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File: 1438923498656.jpg (125.29 KB, 960x540, 16:9, 12.jpg)

2b2e15 No.10426

Is anyone else completely over the edge, but the timing would be terrible for the people close to you?

I'm absolutely ready to go.

But a sibling is coming home soon after years abroad, haven't seen them in forever. So I can't ruin that. And I have to wait until well after a relative's wedding in a few weeks. Realistically I'm looking at early November.

I went and looked at shotguns today. A twelve gauge is under $200. God bless Walmart.

I also think I might be bipolar. This is going to be a long couple months.

a296b9 No.10427

File: 1438925032737.jpg (299.25 KB, 729x760, 729:760, 1432809817336.jpg)

Yes, I also realize it wont matter. Its a shitty catch 22 where if you decide to be around them and pretend to be happy you'll just make more happy memories for them to grieve and morn you over.

I've tried to hang on for as long as I can but I've come to the realization that the ones who love us are always wanting for us to go to happy things with them and be apart of our lives. There is always going to be a 'next thing' that comes up to ruin your planes.

This November its probably going to be a big Thanksgiving dinner that you 'just have to come to' after your grandparents let you know that they cant wait to see you again and miss you dearly. Then you're close to December and Christmas and before you know it back at summer a year later with no progress.

I'm sick and tired of waiting. I've had so many chances and shit them away. And right now time is running out. I understand that it will be terrible for my loved ones but I'm sick and tired of living in this weak and insane body. I won't give a shit because I'll be dead.


2b2e15 No.10429

File: 1438932433852.jpg (84.38 KB, 640x431, 640:431, fam.jpg)

>>10427

I'm grinding down a grain of MXE under my tongue right now as I type this, hahah. Redosing. Tonguing psychosis. *jamais vu*

Yes the last decade of my life has been a huge catch 22, but I can really see it in my parents eyes in the last few months, they know I will be gone soon. There is a small victory, seeing the defeat in the back of their eyes, as they hit their 60s. I won't wait on them to die.

Grandmother on mom's side finally died last year, both grandad's long dead, one grandma left who I haven't seen in years, in her 90s.

Have let contact with any important people lapse for months or years. It will also be an appropriate time to walk away from my job.

I've wavered on what to do with my body but I guess I'll be easy to find and dispose of versus self-disposal. I just want my remains to be obliterated/undisturbed and that is a tall order. fam needs closure though


daaa60 No.10433

Leave a video message for everyone and tell them where it is on the suicide note so they'll have something to remember you by. You don't need to go to those events, they will forget about it eventually, but the video will always be there. Good luck m8.


8cbf47 No.10452

There's not really a good time for this.

Best I can imagine is doing it on your birthday.

If you're dead they're going to be upset on that particular day anyway, might as well use it to kill yourself and not ruin some other part of the year.


6142ac No.10453

Don't do it on any "special" day. Just a random day that means nothing, so they can't say it was some holiday bullshit and ignore why you did it.


2b5aab No.10461

>>10452

>If you're dead they're going to be upset on that particular day anyway, might as well use it to kill yourself and not ruin some other part of the year.

I would, and I like the symmetry, but my birthday is right before Christmas.

I want to do it late summer/early fall. No real holidays then anyway.


ee3157 No.10466

File: 1439060745336.png (286.34 KB, 616x605, 56:55, tfha.png)

> plan on going out next month

> been expecting this for the last year or so

> plans made, letters written, no loose ends

> now all of a sudden I have a gf

> she genuinely likes me, needs me, and I there's no way I could leave her like that

I'm kind of hoping she breaks up with me so I can leave this fetid existence, but now I actually have hope and shit, it's all so confusing.


c190f4 No.10467

>>10466

>>now all of a sudden I have a gf

Thats sounds absolutely horrible, what a terrible experience that must be.


158160 No.10468

>>10467

ha

how did you get one being suicidal?


