Hello, welcome to the club. Hope you can kill yourself soon.
>How the fuck do I get myself to kill my slef? I always pussy out
We have the most maniacally suicidal bastards on the planet working around the clock almost shooting their faces off trying to figure this out. See these threads:
>>10659
>>11942
The best answer so far seems to be, "Get plastered on alcohol, barbiturates, or some sort of downer/a couple sleeping pills, etc.," along with choosing a method that's going to be fucking quick.
Another answer seems to be suggesting a bunch of motivational tricks to get yourself to kill yourself (imagine Shia LaBeouf constantly repeating that you should kill yourself), which are more or less contained in these threads:
>>3940 (list out all the reasons you want to die)
>>1910 (get your suicidal jams on)
>>8372 (pro-suicide art)
Hope you get out quick brother.