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File: 1450294355750.png (264.9 KB, 600x479, 600:479, Staring.png)

 No.9105

Calling that trainwreck of a propaganda film a movie is being nice, so I will refer to it as "film".

Now for the the top 22 things that stood out as bad about the film for me:

1. The focus on the female (most of Hispanic looking) background characters. Background characters should NOT be in focus. Yet this film constantly made a point on paning over and zooming in on the female background characters… the no name characters that is. Every time there was a new scene where there was a female "human" character in it, the movie ALWAYS focused ion the female first. It was very pathetic as it was obvious that they were trying to cater to SJW's.

2. Rey – the female lead – is a Mary Sue… and one that never shuts up.

3. Even before Rey realize that she can use the force, she is using it… and not in a accidental "I threw somebody across the room" sort of way… no she uses it as mindbending… and when it doesn't work she continues trying to use it until it does work. Yet – even after this, she doesn't know that she had used the force. Wtf?

When in her final fight against Ben Solo, all of a sudden when she realizes that she can use the force… she basically becomes a ninja Jedi without having had any training in it. (see Mary Sue)

4. When the planet is falling apart and she has defeated Ben, he falls to the ground. She is standing right next to him.. then a crack forms and all of a sudden they are close to 20meters apart. And not just the crack, the ground between them and them and the gap has magically suddenly appeared.

5. When fighting against Fen, even though he was wounded, Ben still sucked at fighting – allowing Fen several hits on him.

6. later when fighting Rey, and they grab each other arms in a power struggle… Rey apparently has some sort of magical body because she shows that she is just as strong as a man that is almost twice her size.

7. When the planet explodes and the X-wing pilots escape, the camera shows us the cheering pilots. And while we did have a fat guy in the first movie… in this one – aside from The "best pilot" Pon, the two pilots they shows cheering is a fat guy with poor bear growth and a pudgy looking woman that looks like she hasn't worked a day in her whole life.

8. The pacing was pure crap.

9 For some reason when Rey and Fen they escape the first planet, the flee in a millennium falcon only to almost immediately be picked up by a freighter that Han Solo had been commandeering. Really? he just happened to show up at that exact time?

10. Fen is constantly shown to be a moron that can't do anything. That would be okay, but it leaves a bad taste when Rey always has the answers and bail him out.

11. There are too many jumps back and forth. (see terrible pacing)

 No.9106

>>9105

12. female "Yoda". ugghh…

13. They seriously overestimate "light speed". Yes I know that the Light Speed in Star Wars isn't actually Light speed… it is much faster – BUT, even so the speed which the falcon and other ships traveled in this film was ridiculous. IN the original movie the trip from Tattoine to Alderan took at least several hours using Light speed. They even have scenes where Luke is shown training with Ben and C3P0 plays a game with Chewie. Yet in this movie, especially obvious at the end of the film – they travel across a distance of at least half the galaxy… withing less than 20 seconds. Fuck.

14. When the silvered female Trooper had fixed it so that the shields would be down on the planet… if she stays on the planet she is as good as dead. So… Fen wonders what they should do with her. Han Solo suggest they drop her down a disposal chute. Indeed Han Solo figures the female Storm Trooper could die there… but it still is a ridiculous question. She would die anyway so why not just shoot her once she is done lowering the shield?

15. Han Solo dies… so the movie should have been about him. If they want to set up Rey as the new hero that is fine – but this movie should have been Han Solo and Chewies! This was the last time we would see him, and instead of allowing him to truly shine – he is relegated to a sidekick.

16. When Han solo dies this is in truth the REAL climax of the movie. But instead of ending the movie shortly afterwards… we get a boring dragged out fight first with Ben vs Fen, then Ben vs Mary Sue Rey. And THEN the planet explodes – and THEN the background (see fat pilots) are allowed screen time as if they were actually important to the fans… and then everyone goes back to the rebel base… and THEN they travel and meet up with Luke (after a really long walk up a mountain) and THEN… then the movie ends. Wtf? Hans' death was treated as nothing special.

17. For some reason Rey is given the Millennium Falcon… and Chewie becomes her co-pilot? But shouldn't the ship now belong to Chewie?

18. When they go to find Luke – why are they sending Rey? Sure she had the light saber… but she has absolutely (as far as everyone there knew) no ties to Luke. Sure Leia had to be the general, but she could have just left to find her brother… especially seeing as Light speed only took 20 seconds in this movie. Why the hell did they send a person they had just met… and one that Luke had NEVER met?

