troubled state right now. I graduated out of art school (many keks are expected. Fuck me) and cannot find a job. Currently working in the kitchen with low wage. I'm doing okay with money for now but I feel too much I let my family and myself done as I cannot find my dream job I went to school for and become set for life. Instead I feel disconnected. Day passes where I feel like I'm wasting my life being unhappy. The feel of working on a project with a set start to finish and once done create a new one and make it better was a feeling I remember having that left me satisfied back in grade school. Wanted that to be my career. Now that's on a stall I'm having a hard time being positive. Don't have a girlfriend and a lack of many friends that I can relate and I do want to just die as it feels it won't get any better in the future. But I'm a Christian and suicide is one way ticket to damnation and I have to pay off my debt in 10 years. I've made drinking, gambling and excess sugar intake my best friends and need a way to get out. But shit, I'm stuck. Considering to start smoking after 10 years just to fuck my shit up if nothing gets better. I still have hope but not much of it. Life can't be perfect but I feel like I'm rolling in some shit and shit's going to get worse if it doesn't start getting cleaned up.

I don't want to be awake anymore

I never get attach to anyone, always been a loner family is f'ed up like we're dysfunctional functional it's all we ever could be Family never knew i existed in some sense i guess you can say so i was always ignored, my older sister is always favorite Get anything but was always in charge of me and had to take care of me. She left at 16 after my mother tried to cut my dad balls off and was arrested and charged, parents can never stay away they always love misery, finally they got divorced when i graduated high school, but they were back and forth living together and apart since then on . I was focused on after they divorced and my sister stopped talking to any of us and moved on with her life, they don't know how to communicate with me random religious and social fights with my dad, my mom didn't care as long as she had some kind of medication to pop 2 or 4 times a day so yeah was a Gothic kid you can say. Move on about 6 Years back had a bad breakup with my girlfriend. First time i actually felt like I could love someone, i f'ed this up big time. She fell out of love with me. I struggled with depression, made it worse knowing i did this to myself, tried to suicide a couple times ended up in the hospital for both, got stomach pumped and had stitches on my arm, dad felt like im a lost person stopped talking to me started to drink more, kicked me out randomly broke down my door, small fist fight and call to the police. I had enough money and balls moved away lived up north meet cool roommate and meet someone new, about as fucked up as I am, random call from old man wasn't doing so well so I came back to take care of my dad, still struggle to communicate with him without bursting into some kind of argument he still drinks, got to give him medication and make him food. Mother was deported back to her country with half of my dad retirement fund court agreement. ..New girl friend living with me at my dad house trying to get myself out of here again . Social network, found my ex, we start talking small talk we don't communicate anymore. But each time i see her and remember how it felt to feel i cry hard knowing i can't feel that anymore. Sleeping is the only thing i look forward to from each day, random dreams with my ex wake up wishing i was still with her. Knowing i can't she doesn't love me. New girlfriend wants to marry me, find me the perfect person in her life….I can't feel….I don't know what to feel…….All I want to do is sleep forever i don't want to be awake anymore i just……..I can't do this life……….Still in love with my ex but new girl friend loves me….What should I feel guys……….

How the fuck?

I went to a party last night to hang out and tried (unsuccessfully) onto a girl I've been trying to fuck for a few months now.

I end up leaving the party because I have work early the next morning. So I get home from work and find out that this chick that I was trying to fuck ended up fucking a friend on mine at the party.

I've been trying to have this happen for fucking months and he manages to make it happen in a night. I am so fucking pissed off that he was able to do this shit.

Wizards and mid-life crises

I don't know if anyone else here are literal oldfags but I just turned 30 today and these wizard powers are as bad as being LVL 1 in OD&D or 2e. Hey maybe saying shit like that is why I'm foreverkissless.

Anyone else suffering a midlife crisis? Anyone else feel like shit because they're well into "adulthood" yet have accomplished nothing?

I for one wish I were still a NEET, for the car and apartment weren't worth the bills and chores and no time to do anything but feel sorry for myself, drink myself silly, or watch happy cute cartoons to temporarily numb the existential pain.

Crazy person needs help

Well, if anything positive happened this year it's that I managed to get myself back into therapy. It was out of desperation since I've despised going to therapy ever since I was a kid, but the latest of my numerous failed attempts of restarting my life caused me to snap. First time I snapped, I overdosed while at high school. This time, I was about to burn out one of my eyes with a laser. Only reason I didn't was because my sister came over and brought my little nieces, which snapped me out of it for a bit. After that, it kinda sank into me that I'm not quite sane, so I set up an appointment with my therapist I've been avoiding for a year. Figured it was best that I see him since I don't know what I'll do next time I fail if I don't get any help. Overdosing -> Eye Mutilation -> ? is a tough pattern to figure out. Anyways, he's a pretty cool dude, so I've been listening to him and taking his advice on trying to just fake being a normalfag as much as I can. Which has helped a bit, but I really don't have the energy to keep at it.

I mean, I'm tired as fuck. So many years taken from me, so many years of nothing. Well, actually worse than nothing, since there were multiple times things looked hopeful and that I actually had a chance in life, only for me to end up even worse than before. How do you guys find the energy to keep going after so many failures? You'd think I'd built a resistance to them, but it's getting to the point where I feel like, why fucking bother anymore.

