54m50n !rFHRbO/sT. 11/12/14 (Wed) 07:55:48 No. 2762
let's have a TES humor thread
Trainwiz 11/12/14 (Wed) 08:00:34 No. 2763
That's not funny though.
Anonymous 11/12/14 (Wed) 08:45:44 No. 2767
>>2763 Vehk is always funny enough
Anonymous 11/12/14 (Wed) 10:00:32 No. 2772
I have a few mildly amusing screenshots
Anonymous 11/12/14 (Wed) 18:49:52 No. 2791
>>2775 lel that one took me a moment
Anonymous 11/17/14 (Mon) 01:24:25 No. 2974
Anonymous 11/22/14 (Sat) 03:01:00 No. 3191
Anonymous 12/03/14 (Wed) 09:48:15 No. 3638
Anonymous 12/03/14 (Wed) 09:49:03 No. 3639
File: 1417600143739.png (183.61 KB, 720x386, 360:193, 10714206_355422321294295_1….png )
Anonymous 12/03/14 (Wed) 09:49:23 No. 3640
Anonymous 12/03/14 (Wed) 09:49:41 No. 3641
Anonymous 12/03/14 (Wed) 09:50:31 No. 3642
a classic
Novice Lorefetcher 12/03/14 (Wed) 17:51:44 No. 3655
>>3640 This pic.
This fucking pic is so fucking accurate.
Serana is such a cunt.
I hate vampires.
I kill 'em when I see 'em.
Anonymous 12/04/14 (Thu) 07:37:06 No. 3676
>>2775 I saw this when it was first posted and thought I got it.
Now I'm looking at it again and I don't get it, and I can't remember what I thought it was.
Is it just that the lutist is boning the player?
Anonymous 12/04/14 (Thu) 07:42:57 No. 3677
>>3676 That's all I though there was too it, unless there's something particularly funny about the minstrel boning the player while they're making Akaviri tea?
Anonymous 12/04/14 (Thu) 22:36:06 No. 3690
>>3642 And yet that still makes a hundred times more sense than the temporal clusterfuck that is Tiber Septim
Anonymous 12/04/14 (Thu) 23:41:40 No. 3706
Anonymous 12/05/14 (Fri) 11:57:35 No. 3719
File: 1417780655440.jpg (779.28 KB, 1360x2172, 340:543, HOT NEWS BALGRUUF EXPOSES ….jpg )
Anonymous 12/05/14 (Fri) 15:57:28 No. 3726
Anonymous 12/05/14 (Fri) 19:23:55 No. 3728
>>3726 I dunno? Jarl Balgruuf "cost the lives of innocents" by standing up to Ulfric? (how many people actually die in the siege anyways, like one or two maybe?)
Anonymous 12/05/14 (Fri) 20:51:40 No. 3730
>>3728 That doesn't seem like much an argument regardless. How do you think the Empire would respond to Balgruuf joining Ulfric? Do you think they'd just say "fuck it" and leave him in peace?
Anonymous 12/06/14 (Sat) 15:05:19 No. 3751
File: 1417878318969.jpg (516.84 KB, 1370x1060, 137:106, 'Argh.' Jarl Balgruuf, 4E ….jpg )
Anonymous 12/06/14 (Sat) 15:24:33 No. 3752
>>3728 Balgruuf isn't responsible for Ulfric's aggression.
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:27:05 No. 3770
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:27:47 No. 3771
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:28:14 No. 3772
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:28:43 No. 3773
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:28:55 No. 3774
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:29:32 No. 3775
Anonymous 12/07/14 (Sun) 11:29:52 No. 3776
Anonymous 01/01/15 (Thu) 18:49:10 No. 4309
>>3677 Shit I didn't even notice the people in the corner. I thought It was that Akaviri Tea is clearly just spiced blood.
but that's more of an Ayleid thing so I'm clearly a fuckhead.
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 10:50:16 No. 4324
filename
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 12:51:45 No. 4326
Anonymous 01/02/15 (Fri) 17:29:11 No. 4331
>>3773 MK is confirmed for dreamboy.
Anonymous 01/03/15 (Sat) 03:06:48 No. 4337
>>3640 10/10, completely accurate. I seriously think Bethesda intended her to be a waifu.
IMO she was just plain annoying
>>3775 Holy shit. Saved.
Anonymous 01/04/15 (Sun) 12:25:27 No. 4361
>>4337 Of course that's what they intended, it was pandering to the romancing-obsessed BioWare crowd. That's why it was so funny that she refused to get married, it was like a tiny middle finger to the cancer of RPGs. They knew it was gonna get modded in, but at least the fetchers had to do that much.
Anonymous 01/06/15 (Tue) 21:30:10 No. 4404
>>4361 Wasn't the official story for the no marriage thing because they didn't want to have to possibly re-hire the VA for lines in later DLC?