19. The Blue Light Saber. This wasn't the light saber that Luke created himself… it was the one that belonged to Vader… but this Light Saber disappeared down a chute on Bespin. Why the hell where they trying to make a random Light Saber appeared "special"? It wasn't… Vader even mentioned that Luke's green Light Saber was superior. And how would female Yoda know it had belonged to Luke if she found it? Did it leave some feelings of the Force?

20. Stupid force crap. No, not how the force works… but rather how this film uses the force as a convenient deus ex machine. Something dumb happens? Oh that was the force! Rey finds the Light Saber? Oh that was her destiny because "the force". Rey suddenly becomes a Jedi ninja? Oh? that was the force!! Bloody hell!! We all liked Luke because he actually had to grow into the person he later became… we were taken on a journey! he wasn't a ninja Jedi just because he could feel the force!

21. What the hell was the point of Luke having disappeared? What was the point of the map when it only took them 20 seconds to travel there once they had the map? This was just retarded story telling. The search for Luke if spanned out could have been material for at least three movies if handled properly… and then we wouldn't have had the cluster fuck that they shoved down our throats in this horrendous hodgepodge of bad ideas.

22. And maybe worst of all… the ultimate slap to the what was Hans Solo and Leia… When Han Solo is dead and everyone comes back to the rebel base…

Who do Leia walk up too? Whom does she hug and seek comfort from? Is it from Han's best friend – the guy That could be called Han's brother? No – it is Rey. Leia walks up to Rey whom she up until that moment only had exchanged at tops three words with… and hugs her. Not Chewie… not a person she has known for 30+years… not a person that must have truly been suffering. Nope, instead she walks up and hugs a girl that is a stranger to her and hugs her.

yeah… fucking bullshit.


 No.9110

>>9106

>17. For some reason Rey is given the Millennium Falcon… and Chewie becomes her co-pilot? But shouldn't the ship now belong to Chewie?

beyond anything else, this is what upsets me the most


 No.9115

Man, this is not how you do a "passing of the torch movie" if all you said is accurate. You don't pander to the new characters by having everyone, especially the original characters, fawn over them. They have to earn that respect, both in-universe and from the audience.

Seems like the entire premise of the movie is DOA, but since there had to be a transition to new characters at some point, this is what should've happened:

7: intro the new characters, but focus primarily on the originals

8: balance between the originals and new, but have the original characters show their age/cracks in the "legend." New characters still not entirely respected, but give them an opening to earn that respect in the future.

9: Greater focus on the new characters, but originals are still there. New characters overcome incredible odds and earn the respect at the end.

These steps only work because we know Disney has plans to milk Star Wars beyond this one trilogy. What they have with 7 reeks of desperation of being loved and cherished as much as the original trilogy. God damn I hope this gets the backlash it deserves because I'd rather have a string of poor-quality films like the prequels than a trilogy that shamelessly tries to one-up an existing story by knocking down old characters so the Mary Sue can seem all the more perfect.


 No.9117

Someone please tell me that Snoke isn't fucking Palpatine.

Please God don't let them ruin him.


 No.9118

>>9117

He isn't, and he's not Plagueis either. He's not a 25 foot tall snake nor a dark side space dragon. He's actually something new.

Honestly I think Snoke came out looking like the best new character.


 No.9119

File: 1450310222210.jpg (Spoiler Image, 5.42 KB, 480x360, 4:3, sheev, original.jpg)

>>9118

Rip off of the original emperor sheev hologram from ESB


 No.9124

>>9118

Good. But was that CGI face really the best they could do? It looked fucking terribad.


 No.9131

>>9124

Allegedly. I'm given to understand that Snoke went through a lot of trial and error even after they settled on what he's supposed to like. They kept trying to make practical effects and CGI work in different ratios but didn't think his warped/handsome dualism worked until they went full computer graphics.

Personally I'm hoping that's why they cloak in shadows for his scenes in this movie and they're going to be trying out ways to make it prettier for the sequels. I'm also hoping that they don't find some other way to fuck up with Snoke by making hims use Dathomiri magick or whatever the hell.


 No.9150

>>9117

>>9118

He could still be a malformed Palpatine clone.


 No.9151

>>9124

Judging from all the leaked footage, the cgi in the new one is pretty disappointing.


 No.9155

File: 1450329903496.png (10.38 KB, 359x291, 359:291, 1445690968468.png)

>>9150

I'd fucking laugh my arse off if they did that. Literally one of the worse aspects of the old EU was the return of Palpatine and THAT'S the part they choose to apply to the Sequel Trilogy canon.