Oh and wouldn't be /sad/ without tfwnogf feels, so better add that in real quick. To try to compress it as much as I can, had one, but then broke up with her. Regret breaking up with her everyday, and I try not to talk to her since she probably hates me, but fuck, better that they hate you then have them suffer along with you while you fuck up at life and go fucking nuts. I know that "if you love them, let them go" line is cliche as fuck, but I can't argue with firsthand experience. My mom's first husband died and she was having her own mental health issues, as well as drug problems. She decided to give up her two kids she had with him after that because she didn't want to ruin their lives. They hated her (and me I think) most of their lives growing up, but they're both married and have families and they're happy now. Can't argue with those results, so I think about that to make my own regrets a little less painful. Too much crazy shit imprinted on me when I was little to have healthy interactions with people, but I might save that for another day.

But yeah, how do you fuckers do it?

Do dogs sleep all the time to make the days go by faster?

I would if I was ignored that much by my caretakers.

How do you know if you're useless?

I lost the guy I love because I said one thing to a friend that he took the wrong way (and even knew about; it wasn't even something to keep a secret or anything it was literally a piece of information) and now I'm basically the bad guy.

My friends say it's not my fault but I feel like it is and while he says he does still love me I don't know if he's saying that just to spare my feelings or because he really does, and I don't want to ask him because he says he can't deal with relationships right now.

How can I stop feeling like a piece of shit? I've done literally everything in my power without trying to annoy him.

Some advice would be great right now.

I have posted here a few times before but fuck this is it, the bottom of the barrel. I am finally at the lowest point I can possibly be and it tears me apart inside and I need some help to hopefully escape these feelings.

Basically I am socially isolated. Day in and day out, alone. All of my old friends either cut ties with me or left town, this started back in June. I lost the person I loved around the same time but I am over that all I really feel now is anger towards that individual because they were cheating; regardless, it does influence my more negative mood. Then two months ago I lost my grandfather to cancer after a long battle with it. I have spent the past few months leaving the house only to get to work or class.

>Then meet some new people!

I would love to! But the problem is that I have terrible social anxiety and I don't know where to meet new people. The only person I am interested in talking to is a girl in one of my classes but I don't know how to start a conversion with her and I wouldn't know what to say or anything. We have exchanged glances before in class but she stopped doing that recently, and I think she believes I am creepy because of it. Basically I am up a creek without a paddle.

Basically I am left alone in the world. It hurts guys, it really does. I spend every day at home getting stoned to try to forget my problems. Spending days alone brings in really bad thoughts. When I am not depressed I get anxious that I am wasting my life. I feel disconnected, it's like an MMO but every player but you is an NPC and they cannot interact with you no matter what you try.

Basically that is why my life is shit right now. I may have forgotten a few details but they are probably not very important.

Guys, please help, what can I do to try to improve my life? Because this is unacceptable for me now but I don't know how to escape this.

Ugh

Does anyone here use antidepressants? I'm sick of feeling this way and I want to see if there's another way before I end up killing myself.

What is nostalgia?

So I see the word 'nostalgia' thrown around quite a lot and I have no idea what it is. I know the definition is reminiscing for the past, but I don't get it.

I had a shit childhood. Since grade 1 I've always been picked on, bullied and beaten up by my classmates. I always told my teachers and parents but they did nothing. I've grown to hate my past and any mention whatsoever of mine or someone else's childhood fills me with anger and rage.

So I see all these people talking about how things make them nostalgic but I have no idea what they mean or feel.

But a few weeks ago I decided to rewatch The Land Before Time (the first one) and the moment I heard the music in the opening credits I felt something and I can't really explain it, but I just cried for a solid 2 minutes. And for the rest of the movie that feeling stayed, although it was less intense.

So was that nostalgia or something else? I watched it again a few days ago but I didn't feel it the second time and that just made me sad again.

Anyone else feel sort of the same way?

Nothingness and emptiness

How can anyone live knowing that any and everything you do is for nothing? There is no reason to get up in the morning, no reason to fight depression, no reason to try and be happy for everyone around you, and no reason to be alive when nothing matters. There is no meaning to life, and everything ends in death. This is killing me inside. Hell, if anything does matter in this world, im still a failure and a depressed sack of shit, and the world is still full of too much hate and sadness to ignore. How can normal people not be freaked the hell out by this? Are they even aware? Or do they lie to themselves constantly?

I hate a lot of things in life and sadly one of them is falling in love with your friend. Having that feeling can destroy the friendship which is an outcome I wish to avoid. I'm not sure how'd they react. Right now I suffer in silence and just hoping I can move on. It would be a comfort to know anyone who can relate this.

Help me /sad/

Please help /sad/. My friend is suicidal and I don't know how to help her. She upset another friend today so started self harming again and I was like "You don't have to be a fucking saint". After that she was like "Wrong fucking word choice" and became extremely upset. I'm worried we will fall out, I just want to help her be happy, because she has given up on ever being happy, but I don't know how I'm supposed to do it because she's so secretive about everything.

Please /sad/ how do I make my friend less of a sadcunt? I have pretty much asked her what I need to do to help her and she said "nothing". But I need to feel to like there's something I can do. It's never nothing.

She doesn't deserve this, she's a good person…

Is this it?

All I ever do is go to work and come home to sit in front of the computer.

The weekends are reserved for binge drinking with my mates or watching Netflix if my friends don't have time.

