The Argent Acolyte 2. Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:26:43 69b6f1 No. 22743
Well hello there, I assume you thought hoped you’d seen the last of me but here I am.
The reason I disappeared without a trace was, as it often is, work. However I’ll be honest after about a month I had pretty much forgot about the whole /storytiem/ thing. But as I was cleaning up some of the folders from my work PC, I found the document I was using to write up my ideas in. Which also contained near about 5000 words I had never posted.
For one it felt like such as shame to not post that and second, now uni is finished for at least a couple of months I felt like I should definitely continue with the story. So thats what this is.
Here is a the rules, your stats as of the last thread and a handy summary of the plot so far:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1uQwZrPY-MQ-dQAqTlYy8fQLTECOb296Goa8TDggN_OE/edit?usp=sharing
Oh and as a fore warning to those who have not read the previous thread. You are a male. Most of the creatures have become advanced at bringing females to orgasm, due to the overwhelming female majority in your profession. Result, things end up going up your butt on rare common occasions. Sorry, if this is not your thing but the best I can suggest is not reading.
PS: This section might be a bit wordy. I wanted to flesh the characters and world out abit but let me know if you want a TLDR.
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:28:01 69b6f1 No. 22744
You stand outside a recently cleared out lair, the sun is low in the sky in front of you, casting long shadows across the hillside behind you and bathing everything in a warm red glow. With a deep breath you begin making your way down the hill and towards the road that will lead you back to your village. You can see a small hamlet nestled at the bottom of the hill and a smaller road leading out of it. Joining the road you begin the journey home, passing farmlands on either side.
After walking for a while you see a forest looming on the horizon, a small wooden fence separates it from the farmlands. While the forest looks relatively uninviting you can’t help but smile when you see a figure sitting on the fence, her legs swinging absent mindly. Her hair is a brilliant red and looks almost like fire itself in the red light of the evening sun. You only know one person with hair like that, Jenna, the healer that was dispatched to the town behind you.
Jenna is about the closest thing you’ve ever had to family, besides Valeria of course. You and Jenna practically grew up together and have been rivals since you were old enough to walk. You would always been challenging each other to races or hide and seek and as you grew older these challenges became spars and combat drills. She has been a constant in your life for as long as you can remember and the sight of her brings a smile to your face.
She still hasn’t spotted you yet, her legs still swinging below her as she stares into the distance, a bored look on her face. As you draw closer her attention snaps to you and a grin breaks out across her face.
“‘Bout time you got here Sarvus,” she calls out, amusement thick in her voice “I was starting to think I’d be an old lady before you finished clearing out that cave.”
“My my, is that concern I hear?” You respond your face the picture of smugness.
“For you? Unlikely.” She huffs, turning her head and regarding you sideways. There is a brief silence as neither you respond and you think you can spot a small blush on her cheeks but it's likely a trick of the red sun light.
“Anyway!” She says, jumping off the fence and standing in front of you “Lets get going. With any luck we should be back before night fall!” You smile again, nodding as you do so and together you both walk into the forest.
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:28:23 69b6f1 No. 22745
An hour later and you are deep in the forest and the sun is truly setting now, the world becoming increasingly dark as you progress through the woods undaunted. You were telling Jenna about some of the traps that you faced in the old gnome lair and she has been trying her best not to tease you, which for her you can only assume requires a huge amount of effort. Despite this a small grin is still tugging at her face.
“So did you get any interesting marks?” She asks her face the picture of feigned innocence. You feel blood rush to your face and you look away.
“That's none of your business,” you mutter before rounding on her, face still glowing red “What about you? Did you get rid of that one mark that makes you cum any time someone-.” You trail off as her eyes have focused on something further down the road, a look of growing tension on her face.
Looking down the road you see what she is looking at. Two figures are rapidly approaching you although they are still distant. As they draw closer you see what they're wearing. Hooded robes bearing the ‘Chosens’ sigel, a golden wing. These must be from the ‘Sisterhood’.
You don’t know much about the sisterhood, and what little you do know is from muttered whispers around the garrison. Apparently they are an elite group of the Angels Chosen that was formed after the male members died out. They are tasked with covert ops missions and in general, no one really seems to know anything about them. Or at least no one wants to tell you anything. Conversation about them always seems to stop whenever you draw near, so you have always assumed they were meant to be some sort of secret.
Either way a pair of these ‘Sisters’ is now making straight for you and they look like they are in a hurry. Looking at Jenna you see she has gone quite pale and looks very anxious. Looking closer you spot her hands trembling slightly.
“Jenna?” you call out quietly to her, an edge of worry creeping into your voice at the sight of her so visibly shaken.
Upon hearing your voice she snaps back into action her face morphing into a mask of grim determination as she does so.
“Sarvus,” she starts, a steel in her voice you’ve never heard before, “cover your Chosen mark. Quickly! And whatever you do stay quiet and just follow my lead.”
“What?” you manage, confused at the sudden request.
“Just do it!” She hisses before turning away from you to face the pair that has closed much of the distance and will soon be upon you.
Deciding to trust your friends judgement you quickly pull your sleeve down over the back of your hand, covering the mark you’ve had since birth that shows you to be one of the Chosen. As you do so the pair finally comes to a stop in front of you.
“Greetings,” Jenna calls out her tone formal and sounding slightly forced, “You both seemed in a hurry. Whats going on?”
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:28:46 69b6f1 No. 22746
The pair in front of you turn to face each other as if to confer. You don’t hear any words but a moment later they both nod and turn back to face you and Jenna.
“You,” the one of the right says raising a hand to gesture at Jenna “You are Chosen?” Her voice is fairly flat and cuts straight to point. You can’t see much of their faces below the hood but what little of their face you can see if devoid of emotion, the perfect poker face.
In response to the figures question Jenna nods, raising her hand to show her mark. She looks like she is about to say something but the one on the left cuts her off.
“And the boy?” The on the left asks, her tone similar to her partner.
You are about to speak when Jenna quickly pipes up.
“He’s just a boy from the village down the road, we met on the road and decided to travel together.”
