/suicide/ - Suicide Tips & Tricks

For me the reason i'm still here is my meds. They are literally the only thing keeping me going day by day. I'm actually starting to enjoy some things again. But who knows how long this will last.

The act of suicide itself to me is a non issue. I openly talk about it with my mother, although she does view it as an issue.

Death doesn't scare me, the pain does.

The only reason I couldn't kill myself is my family. I couldn't do that to them. I don't want to ruin their lives, just to make myself feel better. Or feel nothing at all, which is what I'm hoping. Someone on this board said "Living to please others is a shitty way to live" but if I can't even make myself happy, I'll at least try to make someone else happy.

Waking up in the hospital brain-dead is what scares me the most, I actively want this existence to end, not because of depression or some illness but mostly because as humans we are limited, not only by our own bodies and minds, but the entirety of bodies and minds. This is sort of why I believe, euthenasia should be a human right, a premoted, unguilted, unhintered option. If someone realizes they'll never reach the state of their dreams, and they don't want to go through the onslaught of false answers and medicines. Suicide is a rational choice if you are completely drained by the world, its left you apathetic because of limitation, and you want more but cannot physically or mentally progress without comprising the lives of others. Being bound by an economy that you cannot understand, being forced from the way of life that suited you, crippling injuries, reaching an age that doesn't agree with you; All vaild and rational reasons, if we cannot all exist witout suppression there will always be a call to freedom from death - and that is the way it should be.

>what are you struggling with?

Not understanding exactly what it means to die

I can conceptualize it in a whole lot of ways but I don't know what the experience or lack thereof itself is like

The family thing, too, but I'm feeling more frustrated over that than I am feeling preemptively guilty. It doesn't make sense to me that people react to suicide the way they do yet that fact won't make it make any more sense to anyone else who still has to experience it from their own frame of reference. Really I see the common representation of how a person would or "should" react to suicide as a product of, well, stupidity, I don't know how else to put it. If an individual won't even -let- me say goodbye to them, then they'll never get the resolution they'll need to deal with my death before I die. This "no you're not allowed to say goodbye until some random accident allows you to" dogma just doesn't make any sense, and is actually contrary to someone having the agency to actually genuinely mean it when they do say goodbye. Nobody ever wants to say goodbye and they'll push that opinion on you as "right" when you yourself DO want to say goodbye, they say no that behavior isn't allowed and this disallowment is justified by…? Social consensus? It's stealing away the reciprocal nature of any relationship, built on consensus between all individuals involved.

A happy ending for me would be if I could tell the person who I'm leaving that I'm leaving and I'll help them deal with it before I do leave. But they'll never let me do that and it's going to be a fucking rude awakening when I run out of stamina and have to break it off regardless of their feelings.

>>13422

I feel you bec84b

It sucks how when you die people will so often project their own opinions or (often stereotyped) onto the event and then use those opinions to injure themselves

>"It was the depression! I didn't know he was so depressed!"

No what nagger back the fuck up. I just don't want to be here, that's literally it, full stop. Any further abstraction is pointless. The question that would reasonably follow would be

>"well why don't you want to be here?"

Just take a good look around you. And if I told you in greater detail, you would invariably just write it off anyway and stick to your "no you're defective lol xD" mentality. Why do I even have to justify not wanting to be here? If I'm watching a shitty movie, and I want to get up and go do something else, do I have to explain to the audience in guilt-ridden detail as to why I don't want to be watching this movie anymore? No, I just fucking get up and leave.

>"How could he do this to me?!"

I didn't do anything to you, I don't want to hurt you, you're doing this to yourself. All I did was leave. I still have every intention of mitigating the damage done but if you won't even LET ME, then how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Seems like a person who says this is digging their own grave (kek).

>"I could've helped him!"

This one bothers me the most because it implies that a person would even want to be "helped", as if being re-initiated into what one sees as a shitty reality, and having that unique vision stolen from them, is somehow an objectively good thing. It implies that I'm somehow an idiot for not liking it here. Like dude whatever I get it you love life and want things in the here and now to be as perfect as possible but I am not merely a part of your reality, I'm a part of my own as well. Your refusal to acknowledge that things -cannot- be perfect here just by the very nature of them not being perfect unless I go along with your game of make believe (which is itself a lie, an imperfection) helps no one come to terms with the truth.

Really it's all bullshit because when you see this state of existence as fundamentally flawed, as you seem to, there is nothing that can fix it except a radically different state of existence (or nonexistence). I know of very few things that can cause this on a less than temporary basis other than death.

>>13425

*on a more than temporary basis

>>13425

Insanely well put, thanks so much for contributing that.