I don't really live either. Lately I've come to the realization that this right here is real life. Before I always thought that my real life would start some day but that's crap. This right now is the real life and I don't really do anything.

I am 24 and haven't done anything meaningful or worth a shit. I literally have no stories to tell my nephews I don't think I'll ever have kids myself because I am worthless to women, I have no life experience yet.

I don't even feel like an adult yet besides technically being grown up. Hell, I still feel like a child despite living for myself in my own apartment supporting myself with an IT apprenticeship, which I am doing pretty good in.

I see people all the time spending time abroad for months either for University or similar shit. I haven't been out the country for longer than a week since I was a child.

I can even count all the countries I've been to on one hand. And I doubt that I'll even get the opportunity to do that in the future. But even if I could I'd do nothing different than I do now. I'd probably just hang out in the hotel and do shit on the internet.

I am no fan of meeting new people in general so I'd basically stick to myself all the time as I do now.

On top of all that I don't really have interests outside of my field and hobbies are basically non-existent. I don't think I even have to mention that I haven't even had a girlfriend yet and don't even have any prospects of changing that.

I feel like I am wasting my life. I mean, I am working on having a career in the future but I feel I waste my life as much as when I still was a NEET.

There has to be more to life than just work. I don't even know what the fuck I want out of life. Sometimes I wish a terminal illness upon myself so this decision will be taken from me.

What is living any way? I could ask people what to do with my life but then I'd live the idea somebody else imposed on me instead of living as I see fit. But I don't even know what kind of life I want.

I had a major existential crisis a few years ago I thought I got out of but I guess I just repressed it because nothing really changed other than having some sort of employment.

Hopefully I'll find a reason to live soon.

/blog

Spoke to an ex today (I know it's bad I keep ex's around to talk to but for me just telling them to fuck off and leaving them is too much to cope with) andi'm used to feeling the sort of numbing/hurting feeling you get in your chest when you're reminded of something you love being taken away from you or when you do something embarrassing but this time it was different. It started off the same with the numbing pain etc but then I just felt it idk pass down my body and it felt like I had a stitch I felt pain in my arm too for whatever reason and I instantly felt like throwing up. Welp I think my emotions are literally one day going to be the death of me. Guess that's not such a bad thing.

*PIC IRRELEVANT* (It's a Margay if you're wondering)

I don't feel feels anymore

At first I thought I was lazy. Then the laziness turned into apathy, and apathy turned into lethargy. Psychiatrist told me I had depression. Went from 89 kg to 65 kg in 3 months, no appetite, can barely sustain 1.5k calories a day.

The upside is that due to losing all my feeling I lost all social anxiety and people mistake my tiredness for alpha unreactivity or some shit, so all my social interactions are positive. For some reason beyond my comprehesion I didn't lose much muscle mass and gained a fuckton of definition despite not working out anymore, so girls oggle me all the time. Too bad I don't even have motivation to jerk myself off.

People keep responding with empathy to me, but all it does is remind me of what I lack. I feel like a sociapath, I don't feel my feels, I don't feel other people's feels. Even drugs don't get me euphoric anymore. Even worse, I'm starting to get hallucinations and delusional thought loops (thinking family/friends deliberately sabotage me to keep me depressed). Soon my rational mind won't be able to override these thoughts anymore.

Maybe I should give in to the sweet embrace of insanity. Can't be worse than offing myself. Death or insanity seem like the only ways out of this abyss.

So there was this girl who I as talking to, she was in my class

To be honest, she was what you guys would call ugly

And I don't know, she had the cutest voice ever and everything

And she fucking friendzoned like a fucking huge faggot

I'm devastated

I always knew I'm full of shit but that's the cherry topping the fucking cake

Here I am, 19, kissless, no gf ever, I really feel like the worthless piece of shit

And the worst is that she had some kind of pity to me, because she told it to me in a very kind way, even though I think she never had a boyfriend

I never had any kind of self confidence or whatever

But I don't even want to try anymore

My cat was put down today.life just progressively gets worse and worse. Everyday is just more and more of a reason to die.

I've posted it on /b/, because i needed some talk, but I'm also posting it here, the right place. Thanks before everything.

I'm 18, and I'm living with my dad "willingly", most part forced, the story in gt:

>my dad and mom are separated

>when I was a kid, like 2008, something like this, they broke up

>been living like a "nomad", mom ; dad ; mom ; dad ; mom ; (and here's when the story starts) grandma ; dad

>so, all the living places before "grandma" was when I was merely rational, still a kid, a lot immature yet

>the story began with the grandma/great grandpa/great grandma, because that was not to long ago, more or less 5 months

I do not want to scale quickly, but also do not want to make a drama, then I'll be rectilinear.

>been using drugs, rekting myself for like 2 months, was running to worse drugs each day

>depressive, attempt to be an attwhore to the family, and "tried" to suicide many times (i called for it)

>someone told me i would need to move, because shit was getting real with my great grandpa (he's dying, living by a machine at his own home) and maybe they would need to sell the house (which is something I didn't swallow yet, smells like a lie)

>dad comes a day and try to convince me to live with him

Now, this part is important, I don't want to look like a stupid adolescent. I know that he was only trying to help me, like everybody else.