Anonymous 01/24/15 (Sat) 05:24:55 No. 4808
>>3640 Are there any domestic violence mods I want to lop her head off and put it in my trophy room
Anonymous 01/24/15 (Sat) 07:03:45 No. 4816
>>4808 personally I think it's more funny to talk her into becoming human then completely abandon her to sad little new found mortality.
Anonymous 01/24/15 (Sat) 07:29:16 No. 4817
>>3639 oy u cheeky cunt. gr8 b8 m8 i r8 it 8/8
Anonymous 02/08/15 (Sun) 14:45:40 No. 5149
>Mid-game Skyrim playthrough >Thieves guild mission in goldenglow >Leave Serana in the sewers there so she doesn't fuck up my sneak >Finish the mission >CBF to get her back >Play 100+ hours after that >Finishing the Dragonborn DLC by hopping around all the outer islands in Solstheim >Battle music comes on >Begin swimming towards island >It's that spriggan grove >There's only one spriggan left >Serana is there, fucking them all up >Won't let me talk to her there >Continue playing >See her like twice more at random times >MFW she became sentient
Anonymous 02/10/15 (Tue) 12:51:56 No. 5168
>>5149 the companions do the same
Anonymous 02/11/15 (Wed) 16:26:28 No. 5206
>>3772 wasn't there a short lived meme about this very topic?
"If Talos isn't a Divine, then why do we get blessings when we pray to him?
Stormcloaks 1
Thalmor 0"
Anonymous 02/13/15 (Fri) 06:36:11 No. 5250
>>4337 >ten year old >giant breasts Disgusting.
On another note, if anyone has any good loli-looking racemenu presets, please gibe.
Anonymous 02/14/15 (Sat) 03:10:10 No. 5267
>>2763 Are you actually trainwiz? I sent you an email about several problems with the wheels of lull mod.
Anonymous 02/14/15 (Sat) 16:45:35 No. 5287
>>5267 Trainwiz has eyes and ears everywhere. Shit he'll even talk to you if you know where to find him.
Anonymous 02/15/15 (Sun) 13:19:11 No. 5319
>>5287 Where can I find him if he doesn't respond to the email he left with his mod?
Anonymous 02/15/15 (Sun) 13:42:51 No. 5320
>>5319 His tumblr
I shitpost there regularly and he's replied to most of them.
Anonymous 02/15/15 (Sun) 13:51:47 No. 5322
>>5320 I can't be bothered learning about tumblr as well. Pasting it here in hopes he sees it.
TRAINWIZ:
Hey, playing your mod, having some fun but I think I bugged out Archeron and his henchman.
During the breaking out of jail quest, the part where you're supposed to grab the diary I wondered if Archeron would become hostile or something if I made noise. I used a spell and nothing really happened but there was no conversation had between him and his henchmen(I died so I heard it once).
When I was put in a cage and Divayth Fyr tried to transform back Archeron never showed up. I tried a bunch of different things before having to use player.placeatme which seemed to work and make everything get back on track. Now I'm up to the final battle and once again, he didn't appear. Player.placeatme isn't going to work this time since his script doesn't fire, he doesn't teleport or change colours(I fought him for some time before giving up and turning to a playthrough on YT). I tried to find his refid using 'save archeron 1' which brought up a bunch of names, among them was Archeron, there was an ID next to it, prid and then tried a few other commands, didn't work. Moved the player to the prid location and it was a blue area with no structure or assets(like making a new room in the CK).
The henchmen also didn't pop up and I had to placeatme him, didn't work after 20+ falls into the pit and Lullodos(I can't remember the name) showed up so I just tlc'd through and the quest was completed.
I've given up on the battle and tried to move the game forward through setstage _lull_mq01 to 1 all the way through until 12 and nothing changes. The game hasn't registered that I'm in the cave at all either.
I can't think of anything else that would have bugged it other than that. The only problem to occur happened with those 2 and the armour set but that doesn't matter to me.
Anyway, any ideas on how to get passed this bit?
Cheers for all the mods you've made over the years, much appreciated!
Anonymous 02/15/15 (Sun) 14:20:35 No. 5323
>>5322 If you really need to talk to him these are two places he lurks.
http://trainwiz.tumblr.com/ He answers most stuff, if you say something stupid he'll chew you out.
http://steamcommunity.com/groups/tesgeneral in the chat of that one most of the time.
Trainwiz 02/15/15 (Sun) 23:54:35 No. 5335
>>5322 Not completely sure what causes this, if he appeared in the dungeon section he SHOULD appear later appear in the jail. The script that spawns him simply moves Archeron to Fyr's position. PlaceAtMe won't work, scripts work off the RefID, not the new baseID.
I've been working on a large patch, and while I can't recreate the bug, I should be able to add a few failsafes to force it into working.
Anonymous 07/08/15 (Wed) 16:09:33 No. 7819
Talos Worshippers working in the IT Security Field now.
