Not a joke, just broke, give me ways to die painlessly.

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File: 1438394537866.jpg (161.3 KB, 436x355, 436:355, alchemical-1.jpg)

Not a joke, just broke, give me ways to die painlessly. John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 02:02:17 d03675 No.10267

I have thought of shotgun suicide but I have little money and I doubt I would pass the background check (Told psychiatrist I was suicidal and depressed. I don't know if thats permanent, but it won't matter.) so I am looking for other, painless, AVAILABLE methods.

I live in the US, if that helps.

I was thinking about the "exit bag" method but apparently they put oxygen into the helium tanks that an average person could get to prevent suicide. That sucks. If you have a step-by-step guide thats retard proof then please post it for me. And if you know where I could get pure helium to do this with, that would be super too.

But I have a feeling I won't be able to do either. So please, share some other painless methods of suicide to help me out (and whoever else is reading).

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 02:52:12 328dfc No.10268

Lurk more faggot. Kill yourself.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 03:10:08 d03675 No.10269

>>10268

Honestly thanks.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 03:15:38 d70660 No.10270

Not murrican but why dont you try buying a used/second hand shotgun? maybe you can find one for cheap and bypass background checks. If that is not possible you can try ligature (there is a thread here about it btw,look at the catalog) or just buy a rope and hang yourself normally from a tree in a forest.

Good luck, I hope that your stay here is a short one and that you may die painlessly and quickly, falling into eternal sleep.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 04:18:26 34a7f7 No.10272

File: 1438402707179.jpeg (11.71 KB, 275x183, 275:183, index.jpeg)

you can try jumping off a really big bridge

the golden gate bridge is not a bad choice, you would probably get the same amount of pain and if you still live after you drop you would drown.

if you fuck up shooting yourself you are stuck there in pain til you pass on.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 04:36:35 5444c7 No.10273

>>10267

>sought counseling

Have to be adjudicated mentally defective for that to matter. At least for the time being. If you weren't ordered by the court to be committed, then don't sweat it.

Shotgun to the midbrain/brainstem will be painless, and potato-free. I keep my 12 gauge next to my desk at all times.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 04:48:13 d03675 No.10276

>>10273

I see. Thank you for enlightening me, I thought I was going to have problems buying it.

I read you just put it in your mouth, aim upwards towards the base of your brain and fire.

That will 100% kill me? Does ammo type matter?

I really do not want to be retarded if I mess up.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 04:54:07 5444c7 No.10278

>>10276

12 gauge slug or buckshot will do it. Gasses will do most of the catastrophic damage. Had a friend take off the top half of his head a few years back. He asked his sister if he could take a look at her shotgun (they lived in the country and hunted on occasion), then chambered a shell and ate it right in front of her.

His family invited me over for Christmas dinner about a year later. Most awkward fucking meal of my life. Beyond the time I fished a banana out of the garbage.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 05:29:41 038087 No.10280

Step 1: Get plastic bag

Step 2: Get bunch of rubber bands

Step 3: Put plastic bag over head

Step 4: Secure plastic bag over head with rubber bands

Step 5: Breathe

Step 6: Don't be a pussy when you start suffocating

Step 7: ???

Step 8: ???

I only takes a minute for you to lose consciousness

>>10272

I suggest against bridge jumping because every single person who survived has reported that it was the single most terrifying decision in their life. There seems to be something about jumping to one's death that is far more terrifying that asphyxiation or gunshots.

>>10278

12 gauge to the noggin is pretty much assured suicide. Just do it somewhere that's easy to clean. At least be fucking courteous.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 07:24:44 7e3a60 No.10281

>>10268

Your already dead.scum

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 07:27:32 7e3a60 No.10282

WAAAAAA

I"m poor.so I want to die

Only in america

The really poor people in India, or central america have to struggle to survive, so have no time to think about suicide

My advice,get more desperate so u can't wallow in self pity

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 07:34:21 b7038e No.10284

>>10282

>The really poor people in India, or central america have to struggle to survive, so have no time to think about suicide

inb4 someone posts the suicide rate stats for India

Seriously man, the amount of farmers in India who kill themselves painfully via consuming their own pesticides is insane. People in the third world kill themselves just as much as, if not more than, people in the first world.

John Doe 08/01/15 (Sat) 14:58:15 681bcc No.10300

>>10282

I'm not killing myself because i'm poor, I have alot of reasons, mainly I was abused as a child, have no friends, paranoid personality disorder, hear voices, social anxiety, depression and more.

I litterally give no fucks about money beyond getting a gun.

Troll harder, because you suck at it, you just assumed something about me and made yourself look stupid. How did you even come to the conclusion that its because I'm poor?

Fucking do the world a favor and kill yourself like me.