>1 - Helium canisters have oxygen in them so you can't kill yourself with them anymore, you'll just wake up with brain damage.
Yes, we´re talking about party baloon ones. I think they have around 20% oxygen, almost the same as normal air so you won´t even get brain damage, that´s a nice touch from them. Brain damage comes from prolonged brain oxygen starvation but not enough to kill you, read: someone "saving you". You can still get pure helium or nitrogen tanks from your local gas supplier or welder store.
>2 - If you shoot up and through your jaw, you'll just shoot your jaw off instead of killing yourself.
Correct. If you want to get technical I´d say it depends on the gun caliber and your physique, maybe it´s still possible if the bullet has enough energy to go through your jaw and frontal lobe. It´d be a slow and painful death though, maybe it could take up to hours.
>3 - If you try to shoot into your mouth and back, you're likely to miss the brainstem and somehow survive.
I imagine if you aim perfectly paralell to the ground yes you´ll miss the brainstem and hit part of the spine instead without even fully destroying it, possibly ending quadriplegic.
>4 - Shooting across the temples is less preferable to shooting in the mouth pointing "up."
I´d agree with this because when shooting in the mouth pointing up you´re trying to hit the brainstem which will kill you instantly. When shooting to the temple you´ll hit the frontal lobe which is not essential for survival. Again it depends on the gun, bullet and energy.
See Phineas Gage.
>5 - If you try to suicide off of a bridge or building, you're very likely to get caught and 401'd.
I´d say only if you´re an indecisive attention whoring faggot who stays there like a retard, or if the bridge-building roof is heavily monitored.
>6 - Ligature suicide is a myth, you'll just end up really sore.
I thought about this method before but now I think while possible it´s one of the hardest methods to carry correctly. Afaik you´re trying to block either the mayor artery or vein from the heart to brain or both so your brain starves of oxygen but without the inconvenience, pain and distress of strangulation. Unless you have someone else do it for you or you design a machine or mechanism to do it I´d say don´t bother because you´ll inevitably move a bit when you lose consciousness.
>7 - If you don't secure the exit bag very well/use a CPAP you'll end up undoing it in your unconscious writhing and end up with brain damage.
Possibly. But I think for brain damage to be a possibility some time has to pass, more than needed for your body to be able to make unconscious moves. I´d say you´ll just end with the worst headache you´ve ever had if something like this happens. You´re more likely to get brain damage from someone trying to save you if you ask me. I´d ask bondage for some tips on how to secure my hands.
>8 - Cutting methods are very very slow and likely to end up with someone trying to "save" you after you've essentially handicapped yourself.
True, unless you have the guts to slice your own throat as deeply as possible with a perfectly sharp knife and without hesitation.
>9 - Suicide by pill X (where X is aspirin/methadone/whichever) won't kill you and just leave you with severe stomach pains/a fucked up liver.
I havent done any research on pills so I can´t help you here but I get the feeling suicide prevention is one of the reasons over the counter pills are regulated and are useless.
>10 - Suicide by a drop hang has to be X feet high (where X is twice your height or whichever folklore you've happened to hear), otherwise you'll slowly suffocate for the better part of Y hours.
Yes but I think you won´t suffocate for hours, it´d be like suspension hanging plus the added trauma of the fall. And if the height is more than what´s required you´ll rip your own head off.
>11 - That suicide by hanging takes ridiculously long.
For clinical death maybe up to 15 mins or more, im pulling that number of my ass tbh. You should be unconscious pretty quickly though.
But like the post you mentioned above I´ve read of some reports of hanging witnesses where they were alive and conscious for up to 2 minutes so it depends on your definition of ridiculously long.
>12 - Drowning/Freezing to death is excruciatingly painful.
I can imagine the first one is true, but I´ve heard freezing is a process full of alucinations where you end off taking your clothes off because your body thermometer broke and you think you´re in an african desert, more than a painful one.
>13 - Death by illegal drugs/firearms is impossible to obtain, let alone do.
Nothing is impossible, money can overcome anything but considering that´s one of the reasons some of us are killing ourselves you could say yes it´s considerably hard.