There is a moment of tense silence as no one speaks. Finally it is broken when the Sister on the right begins to speak again. “A high ranking demon has passed through these woods recently, leaving a slew of corrupted beasts in the woods.”
“We’ve tracked it down to somewhere close by, we would like to request your help in finding the beast and killing it” The one on the left quickly picks up where her partner left of. Its almost eairy how they speak, like they were a single person not a pair.
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:29:58 69b6f1 No. 22747
Jenna turns to you, her face a mask of grim determination but you can still see concern in her eyes.
“Savrus, I want you to get back to village and tell Valeria exactly what's happened. I’m going with them but I know you can make it back alone. Just be careful and don’t leave the path.”
You about to argue but she quickly interrupts.
“I’ll be fine. Just…please. You need to go.” Her voice sounds pleading, almost desperate and you can’t help but nod.
“Good.” She says before turning back to the pair of hooded figures that are regarding you a small distance away, “Alright, lead the way.”
The pair nod and you are left in stunned silence as the trio departs the group quickly disappearing into the thick woods around you.
You stand alone in the middle of the forest path confused and feeling almost dazed. However a howl jerks you out of your stupor. It didn’t sound too close but you decide to take follow Jenna's instructions and continue to head back towards town.
As you walk a sense of growing uneasy begins to fill you and you start to walk a little faster. Occasionally you hears sounds from the wood around you, a small crack of wood or the rustle of something in the underbrush. All too soon you find yourself running down the road, determined to get the hell out of here.
With a growl something leaps from the woodland to your side and smashes into, causing you to stumble from the path. Looking up you see a pair of yellow eyes looking back at you. Yellow eyes and teeth. A wolf!
The creature is about a meter from you and is growling in its throat. As you get a chance to look at it you notice something you hadn't spotted before. Hanging below the wolf you see its bright red cock stood at full attention, tiwtching slightly as precum leaks from the tapered head.
This must be the demons doing! You quickly pull your sword from its scabbard and ready yourself to fight.
Do you:
A: Fight it! (Str)
B: Run away! (Agi)
C: Try and distract it or make yourself look too dangerous to fight! (Int)
Onyxdime 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:33:09 5f1fa8 No. 22748
Welcome back!
Voting for B. Live to fight another day!
AlphaWanker 05/20/15 (Wed) 21:44:52 3a8b4d No. 22749
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:02:54 69b6f1 No. 22750
File: 1432159374829.jpg (49.87 KB, 500x377, 500:377, d4daf9c17d33cc6f1a42e1ed9b….jpg )
>>22748
>>22749
Well okay, can you give me a 60+ Agi roll.
If I am reading this right it looks like you can add modifiers now which is cool. If that's the case, bear in mind your agi is currently 4 due to slime core, so you have a -5 to all agi rolls.
PS: Jenna looks something pretty close to this picture. Just so you guys can make your head movie a little clearer.
AlphaWanker 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:05:50 3a8b4d No. 22751
Rolled 21 (1d100)
>>22750
Agi roll
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:11:34 69b6f1 No. 22752
>>22751
I genuinely don't know if the modifer has been applied or not but either way, thats a fail.
—
You spin around and dart into the woods, hoping that you will be able to lose the wolf in the thick trees. It doesn’t work however as the wolf, clearly far more at home in the woody terrain than you catches you quickly.
It takes your legs out from under you by slamming against them, causing you to tumble to the side as you attempt to stabilize yourself. You land hard in the dirt and the wolf is quick to capitalize, jump at you and grabbing at the waistline of your pants with its teeth. You struggle away from the wolf trying to avoid its very sharp teeth but in doing you allow the wolf to claim your pants.
Quickly standing again you turn to face the wolf, watching as it drops your pants and slowly begins to advance again. You know it's not possible but it looks like the wolf is grinning.
Do you:
A: Rush it with your sword! (Str)
B: The pants were slowing me down! Now I can truly escape. (agi).
C: Try to fake out running and then either hit it your sword or reclaim your pants! (Int)
AlphaWanker 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:24:44 3a8b4d No. 22755
Solstice 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:28:42 c6a0ee No. 22756
>>22752
A! Go Rambo! Welcome back :3
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:30:57 69b6f1 No. 22757
>>22755
>>22756
Okay then, give me a 55+ Strength roll!
Solstice 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:44:27 c6a0ee No. 22759
Rolled 44 (1d100)
>>22757
Rolling strength!
I'm going to have to head off to bed now. I'm glad to see you back, hopefully more people will see your story tomorrow night <3
AlphaWanker 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:49:25 3a8b4d No. 22760
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>22757
Strength roll
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:49:59 69b6f1 No. 22761
>>22759
Unfortuantly that is a fail. Posting results in one moment.
'Night Solstice, good to see you again. I look forward to reading all of the work you've done while I as gone, which looks to be a lot.
>>22748
Also thanks Onxy for the welcome back. Just gotta say, 40K story, fucking glorious.
Nox 05/20/15 (Wed) 22:54:22 69b6f1 No. 22762
You charge the wolf, sword held high and ready to strike. Unfortunately the wolf is faster than you are and is able to dodge your downward swing by jump to the side. After landing the wolf is quick to counter, knocking you to the floor with its weight. This time it jumps at you before you are able to scramble you your feet, pinning you to the ground with its paws. As you struggle to dislodge the heavy beast above you barely register the sensation of the wolf's swollen cock press slightly against your ass. You are however, completely unable to ignore the wolf as it pushes several inches of dick inside your ass, howling in victory as it does so.
The rough penetration stuns your briefly and as such the wolf is able to begin humping against your back door with truly animal like ferocity. The slime core inside you begins to vibrate happily as it senses food nearby and warmth begins to spread outwards from your stomach. You feel shame run through you as your cock springs to life below you despite your best efforts to resist the effects. All too quickly the wolf has most of its length sawing in and out of you and you begin to feel something swelling at the bottom of its shaft. The beast is trying to knot with you! Thankfully for the moment you are still relatively composed. At least for someone with almost a foot of wolf dick in your arse.
Now I need to someone to roll to see if the creature can get the knot inside you. A flat 40 roll should do.
Thing is the knot is expanding. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. As you will also need to roll to remove it if it ever finds itself inside you.