 No.9158

>>9155

tbh fam i enjoyed the young sheev returning because he cucks luke

after that though it's just ridiculous


 No.9163

>>9155

There's three possibilities:

1. Snoke is Darth Plague, or some other ancient SIth

2. Snoke is a Sheev clone

3. Snoke is a Not-Youzan-Vong

My money would be on a Not-Vong invasion in the next two films. How else do they justify infinite Star Wars sequels?


 No.9169

>>9163

I wouldn't put it past them to do a Yuuzhan Vong-style invasion because they've already looked to the worst stories of the New Republic era for ideas. But instead of an alien species, they'd more likely go with a full-on return of the Sith a la the Legacy Era books.

Hard to predict what they'll do since we have no idea what the time skip will be in between 7 and 8.


 No.9184

>>9105

> 2. Rey – the female lead – is a Mary Sue… and one that never shuts up.

> 3. Even before Rey realize that she can use the force, she is using it… and not in a accidental "I threw somebody across the room" sort of way… no she uses it as mindbending… and when it doesn't work she continues trying to use it until it does work. Yet – even after this, she doesn't know that she had used the force. Wtf?

When in her final fight against Ben Solo, all of a sudden when she realizes that she can use the force… she basically becomes a ninja Jedi without having had any training in it. (see Mary Sue)

Not surprising, JJ Abrams is a SJW cuck.

> 17. For some reason Rey is given the Millennium Falcon… and Chewie becomes her co-pilot? But shouldn't the ship now belong to Chewie?

Because she's a boring mary-sue. She should be always the center of the attention and always better than everyone. Otherwise they would be "stripping her of power".


 No.9185

>>9184

Look at the Avengers 2 for example. Black Widows had some flaws and feminists raged at Joss Whedon for it. Because female characters can't have flaws anymore. They should be powerful 100% of the time.


 No.9186

File: 1450359818569-0.jpg (1.05 MB, 2048x1768, 256:221, Batgirl-pulled-cover.jpg)

File: 1450359818591-1.jpg (526.03 KB, 1227x1821, 409:607, Bane_0020.jpg)

>>9185

And that "controversial" Batgirl cover. They stripped Batgirl of her power, feminists said. Because this never happened with Batman before.


 No.9191

>Snoke

What kind of lame name is that? Anyway… my bet? Somekind of failed "secret project" or something, like some Palpatine clone who did wake up as a failsafe if the original Palps died. Or a failed clone.

And again the duo "Sith Master/Apprentice" "Not-Palpatine/Not-Vader" is lame as fuck.


 No.9247

>>9110

Why? Chewie likes Rey and she's obviously a great pilot (and engineer), could you imagine how shit it would be if Rawraghhh was in charge of the ship? Or are you an SJW faggot who thinks this is blatant racism?


 No.9249

>>9247

Because it wasn't her ship. She is a kid. he is some 200+ years with probably hundreds of travels under his belt and many of them in the Falcon. Rey is just brat that showed up, ended up being partly responsible for Han Solo dying… and even if Chewie did like her… even if this wasn't just Han Solo being his usual smooth talking self – Chewie had still only met her ONE day ago. (actually less but meh)

Rey was BAGGAGE!!


 No.9260

>>9247

If your best friend you've known for decades one of your closest family members died and willed their most prized shit (that you both had a lot of good times with) to someone they met less than a day ago, you'd be understandably pissed as well. That's exactly what happened here. Chewie got fucked out of a ship that was rightfully his.


 No.9265

>>9260

Well, its not the first time Chewie get screwed. He never receive a medal in the end of A New Hope.


 No.9269

>>9184

never is it stated that rey was given the falcon

and chewie obviously didn't mind having her around since she knew how to fly the ship and needed a co-pilot

imo poe needs to fill the han solo gap and start the love triangle with rey


 No.9277

>>9269

>chewie obviously didn't mind having her around since she knew how to fly the ship and needed a co-pilot

But that is just the thing – Chewie SHOULD mind. That they just had him up and up accept it was pure crap. She should have been the Co-pilot at best.

A. Why was she tasked with handing Luke the Light Saber.

B. Why should the Light Saber even matter? Darth Vader himself said that the green Light Saber Luke created himself was superior to the blue one.

C. Even if she was tasked with handing him the Light Saber – why would this make her the captain/pilot? At most then she would have been a passenger or cargo.