>i kinda realized that I had nowhere to run, and decided "I'm losing myself, maybe i regain the old me if I go"

>ps: i could not go to my moms house, its complicated and unnecessary to explain in this story

>i went

Details of when he tried to convince me, It's that things would get better, that he would help me, in any ways that he could (dad)

>became a member of alcoholics anonymous (aka AA)

>went to a psychologist, and psychiatrist

>stop the drugs, started studying programming (still) and change shift in college to day time (I still in college, due to my turbulent adolescence )

Everything for less than one month, and now things are getting worse, i feel alone, sensing bad things again, bad willings, complicated days and infernal sadness. And yes, i tried to talk with him, but It's like he dont give a fuck now.

I feel desolate, like nothing else matters, like I told, I don't want to sound dramatic, but It's exactly how I'm feeling everyday that passes.

He prohibit me to live anywhere but with him, and anything against that would become a big fight, he's a very angry guy, even if I'm 18 now, and have options, also I don't now if I could stand the emotional pressure.

I might sounded a lot dramatic, and had like 10 typos and mispelled words, I'm not from america, but I didn't want to post it on my-country-imageboards (people of my-country-imageboards are stupid).

I not certain what I wanted by writting all this stuff, but I kinda needed. Thanks for reading.

I'm a britfag and have just gone into college. I met an old friend from my primary school and he's been trying to help get me into social environments. After a week I build up enough courage to try and ask this girl if she has a Facebook or anything so I can talk to her (I wrote it on a piece of paper) in which she replies 'sorry I don't have Facebook'. From here as I go to ask if she has Skype or even Snapchat she pulls out her phone and starts replying to a message from Facebook messenger. That was probably one of the most hurtful things i've had happen in a while. Working up to try and communicate with someone else and have them shut me down and lie to me.

argument for worthlessness

I dont know why I am writing. My ideas will not be heard. And yet I continue to propagate them. I meet so many people and all of them are resistant to change, nobody wants to move from where they are. I want to go to Canada, get a work visa. I want to have a life that isn't dragged under by the place i live. I hate my life. I hate myself. I hate it i hate it i hate it i hate it.

There is nothing left to say, except for the bitter ramblings of an old man. Our society is corrupt, as if that hasn't been said before. No one can get a decent wage if they try, and no one cares for one another. How original. The people around me are all idiots. Oh my, i think im getting somewhere now. People continue to make poor decisions and blame everyone but themselves. Oh wait, isn't that the basis of all daytime television? I also don't think that I can get any less specific on this.

I am to blame, most of all.

Logically speaking, there is one central point to all the problems that a person has with the world: themselves.

I am a loser. I am a failure. This experiment will belly up just like everything else in my life. I am weak, I am frail, I am unintelligent, unloved, and unappreciated. I am imperceptive, I am ugly, I am cruel, I am everything that has ever been wrong with the human race.

Wow, that's a lot of self-loathing, right?

Clearly it's just coming out of my ass.

I can prove it.

pls end my suffering

Losing My Fucking Mind

/sad/, I need your help.. I've posted here before, but I've been too depressed to get the motivation to do shit recently. I was doing better for a bit, but Things have been going down hill. My gf is still in school, and we don't really get to see each other in person at all, because she's still a minor and her family hates me, (I'm 18) and I love her, but all I seem to do is hurt her, and I even got a job, but the company (Rally's) was fucking me so badly I had to quit two days in. I live with a friend and his family, and I feel like a worthless shit because I can't contribute anything. I've been really feeling it now Mr. Krabs all day, and something just happened that I can't explain. I was about to browse for mods for Morrowind, just absolutely absentmindedly, and as soon as I walked into my room and closed the door, I without thinking Picked up a multitool from my floor, opened the saw, and sawed into my arm for a bout thirty seconds before smearing my bleeding arm across a piece of shale on my shelf and lighting candles over it. I have no clue why I did this. it seemed a completely normal and rational thing to do until I had finished. I've been losing my fucking mind for weeks now, and it's getting breddy bad. Advice?

Girlfriend's moving across the country in a few weeks for university, and we've decided we're doing an open relationship. We both know we'll always love each other but we both realize we'll need someone close to ourselves too.

I hadn't been sad for long time until tonight. I'm listening to Phil Collins farewell tour, and "You'll be in my heart" comes on and I start crying for the first time months. I get myself sorted out a few minutes after the song finishes, and then "I can't stop loving you" plays. There I am, bawling my eyes out again I had to lie down and cry for a few hours.

We've been together more than two and a half years now and I have no idea what I'm gonna do. I've been dealing with bad depression, probably bipolar disorder, and self-harm for the past few years and she's always tried to help me through it when when I only wanted to be dead.

I know it's going to come back when she leaves, and I'll be in a tough college course, living with my parents because I'm staying in the same city. I have no idea what to do. Anyone have similar situations?

That feel when finally making peace with the very real, very high possibility of going through life alone.

I never really had any luck or success with girls and now that I am slowly getting older it gets even harder I am 24.

At this point I don't even want to bother with them anymore because I was never good enough to be anything more than some dude they know or a friend at best.

It doesn't even hurt as much as it did before but unfortunately I think I am done with trying.

Right now I still have friends I get to hang out with and do shit with which eases the loneliness I feel rather often. But that also will end some day when they'll start caring about having a family of their own and what not.

Maybe then I will get a real doll or a dog or something to keep me company when shit will really hit the fan.

