/tg/ - Traditional Games

>no special powers

Maybe if you use the baseline as humans. We're the gold standard, nigga

>No special powers means no special weaknesses either

>Strength in numbers

>Faster passing of generations means no stagnation because the same old farts stay in power for centuries or demand extermination of other races because your granddad's carriage got cut off on the road by some knight 2000 years ago

>barehanded unarmored fights are for savages and chumps

>vanilla is still a flavor

3/10 try again.

>>205519

> not realizing that human imagination is necessarily limited to the natural experience of human authors

> not realizing that because of this any and all races, species and peoples of an exotic nature will necessarily be humans but with a gimmick or an exaggerated set of already human characteristics

> not realizing that because they lack such a gimmick base-line humans are the deepest and most interesting group in any non-natural setting

>no special powers

What is endurance hunting?

I wish this was reflected in games. The insane endurance humans can, and in the past always did develop.

Humans are exceptionally good at out-enduring everything else. We're energy efficient on the move, even though we're definitely not the fastest.

This is something I wish was reflected in fantasy. One way to really add nuance to races would be to remove some of the things humans are good at, because they're not human. Humans have a lot of interesting adaptations that we don't think about because we are human.

If another race is better at X then they WILL be worse at something else. There are always tradeoffs.

>>205534

Endurance is acceptable, good job anon.

But don't start with any of that fucking HFY healing factor shit or whatever the fuck they ramble about these days.

It's embarrassing how out of touch those idiots are with the human body versus nature and animals.

Additionally, most humanoid races would have similar abilities within reason. It would be reasonable that some kind of elf race would be better at endurance running whilst a dwarf would be handicapped.

>>205534

>If another race is better at X then they WILL be worse at something else. There are always tradeoffs.

Let's see…

- Elves are more graceful, long-lived, tend towards powerful magic and are snooty as shit. This makes them ill-equipped to deal with situations they've never seen before, their arrogance makes them poor trading partners, their long lives mean that their society will be rooted in the old ways for millenia and if the magic gives out they are stuck with low level technology.

- Dwarves are tough, stout, have great physical and mental stamina and are skilled miners and craftsmen. However they are immensely set in their ways and are either unwilling to try new things because "the old ways have always worked for us" or because it is actually forbidden by laws and customs. They are also prone to immense speciesism and will simply not work with certain species for any reason whatsoever.

More later. Maybe.

>insane level of physical endurance that allows them to hunt simply by following something till it falls unconscious from exhaustion then finishing it off

>longest lifespan of land mammals

>no special powers

Is there any system where humans are stated for their insane endurance and not "balanced stats"?

>>205537

>elves

Yep, you're right there.

>graceful,

I'm not entirely sure, but there has to be some trade off. I'd say that they wouldn't be able to attain the heights of raw strength that a human can.

>long-lived,

Ah, I think I no the trade off for this one. They're slow healing without magic. Why? Because their bodies degrade slowly because their self repair processes are really, really good… But slower, so they suffer little age damage. Now, they're not hemophiliacs, but a wounded elf will be fucked up for longer. They've got healing magic to counteract this a bit, but still

>Dwarves

Shortness has it's own advantages, and>>205539

disadvantages

>>205539

>is not energy-efficient

Of course not.

But we had to be energy efficient to do it in the first place.

It's not bullshit, humans are better at dissipating heat, and two legs is more efficient that four even though it's slower. We can run longer.

Endurance hunting shows how humans are better at stamina. That's my point. Here's a modern day example:

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/for-40-years-this-russian-family-was-cut-off-from-all-human-contact-unaware-of-world-war-ii-7354256/?no-ist

>Dmitry built up astonishing endurance, and could hunt barefoot in winter, sometimes returning to the hut after several days, having slept in the open in 40 degrees of frost, a young elk across his shoulders. More often than not, though, there was no meat, and their diet gradually became more monotonous.

I'm not saying what you think I'm saying.

I am not saying

>Endurance hunting is a fucking awesome way of hunting!

It's not. It's last resort. But the fact is that it DOES work, and we CAN do it. It only works because we are better at out-enduring things. That's the only reason, in every other respect it is terrible.

>>205540

>It's not. It's last resort. But the fact is that it DOES work, and we CAN do it. It only works because we are better at out-enduring things. That's the only reason, in every other respect it is terrible.

Okay, that I can live with.

