No.529773
Nava Shield is honestly the most creative piece of malware I've seen in awhile now:
http://youtu.be/UI2jl-MAWsc
>typical rogue antivirus trial you've never heard of, that acts as if it's a solution to some external problem rather than the problem itself
>whereas other rogues simply display pop-up ads, disable ctrl+alt+delete and make web browsers unusable to give the impression of some external malware infection, Nava Shield goes one step further
>it opens browser windows full of NSFW fetish content, as annoying sound clips of Russians laughing at you play unstoppably in the background
>the system tray shrinks and expands as Microsoft Sam chimes in every now and then to cuss at you and say strange phrases
Why can't more malware be like this? Why is it all either no-name forks of Chromium with embedded adware, or the 200 gorillionth fake antivirus? Ransomware shook things up a bit, but it's still either fake warnings from authorities or a terse message from criminals. Nothing too poetic. What happened to the black hat demoscene of the 90s that treated their creations as an art? You know, those fantastic viruses you had nightmares about as a kid, born out of primal fears of losing control? I love that shit. More people need to write viruses for pure sadism than a quick buck from low-hanging fruit.
No.529778
Fuck, wrong video link from an earlier thread I tried to post on /v/. Here's the correct one:
http://youtu.be/0hxFyDpfcg0
No.529780
>Why can't more malware be like this?
Because virus makers sold out. Ransomware is too profitable an illicit business to pass up. Organized criminals don't give a shit about playful hacks.
No.529784
I believe there could have been potential in the stagefright exploit to infect android shitphones and piss off normies en masse.
It may still be possible considering how the mobile makers can't be assed to update their software.
>exploit victims via video message
>infect device
>propagate via contacts
>???
>profit
No.529789
because ransomware is both easier and more profitable to make than some funny shit
No.529790
People started to host more personal info on their computers, and malware creators realized that they can start making some money.
What's more likely to make more money, a one shot obvious malware that says "haha got your info" or a fake anti virus that could stay indefinitely, forever skimming data?
No.529795
>Did you know?
>Just 3% of today's security problems are caused by traditional viruses.
heh
No.529802
>>529773
because it's a business now.
used to be hobbyists and there'd be a joke, demo, or animation.
now it's just slavs trying to make some paper.
No.529803
>>529795
Because the other 97% is PEBKAC
No.529835
>it opens browser windows full of NSFW fetish content, as annoying sound clips of Russians laughing at you play unstoppably in the background
SMUG AS FUCK
I remember seeing some mexican sitcom (Una familia de diez, creo) and one of the kids (think 90's stereotypical computer nerd, but smugger) makes a virus that replaces your screen with random insults (including Scurvy, because the kid is also a bit dumb) and sends it to the Chinese/some other asian stereotype.
No.529853
>>529773
Because everybody figured out there's way more money in social engineering.
>b-but what about doing it for the lulz instead of money?
That only worked when the internet wasn't literally an ocean of normalfaggotry and corporate shills. All the hobbyist nerds and hackers have moved on to other shit.
No.529901
>tfw viruses will never be created as pranks ever again https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPLdcH79ztI
No.529941
Hands down, the best fucking malware would be a DAESH-authored ransomware.
>According to fatwa #573 issued by Caliph Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi on 15 Jumada al-Akhirah 1436 (4 April 2015 on the Gregorian calendar), you or your organization have been declared enemies of the Islamic State of Iraq and Levant and we have taken action by cryptographically blocking your access to your personal files. To unlock your files, please send 24 bitcoins within the next 7 calendar days to the following address.
>"There is no deity but God and Muhammad is His prophet. God is greater".
No.529942
No.529960
I worked a shit tech job for retail a while back. I saw some funny viruses now and then. There was one that didn't do anything except fuck with extensions and some of the windows context menus so you could never open with. It would also open to default program, and the default program was always the virus. Not exactly the most amazing piece of work, but I got a kick out of it personally.
No.529965
The best thing I've seen in a while was that browser exploit several years ago that activated when you visited some site and would redraw the window to a random location every time you moved the mouse over it so you could never click on anything.
No.529979
No.530509
Lets brainstorm creative viruses.
>Typo Correct ++
>Pretends to be a typo corrector, the first few months, works as advertised.
>Every once in a while, replaces random words with parts of copypasta, typos, and shit, this is hidden to the user.
>slowly increases the number of these, untill in about 6 months later gramma's nice e-mail to her niece reads as WGW.
in case you're lucky enough to not know the tale: http://pastebin.com/sYjLjvuJ
No.530569
>>529784
android malware that sets wallpaper to a lude loli miku, cannot be changed, persists after factory reset
No.530573
Back in the day I made a really bad fake "PC cleaner" program that started off normally, displaying bullshit like "cleaning registry... emptying recycle bin..." but halfway through it would freeze up any input and display "downloading horse porn..." and it would download a bunch of horse porn images and set one as your background. 15 year old me thought it was hilarious.
No.530596
>>530569
>lude loli miku
I fail to see how that would be a problem
No.530611
>>530596
>doesn't see the problem
>with forced cp background
Kill yourself.