I don't really believe I'll find a nice qt to spend the rest of my life with, so I got to fill the void with other means.

Maybe I'll become an alcohol or something or maybe I'll land a decent job with decent pay so I can buy shit I don't need to impress people I don't like.

As long as I won't become homeless I don't think it'll be that bad. If the loneliness does get bad, though, I won't hesitate to lay myself to rest in cold December night on some train tracks.

Thanks for listening

old man feels

with me being the 19 year old I am, I had some form of depression and it gave me the beautiful melancholy outlook on life for the 9 years of life after I was 10, Ive grown up early to cope with taking care of myself because of a parents divorce. Being alone was normal on weekdays because my dad had to work in the rescission and money was hard to come by when he was laid off, never went a day hungry thanks to some family handouts and such and as time went on the living situation got better and we moved into the city of Lexington sometime around the age of 15.

here I am at 19 and with few friends who I wish I could see daily but life and work get in the way of ti all, I wortk at Mc' donalds and have recently finished Highschool. what lies in my personal issue is that I have what I call "old man feels" where I feel I am behind on just about everything that I was supposed to do at a certain age. I feel like I should have dated a girl well into my age of 15 (sometime around late middle school) kissed a girl (early highschool 9-10th grade) and a chance to fuck (around 11-12 grade.) and the whole things happens as it would for everyone who might have a similar situation where I am single/forever alone and everyone is/has been together for X amount of years.

I feel I am lagging behind on life, I've never been bothered by being alone until recently and I'm thinking like I'm 30 years old when im 19. I'm not ugly and when I bring up my relationship issue with people I'm always told to wait or take it. and all I've tried it all and waiting just refuses to pay up, I'm tired of these feelings and just want to have energy to put effort into anything.

Rage

Does anyone else find themselves getting extremely angry, faster than usual as they get older? I don't mean violent anger, but like, almost actually "seeing red"?

I'm in my early 20s and have been using 4chan (but now 8chan since last year) for about eight years, but even now - for about the last year or so - I find myself getting genuinely pissed off and almost shaking slightly at certain posts; this is something that I never would have had about five years ago.

Anyone else deal with this? Have any tips on stifling it?

What is your IDEAL girlfriend wife/girfriend like (physically and mentally), /sad/?

Mine would be:

Mentality/personality:

>similar sense of humour to mine (cynical, ironic without being Leddit-tier sense of humour)

>modest

>logical/good critical thinker

>conservative values (that doesn't mean religious - although I'm not totally against it)

>is against the stupid social justice shit

>likes to take care of her guy and like to be taken care of, too

>good communicator

>can cook at least cook as well as I can (or at least is willing to learn and/or help me do it)

>likes to talk a decent amount

>more of a homebody like I am

>isn't a social media/cellphone drone

>very family oriented

>enjoys simple things (like lazy weekends, curling up and watching a movie on a Friday night, etc.)

>financially literate (God knows that my ex sure wasn't)

>takes care of herself physically (doesn't need to be a gym rat or anything)

>will try to take interest in my interests or at least will try to understand why I enjoy them

>would like to get a cool dog with me

>doesn't want to live in a big city

Physically:

>Caucasian (this isn't really negotiable)

>between 5'2" and 5'8"

>has the face of an angel (this is really the most important thing for looks for me - a pretty face)

>brunette (or blonde is a second option - I'm fine with any colour though)

>athletic to very slightly chubby body

>no tattoos or dumb piercings

Yes, I know that I will die very much alone.

>tfw when you say something cringy and then later on you reflect on how cringy what you just said.

Weird Habits

What are some odd things that you do?

For me, I do this:

>been collecting pics of hot chicks for years now

>have saved 60,000+ pics

>about once per month, I run a program that checks for duplicates

>whenever I find a higher resolution pic to keep that's newer than the one I had pre-mid 2012, I get sad

>delete the shittier pic and literally salute my laptop

The reason early 2012 is the cutoff is because that's around the time before my life went all to shit.

Pathetic

Do you ever feel like you're tricking the people around you and you are actually a really horrible and pathetic person who is just acting nice and is really an attention seeker and egocentric af?

I feel like that all the time. I try to comfort myself by saying "well at least you want to be nice" but then I do it again.

I have a job interview

I posted this thread a few days ago: https://8ch.net/sad/res/915.html

So I have job interview tonight. I hope I don't fuck it up

I'm gonna fucking do it.

Monday, I'll see this girl.

I look better than me but she's the cutest thing on Earth.

I'll ask her out. I never did before and I believe it won't work but I'll keep the contact and I'll keep asking her, over and over, she will surrender eventually.

She's as kissless as I am. I guess nobody ever asked her out before. She's not ugly, she's just… Low standard. Yet she's single and I love her more than anything.

I'm gonna fucking do it.

I'm a higher standard than her. Like way higher.

I'm won't even take her to a date. I'll slowly whisper shit into her hear and look at her in her fucking eyes. She will be confused and she will not know what to do. She will eventually say yes.

Fuck it.

freedom and life are earned by those alone who conquer them each day anew

How we all doing today?

Where are you all from?

Anyone have songs they listen too when they get emotionally down?

here's a song I listen too.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XzcHJAONSSo

Fuck My Life

I'm almost 30 and a virgin.