Anonymous 07/10/15 (Fri) 19:43:02 No. 7834
File: 1436557382051.jpg (292.31 KB, 1360x768, 85:48, 22330_screenshots_2011-11-….jpg )
Anonymous 07/12/15 (Sun) 09:09:40 No. 7845
>>7840
I wish later games weren't so shit on dropping things. I miss being able to go rather crazy with bits making my house feel all cozy and properly lived in.
It's impossible to manage shit with actual physics. As cool as physics are, I guess.
Anonymous 07/14/15 (Tue) 15:35:15 No. 7856
>>7845
Easily fixed. Play Morrowind. The later games are trash, anyway.
Anonymous 07/16/15 (Thu) 04:04:27 No. 7871
>>7856
why are you hear if you only like morrowind
Anonymous 07/16/15 (Thu) 04:04:48 No. 7872
>>7856
why are you here if you only like morrowind
Anonymous 07/17/15 (Fri) 00:59:37 No. 7878
>>7872
I like Daggerfall, too.
Anonymous 07/20/15 (Mon) 02:03:32 No. 7894
>>7893
The funniest part is explosive defending this mod. Does that name stand for his diarrhea?
Anonymous 07/20/15 (Mon) 13:33:17 No. 7897
>>7894
No, what is funny is all the butthurt fetchers defending Todd. They must really fucking love his cock.
Anonymous 07/20/15 (Mon) 16:15:22 No. 7898
>>7897
Waiting for the wave of banhammers on the comments section.
Anonymous 07/20/15 (Mon) 18:29:41 No. 7899
>>7897
>implying modders would hate on Todd Howard, the soon-to-be father of the Bethesda(R) Mod Store (TM)
Anonymous 07/21/15 (Tue) 20:54:23 No. 7903
>>7902
R.I.P Morrowind Summit/PES
Where once there were modding sites now stands only gigantic hives of faggotry.
Anonymous 07/26/15 (Sun) 13:46:25 No. 7923
>>3640
Well, I kinda liked her as a companion for the first time, sure she is a bit annoying, but it's still fun enough.
Anonymous 08/07/15 (Fri) 00:07:12 No. 8021
>Oblivion Thieves Guild requires you to nick something from the Arch Mage's room.
>I am the Arch Mage.
>Awkward moment when you steal from yourself and plant a note in your own desk saying you stole something from yourself then possibly get kicked out of the Mages Guild for stealing from yourself.
>Um… How???
On that note:
>Guildmasters can get kicked out of their own guild.
"How can you even run the guild when you kicked your own leader out?" I guess they don't like hypocrites.
TFW IRL Governments pull this shit all the time and get away with it
Anonymous 08/21/15 (Fri) 07:00:24 No. 8190
>>8167
I wonder what the Nerevarine's persona was.
Anonymous 08/21/15 (Fri) 07:11:00 No. 8191
>>8167
also wouldn't it make more sense to have king helseth as the emperor and the archcanon as the hierophant?
Anonymous 08/25/15 (Tue) 00:10:55 No. 8205
File: 1440461455323.jpg (1.36 MB, 800x3235, 160:647, 05ddd0f75800f1747183dad626….jpg )
Dumping some funny stuff I found on deviantART.
Anonymous 08/25/15 (Tue) 00:21:05 No. 8206
>>8205
Twatlight bashing time.
Anonymous 09/03/15 (Thu) 04:02:35 No. 8293
I can't believe I haven't seen it in this thread.
Anonymous 09/03/15 (Thu) 22:43:21 No. 8300
Anonymous 09/22/15 (Tue) 05:07:00 No. 8418
>>8190
Wildcard/The Fool easily.
Anonymous 09/22/15 (Tue) 15:00:54 No. 8427
Anonymous 09/30/15 (Wed) 17:09:08 No. 8531
Skyrim green-font story:
> be playing as my beast nord character, and I'm leveling up everything to 100 because chim
> pickpocket is a ball-ache to level up, as well as being useless in game
> I discover that pickpocketing arrows from guards is really easy and gets surprisingly good gains in leveling, and the arrows are useful in game
> make a habit of pickpocketing all the arrows from guards when I get to a city, it works really well, I have more arrows that I could ever expect to use and my pickpocket skill is leveling nicely
> I've been doing this for a while now, my character is about level 55-60 and I'm pretty much indestructible, I go to Solitude
> I've just finished stealing the arrows from literally every guard and imperial soldier in the city when an ancient dragon swoops over
> all the guards are running around with their swords out waiting for it to land getting blasted the fuck out
> the fucked eventually lands and ALL THE GUARDS swarm it, must have been about 20 of them
> dragon flaps its wings, smacks its tail, and all the guards go down
> I finish off the dragon like a boss
> a single surviving guard says to me "my cousin is out fighting dragons and what do I get - guard duty"
There are no words in the English language to describe my reaction
Anonymous 09/30/15 (Wed) 17:45:04 No. 8532
Anonymous 10/01/15 (Thu) 23:26:17 No. 8593
>>7840
>Drararyne_Thela's_house.jpg
Anonymous 10/15/15 (Thu) 13:50:22 No. 9073
Some more funny stuff from dA
Anonymous 10/16/15 (Fri) 01:48:59 No. 9098
File: 1444960140110.jpg (203.38 KB, 612x1056, 51:88, Death_of_a_Battlemage_by_S….jpg )
Anonymous 10/16/15 (Fri) 02:01:47 No. 9100
File: 1444960907366.png (629.04 KB, 567x854, 81:122, skyrim_having_children_by_….png )
You know I have always wondered why they did not have a special forces made up of kids in Skyrim. It would have solved many problems.