D. So not only did they have her fill the role of Han Solo, they had her fill the role of Luke, Obi Wan and Chewie/R2D2 (since she was the mechanic as well)

The hell are they giving her every single roll?

I could somewhat accept that she might be able to be an okay mechanic since she has been taking tech apart her whole life… but why would they make her a superb pilot, an excellent shot – a super Jedi ninja without any training oh and the destined whatever she is supposed to be. She is a shitty Mary Sue. That's what she is.


 No.9305

That fucking soccer droid was the worst of it all.


 No.9306

File: 1450564206996.jpg (89.12 KB, 436x414, 218:207, latest.jpg)

>>9260

That was pure bullshit. Chewie is nothing more than a pet/slave by this point.

>>9265

Not anymore at least. Thanks a lot Disney…


 No.9310

>>9105

>>9106

>1

What the fuck are you talking about

>3

yes because she's never used a melee weapon before

>4

The planet is imploding you moron

>5

He got one hit on him, your fucking memory sucks

>9

What fucking part of "The Force" do you not understand? There's no such thing as coincidence in Star Wars

>10

Before this it was "ermahgerd a nigger!" Now you're mad because he was a dope through the entire movie?

>11

Because Episodes 4-6 never jumped back and forth…

>12

I don't know where everyone is getting this shit. She delivered one fucking line about the Force. Luke is the Yoda in the movie.

>13

It's called fucking time constraints. Fucking use your imagination.

>15

The movie was so fucking Han-centric it's hilarious you're trying to push this shit

>18

Because it's her fucking journey and she's force-sensitive.

>20

You fucking autistic newfag The Force has always worked like that. Fucking rewatch the saga again

>21

>20 seconds to travel

HOLY FUCKING SHIT YOU ARE THIS STUPID!

>22

Yeah I'll give you that one


 No.9318

>>9310

Also…

>19

Yes, Vader said it was better, but take yourself out of the viewer's seat. NOBODY remembers this being said. They weren't there for that. It's not even about the lightsaber's quality, it's about the hands it was in.


 No.9319

>>9118

calling it now

snoke is gonna be a tiny manlet in person


 No.9351

File: 1450589180621.gif (2.97 MB, 480x270, 16:9, lando.gif)

http://boards.theforce.net/threads/pt-forum-tfa-discussing-the-film-characters-plotlines-spoilers-allowed.50035228/page-25#post-52978693

> After the initial murder-action, we are treated to a long set of cricket-chirping scenes, where we are fascinated by Rey doing such interesting things like digging through garbage, drinking water, cleaning garbage, selling garbage for food, being ripped off while selling said garbage, cooking food, eating food.

> Kylo takes her to his torture chamber, then pulls his mask off. And I honestly almost laughed out loud in the cinema. Adam Driver has the most stupid and punchable face in cinema, and all thoughts of scary villain disappeared at that moment. He has a little battle of wits and is unable to get info out of her because she is Force sensitive. After which he sulks off in a huff, presumably to the nearest Starbucks to write a moody piece on his tumblr about why his parents suck while listening to some crappy inde band on his portable vinyl player.

> In the meantime, Rey suddenly has the ability to use the Force to make her guard set her free, even though she has no training AND has no idea that such a thing is possible (unless, of course, she watched A New Hope).

> Rey and Finn decide to (stupidly) go after Kylo on their own. Finn, a non-Force sensitive with no dueling training manages to hold his own against the incredibly powerful and highly trained Kylo and even wounds him, because fuck making sense that’s why. He eventually loses, so Rey jumps in and starts doing the same thing. Suddenly Rey has a bunch of Force powers she never trained for and kicks Kylo’s ass in one of the shitiest and stupidest scenes ever, finally proving once and for all that Abrams does not have a fucking clue about Star Wars, and even less about the Force. This may be the most intelligence insulting things in this entire movie, as we watch the previously powerful Kylo get his ass handed to him by an untrained nobody, all because Abrams doesn’t know jack.

This review is precious


 No.9365

Did anyone else notice that BB-8 was called him/he a few times?

I thought BB-8 was supposed to be a strong independent black woman robot.


 No.9384

>>9247

>could you imagine how shit it would be if Rawraghhh was in charge of the ship?

What would change if he were, really? I don't think we'd have to necessarily sit through anymore annoying shriwook [sic?] if he were the captain. Just change up the script to reflect the fact that Rey isn't in charge of it.

>>9277

A.) Presumably so that she could have Luke train her. It's an excuse to get her in front of him alone sans Chewbacca.