The roll the insert or remove will get harder the large the knot is.
Obviously you can’t fight back with it inside you but with unless you roll really badly it's unlikely the wolf will make you cum as it is still for the most part a dumb animal. I will say this though, if that knot gets too big to remove while it's inside you, its cum is still plenty corrupt and you be on the receiving end of plenty of it. Won’t your slime core be happy?
AlphaWanker 05/20/15 (Wed) 23:25:50 27dd1e No. 22765
Rolled 91 (1d100)
Nice to have you back!
>>22762
knot roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:30:16 69b6f1 No. 22767
>>22765
Nicely done!
—
With a particularly violent jerk you are able to shrug the wolf of you, thankfully before it was able to gets its knot inside you. This seems to have little to deter the beast as its knot continues to swell with its corrupt cargo below it.
Jumping to your feet you prepare to once again face the beast.
Do you:
A: Try to attack with your sword again. (Str)
B: Attempt to parry the wolf attack with your own. (Agi)
C: Perform a feint, tricking to wolf into a more lethal attack. (Int)
Also here are your stats. Forgot to post them at the end of the last one. A little out of practise.
Status
Orgasm:026%
.
Stats:
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Enemy Status (Wolf): 2/2 HP
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:30:49 27dd1e No. 22768
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:31:49 69b6f1 No. 22769
As a side, あnyone else not been able to access 8chan for the last hour or so?
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:32:25 3a8b4d No. 22770
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:32:29 27dd1e No. 22771
>>22769
Yeah had the same issue
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 00:34:41 69b6f1 No. 22772
>>22768
>>22770
Right then lets see a 65+ Int Roll!
—
>>22771
Is this a common issue? It happen once while I was trying to post in the last thread too.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:05:17 27dd1e No. 22774
Rolled 51 (1d100)
>>22772
int roll
>Is this a common issue?
not really
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:15:26 69b6f1 No. 22777
>>22774
Thats a fail, and unluky timing on my behalf.
—
You attempt to trick the wolf by feinting a left swing but converting into a jab at the last moment. Once again the beast is too quick and jumps at you forcing you to topple over backwards. After a brief scuffle the beast is once again pinning you to ground and moments later, fucking you like a bitch in heat.
Your frustration in your inability to hit the beast takes a back seat as you feel the round swell of the creatures knot press against your ring. The beast stops thrusting for a moment in an attempt to force the knot into you.
Can someone roll a 60+ check to see if it manages to squeeze it in.
Also Status:
Orgasm:042%
.
Stats:
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Enemy Status (Wolf): 2/2 HP
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:19:44 27dd1e No. 22778
Rolled 18 (1d100)
>>22777
squeeze roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:21:37 69b6f1 No. 22779
>>22778
Nice, now could you roll me a 50+ strength roll to try and knock the wolf off you?
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:39:47 3a8b4d No. 22784
Rolled 22 (1d100)
>>22779
Strength roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:53:14 69b6f1 No. 22788
>>22784
You roll, forcing the wolf off you once again and as you do, you reach for your sword, hoping to attack the wolf while it was still recovering.
Your hands scrabble trying to find where you're sure you dropped it but by the time that your hands close around the hilt the wolf is almost back on its feet, it's knot reaching quite scary sizes now. It might be worth trying to stall for time and hoping the wolf might give up if its knot gets too big.
Do you:
A: Tackle the wolf, if you can pin it it should make finishing it easy. (Str)
B: Attempt a coupe de’ grace on the downed animal (Agi)
C: Gain some distance, see if you make the beast lose interest (Int)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 01:59:06 3a8b4d No. 22790
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 02:02:33 4af5f1 No. 22791
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 02:09:32 27dd1e No. 22792
>>22788
I'm surprise we got out after those two rolls :P
C
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 02:13:27 69b6f1 No. 22794
>>22790
>>22792
Okay, Lets do a int roll of 65+, then if you pass that well need a 45+ roll for the wolf to see if figures its not worth his time.
—
Yeah, I was contemplating leaving you stuck under the wolf but I felt that was limiting your options a little. Then again if people feel cheated I can always write a gallery scene for this.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 02:26:03 4af5f1 No. 22796
Rolled 77 (1d100)
>>22794
Int
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 03:02:04 69b6f1 No. 22799
Right, I gotta go to bed. I'll catch back up with the thread in the morning.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 11:55:40 69b6f1 No. 22819
>>22796
Well you passed that roll, anyone want to roll to see if the wolf buys your cunning ploy.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 12:53:52 0c7af1 No. 22821
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>22794
>>22819
Roll for the wolf
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 13:54:34 69b6f1 No. 22825
>>22796
>>22821
All is in order, nicely done.
—
You slowly draw away from the wolf, keeping your eyes on it at all times. It looks at you for a moment panting heavily, then with a defeated whine it presses its ears flat against its head and sits down. Clearly it's figured out that its own arousal has got the best of it and any further attempts to have its way with you aren’t going to work.
With the wolf ‘defeated’ you quickly collect your pants, muttering a quick claiming prayer as you do. Once again however you feel your balls ache for release, and you are unable to rid yourself of arousal completely.
Your attention is suddenly drawn when you hear another low growl. You look back at the place that you left the wolf and you can still see him sitting there although it looks like his ears have perked back up. With his mouth closed though it can’t be making that noise yet you can still hear the growl. Realising that you might have another threat you quickly don your pants as your eyes scan the forest for movement. Then you spot a pair of yellow eyes glaring at you from out of a dark part of the forest.
Then as if waiting for you to look, another pair of eyes appear, joined by another and then another, all the while a growing chorus of growls assaults your ears. Looks like you found the wolf’s pack. Deciding that you have no chance against such numerous foes you turn tail and run, attempting to lose the pack in the trees.
With a terrifying set of howls the wolves give chance, and you do your best to increase your speed even further. All around you are the sounds of the pack. Howls, barks and panting follow your every fleeing footfall and you have no doubt that it's only a matter of time before they catch you.
