>>3087
Yes, my master.
>be me
>hanging out with some friends in high school, we're going to see a movie
>fringe element girl who is a friend of a friend comes, megaqt in my rangefinder
>wearing some volcom or whatever shirt that has a pocket with stormtroopers and TIE fighters on it (pic related)
>lightsaberignitionsound.mp4
>Luke, I HAVE an approach vector. I AM set.
>"Hey, are you a Star Wars fan?"
>"Of course I am! I heard you're also a big fan anon :^)"
>"Yeah I'm a big ol nerd about it. Been a fan since I was a youngling"
>"Same here, I'm like a mega fan"
>When she says that, anon's hopes skyrocket.
>Chat a little bit about favorite movie, she says "the original" instead of A New Hope which should have been my first tip.
>I ask if shes read any of the books or anything
>"Oh yeah I've read like all of them, I love them!"
>doubt.jpeg
>somehow break off to go to the bathroom
>google some Star Trek novel names
>come back
>"hey did you read The Dominion War?"
>"Yeah anon, that was one of my favorites!"
>ihaveyounow.png
>"Who are your favorite characters?"
>"Uh haha I dunno I can't pick. Star Wars has such great villains and heroes"
>"The Dominion War is a Star Trek novel"
>"I, uh, well"
>"Were you maybe thinking of Dark Passions?"
>"Yeah, that's it!"
>"Also a Star Trek novel."
>"Well -"
>Time to go in for the kill
>"Haha that's ok, they all have such similar names."
>She looks confused, but hopeful that I will grant her mercy and allow her to live. At this point most of the group is just silently watching.
>"Well, who is your favorite Sith Lord?"
>She looks relieved. "Definitely Darth Vader."
>"Ah yes, the tragedy of Bendak Starkiller makes for such a great story. His fall to the dark side in the prequels makes such a great story."
>"Seriously. I cried so hard when he fell to the dark side."
>This is where my training comes in handy. My passion, my hate, my anger, my suffering is now transferred to her.
>"Bendak Starkiller is from a video game. You haven't even seen the movies have you? For fuck's sake, Anakin Skywalker is practically a household name. How dare you wear a Star Wars shirt if you haven't even seen the films? You are a culture vulture, replace your shirt or leave."
>flustered as fuck
>cant think of anything to say
>"I'm gonna go watch this movie, see ya nerds"
>a couple loyal troopers follow me into the theatre
>an assortment of twi'lek and zeltron babes fight over sitting beside me after my display of skill
>Ventress sucks me off through the whole film because she's so impressed
>Sheev gives me my own fleet
>Base Delta Zero after the film is done
>Don't fuck with Lord Anon