I have an autoimmune disease. In addition to being nasty to look at it, causes a condition similar to arthritis, Which hurts like a motherfucker. The meds to treat this condition are affordable but that's not where the expense comes in. That would be the required lab tests to make sure my liver doesn't start failing. It's getting so bad that typing/playing videos games is becoming painful. The one shitty thing I had and that's starting to being taken from me.

I live in the middle of nowhere with my parents. This is makes finding a job next to impossible as I don't have a car/license. I could never afford a car so I never got the license.

Even if I could get a job I'm not sure how well I'd perform given my condition.

Then with all this shit going on in the world, I can't help but think "Why even bother? There's nothing in life for me. Why continue on?"

I feel so lonely.

Ever miss the little things exes do?

I miss how mine used to say "yesh" in a cutsey tone and with everybody else say "yes" in a dead serious tone.

oh god I miss my Cattie-Brie

Hello, /sad/. I just wanted to let you know that I'm the new board owner of >>>/kind/, and I'd appreciate it if you'd take the time to drop in and say hello. It's not really devoted to the discussion of topics pertaining to sadness or depression in general, but I think kindness is or should be a virtue valued by all, irrespective of our differences!

Tell us about your day: >>>/kind/346

I also wanted to know if the Owner of this board would be interested in an crossboard advertising agreement between our two boards?

You know what? I was gonna type out a long sob story about my life and wanting advice on asking the girl of my dreams out that's been hanging out with me for a long time, but I'm just gonna fucking do it.

The Bob Ross welcoming image plus some appropriate upbeat music that played at just the right time has given me the confidence I need. Thank you, Bob Ross and electronic music.

You guys'll see me in a few days anyways if this most likely goes horribly wrong, but fuck it. 6 months means relationship or bust for a girl to hang out with a loser like me, right?

I ride, shiny and chrome, to Valhalla!

You ever start to feel >TFW No Gf, only to stop and ask yourself "What would a gf even add to my life"?

You ever find that the answer is "Jack shit, and Jack skipped town."?

Do you ever feel like you're missing out anyway?

(It seems I don't have a suitably feelsy picture on this laptop, so have a pun-gun instead. She's from Upotte if you were wondering.)

GF just left.

Can we get a baww thread going?

dying inside

How many of you are just going though the motions? Everyday I deal with this crippling feeling that I'm useless and that I'll never do anything. Everything I try and do I end up fucking up. I have no skills and I'm stupid. All my friends have lives, jobs and date.

one of them has starting worrying about me and I feel even worst that I made him worry about me. I never talk about my problems, never have. Sometimes I wish I did, but I don't want to be a burden. I stay up till 7am and seep till 3pm. I have nothing to wake up for so why bother going to bed at a normal time? The future scares me more than anything.

How do you all deal with life? I just push it aside and deal with it as it comes or drink it away.

I'm dying inside. As time goes on I care less and less about everything.

how to get over my ex

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me 3 months ago and I'm still not over her even though our relationship didn't last long. The thing is that when I don't see her in a while I start to feel better but I see her everyday at school and it makes me feel really uncomfortable and sad… What the fuck should I do? She was the only one who made me feel a little bit less suicidal.

You ever get to the point where the days drag on and on?

Every day is the same thing. Find something to escape. ESCAPE. ESCAPE. I NEED TO ESCAPE. Those are my thoughts 24/7. I'm sick of it. Life as a NEET is horrible, but nothing else seems appealing. I have no friends because they've all lost interest in me and I feel there is no point in looking for new ones because of that. Everyone always leaves, I'm so lonely. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be alright, but I know that will never happen. What's the point /sad/?

I finished school about a week ago. I'm sure most of us hated school etc but now that schools over, for me, I have nothing to occupy myself with. Nothing to take my mind off of the loneliness. I've found myself thinking more and more on ending myself. I've tried finding a job but i've had no luck in my search (Not sure why they'd hire a depressed low life sack of shit like me anyway but it was worth a shot). I would go to some sort of club or event but every time I get near new people my heard hurts I sweat more I can't talk and I am literally petrified and think about killing everyone in that room with me. I am literally insane.

Well

Junior year just ended. Decidedly the worst year of my life so far. I failed every test that holds my future by the neck, lost all my friends(if you could even call them that to begin with), experienced an ongoing existential crisis, and devolved into a self loathing, introverted, druggie obsessed with escapism.

But that's not why I'm here.

I'm here because I am a vulgar disgrace to my mom.

I abuse the privileges she gives me

I soak up almost all the money she makes

I'm unappreciative, dishonest, and mean to her

I turned to weed when she pleaded me not to

I missed so much school I nearly got expelled

I made her suffer through the past six months of her not knowing what was wrong with me or how to help

And worst of all

I sold my ADD medication over the year behind her back in order to fund my excessive self medication. She just found out.

This poor woman is the only person left on this god forsaken planet that genuinely cares for and loves me

I want to be fucking tortured

Anyone here not over their breakup with their Boyfriend or Girlfriend?

It's been a few years since my exgf and I broke up.

I don't even think she acknowledges my existence anymore or would even attempt to.

This was in highschool. I became so depressed that I ended up dropping out of Highschool because I didn't want to be anywhere near her or anyone else really.

I'm 23 now.

The way she broke up with me was what killed me. It was like she just suddenly didn't care anymore. The tone in her voice said it all. And this was done over the phone, as sad and embarrassing as it sounds. And ever since then I've been in a rut.

