I really want to kill myself but I'm scared I will be reborn even uglier and poorer what the fuck do I do?I'm gonna die anyway someday right so why the fuck am I so scared of that? I'm not scared of actually dying and never living again, I'd love that.

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File: 1433777467273.jpg (55.94 KB, 640x640, 1:1, Nessa-Rainey-6.jpg)

John Doe 06/08/15 (Mon) 15:31:07 db54c9 No.9111

I really want to kill myself but I'm scared I will be reborn even uglier and poorer what the fuck do I do?

I'm gonna die anyway someday right so why the fuck am I so scared of that? I'm not scared of actually dying and never living again, I'd love that. I'm scared of dying and being reborn. Most people already live shit lives as it is and never get to even experience a fraction of the things that make life worth living and someone with good genetics and money would experience.

What the fuck do I do? Every sober moment of my life is just pain, extreme displeasure. I've felt extreme amounts of physical pain and let me tell you it's nothing to this.

Sometimes I just bang my head really hard and punch myself until it hurts like fucking shit just so I can focus on that instead of my extreme depersionalization.

Can't really afford much drugs. Fuck

Can anyone actually tell me what would happen after I die? I'm scared as fuck imagining being born as an indian, I'm not a racist but lets not joke ourselves outer appearance is EVERYTHING and indians are repulsive and will live shit lives.

John Doe 06/08/15 (Mon) 16:13:15 b3094c No.9112

>I'm not scared of actually dying and never living again, I'd love that. I'm scared of dying and being reborn.

This is my true terror, OP. The idea that we just keep doing this over and over again, there's no escape from existence. We die, we just pop back up somewhere else as a new person, ready to live again.

I'm tired and just want to rest. I'm so done with this shit. I don't want to keep going for eternity, I just want to lie down and stop doing anything, stop existing.

As for the possibility of coming back as an ugly/poor person, I don't think we can slide back down the ladder of existence. We can't regress when we come back, we instead come back to a life more or less on par with what we currently have. The point of it all seems to be progress, you have to majorly fuck up to go backwards. I guess we have to figure out what to do to keep going forwards and get out of this rut we all seem to be in.

John Doe 06/08/15 (Mon) 17:16:36 d9bf11 No.9113

horrible bait

John Doe 06/08/15 (Mon) 17:42:26 db54c9 No.9116

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>>9113

not baiting anyone for anything that's exactly how I feel, not joking

why would i be, did what I wrote not make logical sense to you?

John Doe 06/09/15 (Tue) 04:13:26 7ed755 No.9128

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>>9111

>indians are repulsive and will live shit lives

As long as you're reborn Indian American you'll likely be much better off than you are now

http://newamericamedia.org/2012/07/indian-americans-most-educated-richest-says-pew-report.php

John Doe 06/09/15 (Tue) 14:53:56 db54c9 No.9139

>>9128

What is the point of being rich and educated when you look like shit and no one truly respects you because of your repulsing and beta appearance?

Human connections sadly are a very important part of life, humans are social creatures and all that matters a lot to us sadly.

John Doe 06/10/15 (Wed) 00:50:32 7ed755 No.9145

>>9139

>What is the point of being rich and educated when you look like shit and no one truly respects you

You can hire all those people who don't respect you to be your servant and shit on them.

>Human connections sadly are a very important part of life

This has nothing to do with being ugly. There are billions of ugly people in the world, so they have plenty of people to socialize with.

John Doe 06/10/15 (Wed) 14:10:26 db54c9 No.9150

>>9145

You're just trying to delude yourself. If you are good looking your life will be great and wonderful no matter what. If you are unpleasant to look at no matter how much money you get you'll still have a shitty life unless you're abusing drugs 24/7.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 05:42:32 f29818 No.9161

I've got the same fear as you do srs

Would not want to kill myself only to be potentially reborn into something shittier.

It sucks either way, but I'd rather suffer in a life that I know and am used to then into something I don't.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 07:55:14 6517cf No.9164

I can assure you that nothing will happen to any us after we die. People have been dead for several minutes or been in a coma for months and don't remember anything from the interim. I like to believe that if there are such things as free will and an afterlife, that I could potentially choose to end my afterlife much like one does it in the mortal world.

If there's no free will, then killing yourself was predestined and if you are forced to be reborn to continue some refining process, then you never really had a choice in the first place, so in the end, whatever choice you make doesn't matter because you are just a puppet.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 08:36:13 b93e94 No.9165

>>9111

Well, if you get reborn uglier or poorer then kill yourself (again)

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 10:33:20 db54c9 No.9168

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>>9165

I would but that's the thing.

I see so many old ugly weird people like that virgin 58 year old guy that just raped a school girl in straya. And I think these freaks have made it so far. And I see so many old indians that are still alive.

These people live lives full of pain misery and shit and they still don't know any better to off themselves.

if I am reborn into something else I won't remember anything or have any knowledge. How can I remember to kill myself?

What if I curse myself into another existence of even worse pain and more shit?

Fuck why am I punished like this? I never even wanted to be alive and my whole life, all these fuking years I'm punished by no one for nothing just feeling bad.

