/suicide/ - Suicide Tips & Tricks

I've always been at least a bit suicidal. My grandfather and about 4 people closely related to him killed themselves all within a one year period around when I was born, and I have the same terrible responses to stress as my father. So I'm probably very fucked up epigenetically and in terms of childhood complexes.

But way more health problems and extreme emotions than I can deal with have made it real. Right now I'm closer than I ever have been. I want to go so much but I'm scared.

The one thing keeping me is my girlfriend, who I'm pretty sure does genuinely love me although she does a lot to make the emotional problems worse. She just goes away for days and fails to keep appointments and stuff. I understand because I'm pretty high pressure, but she doesn't deal with it well. She is very loving when she is there though. She wants me to adapt to her schedule. Even when I'm extremely suicidal, like today, she just… doesn't really respond well.

I'm away from her because of medical problems. Have to be.

I'm scared of what happens. Of being alone on the other side or being somewhere without her. Of fucking up and being severely injured, and alone here. And of being alone when I go.

I know it's ridiculous and I'm pathetic. I'm like that though. That's part of why I'm so close to going. Constant and extreme physical and emotional pain are the main reasons.

>>8544

I do care for her like that though. I wouldn't preference my not suffering over hers. I think she comes close enough to it as is possible for me. But gets tired out and is much slower pace than me, so my anxiety builds too quickly for her to deal with.

You say I'm not pathetic, but you'd probably disagree if you saw how I get. Health problems mean I don't even function properly sexually anymore as well.

Thanks for your words though. They are appreciated.

>>8545

There's nothing pathetic about not functioning properly or having health problems…

I don't know what your problems are, but my best advice is to get on steroids (testosterone)

Test is everything to a man, literally everything. It will make you smarter, more energetic, stronger, increase sex appeal, improve mood etc…. the benefits are endless just get test and blockers and pin.. too poor to afford that myself

thinking if I should kill myself or get a job and money for steroids cause I'm too pussy to kill myself… not sure if I'm really too pussy to kill myself cause ive done some brave death worthy stuff, maybe i just don't want to hurt my family thats what im thinking but im not 100% sure

is your gf at least hot?

She's hot yeah. Petite and very sexual.

I may have low t because my main problem is with one of my testicles, which I might have to have removed (although probably going to be dead by 'then'). Doctors say that the other one usually makes up for it in production.

They were 'normal' last time I got checked but health problems way worse since then.

Anyway, don't mean to blog. Basically I'm leaning on the side of going. But I want a life with her and not to mess her up or not be there for her. But I'm so buried under problems and in pain and the way she goes away quite a lot makes it seem like maybe she could handle it.

>>8547

I mean T levels were normal. Testicle wasn't.

Anyway, so this thread doesn't get locked, I'm here because legitimately planning to go tonight. Booked a hotel but I'm not sure if it's high enough. 5-6 stories seems like way too high a chance of survival, but I'm kind of desperate. So I'm trying to work out building sights etc. in London (where I am) that I'd be able to access.

>>8549

You need at least seven stories.

>>8550

The easiest method is probably to get around three BBQ grills, put them on fire until the coals are white then seal up your shower so its airtight and put them in there. Wait about an hour then head in. Should be gone in minutes. Research "Hibachi" in the catalogue and make sure amounts are correct.

>>8550

Is that enough? I live on the 8th floor and looking down from my window it doesn't seem enough but every day gets worse I just want to die and make everything stop. I don't even wanna try H anymore before I die I just want to die god damn it.

>>8561

If you live in a huge building why dont you request access to the rooftop?

Just say that you need to go up there to install or fix an antenna and then jump,death will be even more certain and faster than jumping from 8th floor,which IMO is still low.

>>8562

that sounds dangerous man I could get hurt or die

j/k

I'm gonna go to my friend who's a gun nut tomorrow and ask him to hook me up with a gun. If I have a gun available to me sooner or later I'll pull the trigger, I just don't want to have a death that would be slow or there would be a risk for me to survive.

2dumb2live

2dumb2die

>>8542

>girl loves you

She's still alive.

>High blood pressure

This is code for "I scream my head off about nothing like a spoiled piece of shit."

>>8551

Wrong. This method isn't "easy". It burns your eyes and throat, and it took a lot of tolerance to stick around for over two hours when I did it. It was a very small hotel bathroom that I duct taped up the vent and door cracks in. You can tell obviously how successful that was. One large grill on the toilet, two on the ground, 25+ lbs when the recommended is 15lbs. All on cinder blocks. You'd need a CO or pure nitrogen tank.

http://www.jerryhunt.org/kill.htm

>>8577

You're gonna really fuck him up dude, he'll live with guilt

>>8719

This. I hope you don't do that. Can't you acquire a gun a different way?

>>8591

I think he said high pressure, not high blood pressure. As in, he's emotionally on edge. I don't think he was saying that was the medical problem.

He's basically just saying he has strong emotions and acts them out. Probably a trait most here have.

>>8591

You took a BBQ grill into a hotel room?