/sad/ - Depressed

Yeah. I feel you man. I sorta like this but i'd be able to live without it. I don't really want it.

You spoke some painful truth. I could relate.

I'm not even sure why I'm still facing what I am facing up with. I could like, fuck it off, and walk away, as soon as I can. But something just ..

Kept me staying and hurting up more.

The only emotions I feel any more are sadness and some sort of vague not-sadness that just leaves me confused and wanting the sadness back.

>>589

….

This. We are already, too damn empty, and merely emotionless due, filled mostly with just loads of sad and regret, or in those likes.

Without those..or losing, those, felt like we lost something thats actually ours. Its shitty, but its ours.

My sad, my very own, personal sadness.

Op here.

I basically have two states, one where I'm incredibly sad and angry and jnable to understand why i could possibly be happy and it lasts for a few weeks.

I can also get very happy and energetic and unable to understand why I could ever feel sad. This also lasts a few weeks and then it fades away.

My two moods just cycle around constantly.

yeah i got addicted to the sadness. then i went on meds and now i don't feel anything. sometimes i miss the depression, as distorted as that statement sounds…it was comforting, familiar.

It's much easier and comforting being depressed than having to ride the emotional roller coaster that is life.

I'm here to lurk and see that I'm not alone.

This might be my first post on this board.

I'd love to leave everything behind, except for what it would do to my family and the few friends I've got.

Why not go to my friends and family for support?

I'm a grown man now. I've got a job, and most of everything on my surface looks normal (no gf though). I don't want to be an emotional black hole to them for the same reason that I can't kill myself. So they get to see me sad sometimes, but they can't ever know how I want to leave everything.

As for secretly loving the pain I experience; no, I don't think I'm that fucked up yet. Though, sometimes I get in a bad situation and it is interesting in a detached, intellectual sense.

>>612

this sounds like bipolar

>>578

Dying is too much of a hassle. I just want to disappear.

>>689

Wish I have never been born world and humanity both are pure shit