488c77 No.10470

>>10468

>suicidal

>gf

does not compute


ee3157 No.10471

File: 1439080206865.gif (3.91 MB, 270x263, 270:263, suicideclown.gif)

>>10468

Just because you are planning to kill yourself doesn't mean you can't have some time in your life where you enjoy living. Sometimes there are just external circumstances that prevent you from being able to continue living in a dignified fashion, (inability to find work, impending homelessness, disease/disorders, etc.) and suicide is the only rational choice.

Doesn't mean you have to be a Debbie Downer about it all.


7e0aac No.10472


2b2e15 No.11192

File: 1441864081476.jpg (72.31 KB, 800x523, 800:523, 34.jpg)

>>10466

I've broken up with two gf's because of this. I was hiding my sadness and I wanted the distance between us.

Anyway, I'm OP, a quick update.

A month has past and my brother visited, family wedding happened.

Nothing has changed. I dont even have the willpower to go to a doctor and get medicated.

Hopefully I'll be gone by the middle of next month.

Chronic suicidal ideation and planning. I'd like to die in a nearby wilderness area where no one will find my body, but I have to figure out where hunting (a lot less foot traffic) is not allowed and think of a way to get to the area so they wont know where to look. I really dont want to be embalmed (violated by strangers) and prayed for, and then put in a small box.

There is also a semi collapsed cave I know of in the middle of a forest, its obviously dangerous to enter so I doubt I'd be found for quite awhile. Decades probably.

Think I'll overdose instead on some shit from the darknet. But I'll have a shotgun as a back up.

Trying to decide what to do with all my crap. I suppose I will pawn and sell some of it, destroy/encrypt a lot, put some shit in a storage unit. Maybe sell my vehicles. But that all sounds like a lot of work. Again, dont want my parents touching it. Posessions are definitely the biggest hurdle right now.


7643cb No.11193

>>10426

That's me, man. I'm having the problem of living in a Mexican Standoff with the rest of my family. They'll all try to follow me if I go; pisses me off so bad.

If they really loved me; mother would have aborted me to begin with.


640804 No.11411

>>11192

>Trying to decide what to do with all my crap.

Sell all of it and help anon with cash. Im planning my suicide right now and its going to cost around 1400$ gotta do it right, its the last thing im going to do and theres no point in being cheap about it but im a neet and can only make 1000$ from selling all my crap. If I had my own place, car and stuff thats what Id do with my things.


2b2e15 No.11414

>>11411

I'm curious, what costs $1,400? Are you travelling somewhere?

I wasn't going to make it until my date so I started taking antidepressants. Now I'm bizarrely numb but the ideation is coming back again as my tolerance builds.


733172 No.11418

File: 1442816531314.pdf (1.45 MB, the_death_dealer_manual.pdf)

Reposting what i posted in /r9k/.

Just so you have Plan C,BUT since this is from the Death Dealer's Manual rewired for self instead of others…this could be Plan A instead.

icotine Sulfate,Nicotine,Sodium Flouride,Arsenic,Antifreeze, & Prussic Acid works.

For Nicotine,you extract them from cigarette butts.Take the butts and soak them in water for 3-4 hours.Drain it then you've got a liquid additive that will kill. A few drops can kill,but if you want to be sure & Overkill then drain and empty an entire case. Put the remaining liquid additive to your favorite last drink for a nice goodbye.

Snuff(smokeless Tobacco) works too.Dump in a glass of water and fill it with enough water to cover the snuff.Let it soak for 1 day. Later,add a second glass same size.Dump the contents of your first glass into a handkerchief and fold the corners of the cloth shut,forming a ball of the soggy stuff in the glass.Squeeze contents of the handkerchief into the second glass by twisting the cloth. When all the liquid is extracted,you have a very powerful & serviceable poison.

The DDM recomends you place the liquid in a drink that the target will chug down quickly,since your killing yourself then just place it on your favorite soda for a nice goodbye.