Anonymous 10/16/15 (Fri) 02:42:50 No. 9103
File: 1444963370183.jpg (167.46 KB, 1024x575, 1024:575, This one needs to lay off ….jpg )
Saw this on a play through last year, eventually had to delete the save file, and unsubscribe from a mod.
Anonymous 10/16/15 (Fri) 13:30:38 No. 9118
More funny images from dA. The first one is the most appropriate for this thread.
Anonymous 10/17/15 (Sat) 12:38:08 No. 9166
Tamriel according to the Dunmer.
Anonymous 10/19/15 (Mon) 05:38:15 No. 9212
>>9118
1st is modding community in a nutshell
Fuck modding, I'm going back to console
Anonymous 10/19/15 (Mon) 06:15:13 No. 9213
>>9212
>being a console pleb because some fetchers make awful mods you can just mock and move on
Anonymous 10/19/15 (Mon) 16:14:27 No. 9218
>>7902
Damn, some of them have no sense of humor
>>9118
It really wold be nice if there were mechanics that would make characters react to your style of dress and armor. that's something I would see working in M&B more than TES
Anonymous 10/19/15 (Mon) 16:15:46 No. 9219
>>9218
> It really wold be nice if there were mechanics that would make characters react to your style of dress and armor.
It has this in Skyrim
Anonymous 10/20/15 (Tue) 00:26:57 No. 9222
>>9219
Very well done, I might add.
>exclusive heavy armor user for a 170+ hour playthrough
>"Light armor, eh? I get that. Fast on your feet."
Anonymous 10/20/15 (Tue) 15:16:32 No. 9233
>>9222
technically that would be them commenting on your skill in Light armor ( as soon as you hit 50 or something in a skill they may comment on it )
but there are comments specific to what you're wearing - a few I can recall off the top of my head
> wearing ancient nord armor makes them comment that you smell like a grave robber
> wearing imperial/stormcloak armor makes members of each treat you differently
> wearing no clothes/armor makes people comment that you need to put some clothes on
> wearing saviours hide makes guards comment on it
Anonymous 10/21/15 (Wed) 00:39:23 No. 9237
>>9233
Do you need a dictionary to look up the word "Sarcasm"? Or did you miss the part where my light armor skill shouldn't be above the default level because I only wear heavy armor as a warrior class?
Anonymous 10/21/15 (Wed) 10:24:52 No. 9244
>>9237
Not sure which part of that post you're getting angry about, it's a legitimate response to what you said.regardless of you being sarcastic
The light armor comment by NPCs is a reaction to your light armor skill, not what you are wearing at the time, not sure how you being sarcastic refutes this in any way
And your light armor is obviously not at the starting level otherwise they wouldn't make the comment, you've probably read a load of skill books and worn it at least a little bit without realizing (some items count as light armor that you wouldn't think like some of the necklaces). You must be at least level 30 at it (i've checked and this is the point at which they start saying it, my previous comment saying 50 was wrong)
So yes, while I will agree that certain aspects of NPC interactions don't play out perfectly, when I said NPCs do react to your outfits in Skyrim I was correct.
Anonymous 10/21/15 (Wed) 13:50:17 No. 9245
>>9244
Yeah, it's incredible how you can get comments about being adept in a certain skill even if you have never used it… skill books, racial boosts and skill level quest rewards combined can get any skill to a decent level.
Anonymous 10/21/15 (Wed) 23:10:24 No. 9250
>>9218
>>9219
Didn't people comment about your clothes in Morrowind? Mentioning if you were wearing expensive clothes, or if you were naked.
>>9233
Having more would be nice. I'd love to see comments about Daedric outfits, or insults if you're wearing a ridiculous mismatch set.
Anonymous 10/22/15 (Thu) 12:27:31 No. 9251
>>9250
> Having more would be nice. I'd love to see comments about Daedric outfits, or insults if you're wearing a ridiculous mismatch set.
Do you get to the cloud district very often?
Oh what am I saying, you're wearing a Dwemer cuirass with Nordic Boots you blind uneducated swine.