After a brief chase you decide to check over your shoulder to see how close they are and this leaves you unable to see whats infront of you. You stumble as your body suddenly encounters a resistance, and a sudden chill fills the lower half over your body. Looking down you seem to have stumbled into a small bayou.
The water around you is dark and murky and you worry that it will allow the pack to catch up. But looking behind you see the pack has stopped short at the edge of the water. Clearly unwilling to go any further. They remain on the bank and stare at you, hungrily.
You breathe a sigh of relief at having found an escape from the wolves and decided to take a moment to assess the situation. Clearly you can’t go back onto the bank so you’ll have to find another way round the pack to get back to your village.
Plotting the route you must have fled in your head you deduce that the village can’t be too far to the north west of where you are now and you mentally thank Valeria for forcing you to learn map reading as well as you have.
‘Well might as well get moving.’ You think to yourself as you begin to trudge through the water. As you do so you notice one of the wolves bark and gesture away with their head. As they the rest of the wolves run off, back into the forest. The wolf that you assume to be the alpha regards you for a moment before running off to join its pack.
As you continue you decide to keep to the water as you don’t want another run in with the wolves again. You do wonder why they didn’t come into the water though.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 13:57:39 69b6f1 No. 22826
>>22825
Woops, forgot to add my name.
—
A short while later to start as you think you feel something brush up against your leg, but the sensation disappears almost instantly. Looking around you can see a slight disturbance in the water moving rapidly away from you.
“Must have been a fish”, you say to yourself as you shrug and keep moving.
Several minutes later you feel something else brush up against you and just like before the sensation disappears. However unlike last time you feel the same sensation again your other leg, then again on your right. Then all of a sudden you are assaulted by what feels like mouths everywhere that is underwater. The water around begins to turn white as whatever is attacking you goes into a frenzy.
You gasp and flail as every piece of your skin is sucked and licked by these tiny mouths and it is only after you raise your hand out of the water that you see what's attacking you. On your hand and arm you see several small worm like creatures with small suckers at the end that they are using to create the sucking sensation. As one detaches and falls back into the water you spot what looks like a long thin tongue inside its mouth.
‘Are these leeches!?’ You think to yourself, ‘If they’ve been changed this much the demon that is causing this must have passed through here, And recently too!’.
As you consider this the leeches around you remind you of more pressing matters as several locate your swelling cock. They latch onto the head and begin to suck, licking at the underside as they do so. The effect is immediate at your legs loose strength briefly as you forget to stand. luckily you are able to catch yourself before you slip into the water fully.
As you stand again your eyes scan around the area looking for the nearest bank. With this many foes that are hidden underwater there is no way you can fight, you need to get out of the water! It looks like the nearest bank is about 15 meters away. You quickly begin to wade towards it, however the leeches continue their assault.
Status:
Orgasm:029%
Stats:
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10 (-1 due to rewiring)
.
I’m trying something new (for me) here so lets see how this goes. I want you to roll and agi roll, but with a catch. Whatever the first number of the roll is, that's how many meters you move. Eg: a 56 moves you 5. Best move quickly, these leeches are working quickly.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 14:20:10 69b6f1 No. 22827
>>22826
Also if you could do me a solid and pretend that I didn't mangle a great number of sentences and words in this that'd be great. In my defense though it was like 4am when I wrote this so, its not my best work.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 15:50:09 27dd1e No. 22832
Rolled 35 (1d100)
>>22826
agi roll
>>22827
What? I see nothing… :D
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 16:04:30 69b6f1 No. 22836
>>22832
Thats the spirit!
—
Setting your sights on the far bank you begin the process of wading through the murky water. Initially it's fairly easy to move through the water but the leeches seem to bunch and push against you, apparently against allowing you to leave their domain. This combined with the fact that ground you are walking on is hidden beneath the water and is particularly uneven means you only make about 3 meters of progress.
The leeches are not only trying to slow you down, clearly their hunger for blood has been replaced by something else and they seem more than eager to get it. What feels like hundreds of tiny mouths lick and suck on your lower body, all vying for a piece of the action. They seems to have more or less figured out your weak spot and are focusing a large amount of attention on your dick. Something that feels close to 30 tiny women giving you head would be distracting at the best of times but whatever drugs you received in the gnomish lare makes it very hard to think of anything else but how good this feels. You have to stay focused on keeping moving or you might never make it out!
Status:
Orgasm:052%
Stats:
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10 (-1 due to rewiring)
You are still 12 meters from dry land! Give it another roll to see if you can make any more progress!
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 16:30:34 27dd1e No. 22837
Rolled 39 (1d100)
>>22836
progress roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 16:58:25 69b6f1 No. 22840
>>22837
Once again, you push forward, or rather you attempt to. The leeches are now beginning to form a wall of constantly moving, hungry mouths and any attempt to move around or through is met with strong resistance and equal amounts of pleasure. Still you manage another 3 meters and if you really pushed yourself you think you could still escape this.
You begin to feel less certain about this as leeches begin to up the ante. After a particularly nasty misstep caused you to drop lower in the water, several enterprising leeches have manage to latch onto your upper body, in particular your nipples which are now under a constant tongue lashing. Worse still, leeches are beginning to find their way to the back of pants and have begun to tentatively rim you, exploring new avenues of attack. The assault on all fronts is enough to make your head spin and your breathe has become ragged, far more than the stain of moving forward would merit.
You still have a whole 9 meters to go! Its gonna have to be a really solid roll to keep savrus from a succumbing to these leeches, so good luck!
Once again if we could have 1 more progress roll to decide the outcome of this encounter.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:09:35 69b6f1 No. 22841
>>22840
Oops status:
Status:
Orgasm:083%
Stats:
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10 (-1 due to rewiring)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:15:43 9cb6d9 No. 22843
Rolled 31 (1d100)
Processed, I mean progress
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:40:47 69b6f1 No. 22845
>>22843
You push hard against the wall of leeches in front you but all it feels like you are doing is opening yourself up more to their attacks. You manage to make it another 2 meters before the pleasure wins out.
Sagging lower into the water with a pleasured moan you are surprised to feel the leeches form a relatively soft, albeit squirming, cushion under you, stopping you slipping too deep. Clearly they don’t want you to drown. That seems to be the only consolation they are willing to give you as they maintain their brutal assault on you from all sides, lapping at anything they can get their mouths on.