>>205537

I've always felt that the best representation of "Dwarven culture" wasn't "stubbornness for the sake of stubbornness", but more of a "If it's not broken, don't fix it" type of attitude.

>>205543

Ooh, I almost forgot.

Humanity has ANOTHER superpower.

It's called highly complex society-building.

We have written language and complex social structures.

Compared to fantasy elves, maybe that's boring, but compared to termites, it's pretty impressive.

>>205543

>Humans suck if you are a bad imitator of Tolkien.

I'd say that everything sucks if you're a bad imitator of Tolkien. In fact, I think people should just stop imitating him at all, unless they really, really have a reason to do so. Fantasy opens so many possibilities, just like sci-fi, and both genres seldomly have their full potential exploited. In fantasy, we have the same old races, every nation is a kingdom, and the tech-level is late medieval; in sci-fi, we have capitalistic dystopias and spaceships. And it's not like there wasn't enough material to get inspired by, so I have no idea why people STILL take the generic fantasy setting and change a few names, add some new traits to established races and make the Ancient Evil something else this time.

>>205542

>"If it's not broken, don't fix it" type of attitude

But doesn't that contradict dwarves being the "best" craftsmen? Or is it like IRL human artists and inventors, who always have to fight an uphill battle against convention and traditionalism?

Humans are just Skaven-lite, with the advantages and disadvantages that affords.

>>205548

>In fact, I think people should just stop imitating him at all, unless they really, really have a reason to do so

There is no more reason to create yet another setting where almost everyone are crap-covered farmers. Fantasy writers: stop it.

>so I have no idea why people STILL take the generic fantasy setting and change a few names

This really bothers me as well. Come on, what's wrong with a fantasy setting where the world is a giant crystal spire full of jutting "branches" with endless sky above, below, and all around with maybe a few orbiting "floating islands" and such, and societies build upon this? There'd be a fuck of a lot of flight going on, that's for damned sure.

Elf: HURRRRR look at my graceful swordplay puny human. DURRRRRR you have no chances against my agility!

Dorf: Ye weak Human, I'm a strong dorf and I can lift this 100 kg axe with a hand, ye longleg, hope you can run fast 'cause I'm going to dislodge ye skull.

Orc: Rawr me ork me stronk, me pillage and rape all humans!

Human: well old sports, it's a matter of fact we just invented this repeating rifle and we are going to stick it up your asses and pull the trigger. Don't get extinguished yet, so we can invent some nuclear weapons in a couple of centuries and scour you from the face of the planet.

>>205553

>elves and dorfs just sit around drinking their wines and beers, checking in on da humies every few centuries with little interest, until one century the humans have all sorts of shit neither race can comprehend, then they go "well it's just a bunch of harmless toys" and back off for another few centuries until suddenly humans are flying through the sky

>>205552

I once read a story set on a gigantic grasshopper floating through space. THAT'S what I call original. Or your setting. Fantasy with a focus on aerial warfare and territorialism. Or why not set your game in a society akin to the Icelandic Commonwealth, with titles of nobility that you can buy as well as inherit, with rather flat hierarchies and contract-like relationships between a king and his subjects?

>>205547

> Dog companions, best buds forever

As much as elves are portrayed as being at one with nature they are never shown actually shepherding and bonding with animals in an "elven" way the way humans bond with animals in a human way and likewise the animals don't bond back. You might see an elf with a woflpack around him but you don't get to see the elf sleeping and the dogs all huddled up around him, or the elf playing and joking around with the wolf like a human would a domesticated dog, there just is no defined relationship, as though it were all an arangement of convenience and pragmatics than of friendship. The elves don't feel like their a part of the wolf pack so much as an ally of the wolf-pack as opposed to a human who will look, feel and act as the alpha of alphas in a pack of hunting dogs. Hell if a dog's master dies it's not uncommon for the dog to die of sheer heartbreak afterward, you don't see deer and unicorn outright giving up on existing over an elf.

That elves also aren't commonly depicted as agrarian, raising live-stock, sheering them for whool, butchering them for meat, naming them, picking favorites, being liked more by some of the animals than by others on an individual basis, whether it be among mammals or fowels betrays that they may actually be entirely unempathetic towards animals and involved in taking care of and assisting them. Even in sport-hunting man and animal explore the cycle of life and death together and in big-game hunting against lions and cheetahs and bears, the man is as much at the mercy of the beast as the beast is at man's, if he fails to take life respectfully and responsibly his life will be taken in exchange.

