Not terribly long ago in late last December I betrayed a bunch of my friends because of my addictions realized I wasn't going to get what I want out of them and ended it on a bad note, I lost pretty much everyone, and been in conflict of killing myself for being such a manipulative cunt that used a bunch of people to reach my desires this is more of not just a selfish thing because I hate my own life and feel I'm a danger to other people more than ever. I feel my last moments should be doing something I love.
If I do end it all what is the best alcoholic drink to literally drink myself to death on, and how much will I need? I was thinking of drinking myself to death because I love alcohol and getting drunk but I need the most potent stuff possible and have enough money saved up to get it. I don't care about my savings if I'm going to kill myself anyway maybe I'll hire a hooker and fuck one last time as well. It's my first choice, second would be maybe going into the river with my car.
If alcohol isn't a effective means of killing myself what else can I mix with it? I want a slow death so nothing that will kill me quick.