With you now deeper in the water, far more of your body is exposed to the lapping tongues and sucking mouths. They leave nothing unattended; from the leeches suckling tenderly at your neck to the few leeches that lap ticklishly at the soles of your feet. The pleasure seems to be coming from everywhere at once and all you can do in response is moan with mouth hanging open in pleasure haze.
Seemingly able to sense your inpending orgasrm the leeches that are attached to your cock begin to truly work themselves into a frenzy. The quick kisses and long moments of delicious sucking all blend together into a mind numbing wave of bliss that drives you close to your edge. And after what seems like hours, you do finally cum, jets of ejaculate clouding the water around your cock.
The response from the leeches is instantaneous, as they all stop whatever they whatever they were doing in an attempt to get at the cum. Like starving piranhas attacking a slab of meat, they jostle for position in a frenzy, making the water go white with their efforts.
The feeding frenzy has also called the leeches that were supporting you away, causing your head to dunk under the water. This breaks you from your stupor and you thrash in attempt to clear your head from the murky water.
Breaking the surface with a gasp you and look down at the water blow you. The water is white with the frenzied action but the leeches seem to have begun releasing a viscous black fluid. They also seem to have forgotten about you, which suggests to you that it might be a good time to leave. The leeches pay you no heed, clearly more focused on fighting for their reward but as you wade away you notice the black fluid has stuck to you and as far as you can tell seems to be covering everything on you.
You stumble on to dry land, breathing heavily as you collapse on the bank. As you lie there catching your breath you notice the black fluid begin to slide off you, as if it had a mind of its own. As it does you spot something in the fluid that makes your blood run cold. Quickly pulling up your pant leg confirms your suspicion and you groan as you realize what's happened.
All of the hair on your lower body is gone! No one could perceive you as a threat if they saw you like this! -20 to any roll when you try to intimidate someone!
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:45:00 69b6f1 No. 22846
After dragging yourself a little further inland you look upwards toward the trees all around you. The sky above them is dark and most of the canopy is covered in darkness. You briefly wonder how Jenna is doing. Those sisters seemed competent and you know Jenna is no push over herself, in fact she often beats you in the spars. Still, the amount of corruption this demon is causing is no joke and speaking of which, it must be pretty close to where you are now if the presence in the air is any indication.
After banishing most of your arousal you close your eyes and breathe deeply, opening your senses up to see if you can detect from where the corruption is coming. After scanning the area briefly you discover that the demon isn’t far to the north of you. What's shocking however is if you are correctly sensing the path it is taking, its heading straight for your village!
You stand quickly and think things over for a moment. Jenna told you to go straight back to the village, clearly she was worried about you facing the demon…right?
You shake your head, no time worry about that, the demon is making a beeline for your home and there is no way you can just sit here and let it attack. Your honor as a guardian won’t allow it.
‘Besides,’ you think to yourself with a grin, ‘ I AM heading straight back to the village, not my fault the demon is in the way!’ After deciding on your plan of action, you sprint off towards where you sense the demon's presence.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:49:28 69b6f1 No. 22847
As you dash through the woods you begin to recognize the area more and more. Even in the dark you are fairly certain that you are very close to the woods edge and you have yet to encounter the demon. You know that after leaving the woods it is only a short walk through farmland before you reach the village. With this in mind you do you best to increase your already rapid pace.
Moments later you break free of the woods and the sight of the villages farmland flooded with moonlight greet you. In the distance you can just about make out the lights of the village but this is not what draws your attention.
About 100 meters in front of lies something that makes your blood run cold.
Physically, it looks like a young girl, a child even. The fact that she is wearing what could only be described as fetishware would perhaps surprise you more if you could not sense corruption the way that the Chosen can.
When focusing your mind on using the ‘sight’, you see dark energy billowing of the girl in waves. It thickens the area around her and reaches far enough skywards that even the moon seems to darken above her. You have faced vehicles of corruption before, but what you are looking at is no mere carrier, this is corruption itself. It doesn’t seem to have noticed and continues to walk lazily toward your village.
The thought of your village is enough to snap you out of your dazed stupor. If that thing gets anyway near the village the people are done for. It would take the whole garrison to take her down but recent conflicts have drawn large numbers of Chosen away from the village. You have to delay it somehow, give the remaining Chosen enough time to figure out what's happening and evacuate the town. They should be able to sense the demon or at least *gulp* they will if it starts attacking you.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:50:57 69b6f1 No. 22848
With your ‘plan’ in mind you step forward and prepare to challenge the monster in front of you.
“HEY!” you shout, your loud voice carries across the field and causing the demon to stop in her tracks.
She turns to face you with a look of what you would describe as surprise on her face. Clearly she did not expect someone as strong as yourself to- “Oh! A farmer!” She exclaims, a smile breaking across her face.
What ever you were going to say next dies in your throat and you can only make an unintelligible grunt in your confusion. Of all the things you would have expected such an evil thing to do, that was not high on the list. Also is she skipping? Yep. This demon possessing power you have never seen before has just skipped up to stand in front of you with the cheesiest grin on her face.
“Whats your name farmer boy?” She asks, her tone straying a little too close to flirty for comfort.
“Sarvus….” you manage before remembering the situation. “And I’m not a farmer!” You exclaim. Surely she can tell you are a guardian, I mean you have a sword and your armour looks cool and-
“If you're not a farmer what you doing in a field?” She asks tilting her head to the side, her smile replaced by a look of confusion.
“What kind of farmer works this late!?” You respond, thoroughly carried away by how dense this girl. “And besides, farmers don’t carry swords or wear armour!”
After this outburst the demon puts a hand to its face and adopts a classic thinking pose before understanding and awe break out across her face in equal measure.
“Wow!” She cries, “You are smart! You’ll make a great mind slave.”
You find yourself nodding, she’s right, you are smart and you would make a great- wait did she say mind slave?