God damn it… all i have is pepe

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 19:49:12 6517cf No.9174

>>9168

Just an hero out of rebellion towards a system that is absolute shit. Why be afraid? Be angry as fuck that you are forced to live through this shit.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 20:19:53 58c133 No.9176

You're pretty delusional yourself. I'm straight edge and attractive. That means I have visible cheekbones and sixpack abs. I'm also stronger than most. Even the larger guys (because they're fat). You know what I get outside of your highschool mentality? Ugly people in authority. They're usually fat too. They're jealous. I have been through many jobs over the years, and they single me out, come up with bullshit reasons to make threats. Girls don't come up and ask attractive guys out. They want the safe ugly guys. I cannot even begin to describe how many girls I see with hideous bastards. Fat, butterface, trans weirdos. You name it, that type of guy has a girlfriend. I can get girlfriends. But I'm cursed. They cheat, they leave, or they die. It's the several ones that died that's killing me. The latest one that killed herself in the beginning of March, the most beautiful woman I ever met that gave me the most attention. And I'm a shallow bastard when it comes to looks. My coworkers before I quit this FUCKING job? They were only sad about it for a couple of days. They thought I was crazy for being distraught about her death for months. It still hurts. I've tried to kill myself. I'm as much a failure at that as everything else. I want out of this shitty life and I don't prescribe to some Buddhist bullshit. Death is sleep, there is no consciousness, there is no invisible soul in our bodies. That's our BREATH. Even church lies led Christians will argue and whine and rage against their own bible but it says that in the bible. And Pepe? Seriously man, you're making it obvious that you're some highschool brat.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 20:28:15 db54c9 No.9177

>>9176

Get the fuck out of here with this bullshit.

A friend I used to have was poor and not very intelligent (but in no way a fool) and he was good looking enough to be a model. You have no idea how great his life was compared to mine simply in the area of facial aesthetics. I stopped being friends with him because every time we did something I wanted to kill myself just seeing how great he has it and being reminded of how shitty I do. I mean this guy got the most perfect looking girls I've seen and he didn't even try or give a fuck.

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 20:33:02 db54c9 No.9178

>>9176

just read your story

oh boo hoo the most beautiful girl in the world loved me

I've had nothing FAGGOT

John Doe 06/11/15 (Thu) 20:34:28 db54c9 No.9179

>>9176

Sounds like your 'problems' are mental and hormonal. Try some MDMA or other drugs and you should be cured in a while…

John Doe 06/12/15 (Fri) 23:21:26 58c133 No.9197

>>9178

I'm the one who's had girls, and you've done nothing but fuck yourself and I'm the faggot? lol

John Doe 06/13/15 (Sat) 02:28:58 58c133 No.9200

>>9179

Mental or hormonal? Hormones were a problem when I was a teenager. I've done drugs. Weed, DMT, acid. You're saying I should take ecstasy and that'll bring her back to fucking life? This was love, and I'm a great judge of physical beauty. For all the rest of you bitching about "can't get a girl", lower your standards and raise your exercise regimen. You can't get a girl sitting around on your flabby ass. You think they want personality? Money? All they want is a guy with abs who will fuck them rough. That's it. You don't even need situps. Just plank it for a month or two.

John Doe 06/13/15 (Sat) 07:20:35 3535b4 No.9207

>>9111

What u need is some really pain,like having your family wiped out in an earthquake and losing both of yours legs, and then you will stop your pathetic whining about how your life is filled with emotional pain

John Doe 06/13/15 (Sat) 16:32:41 db54c9 No.9222

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>>9200

Get get the fuck out with this shit. Everyone good looking says that. It's like a rich person saying 'money's not important'. Throw him out cold on the street and lets see the fucked speak now.

Lol if you think lifting helps when it's all about the face. Lifting might get you a dirty slut or two but that's not what it's all about.

"you have missed out on teenage love

you'll never be 15 and in love

lying on the grass on a warm summer night, watching the stars, carelessly chatting

not worrying about rent, bills, student loans

only worry in life is how you're gonna cheat on that history test on monday

you'll never take a young, tight, hot-bodied girls virginity, pulling out to cum all over her back and have her look in your eyes and say "I love you"

you'll never have a girl around every day after school, pretend to be doing homework together, but instead just **** like rabbits

you're in your 20's now

gotta get a good job

gotta be a serious man now

all the good ones are taken

maybe a nice girl will eventually settle with you

they have already felt all those new exciting feelings before, and are usually jaded and bitter

you missed what it feels like to have not a care in the world other than making your girl happy

you have missed out on teenage love"

Lol at 'lower' your standards. What's the point to be with a girl that does not attract you one bit in any kind of way and even repulses you?

Lmao if you think muscles really matter and lol @ you calling my shredded 4pl8 squat glutes flabby.

>>9207

I've had plenty of both kinds of pain. You think this is some race? That just because you have something you think is worse to feel bad about others shouldn't ever feel bad? I've fucking hated living ever since I was a fucking small child. All these years just displeasure.