Anonymous 10/22/15 (Thu) 18:12:48 No. 9252
>>9251
>mfw
Boethiah's bellend, that was funny as fuck.
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 08:41:16 No. 9257
File: 1445589676368.jpg (198.17 KB, 615x399, 205:133, 6CumlNi4bQxHBHGGn5ibI645TH….jpg )
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 09:46:16 No. 9260
>>9244
Guards comment on most armour types I think.
>>9250
>Didn't people comment about your clothes in Morrowind?
Yes. Morrowind even had it's own meme response where every single fucking NPC would say "I don't think I've seen a [player race] wearing such a grand outfit in a long time"
because the game would assess the price of your armour and enchanted belt and rings etc and its all expensive as shit.
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 15:38:55 No. 9262
>>9257
And here I was thinking you couldn't get worse than Oblivion's default Orc faces. Amazing.
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 19:58:34 No. 9266
>>9257
>>9262
It's objectively terrible.
What the fucking fuck.
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 20:04:25 No. 9267
Oh god the more I look at it the worse it gets.
they're literally worse than oblivion faces, what the hell…
Anonymous 10/23/15 (Fri) 20:31:15 No. 9268
>>9257
>>9262
>>9266
>>9267
so bad I had to comment. oh god.
Anonymous 10/24/15 (Sat) 04:56:58 No. 9272
>>9267
>>9266
>>9262
Seen any elves? Hahahahaha
Anonymous 10/24/15 (Sat) 05:02:35 No. 9273
>>9272
I just now noticed they purged the comments section too. Nice.
Anonymous 10/24/15 (Sat) 14:26:09 No. 9279
>>9273
kek. let me see if they banned me.
Anonymous 10/28/15 (Wed) 06:01:36 No. 9315
>>3640
>Wait, are you crying?!
Anonymous 11/19/15 (Thu) 10:02:46 No. 9597
>Be Breton
>Join military
>Become general of a Colovian Warlord
>Become best buds with said warlord
>Kill him in his sleep
>Take credit for everything he did
>Take credit for everything filthy Nordic Ash-
King did
>Take apprentice
>Take credit for everything he did
>Achieve CHIM
>Rewrite History so I did all the things I lied about
>Soul trapped in big green gem
>Ohshit.jpg
>Become a god
>Become super popular
>Sit around as people who worship me are killed by Dagon
>Let lowly dragon god banish him
>Empire falls
>Worship of me is banned
>Slowly losing my power
Karma is a bitch Talos, you filthy cunt
Anonymous 11/20/15 (Fri) 17:51:39 No. 9610
>>9597
That is terribly misleading.
Anonymous 12/03/15 (Thu) 05:43:27 No. 9862
File: 1449121407316.png (Spoiler Image, 3.56 MB, 1920x1080, 16:9, sexy imperial watch.png )
>>2762
This is the result of changing an Oblivion guard's sex to female. and installing a body mod It's even weirder when it speaks because of the female voice.
Anonymous 12/03/15 (Thu) 12:46:47 No. 9875
>>9874
Is that some kind of strange precursor to prequel adventure?
>camping on the way back to chorrol
Anonymous 12/07/15 (Mon) 02:40:09 No. 10007
>>9597
>anti-talos
Thalmor, please.
>>9874
>>>/tumblr/
Anonymous 12/08/15 (Tue) 08:40:56 No. 10044
>there are casuals who think this
Anonymous 12/09/15 (Wed) 08:40:17 No. 10055
>>9862
stupid sexy cyrodiil!
Anonymous 12/23/15 (Wed) 01:09:49 No. 10237
>>9862
Bruma: that's where men are women!
Anonymous 12/24/15 (Thu) 20:34:33 No. 10245
>>10008
This isn't the cringe thread, scalie.
Anonymous 12/25/15 (Fri) 14:41:04 No. 10246
Anonymous 12/25/15 (Fri) 22:35:29 No. 10248
>>9874
I'd never fuck a reptile but Dar-Ma is a sweetheart
Anyway, I hear Argonians are a magnet for scalies
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 08:57:42 No. 10289
>>9875
look up the deep ones.
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 19:20:19 No. 10290
>>10248
Probably. At least Bethesda has had the moral fiber to remove any and all sexual content to try and fend off these reprobates. Even the stuff in The Real Barenziah.
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 21:43:04 No. 10294
>>10290
I actually don't mind that elder scrolls isn't that lewd. I don't like titty mods and shit because it just fucks my immersion up. Why on earth would women be walking around in bikinis in skyrim? What sane woman would strut about in provocative garb in a conservative place like morrowind?
If they're going to have that shit, keep it to a whore house. At least that makes sense.
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 22:15:06 No. 10298
>>10294
The mods should be less of nude walking around and more of nudity in places like the hot springs for example in Skyrim.