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:53:55 69b6f1 No. 22849
Looking up just in time, you see the demon raise her hand toward you and cloud of darkness rushes towards you. You feel a sensation of hot, putrid air rush past you and hear the sound of howling wind in your ears. Fearing the worst, you squeeze your eyes shut and prepare for the worst. However several moments pass and you don’t feel any different. Cautiously you open your eyes and see the demon staring at you, looking about as confused as you feel.
After several tense moments pass the demon quickly moves to grab your hand. The reaction being unexpected gives her enough time to turn over your hand and see your Chosen mark.
‘Ah ha!’ you think to yourself. ‘Now she knows her magic will have no effect on me! Surely now she will be truly afraid, she must be quaking in her-’
“Yay!” She crows, jumping away from you to spin and dance in a thoroughly unafraid manner. “We found you! Found you, found you, found you…” She sings as she dances, seemingly uncaring of your presence.
As suddenly as she started she suddenly stops, mid dance move, one of feet still hangin in the air. “I’ve gotta let Quennie know.” She breathes, “She’ll be so happy!” With ADHD levels of attention she again begins to move around happily, giggling to herself. Its only once you cough into your hand that she notices you again, her smile wilting as she does so. “I guess that means I gotta leave,” she moans but perks up again a moment later. “Don’t worry I’ll leave you something to play with!”
You're about to suggest that you would rather she didn’t but the demon acts too quickly. Reaching into the cup of her bra she pulls out what look like a collection of seeds. With this done she blows on them, causing a large amount of corruption to seep into the seeds, making them glow and pulse.
After doing this she turns to you. “These things are great to play with, if you're really lucky they will fill you up with seeds and you can play again later! Anyway I have to go but I’ll try and get permission to come play with you some more later. Bye!”
Piece said, she throws the handful of seeds at you and you jump backwards in surprise allowing the seeds to land on the ground. As they do so you can only watch as they quickly sink into the ground as if they weighed far more than they should do.
Looking up you see that the demon has gone but this is the least of your concerns as from the place the seeds fell a huge green vine bursts from the ground followed by another 2. Each vine tapers down to a narrow head and at the end of each is a small circular opening that is constantly leaking a viscous looking fluid.
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 17:58:24 69b6f1 No. 22850
You are now facing 3 vines, that stand around 2 meters tall. They are quite thick around the base but narrow down to around the diameter of your arm at the head.
Currently they are swaying in the air seemingly without purpose but one by one they still, their heads tilting in your direction. Clearly they know you are there.
Do you:
A: Preemptive assault, attempt to hack one of the vines down (Str)
B: They look stationary, should be no problem to run around them to the village to get help…right? (agi)
C: Try and discern the species of plant or any weakness they may have. On a success this will make all rolls for this encounter easier. (Int)
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 18:01:20 69b6f1 No. 22851
>>22850
Also new stats!
Stats:
Orgasm:010%
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Equipment:
Robes
Light Pants
Boots
Staff +1 Int
Current: Debuffs/Perks
Slime core. -1 agi, will secrete aphrodisiacs if it detects a 'food source'
Hyperactive balls. You are constanly horney and start at 10% arousal.
Brain rewiring. -1 to all int rolls when your pick is being played with.
Hair loss. You look so girly that any intimidation rolls are 20% harder.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 18:05:45 3a8b4d No. 22852
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 18:28:34 0c7af1 No. 22853
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 18:51:32 69b6f1 No. 22854
>>22852
>>22853
Okay then give me a 60+ Int roll
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 18:52:43 3a8b4d No. 22855
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>22854
Int roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 19:00:28 69b6f1 No. 22856
>>22855
Oh, an epic win, shiny.
—-
Looking closely you are certain you recognise the plant species. Its one that's quite common in the woods around here in fact. It also clues you on the fact that they are quite strong at resisting strong constant pressure but are vulnerable to quicker more aggressive movements. Must be plant thing.
With this new knowledge in mind you smirk, now more confident in your ability to face this threat.
Due to epic win here, all the rolls will now be 10% easier!
Now the plant as not been idle while you have been examining it, roll me a 35+ Agi roll to dodge its attempt at a grapple.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 19:04:46 3a8b4d No. 22857
Rolled 93 (1d100)
>>22856
Agi roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 19:58:59 69b6f1 No. 22859
>>22857
Nicely rolled, sorry for the wait, I went to go grab some food.
—
You are paying enough attention to vines that you are easily able to see the signs of the incoming attack. As such you gracefully slide step the downward strike that comes from the center vine, leaving to crash harmlessly against the dirt as it does so.
Before it can recover from its attack you quickly slash the tentacle with your sword, carving it cleanly in two. The vine writhes on the ground as in pain, eggs spilling from the slash you made as it does so. With a flick of your wrist you remove any eggs and fluid from your sword, your grin still firmly in place as you prepare to face the 2 remaining vines.
Stats:
Orgasm:010%
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Enemy Status: 2/3HP
What do you do now? Do you:
A: Go on the offensive, attack the vines with your sword. (Str)
B: Attempt to counter any other attacks from the vines (Agi)
C: Puff yourself up and make yourself look threatening, even plants have self preservation instincts and you are clearly not to be trifled with. (Int)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:01:52 27dd1e No. 22860
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:03:25 c416d7 No. 22861
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:05:39 3a8b4d No. 22862
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:07:13 0c7af1 No. 22863
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:15:28 69b6f1 No. 22864
>>22860
>>22861
>>22862
>>22863
Right then I guess that settles it, can we have a 45+ Str roll?
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:22:01 3a8b4d No. 22865
Rolled 27 (1d100)
>>22864
Strength roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:46:10 69b6f1 No. 22866
>>22865
Not quite the roll you were looking for but not a bad effort.
—-
You charge forward recklessly, brandishing your sword in an attempt to bring the creature one step close to its well deserved death. However it would appear that you are somewhat underestimating the creature as it quickly manages to snag a hold of your ankle and lift you into the air. You flail helpless as you hang upside down, attempting to hack at the limb holding you. It’s no good and soon the vine has your hands restrained in another tight loop.
After making sure you are properly secured the last vine raises its head toward you as if to examine you. It runs over your body, slipping beneath your clothes whenever it can and the sensation of the cool vine on your newly hairless body sends shivers down your spine.
