I'm going to post in this thread because it's about to fall off and I'm so ashamed of myself that I'd rather not draw attention to my story in any way, but at the same time I have to post something or else I might lose it. The long and the short of it is I just lost a SO of three years that I had every intention of marrying this Tuesday. Maybe Monday. I can't remember. She'd had a lot of different problems over the course of time. Shitty doctors prescribing the wrong medication for problems that they either only imagined existed or existed because of the wrongful medication, an abusive ex-bf, a family history plagued with suicide and alcoholism and a whole mess of things. I tried my best to be supportive and do good things and be a shining light in her life. But over the past 9 months or so, I started to notice a definitive pattern where my personal interests would invariably get shoved off to the side, even during times when there was nothing particularly emotionally pressing. Now, I'm pretty simple. All I really wanted to do was play video games with her and watch some anime. Not a tall request, but every single time I'd get shut down. This, combined with the fact that she seemed to not be improving much or at all despite my encouragement and good deeds, started to sink me into a mental slump myself, which I guess at this point has evolved into full-blown depression. All I do is play FFXIV, go to classes, eat, and sleep. I don't produce any content that makes for interesting conversation, and now I don't know what it's like to do the things I used to do. I know I did them but it's like there an invisible something that prevents me from doing them. So she left me, on the grounds that we were only hurting each other. It really hurts. I spent three years, a large amount of mental, social, and financial effort to keep this woman happy and healthy, and now I'm gone because I can't handle my own problems, much less hers. I'm not going to pull the "women are evil manipulators" card because I understand that at this point in time I'm pure dead weight and anybody in a personal relationship with me would want to be free of it. I just want this dead feeling inside me to leave. I want to be free, to smile again. To have friends. To look forward to things. I want to do more than move from bed to desk to food over a 24 hour period. If you read this before the thread falls off, please don't bump it. I want my story to die and stay dead.