Anonymous 12/30/15 (Wed) 23:45:49 No. 10299
>>10298
In all seriousness, I would prefer sexuality to exist in-game aside from the books. Bethesda seems to just not want to get into it much. Fallout 3, for example, barely has any of that stuff but its there, not very relevant though. Fallout New Vegas handled it much better.
I think TES would definitely benefit from it. On the other hand, if you just ignore all that stuff there's no risk of falling into Bioware-tier Thalmor bullshit where sexuality becomes a substitute for good writing and character development.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 03:27:47 No. 10303
>>10294
Dark Elf chicks are wanton whores, anon. Morrowind might be conservative, but they contrast it pretty harshly. At least until they get old as balls.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 04:23:08 No. 10306
>>10299
to be quite honest i think more sexually positivity in bethesda games, like the stripper house in morrowind or the nudity in earlier tes games would really bring me into it more. the witcher series is nice for not shying away from that content, and that's part of why i like its more mature world.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 06:01:09 No. 10307
>>10306
Nude mods are the best, what takes me out of it is when Bethesda uses weird female armours.
Really not a fan of Devine Domina.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 06:21:07 No. 10311
>>10306
Bethesda is currently hellbent on mass appeal and homogenization, so don't expect them to do anything that requires an ounce of artistic integrity.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 10:30:42 No. 10312
>>10303
dunmer teens tend to leave their homeland while they get the whore fucked out of them.
they lust for nord muatra for a couple decades and get their senses back and find a well to do great house retainer to settle down with.
They certainly wouldn't be walking around Morrowind in a bikini asking people to fuck them though.
>>10306
a few whore houses here and there would be in canon for the world but it seems like profligacy in general isn't that big on Tamerial unless you're a daedra worshiping cultist.
>>10311
I thought fallout 4 had a pretty good art direction
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 22:08:13 No. 10316
>>10312
Fallout 4's art/design was the only tolerable thing about it. Everything else was shit.
Anonymous 12/31/15 (Thu) 22:26:37 No. 10317
>>10312
>dunmer teens tend to leave their homeland while they get the whore fucked out of them
The reason why Dunmer teens are so slutty is because they are looking for a mate. Their insatiable lust for cock ends once they find a suitable elven spouse, or get pregnant, which likely happens quite quickly in their conservative homeland.
The reason why Elves like Barenziah are such massive whores is because they grew up outside of their homeland. There is no sacred Nord cock pilgrimage.
Anonymous 01/01/16 (Fri) 08:48:25 No. 10325
>>10317
nothing seems to indicate that though.
the only thing we have to go off of is the real barenziah which says that dunmer girls lust for cock at a young age and grow out of it.
>>10316
agreed.
if they try to put even half of the inane shit they piled into fallout 4 in the next elder scrolls game i'll drop them hard.
Anonymous 01/01/16 (Fri) 19:57:37 No. 10331
>>10325
>nothing seems to indicate that though
The game Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind indicates it, seeing as there's not a single promiscuous Dunmer in the game.
Barenziah's uncaring lust ends directly after she gets pregnant which makes sense seeing as most elves tend not to give birth to multiple children anyways. It is stated in the book that it is not healthy for Elves to mate with other races as it can mess with their ability to give birth, as Elven gestation is much different from that of other races. When it is made clear that Barenziah wants someone to settle down with, she is advised to do so with another Elf. It makes plenty of sense that having sex with other races would not sate a Dunmer's lust for a mate, unless they got pregnant or merely grew out of it.
Also, there is certainly nothing that implies that Dunmer girls straightup leave their province in search for cock.
Anonymous 01/02/16 (Sat) 15:44:21 No. 10340
>>10331
This all makes sense on paper but I personally have been stared at, lusted after and on a select few occasions physically sexually assaulted by dark eves of both sexes while strolling through what used to be a decent neighbourhood of my home town.
I won't dump al the statistic here but I promise you if you were to check the census ever since Morrowind was allowed into the Empire and dark elves began to migrate into our lands, you will find that the number of inter-species sexual violence is incredibly disproportionate and almost always elf-on-Nord or Imperial. They crave our superior blood and are jealous of the achievements of our ancestors while it was only a few decades ago they stopped living in huts and hunting with spears. Name ONE dark elf author or healer of the last Era (who wasn't a daedra worshiper!). Can't do it.
t. A Son of Skyrim concerned with Her future and that of Our people.
Anonymous 01/02/16 (Sat) 22:48:08 No. 10351
>>10331
why would dunmer be all over tamerial unless they had a need?
think about it, most dunmer only like morrowind and hate everywhere else. Its cold, shitty, boring, and full of n'wahs. Morrowind has everything they need.