B.) Remember those flashbacks and that deal with Maz? Looks like the Force can leave a mark on stuff that can be "scryed" like magic in fantasy books. It's not exactly untread turf, either, since I've seen it in EU sources.

C.) I agree. It's not even the kind of thing for me that percolates in afterthought. It's jumping right out at me that her getting the ship is weird.

D.) Muh stronk, empowered females.

>>9319

Oh fuck. I was joking with a friend that it would be hilarious if it turned out the villain was basically an evil Yoda. I should have known better than to trifle with meme magic.


 No.9428

>>9277

>>9384

>D

>implying Luke wasn't a great mechanic too

That shit runs in the family. Stop being fags.

>implying they have her fit the role of Han

jesus christ you people have shit opinions.


 No.9434

>>9428

Oh of course, as does expert marksmanship. The ability to immediately be able to fly the falcon like a pro. Being a total savant with the force, immediately turning around kylo's mind invasion. Focusing for a moment and becoming proficient with a single bladed lightsaber. Naturally just "knowing" how to do the jedi mind trick. etc etc etc.

It's not one or two things, it's that they ALL added up.

But let me guess the answer to all these will be

>A: The force

>B: The force

>C: The force

>D: The force

OR possibly

>E: All of the above, plus she's the chosen one of prophecy!

Allow me to offer an alternative explanation:

> She is a "mary sue" and a fanfic tier level of shit "mary sue" at that.


 No.9436

>>9319

The ultimate twist would be for him to actually be that large.


 No.9438

>>9436

Or larger. Snoke confirmed for Galactus. :^)


 No.9456

File: 1450674669220.jpg (89.81 KB, 1024x768, 4:3, 113.jpg)

>>9155

>Implying a Sheev clone army was one of the worst aspects of the EU


 No.9478

File: 1450695298808.jpg (72.63 KB, 360x562, 180:281, Kyle Katarn 2.2.JPG)

>>9110

>Takes over Han's mantle.

>Takes over Millennium Falcon.

>Drives the Millennium Falcon better than Han can.

>Take Chewie as her companion.

Is Rey going to become the Kyle Katarn of her series? Where she becomes an urban Jedi smuggler who dual wields a lightsaber and a blaster?


 No.9481

>>9478

don't you ever compare that mary sue of a strong woman who don't need no man to glorious kyle katarn ever again.


 No.9521

>>9478

is it bad i want the spic in rogue one to be kyle katarn?

like, i know there are multiple stories involving how the death star plans were obtained, but using katarn would just be the greatest thing ever.


 No.9574

>>9305

No, BB-8 (aside from Han Solo, Chewie and Rey's ass) was the only good thing about the movie. It was a cute joke character, but unlike Jarjar it wasn't in your face nor was it inserted into every single damn scene… and unlike "R2 Mary Sue D2", it wasn't made into some sort of a super hero nor was it a sarcastic piece of shit that always insulted C3P0.

>>9384

>A.) Presumably so that she could have Luke train her.

Yes, but that shit really should come later. Luke was the Jedi Knight they wanted to find and have them save them or something. Their first priority would be to have him join up with Leia and the rebels again. AFTER that they could have asked him if he could train some more people. Sending Rey was retarded since they are leaving it to her an unknown stranger, to convince Luke to join up with them.

>B.) Remember those flashbacks and that deal with Maz? Looks like the Force can leave a mark on stuff that can be "scryed" like magic in fantasy books.

Again, why would it matter? It is a LightSaber that is less good than one Luke made. Also, if they don't completely ignore the prequels – Anakin's lightsaber wasn't even all that special since he constantly broke them. There is even such a scene where Obi Wan calls him out on it. So again; why would Vader's old lightsaber even matter?

>>9436

>>9438

I agree, Snoke was a terrible name for a villain and his design reminded me too much of Harry Potter… but then when I saw his size I was thinking:

"hey, that's actually cool. A giant being able to use the force. I haven't seen that before and it would be a cool fight if he faced of against Luke."

And then I read that it was a hologram that he had projected. Disney – not understanding good ideas when they see them.


 No.9605

>>9185

>Look at the Avengers 2 for example. Black Widows had some flaws and feminists raged at Joss Whedon for it.

And that's why I liked MCU Black Widow. My characters need flaws and Scarlet Witch freaking the fuck out at the battle and then sucking it up to help her new friends and fight made me smile. I hate this Mary Sue shit and if OP is right about all of this then I'm glad that I posted a spoiler on my Kikebook, pissing off a bunch of people.




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