We both had the same friends, but I ended up turning into a hermit and turned to video games and heavy computer usage. And it's been like that ever since.

Computers and video games served as a sort of escapism for me, but it's taken such a drastic and disgusting toll on me.

My speech is much worse than what it was. And my conversational skills took a hit too.

I'm very unfit though not overly obese (thank god)

I always try to tell myself "OK tomorrow I'll change my ways for sure" but my current way of life always drags me back down.

I keep a lot of how I feel to myself, but places like this give me some sort of an outlet to try and express myself the best I can.

I really want to change. I really do.

I know I'm disappointing my parents by becoming such a shit stain on society. But for some people, like me, it's hard to move forward alone.

I just want to quit. I see everyone leaving me. Slowly I see them change. Conversations cut shot, making no effort to talk to me, only using me because I have the ability to give advice even though I can't advise myself to stop being depressed or to atleast control it. I am addicted to self harm. It's like I give myself a reason to cut myself. I just can't stop. I have a lot of built up anger and i'm pretty much classed as insane by this point. I feel everyone has a reason to die and if I was given the opportunity i'd probably kill someone. I have a few people in mind. I have a family but I can't trust them and I feel shitty because some people have less than I do and i'm not talking about the whole African bullshit where they don't go without water cause it's not just people in Africa who go without as you can see by actually reading this site.

I've wanted to die for years. I only ever started self harming 2-3 years ago. I have been depressed for a while but I never knew it I felt the sadness I did but I didn't understand it. I can't sustain a relationship for more than 2 months. I feel bad for saying that too because some of you haven't even had a girl but this shit hurts so much.

I have 3 friends left. 3 true friends. 1 lives close but we don't talk or see eachother much. The other 2 live in Arizona. Considering i'm in Britain I have no chance of seeing them anytime soon. I have an Ex who claims to still love me but she's stopped giving a shit about me which is what happens when you become friends with your ex. They ALWAYS stop giving a shit. I'm quite attractive and know my way around a woman to get her to like me but it never lasts.

I want to move to America for the soul reason I want to be shot to death. I want to break into someone's house, threaten their kid and be shot by their father or some shit like that.

I'm too much of a pussy to kill myself and I know jumping and tablets aren't always effective. Hanging with that too. I was thinking of ordering something to quickly poison myself with but my dad is always home and I would never get it passed him and it's not like i'm going to mail it too a friends house even if I do actually get it delivered.

I thought that life would be interesting. I thought everything would get better as they say it will. Even when I had a girl suicide was always on my mind. I've tried so much to help myself get better but it never works. I wanted to be a Therapist. I see now though that the whole worlds fucked. I know all the shit a Therapist does I know how to fix myself but I can't. No matter how hard I try I can't. People love me I know that but it's impossible for me to live like this. I can't live for other people especially when I can't even live for myself.

I'm a lost cause I do not belong here. My life is probably a life people envy. I'm intelligent. Not motivated but intelligent which is why i'm only using fullstops and capital letters here because I am so unmotivated to do anything.

I know i'm going to end up alone no matter what happens. I will never get the girl I want. I will never find true love and be happy. I will never get the job I want and I will never be able to help anyone when I can't help myself. I am truly better off dead. I know it's going to be tough on the people who do care about me when I die but when i've been shot and i'm slowly bleeding out I will be smiling. I will have no regrets apart from not dying sooner. I'm only a teenager is what i'm usually told and that I have a lot to live for but what kind of teenager no what kind of person is going to have a happy life when all they can think about is ending it? How can anyone be happy when they just want to die.

I'm a cheat and a liar. I've threatened someone with a knife before in my street because I just snapped. I have bullied people I have ignored people who needed me and I have failed in saving peoples lives. A man is dead because I couldn't save him. Some people are too far gone I guess. I've wasted my whole life playing video games and that's all people see out of me. I sit indoors and play video games. I am a waste of resources. I wish I could die. I really wish I could die. I've just been used and i'm a backdrop for the lonely and because I am lonely myself I accept it. I wanted a nice girl and a few kids. I wanted a life. I wanted to be happy but I see that is never going to happen.

I've made my decision. I want to die. Now it's just a clock ticking to the end. I think the last thought I will have will be about my ex. She's a nice girl. She hurt me so much but she's a nice girl. The stupid thing about it is she probably wont even find out i'm dead. Not until after a long while and when she does then I doubt highly it will upset her. The one thing I wish though the only thing I wish is for her to care more. But I know that wish wont ever come true.

>Dad has incurable cancer in multiple parts of body

>Mastiff has bone cancer

>Too much of poorfag to do anything about her cus dad is priority obviously

>Very few friends that don't normally wanna hang out

>Don't have a career picked out

>Shit job

>haven't even graduated yet

At least I have supporting gf, which makes me able to barely hold on.z

Here's pug cus pugs make me happy, hope it does the same for you.

Masturbation

Does anyone else feel extreme guilt after masturbating? I'm not some hardcore christian or anything, but when i finish i just feel like a disgusting freak. I haven't done it in 2 weeks.

Therapist?

Heaven is Terrifying

I don't know why I'm writing this.

I can't take it anymore, /sad/. Tears fall from my eyes as I commit these words to text.

I know song related is ponyfag/10, but it's instrumental, and it really fucking captures my feel. Heaven is Terrifying, /sad/.

