cadf1e No.184
Here's my somewhat still on-going story:
>a year ago,be me, 17 years old, still in German High-school
>doing pretty moderate, still shit in math
>during that time i just went to one of my few friends
>play COD-shit and stuff and joke about everything
>meet this girl from another friend in COD
>begin to talk
>actually find something interessting about her
>decide to add on skype
>so we talked, and found out we had a bunch of shit in-common
>talked till 3 in the morning almost every day
>got a little worse in school, but not by much
>had problems with others in class
>could let out my worries to this girl, called Sophie
>talked for almost 2 months without seeing eachother personaly
>decide to have a voice chat
>suprised to find a actual girl behind the camera, and not a old hairy faggot
>unbelievably cute, probably a 8/10
>not disgusted away from my, i would say 6/10 looks
>keep talking, and slowly falling in love with her character
>decide to visit her
>ask for her address
>about 3 hours away with train
>cost about 70 Euro's
>decide to pay it anyway's
>i am exited as fuck as you would expect a virgin to be
>meet her finally
>come to her place
>spend hours just laying on the floor, not knowing what to do
>(yea, i was that beta)
>cuddle, her head on my shoulder
>stay in that position for hours
>time to go
>tears shed
>both wish we had more time together
>rush to the tiny train-station
>but i missed the sub-train (to the next actual train-station)
>go back to her place
>find out my train home from the train-station was cancel'd anyway
>I silently thank all gods for this miracle
>get matress
>cuddle again
>finally kiss her almost before midnight to crown the day
>stuff happens
>feelsgoodman.jpeg
>next day, time to head home
>both promise to see each other one day again
>train leaves
>she waves, and i see a tear from her eye
>get tear myself, and wave back
>train ride happy as fuck
>get home, sleep
>next couple of day's she and me stopped talking over a couple of weeks
>worry about her, because she had some father issues and was under depression
>didn't answer me
>wanted to send her something, but she rejects
>she finally says we should stop talking and part way's
>suddenly come to realization it's going to be over forever
>can't take it and pussy out
>cry like a bitch for days
>school became even more harder
>go to therapy after a mental breakdown of this and a new fear of a school shooting happening
>just basicly afraid of getting shot in school by a fat-emo-kid
>no idea where that came from tho
>soon get over it it seems
>become a little more happier, and go to friends again
>fast forward 4 weeks ago
>left Germany after graduation, becoming more depressed as i left all my friends
>2 weeks in the US, get a random email
>it's her mom
>say's her daughter commited suicide almost a week after we broke up
>only now could tell me
>realized she deleted me from everywhere
>also deleted my friends who had some contact with her
>finally broke down
>the one girl i truly loved for all the things and all her qwerks,just gone from the earth, never to be held in my arms again
>i could've actually saved her
>more guilt trips and depression
>i know i should move on, but this girl, she somehow changed me
>she even told me once: "please don't remember me, cuz i am not worth remembering
>now i can't forget her, still am having guilt trips to this day
>fast forword to now
>no friends, live in shit state of MD, have to go to college soon, fear of flunking it
>fear of disapointing my parents even further after somewhat confessing i am a anime weeabo, who basicly doesn't care for anything anymore and seeks somewhat comfort in cute anime battleship-girls
I know this isn't really "heavy depressive" stuff for most people on this board, but i just wanted to finally get this off my shoulder's and to see if somebody may care or not to read all this
TL;DR: The girl that dumped me commited suicide and now i am a loner faggot that can't get shit done and just cares for cute anime ship-girls
>pic related, it's the only picture i have left of her ( i know it's shit, and doesn't say anything, yet i can't delete it for some reasons..)
OP was shamed for unironically starting a thread with "be me"
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