My running theory is the dunmer you see outside of morrowind are outcasts and profligates. Barenziah was ready to marry and fuck some disgusting nord and fucked a cat dude. Most of the dunmer you meet outside of morrowind are deviants that don't hold up their traditions like that woman in cyrodiil that's into necrophilia. The refugees in skyrim didn't have any reason to leave if you look at it from a reasonable standpoint. They could have easily moved to the mainland or solstheim, so why move into nord lands? Because they weren't wanted in their homeland.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 03:01:35 No. 10354
>>10351
>why would dunmer be all over tamerial unless they had a need?
Well, first off, Skyrim is full of Dunmer because they actually did have a need to flee their homeland. Cyrodiil is just a cosmopolitan hellhole, and its dominion over all other nations tends to trickle its cosmopolitan tendencies elsewhere.
Do you think the near 50% foreign population of Vvardenfell are all people with a lust for Dunmer cock and pussy?
>Barenziah was ready to marry and fuck some disgusting nord
Fuck maybe, not marry. The reason she had sex with them was do to her natural urges, she's fucking in heat. Something she would likely have been able to cope with better had she been raised amongst her own kind.
>Most of the dunmer you meet outside of morrowind are deviants that don't hold up their traditions like that woman in cyrodiil that's into necrophilia
I'm sure being raised outside their traditions would be a likely cause, hence the term outsider. You are right that some Dunmer are indeed exiled for dishonoring their families, though I doubt this is in anyway a common occurrence, just as much as I doubt a Dunmer lady would risk their safety traveling Tamriel in search of foreign cock when there is probably a perfectly nice Dunmer lad next door she can fuck.
I also highly doubt the Dunmer would exile a fucking herd of their own people after a devastating crisis, the Dunmer in Skyrim were likely the first to escape their province.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 04:07:43 No. 10356
>>10354
We know that during the red year house redoran managed to become the most powerful great house and the destruction of the tribunal likely ruined house indoril. I'm of the opinion the dunmer refugees left their home either out of shame or because they were squeezed out. No self respecting dunmer would have fled his homeland in need unless they weren't wanted.
the eruption of red mountain devastated vvardenfell but as far as the mainland goes they managed to survive. Besides i'm pretty sure they would have managed to rebuild in 200 fucking years.
the 50 percent of people in vvardenfell that were foreigners were carpetbaggers flooding in to get rich. Maybe a few of them caught the gray fever I dunno.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 05:55:24 No. 10358
>>10354
>No self respecting dunmer would have fled his homeland in need unless they weren't wanted
Several Dunmer in Windhelm talk about returning to their homeland so they can't really be exiled.
>he 50 percent of people in vvardenfell that were foreigners were carpetbaggers flooding in to get rich
That was kind of my point. It's ridiculous to assume that foreign migrations would be driven by a lust for cock.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 06:03:32 No. 10359
>>10358
>talk about returning to their homeland
so why don't they return? No ones stopping them, unless of course something actually is stopping them, like being in exile. Morrowind is far from uninhabitable, hell they rebuilt balmora and that place got leveled by red mountain.
its young female dunmer that are cock hungry, i'm not saying all dunmer are horny fucks. I'm pretty sure a sizable number of travelling dunmer women are simply trying to subdue their urges, maybe not all of them but at least a good few.
If we knew more about the sexual traits of the races other than cat wangs of course then we might be able to figure out more about this.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 07:29:59 No. 10360
File: 1451806199153.jpg (186.76 KB, 1024x1365, 1024:1365, tribunal_temple_disciple_b….jpg )
>>10359
>so why don't they return?
Well from their dialogue it seems to be alternatively a monetary issue, or simply qualms about abandoning their community.
> I'm pretty sure a sizable number of travelling dunmer women are simply trying to subdue their urges
Except that makes no fucking sense, why the fuck would someone travel all across Tamriel (which is not a small place, mind you) merely to get a dicking that they could easily find in their own communities? If your answer is that they actually have some sort of irrational desire for interracial sex, that's fucking absurd.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 07:41:32 No. 10361
>>10360
I'm saying that they lust for big nord cock that dunmer men can't supply. Young dunmer women are loose and horny unless they're properly contained.
i'm not saying they travel all across tamerial, i'm saying a good number just end up settling down and being profligates. Those outlander dunmer spread out, divorced of their peoples traditions and customs.
>easily find in their own communities
Morrowind is a very conservative and uptight province. Its people are prudish and extremely distrustful. The temple censored the real barenziah for fucks sake.
>qualms about abandoning their community
they already did that when they ran to Skyrim. Their people needed them and they left. If they weren't exiled they're probably not welcome back.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 07:59:20 No. 10364
>>10360
Lol nigga he's winding you up. He couldn't find a single source that supports that fact.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 08:01:09 No. 10365
>>10364
only source we have on dunmer fucking habits is the real barenziah.
you can read the red year to understand why the refugee shit doesn't hold up.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 10:34:12 No. 10369
>>10361
>Implying censorship of outlets wouldn't just exacerbate the fuck out of the desire of these young dark elf whores to get slambangpounded through the fucking ghostfence by handsome young men like Jiub 24/7
>ran to Skyrim
>lore after Morrowind
Cancer.