And yes..i just gave you a way how to kill yourself quickly via poisoning.

Its supposed to be for killing others but…this works too i guess.

I'm in the mood to type today,so i'll add how to make Nicotine Sufate.

I won't add in others because the tldr advice is: Get your agency to get it for you.

This other poison& Nicotine is something you can get by yourself.

Nicotine Sulfate.

A lethal insect killing poison is Black Leaf 40 for Nicotine Sulfate.A KILLER & needs an autopsy to determine cause of death,blood forensics test to be exact.The Black Leaf 40 that gardening shops sell is 40% nicotine sulfate. You just need to do a simple process called Evaporation.During evaporation,it'll become a syrup like substance.Something a medicine dropper can easily get.Its absorved via the skin & is fatal within minutes,AS LONG AS IT ISN'T WASHED OFF.DDM recomends that you administer this to your target by "accidentally" spilling it on your target. Your going to kill yourself,so just spill it on yourself after locking the doors to any water source so you die in minutes.Note that any attempt to rub it off the skin will only make it assimilate FASTER in the body.

No need to bother with the likes of Risin which just makes death seem like a natural death & not a murder,your just going to kill yourself afterall & the places to get the Castor Beans would be on the lookout for people who would use it for killing purposes.(self/others included)

Last post,hopefully you don't pussy out & actualy go through with killing yourself.

Its a murderer's techniques,so once you do it on yourself,you won't expect it to fail.

GLHF!


640804 No.11424

>>11414

Im going to build a guillotine operated by a timing mechanism. I could build it for much less though.


efedd3 No.11430

>>10471

>Doesn't mean you have to be a Debbie Downer about it all.

Holy shit faglord, where the hell do you think you are?


e66e96 No.11444

>>10470

Clearly you don't know dick about clinical depression. If the only reason you want to an hero is "tfw no gf" then /r9k/ is that way.


4a07c8 No.11446

>>11444

I don“t want a fucking girlfriend m8, im just saying that is weird that someone that wants to die so bad has a girlfriend, you usually have one of those when everything goes ok in your life i mean what the fuck are you going to say to her on the first date? "Nah im planning to kill myself in a few months lol"

Im not the one to judge but that guy is obviously not really depressed having a girlfriend and all, just my two cents

And i probably know more about clinical depression than you


e66e96 No.11478

>>11446

A girlfriend won't alleviate all of his sadness. All him having a gf proves is that he is at least moderately attractive. He's probably real fucked up in the head instead of the common NEET.


bb7b75 No.11796

>>10426

Got any red flags that would prevent you from packing heat? Like have you, as an adult, been convicted for a serious crime or have you seen a psychiatrist?


c19de7 No.11800

Been that way for like 10 years, but the timing is never good, and it never will be.

Like right now i'm thinking "fuck no, too close to Christmas, can't kill myself this close to Christmas"

There is no perfect moment to kill yourself. It doesn't exist. It will always be a massive burden and incredibly painful to others, no matter when you do it.


2b2e15 No.11815

>>11796

I could buy one any minute, I've bought them before just from the local classified ads.

I've seen/heard of a few cases of people only blowing half their head off and being concious afterward, so i'm think the nembutal or fentanyl method is best.

I made the thread about my room mate catching on, i should have posted in this one. i dont know what i'm going to do now.


90ccaa No.11859

The solution to your problem is simple:

You must kill your family and friends first so they wont miss you.


77eec7 No.11860

File: 1444360763199.jpg (61.22 KB, 580x564, 145:141, xpFUE.jpg)

OP, you're going to make them feel like shit no matter when you do it. It's best just to get it done, but it's not easy. If it's a shotgun, aim for your forehead, not in the mouth. Pic related. It is beyond me why our health care system would struggle to keep a guy like this alive. Fucking idiots. LET THEM DIE IF THEY WANT TO DIE.

