I'm terminaly depressed now, finally
While other people are depressed about being a virgin, or short, or fat, or stupid, I'm depressed about existence.
It doesn't go any further than this I'm afraid.
I'm completely indifferent now, and I'm ready to die.
I've read once that philosophy was preparation to death. It all makes sense now.
Remember kids, you're not really depressed until your very existence makes you so.
If you want to reach that level, I recommend reading Schopenhauer.