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/suicide/ - Suicide Tips & Tricks

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File: 1442937253054.jpg (19.09 KB, 350x280, 5:4, FAILED.jpg)

023f58 No.11448

What suicide methods do NOT work?

Bonus points if you have tried something yourself and it failed.

Dammit 200 char limit, fuck you, that is all I want to ask. What more do you want? A little blog like novel?

369b48 No.11449

>>11448

Definitely cutting.


47bc30 No.11454

>Dammit 200 char limit, fuck you, that is all I want to ask.

What's wrong with asking in the sticky? Polite sage


023f58 No.11458

>>11454

The question is hidden after a single bump.


47bc30 No.11459

>>11458

The question doesn't stop existing when it's not in the first page.


023f58 No.11460

>>11459

You think people respond to a question midway of a goddam thread? Fuck off.


69826d No.11461

Anything can work if you do it right. Anything can fail if you do it wrong.

Just make sure you're alone with no one coming to check up on you.


cc4862 No.11464

OTC drugs are comically bound to fail.

This has some information

http://lostallhope.com/suicide-methods/statistics-most-lethal-methods


22d455 No.11466

Good question OP.

As an experienced suicide expert I think I can help you out with this.

Having tried over 30 different suicide methods in my life (including hanging, cutting and self-immolation) I believe I know the best method out there.

First though I will warn you about the methods that will either A) not work or B) be overly painful.

Cutting is shit. Even if you cut vertically there is a good chance you'll miss the vein, and it's a slow, fairly uncomfortable death. I tried cutting in 1985 and I ended up spending 5 excruciating hours in the ER getting stitched up–definitely not worth it.

Hanging is another method that doesn't have too much success. I tried hanging when I was 12 and I just broke the branch–god it was embarrassing.

Jumping is usually a winner but without something to lessen the fear you'll likely chicken out at the last minute.

What really worked was the following:

I went up to the top of a building with a gun, a cyanide pill, and a huge flask of booze. First I started drinking to develop the courage necessary to take the "leap of faith." Then I ate the cyanide pill–this was intended to give me a second death option in case the gun and the fall both somehow didn't work. Then I sat on the ledge of the building with my back facing the street, and shot myself. Within seconds I was dead–before I hit the ground. This happened 5 years ago and I've never come back to life since. Naturally I recommend this method to everyone.


abd96b No.11469

>>11466

Do you think you're funny?


369b48 No.11471

>>11466

Man, you're fucking hardcore.

>>11469

To be fair, his suicide method sounds good.


ab5c57 No.11536

File: 1443211093063.jpg (1.46 MB, 2304x4096, 9:16, 1442425382781-483564724.jpg)

Definitely cutting, I tried this (pic related) and totally fucked up.


023f58 No.11549

>>7105

Ligature appears to be out, as everyone on this fucking board appears to keep fucking it up.

I can't find it now, but there was a post a while back of a guy repeatedly fucking up the exit bag method, and you'll occasionally get a post about someone fucking it up. So that method seems out.


9e9402 No.11553

>>11549

Exit bag isn't out. All you have to do is do it correctly. If you do it correctly it's easy. Basically just make sure all of the oxygen is out of the bag, and let go of all of your air in your lungs then put the bag over your head and then enhale all of the helium.


5a61f7 No.11568

>>11466

I thought this was a good laugh


dd3e4e No.11580

>>11549

Those people fucking up the exit bag are total idiots, the fact that they dont bother doing full research nor getting the right tools like flow control valves and actual pure helium or nitrogen shows it. Because shitty party helium canisters is the idiots and lazy shits way. Of course theyre going to fuck it up.


69826d No.11595

>>11536

Down the road, not across the street, moron.


9e9402 No.11601

>>11595

It still wouldn't work down the road. You have to do a lot of things to make that even happen. Not worth it. If you do want to do it, look at one of the stickied posts on useful links and find the cutting one.


f0978b No.11710

Tried freezing myself. Would not recommend.


1753e5 No.13597

Cyanide poisoning via plants containing amygdalin (e.g cherry pits, bitter almonds, apple seeds, apricot kernels) doesn't seem to work.

I bought 250 grams of apricot kernels online, which should contain a fatal amount of cyanide according to http://www.nytimes.com/1993/03/26/nyregion/imported-bitter-apricot-pits-recalled-as-cyanide-hazard.html

>tried eating them all in one sitting

>got through about half the bag

>feeling dizzy, weak, heart beating really fast

>getting more and more difficult to keep eating; kernels are really bitter, needing to use orange juice and coca cola to wash them down

>start vomiting violently

>heart rate quickly returns to normal, feel dizzy and have a headache for a couple of hours

Not sure if it attempting to eat a large quantity of bitter kernels or the cyanide itself that made me vomit. I considered grinding up a bunch of kernels a making a sort of milkshake, but according to http://members.tele2.nl/galien8/amygdalin/amygdalin.html you likely need to actually chew on the seeds to turn amygdalin into cyanide.


04ef59 No.13612

File: 1453990679428.jpg (64.77 KB, 584x534, 292:267, bandsaw.jpg)

Practically all methods work, when you think about it. It's not a question of effectiveness, it's a question of personal dedication. Do I have the balls to slice my own arteries open despite the burning insane pain? Can I deal with drinking a litre of bleach? Can I slice myself in half with a bandsaw? (PIC FUCKING RELATED - NOW THAT IS A DESIRE TO DIE, REGARDLESS OF HOW PAINFUL IT IS)

>>13597

You do realise you need to chew on the seeds to release the cyanogenic compounds, right? And you'd have the same effect by just chucking it all in a blender (to break up the seeds and expose the internal deadly compounds) and making a milkshake like you originally intended?

Seriously, try it again. Buy another 250 grams of apricot kernels (maybe 300 to be safe). Stick em in a blender until they turn into a fine powder. Buy a milkshake from McDonald's, in a flavour of your choice. Mix in the kernel powder. Drink it all. Sit back and enjoy.

Or fuck that bullshit and get a guaranteed method of death, like opiates (there's a few threads around for heroin or fentanyl) or nembutal (likewise).




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