After reaching your pants, it slips inside, finding your slowly hardening prick. It coils around it experimentally, contracting and releasing as it does so. Moments later you whole cock is wrapped up in its viney embrace and it begins slowly pumping its coils up and down your prick in a similar manner to a handjob. As much as you hate to admit it, it does feel good and you begin to feel your heart rate speed up.
The head of the tentacle keeps exploring however and moments later it finds the tight ring of your ass causing your breath to catch in your throat. At first it doesn’t seem to know what to do with this new information and it pokes and probes against the opening gently leaving traces of the slick substance all over your hole. Moments pass and the head retracts, bringing itself back up to eye level with you, it does however leave your dick in its coils.
Confused you stare at the head of the vine as it waves in front you. More of the viscous substance seems to be leaking from the head now but that's not what draws your attention. Slowly you see a clear tube emerge from the opening. The material looks more flexible than the rest of the vine and it seems to be covered in the fluid you saw leaking from the hole.
As you stare as this tube you notice a small orb, about 1cm across, come through the opening at the head of the vine. As its traveling up the tube you realize its one of the seeds you saw spill from the first one you killed. After a moment passes the seed falls from the top of the tube and drops to the ground. This seems to be a signal as the vine begins moving its head back toward your ass.
OH HELL NO! You think to yourself. No way are you gonna get filled with seeds, you saw how many there were in the other vine.
How do you counter attack, do you:
A:Thrash around in your bonds try to cause as much damage as you can with your sword in the process (Str)
B: Try to gain enough wiggle room to slash at the vines more freely and precisely (agi)
C: Attempt to play dead. The vines might have no intrest in you that way. (Int)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:52:07 27dd1e No. 22867
>>22866
B (I so want to vote C, hope we gonna get a gallery if we win)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:54:39 3a3b12 No. 22868
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:58:16 3a8b4d No. 22869
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 20:58:26 0c7af1 No. 22870
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:04:36 69b6f1 No. 22871
>>22868
>>22869
>>22870
Okay then 50+ Str roll!
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:06:19 3a3b12 No. 22872
Rolled 64 (1d100)
>>22871
strength
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:12:56 69b6f1 No. 22873
>>22867
I'll definitely do one for the either the vines or the wolf, depending on which people would prefer. So you guys can vote on this if you’d like.
Then if I have some free time I'll do the other but we are hitting the end of the stuff I had pre written so things might slow down a bit for now as I need to start writing for the story again.
—
>>22872
Nicely done sir.
—
You thrash rapidly in your bonds, remembering the inherent weakness of the plant. As such it's fairly easy to break free enough that you are able to attack the vine that is holding you. It quickly drops you and you manage to flip in mid air and land on your feet.
You look up just in time to see it trying to slip back into the ground, give me 35 + Agi roll to see if you can kill it.
Oh btw, status: (God I need to remember to add this better)
Stats:
Orgasm:031%
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Enemy Status: 2/3HP
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:17:53 0c7af1 No. 22874
Rolled 14 (1d100)
>>22873
The finisher
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:27:28 69b6f1 No. 22875
>>22874
With rolls such as this, perhaps it is /you/ whom is finished *evil laughter*
—
You dart forward, attempting to slash at the retreating vine but as you do so, you trip and end up landing face first in the dirt. As you lay there you notice a distinct absence of sword in your hand and you are about to look for it when you feel the remaining vine latch onto your ankle again.
Do you:
A: Focus on shaking of the vine around your food. (Str)
B: Attempt to free yourself while searching blindly for your sword (agi)
C: Find the sword, you can deal with the vines when you have it! (int)
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:28:12 3a8b4d No. 22876
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:31:51 3a3b12 No. 22877
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:37:47 27dd1e No. 22878
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:49:06 69b6f1 No. 22879
>>22876
>>22877
Right, can you roll me a 35+ save to see if you can find your sword before you are dragged away.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:52:07 0c7af1 No. 22881
Rolled 85 (1d100)
Time to redeem myself. Save!
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 21:59:54 69b6f1 No. 22882
>>22881
I'd say you've done gone work.
—
Looking up, you quickly spot your sword and grab it before you are dragged away. As you are you catch a quick glance down the hole the vine fled down. It’s still there! Looks like they can only go as deep as their seeds are. That should make finishing the last vine much easier. Assuming you can deal with this other one fast enough. In the mean time the last vine standing is preparing to tie you up again but you have no intentions of letting it.
Can we have an 65+ Agi to roll to see if you can slash at the creature before it ties you up.
If you fail that one, I’m gonna need a 50+ Str roll to stop yourself from becoming immobilized.
Stats:
Orgasm:031%
Srt: 5/10
Agi: 4/10
Int: 6/10
Enemy Status: 1/3HP
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:03:30 3a8b4d No. 22884
Rolled 72 (1d100)
>>22882
Agi roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:10:23 69b6f1 No. 22885
>>22884
As the vine begins to lift you upwards you are able to twist your body fast enough that you are able to slash at the offending appendage. With the angle it's hard to put much weight behind it but you manage to do enough damage that the vine is stunned long enough to get a second stab in to finish it before it recovers.
Standing and breathing heavily you look to the hole that the last vine retreated into. You’re pretty sure it's dead, but you did catch a glimpse of it before. As such you are more on guard when you approach than you would normally be.
Roll me a 35+ Int roll to make sure you are paying enough attention catch a potential surprise attack before it happens.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:17:06 0c7af1 No. 22886
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>22885
100 int roll
Nox 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:34:07 69b6f1 No. 22888
>>22886
Well done guys, you brought you brought us home alive and relatively unmolested.
—-
As you approach the hole in the ground the wounded vine makes one last grab at you. Bursting from its hole, it attempts to wrap around your neck, probably to to try and pin you to the ground. Unfortunately for it, it's almost child's play to see this attack coming and you are quick to slice the creature down as it attempts to do this.
Looking around you can see the severed parts of the vines as well as the seeds that are still slowly seeping from the places you cut. Looking at the sheer number of seeds makes you glad you won. The sheer weight of them would have probably immobilized you and you shudder at the thought.