Outwardly, I appear mostly normal. Everyone sees me as being strong, confidant, and attractive. Sounds great, right? Here's the thing; I am none of those things. I am half insane, I'm self-conscious to the point of hating practically everything about myself, I think I'm ugly as fuck; I'm covered in scars and am skinny as fuck with a nose that has obviously been broken more than once, and my body is all fucked up and dis-proportioned.

I soldier on, under the appearance of popularity, while in reality, I have two or three friends who never talk to me. I have a gf, but her family hates me for some reason and won't allow her to see me. I feel like I disappoint her with everything I do. My Mother is dying. My Father is dead. My brother is dying, and by other brother died overseas. All of my Grandparents are dead. I live with a friend, but I don't feel welcome. I turn to chan to comfort me, but I get called a normie faggot by everyone I meet, even people from /sad/ and /suicide/. I feel as though I am truly alone. I do not want to live this life anymore. Everything comes easy to me, but I have no motivation, and I am so judgmental that I can't do anything or talk to anyone in person because I find myself hating them for some petty reason. I am already dying on the inside, what point is there in living on the outside?

So, My dad has cancer and apparently dying.

I havent seen him in years, since my parents divorced and he had threatened to kill me and my mother.

Hes no doubt a bad person and has a long track record of doing awful things, i wont go into it since dont think any of you care about those details.

Anyway, I recently heard from my sister than he wants to speak to me before he dies, he is exaggerating somewhat for sympathy, im sure. But its gotten me thinking about things.

I cant bring myself to speak with him, not because im angry with him, but because after so long of having to deal with his behavior, threats, etc, i just cant find the courage to do it.

But I cant help but wonder if i'll regret not speaking with him in the future.

I'm feeling conflicted.

is everyone here just s a d 'ironically'

>head hurts

>angry at everyone

>have no bf and never will because all gays look like sjws to outsiders

>starting to affect my mind

>lashing out

>everything is getting shittier as people's priorities get more absurd

>people telling me to calm down

>seems like i have to lay the law down myself

>on the verge of knocking motherfuckers out for no reason

>mfw can't hold on much longer

>mfw caught up in the world while its dying

Anyone else in a horrible mixture of depression and rage?

Or is rage a symptom of depression?

Parkinsons linked to depression?

I guess this is just another added piece of bad news to stack on the already towering weight of emotions we keep inside.

Why do we even bother?

Why bother coming here and supporting ourselves? We all just want to die anyway, why prolong it?

I have a theory that everyone here, to some degree, including me, secretly loves the pain they experience. It's like if we're addicts but can't come to terms with it and we just let it eat away at us, day after day.

Good night guys, hopefully forever.

Feels

Music

Songs that make you want to die

College/Education Thread

The one girl who I am confident around and can be myself around just said indirectly that she would never consider a relationship with me.

It hurts so much.

The only thing I see worth doing is browsing this board. It's literally all I have left to do. I am at school which is the only way I can access this site because my dad took my PC. I have nothing now but this site. This board. These feels.

Pokerface issue

>tfw sad things in life actually always hits home

>tfw tired of crying

>tfw want to cry by cant.

>tfw morbidly honest

>tfw labelled as cruel for being stoic.

>tfw no gf/bf

I heard/read alot of this rants regarding

>tfw no gf/bf

I know, its something to be depressed upon, and is quite the literal sad.

But point is, in this age we're living in? this ideals of society upon individuality of being in a relationship, the rights, the understanding and pressure of modernism/religion, also..personal wishes and secrecy?

This, lots of the time, forces us to be desperate, sadly, chronically desperate. To the point where we can just swoop and take whatever we got.

I'd place me. I'm in love with a person who is already having another. My love is genuine, i really do. The person knows, accepts, and plays the way.

However, bless me oh based one, how I have to endure the unsettling jealousy and silence that I have to vow to keep. How I have to play dumb, to act like nothing is going on. It BURNS THE REASONING out of me.

When fights happen, it gets easily bad, I'll end up on the short end of the stick, no matter what. its 2 on 1. Who I'm gonna run to when things get icky? The partner certainly has the original. I'll be left hanging. I'll be left to the mercy.

But, this is where it gets weird, dumbly weird. I can't let go. Knowing I'll be alone one day and getting a new partner isnt gonna be easy.

Note: getting some wankeys to be your booty mate isnt hard. You're seeking real love, some soul-with relationship that you wanna treasure so badly that it'll be your everything.

I can't just, let go. Fuckit, and just well, find another. Those sayings,

"Plenty fish out at sea? Flowers in a field for the bees? Theres 7Billion Lives out there in the world?"

Well, I'm an anchovy counts as a fish. Even a shark is a fish. Flowers? Rafflesia is a stinkin huge flower of a parasite. 7 Billion people? with lots of them might end with a bullet in your head or eat your leg.

Sometimes, >tfw no gf/bf might be a good. Maybe I'm just a beta sucker.

Depression and sex addiction

Not trying hard enough?

The new feels

Alcohol and Weed

Thoughts

The ghost woman of my past.

Chuunibyou/2ndGrader Issues.

How do you cope?

it's all so fucking worthless.

My new home

bad feel vs. no feel

My feels and ASMR

Why must people like this breed?

Suicide

Somebody talk to me before I kill myself

Why?

Friends

Chronic pain

Shit Family

Depression