Cam Newton: OH FUCK, DUDE. I'M SO FUCKING GOOD, MY ELITE O-LINE, D AND RB DON'T MEAN SHIT, I'M JESUS. OH WATCH ME DANCE.
ESPN: Oh fuck, Cam, you ARE good. Dance brother. OBJ, you're an asshole, quit dancing.
Cam Newton: HELL YEAH HE'S AN ASSHOLE, OH FUCK AM I GOOD. MMM. I'M GONNA DANCE ON EVERY PLAY!
ESPN: Well keep on dancing! You're being totally professional!
Cam Newton: AH FUCK DUDE, I HAVEN'T GOT INJURED. WATCH ME SUCK MY OWN DICK. OH YEAH, THAT'S CAM NEWTON'S DICK IN MY MOUTH, FUCKING ELITE MEAT, NIGGA. I FEEL FUCKING HONORED.
ESPN: How does that dick taste, Cam?
Cam Newton: THAT'S CAM NEWTON'S DICK, IT TASTES LIKE FLATTERY TO HAVE THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH. *SLURP SLURP*, FUCK THAT IS SOME GOOD DICK.
ESPN: Can I have a taste, Cam?
Cam Newton: FUCK YOU ASSHOLES, THAT'S CAM NEWTON'S DICK. ONLY CAM NEWTON GETS TO SUCK THAT DICK.
ESPN: Speaking of assholes like that god damned OBJ, can we lick yours?
Cam Newton: I DUNNO IF IT TASTES GOOD, LET ME TRY. MMMHMMM!!! THAT TASTES GREAT! OH YEAH, BWAH.
ESPN: Cam Newton has confirmed that his asshole tastes good, if Cam Newton says it tastes good it must taste good. We wanna lick that asshole.
Cam Newton: WELL THEN GIVE IT A SHOT, JUST DON'T LICK MUH BALLS, YOU HAVEN'T EARNED THE PRIVILEGE TO LICK CAM NEWTON'S TASTY BALLS. ONLY REAL NIGGAS GET DAT SALTY BRINE.
ESPN: OH YEAH! We love it! Let us lick that asshole. Fuck that is a good asshole to lick! This just in: Cam Newton's asshole tastes like gumdrops and cotton candy!
Cam Newton: MMHMMM BWAH, THAT IS A GOOD ASSHOLE. THAT'S CAM NEWTON'S ASSHOLE!
ESPN: CAM NEWTON MVP! We just licked this asshole and all sources confirm that this asshole is first rate. OH YEAH!
Cam Newton: YOU'RE GOD DAMNED RIGHT IT IS! NNNNNNNGH, KEEP ON LICKIN'.
ESPN: MMMMHMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!! That is a tasty fucking asshole. We feel honored to tongue that anus, that is a fucking first rate anus for us to tongue.
Cam Newton: SUCK THAT ANUS, BWAH! WATCH ME DAAANCE!
ESPN: We are now sucking Cam Newton's anus and it is DELICIOUS!
Cam Newton: FUCK YEAH IT IS! I'M CAM FUCKING NEWTON! Y'ALL NIGGAS CANT SEE ME! WATCH ME SUCK MY PENIS AND LICK MUH BALLS.