>>10427

>pretend to be happy you'll just make more happy memories for them to grieve and morn you over

It's a good thing then, I've been a miserable bastard.

>the ones who love us are always wanting for us to go to happy things with them and be apart of our lives

And yet you want to kill yourself. I don't get it. I don't have that. The one person I had that with killed herself. Fuck me. I have valid reasons over here. I'm a lonely fucker, but look at you with people loving you and wanting to do things.

>>10429

All my grandparents are dead. The fuck is this rambling about grandparents? They'll be dead soon and feel nothing about you or anyone else after they die anyway.

>>10466

>suddenly girlfriend

>still wants to die

I say this with utmost sincerity from the bottom of my heart, I wish you the, FUCK YOU FOR WANTING TO DIE WHEN YOU HAVE A WARM CREAMY VAGINA SLEEVE TO SLIP YOUR DICK INSIDE EVERY NIGHT. You're welcome.

>>10472

>de plane boss, de plane

>>11193

Fuck them. Parents have children because they think they'll be nice pets to have around the house to do chores for them, just keep watering and feeding the little bastards like a Chia pet. Then when they're 18, kick them out like a bird out of a nest, and most land smack on the concrete. My parents can go ahead and feel the pain when they get the news I'm gone. They were more interested in wasting their money on material shit than saving for their child's future.

>>11418

Liquid tobacco tastes fucking horrible, mate. Nobody's going to be able to chug that disgusting brew down. Tried it. Couldn't do it.

>>11478

I've had girlfriends, they change your shitty feelings and life around. All you really need in this life is a pussy sleeve. The problem with our stupid fucked up hearts is we get this animal instinct to latch onto one person, and nobody else matters or even registers for us. I badly want to convince my mind it doesn't matter, that any pussy sleeve is good enough. But this stupid human brain is a stubborn faggot.

>>11859

Whether the Buddhists, Christians/Catholics, or church of Lovecraftian fagboys is right, chances are if you do that you're going to be raped by Davy Jones face tentacles from PoTC for racking up bad karma.


097615 No.11869

File: 1444408176662.gif (1.88 MB, 400x170, 40:17, 1424611797298.gif)

>>10466

Would be great to find a suicidal gf, so you could go together.


77eec7 No.11889

>>11877

Politician. Don't be a fucking artist. Especially don't major in Art. If you do that, you might as well kill yourself. Oh wait, forgot where I was for a second.


536441 No.11901

>>11889

But I love to write dark shit and horror, oh well.


9815d5 No.11989

>>11446

Lol some people can just mask that shit insanely well. Like people don't even know I'm depressed most of the time cause I'm entertaining in a quirky retarded autist kind of way(yes I know, but it gets me laid sometimes). Meanwhile in actuality I'm so fucking done. Lulz.


c0b53b No.11992

Im just about ready to go, but a birthday is coming up soon and i dont want it associated with the mess ill leave. My family will probably get over it quite quick if theres no events or occasions around. I pretty much live in my room right now.


41a178 No.12126

>>10426

I'm thinking about mixing all of this, will it kill me?

caffiene, shrooms, weed, cocaine, heroin, asprin, xanax, morphine, motrin, cough syrup with DXM, vallium, alcohol, drammamine and a pack of smokes


045b01 No.12132

>>12126

If you want my advice, pick 1 method and stick to it. Either jumping of a high building or drop hanging are easy and near instant ways to go, just need to prepare yourself and read up on it. Overdosing on stuff usually fails unless you know what you're doing, you'll end up with liver damage and likely end up in a psych ward.

If you have a shotgun just use that, but most people don't have access to that kind of hardware.


a296b9 No.12155

File: 1445669322443.jpg (154.6 KB, 550x696, 275:348, 1423990438254.jpg)

>>11860

>muh lonleyness and depression trumps all of yours

>I am the best at being suicidal

>I am the winner

You're right anon. Time to turn my life around.




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