I know a guy who raises cattle, (not dairy cattle but big shaggy yak lookin' motherfuckers) and there's on in particular that he's buddies with and the only reason he ever uses a shock prod on him is because the bull loves him so much and wants to play with him but doesn't realize that playing with the guy the way the bull wants to play would kill him. You don't see elves bonding with yaks or pigs or sheep or chickens or parrots.

Mankind has a real role among the animals as the head animal, he has dominion over the beasts, as it is written but elves are a part from it, they live alongside them but are not like them.

Maybe this is why man and elf are always at odds, the latter is a pretender to the throne of the natural world, being themselves supernatural in nature.

>>205562

Elves are really shit caretakers, they forget to walk their dogs, they don't shear their sheep or run livestock between fires to cleanse their skin, they forget to pick their children up from school and they often just up and let their society collapse.

Rather than reveal how poorly they handle their pets and companions, they avoid doing so all together. Either dominating them with magic or acting above interaction beyond maybe filling the bird feeder once every few decades. Do you ever see elves keeping cats? Didn't think so.

>>205562

That's a good point. I guess most fantasy authors who write these goddamn hippie-elves never had a dog.

>>205562

That's a nice spiel there.

Dwarves are order in material, masters of that which came before all else, the unchanging basics

Humans are order in life, as ordained by nature/god, the good shepherd

Elves are order as it should be according to god/magic, perfection is impersonal, unerringly consistent

>boring as dicks

>Implying dicks are not the highest form of entertainment.

Outta here faggot.

>>205519

Sexual Dimorphism

Humans have the loveliest females and the strongest males.

Elf men are basically women and dwarf women are basically men.

>>205519

>no special powers

I think being able to breed with every other race in the universe a pretty great super power.

>>205562

I think its because they choose not to be friends with them. If they decide that humans are disgusting animals that are not worthy to even speak to elves, imagine how they view actual animals.

You can take care of animals and not have any feelings for them, but they will treat you the same

>>205539

Fuck off back to /sp/ you autistic german.

>>205637

I'm German (how did you guess?), but actually, I come from /fit/.

>>205645

Not him, but looking at the post, Gazzelle is the English spelling, not Gazella. Beyond that is grammar structure typical of non-romance first language.

Given that Gazella comes up as Italian first in google, one need only point to the closest non-romance language group.

>>205579

You're awarding humans basic evolutionary instinct, but not their rivals. Fantasy cultures didn't need to carve out their niche through blood and violence.

As written, dwarves have no evolutionary reason not to descend into the planes and use their greater strength and longevity to outcompete homo sapiens in the stone age. So they're arbitrarily made conservative and given a fetish for mining so they don't murder fucking everything.

>>205668

Yes they do.

Shit tier height can't see over tall grass, climb trees, ride horses.

That is a better fault for elves, save they are certainly the K'est of K-types to our R.

>>205535

That would assume they all evolved off of a similar baseline.

If they didn't evolve from enduring adapters, they'd be quite heavily different.

Dwarves are more mole-like with their ground loving, they're probably scavangers you ask me.

Elves may be hunters, given their usual string of agility and speed and such. Not a pursuit hunter, mind, more ambush orientated.

>>205550

I would personally assume it's more that dwarven craftmanship is passed down with constant techniques through massive lines of generations, so literally every single dwarf probably has some hundreds of thousands of little insider tips and tricks for every little thing that someone's learned after making their one millionth quartz mug, or some shit.

"if it's not broke, don't fix it" doesn't mean shit craftsmanship, and it certainly doesn't mean lack of innovation. After all, some things are broke, and need fixing. That which isn't simply doesn't.

>>205562

>a human who will look, feel and act as the alpha of alphas in a pack of hunting dogs

I've always hated this type of line, a bit. Same issue in that movie, Jurrasic Worlds or whatever, where the raptor trainer is somehow the "alpha".

In the wild, the alpha is usually the biggest, or the strongest, guy. Fellow what's lasted enough fights, basically, and is in charge by virtue mainly of being the toughest one there.

Humans, and that raptor guy, don't usually command a pack through strength like that. Usually there's more affection and such involved.

Humans leading the pack are beyond the alpha, as their authority is nearly always unchallenged. The human's a dear friend who has lead the pack to greatness and feast, and has helped the pack in times of trouble and pain.

