Getting in the Mood

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Getting in the Mood John Doe 10/23/15 (Fri) 06:04:49 1ea0d8 No.12134

I can't motivate myself to do anything including suicide. Half of that is mental illness but there's also the normal stuff. Every little pleasant thing like the bed you retreat to, the foods you like, the people you feel obligated to keep happy, little sensations that appreciate because you're alive- All of it makes you think "No no, I can't give that up." even if it isn't logical when you're trying to die. When I'm finally able to reach a point of despair when I tell myself it's gotta happen now I want to know how I keep that conviction and not second-guess myself and trap myself all over again. So my question is how do you forget everything that holds you back? It's a bit silly to ask this of the living I know but someone who failed in their execution of the act might have some insight to the emotions involved.

John Doe 10/24/15 (Sat) 09:14:28 9e6213 No.12159

Don't obsess over wanting to die, or you'll get used to it and never do anything about it.

John Doe 10/24/15 (Sat) 19:37:56 1ea0d8 No.12164

>>12159

Well what the hell do I do then? Those thoughts are passively going through my head every day already and I don'treally enjoy anything anymore. I mean I guess you're telling me to live my life until it clicks but I'm too much of a pussy to dive into things to feel worse than I already do.

John Doe 10/30/15 (Fri) 08:58:46 9e6213 No.12271

>>12164

My personal irony is, when I bought a gun, I stopped obsessing, and now it's just Plan B. It's immensely pleasing to know that I will never have to suffer a slow and agonizing death from cancer or something else. As long as I can move one of my limbs, I'm free.

Comedy full-body paralysis or waking coma.

John Doe 10/30/15 (Fri) 22:40:39 1ea0d8 No.12276

>>12271

I've imagined the fealing of owning a gun and I figured it would give me a bit of relief as you described. I know I'd fuck up sith a handgun though and I don't want a big old shotgun. What happens to suicide weapons anyway? They get locked away in police storage?

John Doe 10/31/15 (Sat) 13:19:21 99c1dd No.12283

>>12276

Suicide weapons are taken into police storage for the duration of the investigation of the suicide. After that they are offered back to the family of the deceased. Those often refuse the weapon. After that it is destroyed. Nobody would want a suicide weapon so it is only logical it gets melted into something else.