/suicide/ - Suicide Tips & Tricks

Right here goes i guess

>Be me, 18 years old, just got driving license

>Miserable, decide one day to do something "fun"

>Come up with plan to nick parents car, drive 2000KM to nature park in norway, really beautiful place, then slit throat, i mean how hard could it be?

>Left at 4am from netherlands, before i knew it i was in germany, also made sure sim card was removed from phone, and it was turned off, only paid for things and fuel with cash, can't have parents / police track me down and ruin the party

>Driving at 190 Km/h over german autobahn, making good progress, feels good man

>Eventually hit denmark and starting to realise what i'm actually doing

>Keep driving all the way through sweden to norway, the rain was really bad

>See glorious moose crossing the road in norway

>Eventually pull over after 20 hours, exhausted, sleep in car

>Next day drive last 2 hours to nature park, eventually get there

>Send text to parents where car was, didn't want to be an asshole

>Didn't realise how stupid that was at the time

>Make my way to the top of the hill, sit down and admire the view

>Spend next 30 minutes trying to slit my throat, didn't succeed

>Decide to just freeze myself to death

>Take clothes off and lie down

>Mild hypothermia sets in, shivering, slurred speech / thinking, couldn't even walk straight

>Eventually helicopter comes over with EMTs, get escorted by police to psych ward. The police officers were really cool

>Spend next 3 days in norwegian psych ward

>Eventually get picked up by dad, and end up back home

That was 2 years ago. I guess at the time i didn't truely wanted to die. Now i'm much better prepared and i won't fail a second time…

>be 19

>want to die

>set up a noose in my closet using a tie

>pass out via partial suspension hanging

>wake up on the floor due to my shitty knot tying skills

But hey, now I have a method that I know can work if I actually get a decent rope and tie a better knot.

>>13790

I dunno man, that doesn't sound so much like a fuck up. It sounds like that was a just a well coordinated efforts on everyone else's part. I mean, even if you didn't manage to slit your throat, you still probably lost some blood in the process, right? Then you proceeded to lie down in the snow for long enough to half freeze to death. If helicopter guy missed you on his first pass, I don't think there would have been a second. A solid effort. I give it a B+.

As for me:

>too cowardly for deaths that are messy, painful, or prone to failure

>decide on poisoning

>helpful anon points out to me that potassium cyanide can kill with only a few molecules, and can be purchased at jewellery stores to clean precious metal

>skip school for only time in life to drive to small jeweler to buy cyanide (this was years ago pls no bully)

>helpful anon is an idiot, potassium cyanide is a controlled substance and is not available for purchase

>had a great story made up to justify myself, but store owner and counter-girl are looking at me weird and my memory crumbles apart

>confidently say "Oh, thanks anyway!" and smile big

>ruse failed, they're still staring at me

>drop spaghetti; stare back for 10 seconds trying to think of what a normal person would say

>abort mission, turn around and return to car without another word

>consider driving home to get Grandpa's gun and returning to rob them of their cyanide

>people would think I was an idiot, so I have to draft a suicide note explaining why I didn't just use the gun

>addendum to suicide note required to explain that I would not normally even make a suicide note, but am forced to in order to prove I'm not an idiot

>mental suicide note becoming mental suicide novel; decide I am an idiot and scrape the entire plan

>there was no backup plan; sit in bookstore parking lot for 8 hours listening to public radio so I can return home at time school would have ended

I failed at such an early step in the process, I'm not sure it even counts as an attempt to have failed in.

I took 50 or so trazadone. I went into a coma for about a week. Now I have serious heart issues because of it

>October 2015

>write individual suicide notes to my families and friends

>write a 7 page will directing the liquidation and division of about $320,000 in assets, the distribution of my personal items, and the disposal of my body

>arrange my most important possessions on the kitchen table along with the letters and will

>military uniform and decorations, childhood objects, FFVI and Chrono Trigger with full original packaging

>purchase plastic bags, tubes, tape, rubber bands, and two Party Time helium tanks

>sign up for several delayed email services that will automatically email emergency services around noon the next day, so my family and friends don't find me

>leave a labeled $500 cash tip for emergency personnel, with an apology

>construct an Exit Bag and and begin to attach it to the helium tanks

>"Tanks contain an 80/20 Helium/Oxygen blend

>FUCK FUCK FUCK

>return the tanks to the party store

>next week

>worked through the week without letting anyone on to my plans

>rent a massive industrial helium tank from the hardware store

>same setup as before, connect hose to tank and test its ability to fill bag

>drink a few beers and put The Wall on TV

>bag on top of head, press all the air out, turn valve on until it fills, exhale completely, pull bag down, deep breaths

>it's not working, chest starts to hurt after a few breaths

>panic reaction, but i suppress it

>finally tear bag off, with a weird taste in my mouth and a pain in my chest, gasping for air

>sit for an hour with a gun in my mouth, too chicken to pull trigger

>i just want to know peace as i go, is it too much to ask?

>shred all notes and will

>today

>still not sure if did it wrong, or the hardware store helium was also diluted

>in the process of liquidating assets

>will leave a much-condensed, simplified will and no note

>planning to use carbon monoxide after extensive online research

>just need to find a good location

>planning on some urban/rural exploration to find a suitable abandoned location

Wish me luck

>>13867

Good luck anon. If we knew each other I would help you out and let you kill me in the process with that gun of yours.

>>13831

That was pretty funny, if only my failed suicide could be as entertaining as that was

Vomited up nembutal. Should have just put the powder in pills instead. It was a half assed attempt anyways

>>13867

What carbon monoxide method are you using?

>>13867

Mother fuck. I had a lot of hope in the exit bag method.

>>13894

I'm planning to get 2 small, smokeless charcoal indoor/outdoor grills on Amazon. Only questions are where I will do this, and how to properly seal the room, etc. Right now thinking about making a comfy hideout in my bathtub and sealing the room, but I'm worried about smoke (haven't fully resolved the issue to my satisfaction yet) and the bathtub possibly sheltering me from the gas. Shouldn't be too big an issue, just want to be sure. Looking at other location options as well. Possible hotel bathroom with signs, etc. Or somewhere abandoned.

>>13895

I can't assert that it definitely does not work, but I'm very confident that the bag I constructed was sealed well and my technique was correct. Helium was probably diluted. The hardware store guy would have had to lie to me for that to be true. If you have a pure source it may still be worth a try.

>>13899

My neighbours in my building have a newborn baby and I don't want to risk killing it with carbon monoxide, so I'm thinking of driving out to the middle of nowhere and doing it in my car, but Im worried I'll fuck up,sealing my car.