That's why you catch such loyalty from human-bonded animals and packs. Loyalty far beyond that of that to an alpha animal, the kind of loyalty that gets the pack to literally sacrifice themselves for you.

Frankly, to that kind of bond, I find the term "alpha" an insult.

>>205562

I always thought that the humans greatest strength in fantasy should be domestication. No other races in fantasy really do the whole "take a wild beast, break it to you, put it to whatever task it would be best at, breed it so the best traits of its bloodline come out."

I also think it'd go a lot further than animals though. A lot of fantasy races who lack ambition (halflings), drive (elves), leadership (orcs), or culture (dwarves) would flourish and blossom under human rule, some might even flock to it.

Then again some might have to be broken into it and made slaves but after a few generations of their species thriving under human direction I doubt any one of them would want to willingly leave human protection.

of course there's always the oddballs who don't see that cooperation is best, even if it's forced, and who the best leader clearly is. but then what's life without conflict.

>>205695

It basically already happens most fantasy things I've seen. Elves and such live in their little forests, conveniently protected by human territory. Dwarves live underground, right below where the humans build their castles, even orcs and such tend to live as nomadic bandits or similar, preying off of human settlements.

I can't remember the last time I've been to anywhere major that wasn't human-dominated in a game.

Visited capitals? Sure, big nice fortresses with a little trade here and there, in the case of dwarves, pretty treehouses with plenty of long-winded craftsmen in the case of elves, but a proper city? Bustling with trade and commerce? The sounds of thousands of families living together? The constant clang and chatter of local industry? Not a one that I can think of.

>>205519

>>205555

Elves , Dwarves , and Orks can't check these Trips OP.

Hahahahah. Of course this thread became a Humanity Fuck Yeah thread.

>>205579

So, is this what happened in both Warhammer verses?

>>205695

Wouldn't >>205693 be a good example of Dwarves and their culture? It sounds like they lack something else.

>>205697

Humans are the industrious ones, and for better or for worse, the cosmopolitans.

>suddenly gets the mental image of a Sea Elf Venice or Bangkok-type city

Hmmm…

>>205695

I get it, you're talking about black people.

>>205547

Digging that happy windmill of friendship in the sun right there

>>205833

I remember some German scientist cut a hole into his artery put a wire in and pushed it through his blood system and into his FUCKING HEART where he then went to the X-ray room and he said

>"Hey guys look what I did".

>>205907

Heh.

If humanity had a catch phrase it would probably be "Hey guys watch this!" followed by doing something dangerous or stupid.

>>205519

The human blandness is because DnD refuses to fucking flesh out some notable human quirks when doing every race book. I swear the "some humans do this some humans do that" bullshit is a copypasta they put into every god damned section in race relations instead of typing something out.

The net result is a bland and uninteresting race, yeah yeah Humans are the baseline but more often then not I find myself wanting because they don't bother to lay out notable interactions with certain kinds of cultures that may pop up. I end up using stuff like paizo's campaign supplement that actually fleshes out the human cultures in it's setting or other clearly defined cultures in other game books cause it gives me some meat and grit to work with.

>>205712

Pretty much. Dwarves and elves are fading, and humanity is looking forward to inheriting their shit.

>>205924

4e finally fleshed out humanity; a bit of action-hero daring and extreme variety and adaptability compared to other races, and also being very easily influenced. (which also shows up in Warhammer; more humans fall under the sway of Chaos than any race other than maybe Skaven) The lack of a racial stereotype kinda means they can be found anywhere, doing anything, following any god, creed or tentacled abomination from beyond the stars, moreso than everyone else. Probably would take over the world if they weren't always fighting each other.

>>205924

I usually go with three/four different cultures for Humans per world that I make for D&D 5E:

>Culture 1:

Seafarers that are great at fishing, living in coastal areas, and and mapping. They're not great at much else, though there are some specialists in every village who train elsewhere and return to apply whatever skills they learn for the community. Their community has a strong, but usually uncontained connection to magic, making their mages erratic but devastating.

>Classes: Sorcerers, Barbarians, Fighters, Bards

>Racial interactions: Set-Fey (Sea-Elves, similar to Merfolk, but more mer than mer), Gnomes (Due to their specialists and tinkerers ), Dragonkin (Seafaring Dragonborn that are descendants/creations of Long-type dragons.)

>Culture 2:

Land Dwellers who are great at large-scale agriculture, siege/counter-siege warfare, and metalworks. Usually in the proximity of Dwarvish settlements, in order to trade ingots for supplies. When there is no supply of ingots, they make their own. They train strong and dependable warriors, but lack the sea power to assist in total control.