Shaking any residue from your sword you think back to the demon. She seemed to know who you were, which is…disturbing. Whats worse is that she said she was looking for you. Whatever the case may be you need head back to town and report to Valeria. Hopefully she might have some answers for you. With any luck Jenna should be getting back soon too, at least assuming they realise they missed the demon.
With this in mind you begin climbing the hill back towards the town.
——
Okay guys, thats all of the stuff I had pre written so from here on out the pace may slow down a bit so I’m sorry if that's the case. That said, I do still owe you guys one gallery scene so you guys can vote for which of the two you’d rather see (Wolf or Vines). Heck you might even get both if I have time but this way I know which you guys want more.
Finally, any feedback is always welcome and I do my best to try and improve on the points you guys make. So yeah, I’ll check back in a bit to see which gallery scene you want and should have that out in a bit.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:44:40 e77178 No. 22892
Like the story OP! The only piece of feedback I have to offer is that you might want to consider leaving more player choices. Every choice we made so far was directly related to combat, and while that's fine, it does make the story seem a bit linear (though I'm fairly sure it's just because you had stuff pre-written).
Again though, love your writing! I vote for the vines.
AlphaWanker 05/21/15 (Thu) 22:54:13 27dd1e No. 22897
>>22888
Vines gallery please! Even if you slow down in the future update, I very happy this story is not dead.
AlphaWanker 05/22/15 (Fri) 09:41:44 d5e378 No. 22924
Nox 05/22/15 (Fri) 22:01:05 69b6f1 No. 22975
>>22866
Continuing from where here left off….
—-
Despite your best efforts you are unable to shake the vines off you or do any real damage.
You suddenly still in your bonds, your blood running cold as you feel the flexible ovipositor slide into your ass. Any resistance you would have attempted to put up is pointless as the ovipositor simply narrows itself to the point that with the aid of its covering of natural lube it slips past your defences with no problem.
Once it is inside you initially don’t feel anything but after several moments pass you feel something press against your ring. The first of doubtlessly many seeds. You try to deny it entry by squeezing down but the ovipositor seems to rebuff your efforts, holding you open enough for the seed to slip inside.
After a couple of seconds you feel the process repeated and once again you are unable to stop the seeds progress. From then on its hard to tell the seeds apart as they begin to arrive more frequently. What you are unable to ignore is the sensation of the seeds sliding over your prostate as they move inside you. Each one, sends a spark to your brain and after a the first couple of seeds you are unable to stop your limbs from getting shaky with the pleasure.
Thankfully the slime core seems to be ignoring this intrusion, perhaps because it doesn’t want the competition. Either way you are thankful because beads of precum are already leaking from your cock from the pressure that is growing on your prostate, you don’t need aphrodisiacs to make this harder.
You try and move any of your limbs in order to try and stop the vines doing as they will but your bonds are too strong and you can only struggle in weakly as seed after seed slips inside you. Each seed that rolls over your prostate makes it harder to think and it you have to fight the urge to buck your hips into the vine that is lazily jacking you off.
After a while you start to notice a distinct bulge forming in your stomach and a small part of your brain wonders why you aren’t in pain. This small part of your brain summaries that whatever liquid is coating the ovipositor is also allowing your insides to stretch without pain and just after it finish this idea joins the rest of your brain in its imminent meltdown.
Its too much, each seed is now a thunder clap of pleasure and you feel deliciously full. Looking upwards you can’t even see past your seed filled belly which looks like something you would see on a pregnant woman. Its too this final thought that you finally give in, seed spraying into the loose coil of vines around your cock as scream of pleasure tears its way out of you from the terrifyingly pleasureable sensation of being filled.
As you hang in the coils of the vine breathing heavily you feel the ovipositor slide out of your ass and you sigh in relief. You feel so full and every movement sends shivers down your spine as the seeds move around inside you. A brief flash of worry about what will happen when the seeds start to grow runs through your mind but this is almost immediately overshadowed as you see the second vine reveal its ovipositor. You can only giggle nervously as it moves into position above your already full ass…
Nox 05/22/15 (Fri) 22:04:16 69b6f1 No. 22977
>>22892
Yeah, I thought this too as I was posting, I hope you didn't mind too much. From here on out things should open up a bit but feel free to shout at me if there is still not enough choice.
—
>>22897
Thanks, glad you're enjoying it!
Powerguido 05/26/15 (Tue) 02:44:28 b80bef No. 23316
>>22977
Good work so far, Nox! I'd like to humbly make some suggestions, though:
First and foremost: Please, PLEASE do some reviewing before posting each piece of text. Grammar and spelling mistakes on your posts feel like patches of sandpaper on silk sheets.
Secondly, try to expand a bit on intelligence choices, since there's a lot of unused potential there. For example, choices that award some kind of information during battle could "unlock" new, more efficient choices, instead of merely adding a bonus to rolls.
Finally, where did that sword come from? I thought our weapon of choice was a staff…
Your story has a lot of potential, please keep at it!
Nox 05/26/15 (Tue) 15:25:58 69b6f1 No. 23337
>>23316
>do some reviewing
Yeah, this is my biggest thing as well. Even if I do re-read my stuff I often skip over mistakes as I know what I meant. What I might do is see if I can find someone to proof read some of my stuff. This could be particularly useful as I’m mostly finished with the next bit of story but I’m not sure if the stuff I have written is a good idea or just plain stupid. So it might be nice to have some feedback on this before I post.
>expand a bit on intelligence choices
This is really what I wanted to do but sometimes its hard to think up of choice for each attribute. Either way, if I’m taking things a bit more slowly it should give me time to make the choices a little more thought through.
>where did that sword come from?
Oh yeah, I totally didn’t mention that you still have some of the basic Chosen equipment, which included a sword. You do have a staff too but that is more a personal thing for sarvus. Think of self something like Gandalf in this pick, sword in one hand, staff in the other. You’re cool like that.
Powerguido 05/26/15 (Tue) 21:36:46 da23ca No. 23340
>>23337
About proofreading, I could totally do that! It'd be spelling/grammar only, I won't meddle with story ideas at all. Mail me if you're interested.