No.530623
>>529773
I don't think they're dead, they're just getting less publicity. It's the Internet that's getting really bland and normalized.
No.530625
>>529853
>All the hobbyist nerds and hackers have moved on to other shit.
What shit?
No.530627
>>530611
Issue Closed: Not a bug
No.530638
>>530611
>loli
>CP
only in clapistan
No.530642
>>530611
normalfags everyone
No.530653
>>529773
>You know, those fantastic viruses you had nightmares about as a kid, born out of primal fears of losing control?
Heh. I still have nightmares about those from time to time. I actually had one this week.
Looks like someone's been watching rogueamp and/or danooct1. Obviously people writing malware these days only care about money, but some of Dan's viewers tried their hand at making more creative programs, and he's been showcasing some of their creations lately.
We could try writing our own ones, I guess.
No.530657
You know what "HACKERS COULD TURN YOUR COMPUTER INTO A BOMB?" pic?
Would that actually be possible by running high stress programs 'till the CPU/GPU overheats and burns?
RIP old as fuck PC
No.530679
>>530657
Could force an overclock and extreme overvolt for unlocked CPUs.
You'd have to set it to target the gamer audience, that's the only market that really buys unlocked.
No.530775
>>530657
Could be done if you fucked with laptop batteries possibly.
No.531160
>>530611
Not everybody lives in Bongistan.
No.531165
>>530657
Supposedly there was a series of motherboards once that could be made to catch fire by fucking around with bus frequencies through some debug instruction someone forgot to remove.
No.531166
>>529773
How long til rogueamp does weeb games live 3?
No.531167
>>530653
danooct1.com/forum if anyone wants to submit something.
No.531169
>>529790
Going to samefag for the nth time to say "Dis is one half."
No.531176
Windows 10 is the end of malware, All new win10 machines will have secureboot on by default and the system itself is constantly looking for malicious programs and removes them accordingly.
It's going to kill the neighborhood pc repair man that makes his living installing antivirus.
No.531178
>>531176
WIndows10 is malware.
No.531189
>>531178
Yes but it's Microsoft Malware that is designed to eliminate other malware.
No.531331
>>531196
Who the hell wears fingerless gloves when using their computer?
No.531337
>>531331
1337 |-|/-\x0rz fr13nd3r1n0
No.531363
How to be sure malware can't be easily traced back to the author?
I have a faint memory of some kids getting fucked by one of microsofts debug features.
Obviously, using an airgapped system would be a start.
No.531374
>>531196
poorfriends who can't afford to heat their homes.
No.531375
>>531331
poorfriends who can't afford to heat their homes.
No.531399
>>531196
People with circulatory issues? I'm guessing past some point it'll be most old people wo type a lot.
No.531757
>>529773
It's because everything is illegal now and carries the risk of a long time in jail. So the only ones who still write malware are criminals who only care abut money.
No.531800
>>531757
>make something illegal
>"Now only criminals do it!"
Anon...
No.531820
>>531800
Well, that's actually true, if you do something illegal you are a criminal. not that it stops me
No.531847
>>531196
>Wangblows 10
This is the future you chose.
No.531857
>>529901
You know, there's nothing stopping your from doing that. It just so happens that malware devs want to make money instead of keks.
No.536635
What WERE the funniest malwares?
No.536646
>>529802
Viruses/malware was always either about profit or (in the earliest cases) to spread a political message and get it across
The predecessor to modern Ransomeware is Scareware (fake antivirus programs saying you need to pay a company hundreds of dollars so they can remove fake viruses)
Ransomeware is proven to be far more effective as it's more forceful than trying to trick computer illiterate grandma's
The only real counter to Ransomeware isn't Common Sense 2011 extreme edition; it's "Always back up your shit!"
No.536656
>>531160
Or Koalastan or Krautistan for that matter
No.536658
Also how about this, before it ultimately destroys your computer it releases fucktons of personal information about the user of the infected pc
No.537004
No.538349
>>536658
That's windows and OS X.
It already exists.
Literally.
Before planned obsolescence kicks in, it gathers your personal data and puts it in the cloud services they so heavily advertise.
No.544216
No.544265
>>530509
lol not a bad idea
No.544308
>>531800
>make saying naughty things illegal
Only criminals say naughty things!
>make thinking about bad things illegal
Only criminals think about bad things!
>make breathing illegal
Only criminals need to breathe!
No.544584
>>529941
Payment removes ransomware, but after 3-7 days it reappears
>According to 18 U.S. Code § 2339C you or your organization have been found guilty of providing funds to terrorist organisation DAESH
>Your files have been cryptographically locked as evidence
>To unlock your files, you can deposit bail of 40 bitcoins to the following address
No.544702
>>544584
I doubt anyone who knows what bitcoins are and how they work is actually going to be dumb enough to fall for this.
No.544736
>>529773
Because Adware is replacing most "viruses" these days.
The only real viruses worth anything are rats because they create botnets and give the ultimate form of lulz. Plus they're pretty easy to make and spread if you have some time on your hands. Old school viruses were just too obnoxious and not really that purposeful.