Anonymous 01/03/16 (Sun) 17:32:41 No. 10371
>>10360
>I'm saying that they lust for big nord cock that dunmer men can't supply
It's made quite clear in the Real Barenziah that they lust for anything that fucking moves.
>Young dunmer women are loose and horny unless they're properly contained
Like within familial traditions
>i'm saying a good number just end up settling down and being profligates
I'm sure the same shit happens in Alinor too, but I highly doubt it would be a "good number", most Elves quickly grow out of their sluttyness anyways.
>If they weren't exiled they're probably not welcome back
I'm pretty sure the people of Morrowind would be more than willing to allow their people back into their homeland.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 07:52:02 No. 10378
>>10369
>being this much of a fag
look man I didn't like skyrims gameplay either but learn to let it go. You can't just ignore things into nonexistence like you're numidium or something.
>>10371
>more than willing to allow their people back into their homeland
>mfw
If you abandon morrowind you're a fucking n'wah, case closed. There's nothing lower than an outlander dunmer.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 09:49:25 No. 10382
>>10378
>You can't ignore things into nonexistence
Yeah I can. I play Morrowind, I don't accept any modern 'lore' as anything other than shitty marketing for a dead series' propped up corpse. Shit's going alright, now why don't ~you~ start going, alright? Get out.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 10:30:15 No. 10384
>>10382
>trying to shoo people away on a board with 9 people
~no~
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 12:37:23 No. 10386
>>10384
There's probably 20 of us regulars, but we don't have enough content to all post every 3 days.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 16:01:03 No. 10387
>>10382
Lol, that's more of a "you" problem, not board policy. This is for all TES Lore, not your feels.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 17:35:29 No. 10388
>>10378
>If you abandon morrowind you're a fucking n'wah, case closed. There's nothing lower than an outlander dunmer
Maybe back in the fucking second era.
First of all, an outlander would be someone born outside of the province, not someone who leaves it. And even if there are outlander Dunmer in Skyrim, which there almost certainly is, they would still be allowed in seeing as the fucking outlander you play in TES III is tolerated, and you can be the biggest fucking n'wah TES V PC ever and still be allowed to freely roam Solstheim. And traditionally, there are by far castes lower than a outlander Dunmer, like a member of any other race for example.
Second of all, Morrowind is in a fucking crisis and would probably be willing to accept any help it can get as long as it isn't coming from the Empire. If you're a Dunmer, all the fucking better. Brelyna Maryon tells you in Skyrim that a shit ton of Dunmer living in Winterhold returned to Morrowind after the eruption of Red Mountain. The last thing the crisis ridden haven government of Morrowind would want is to appear antagonistic towards its own people.
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 18:14:46 No. 10389
Anonymous 01/04/16 (Mon) 21:03:39 No. 10393
>>10388
I chalk up the solstheim shit as "this would be really annoying if we made this a gameplay mechanic". I did love how people treated you differently if you're a dunmer, like how councilor morvayn calls you a dumb n'wah for not understanding your own peoples customs.
its not second era shit, in Morrowind if you play as a dunmer people treat you like shit consistently, fuck its the key defining trait of the province really. The only reason they tolerate your ass is because they're being forced to by the empire. The dunmer in windhelm ran from their homeland rather than staying and fighting. They're pathetic fetchers with no spine. The dunmer in winterhold earned their respect by helping in the relief effort. Even if they were n'wahs they knew where their home was at. The "refugees" in windhelm are lower than garbage.
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 01:04:56 No. 10394
>>10393
>in Morrowind if you play as a dunmer people treat you like shit consistently, fuck its the key defining trait of the province really
Oh shut the fuck up, people rarely treat you like shit in Morrowind, most of them, if anything, just call you an outlander because that's what you fucking are. The only people who really give you a lot of shit for being an outlander are the Camona Tong and Gothren. If anything you're accommodated too well in Morrowind, you're able to join Great Houses for fuck sake!
I don't even know why I'm arguing about this? I fucking hate the Dunmer refugees too!
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 01:59:49 No. 10395
>>10393
Did I get drunk and end up at the Ghost Fence? Cause all these posts are full of spooks.
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 05:50:34 No. 10399
>>10387
It's not a problem at all, it's the solution. You are the problem.
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 08:42:50 No. 10402
>>10394
at least in Morrowind they're consistent with their treatment. in skyrim NPCs flip a coin when deciding whether to kiss your ass or insult you.
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 08:58:48 No. 10403
>>10384
in a community of 9 people, 1 dumb cunt is too many.
Anonymous 01/05/16 (Tue) 16:59:17 No. 10406
Anonymous 01/06/16 (Wed) 05:02:37 No. 10410
>>10394
>not naming that picture Muatra'Dib