>Classes: Fighters, Clerics, Rangers, Rogues, Wizards

>Racial interactions: Dwarves (Dwarves are the universal constant), Hobbits (They taught man how to farm, introduced the Havingir script/language, which over time became Common), Tiefs (Tieflings are still human, no matter how big their horns are), Muel-Fey (Half-Elf descendants of Mont-Fey and Humans. They cannot breed with any other race due to their contrasting nature).

>Culture 3:

Semi-Nomadic tribes that follow the seasons. Their specialties are hunting, guerilla warfare, and animal husbandry (Because anyone can hunt and forage, but few can tame a giant lizard and train it to carry goods). Despite their supposed 'savagery' and 'laziness', they are ingeniously fast workers due to their need to deploy and reset at a moment's notice. Due to this, they have the finest rangers and druids.

>Classes: Rangers, Druids, Rogues, Barbarians, Sorcerers

Racial interactions: Wol-Fey (Wood Elves. They're not called that due to their living spaces. Their skin is rough and tough like bark. They also herd giant treant forests and use them as homes and fortifications), Elshwejri (Jackal-headed 'men' that settle on the forests bordering the savannahs they call home. Originally from an Australia-like land called Elshwejr), Half-Orcs (Feudal Japan-like Orcs love to fuck humans. They're also quite industrious and masters of making use of what little iron their lands have.)

>Race 4:

A studious race that live among the Mont-Fey, which gave rise to the Muel-Fey race. Within the mountain ranges, it is easier to contact their gods due to the closeness to the heavens. Their greatest refuge is at the base of the Nose of the World, where the air is thin and where the quiet can be maddening if one is left alone. Monks train within their halls, where they believe enlightenment should be with a strong body and even stronger mind.

>Classes: Monks, Clerics, Paladins, Druids, Warlocks

>Racial Interactions: Mont-Fey (Mountain Elves. There is no elf higher than they), Dwarves, Min-Quor (Similar to Twi-Leks and whatever the fuck Tamiyo the Moon Sage is. Closest lore-wise is the Devas), Eldrein (Ethereal Elf-like people who live further up mountain without any problem. Their entire body can respire air and moisture (Their face holes still take in air and water, but this form of respiration assists their low-oxygen climate), and they rarely eat. But when they do, it's a feast.)

>>205950

And this is why I hate D&D. So many half human stuff, so much half assed faggotry so many stupid races who fall into stupid stereothipes.

Iron Kingdom is marginally better, at least dwarves have no stinking beards and elves are no treehuggers. And there are no frigging greenskinned orcs, were the big tankish guy class is instead occupied by trollkins and ogres. Not really incredible original but at lease different from tolkenian shit.

>>205961

>So many half human stuff

Who said that all Half-Race = Half-Human?

(To be fair, I said Human, because I was centralising my point on Humans. There are other Muel-Fey that are Half-[Other Race] However, all Half-Orcs are humans/dwarves. Fey-Orcs just equal Orcs (Their appearances are similar, less-stocky, but the genetics continue onwards))

>dwarves have stinking beards

To be fair, I'm only using Dorf as a universal constant because of a major influence through Dorf Fort

>elves are no treehuggers.

My elves aren't treehuggers. Wood Elves especially. They don't care for any other tree except their Treant, since those don't move and are not their home. Would you not want to protect your home?

>frigging greenskinned orcs, were the big tankish guy class is instead occupied by trollkins and ogres.

Stereotypically, you see Polynesians as the big stocky guys, Asians as smart, Europeans as dominant, and Africans as war-like. There will always be those who go against the grain, but that's what you usually see. Also, my orcs are grey-skinned, like Dunmer.

>tolkenian shit

That's because the D&D team is catering to their demographic of "My First RPG" and "I wanna be Legolas" crowd. Personally, I'd rather be playing something like Deadlands or CP2020, but that's what my players want.

>>205963

>My elves aren't treehuggers. Wood Elves especially

Are they Balkanized Slavic elves?

>>205965

Yes.

>Balkanised

They have large 'herding clans' that have overlapping claims across the forests, marking their territories by rock and tree formations, or by growing and maintaining differently-blooming trees.

>Slavic

Not exactly. They do make great guerilla fighters and make extensive use of the elements as a weapon.

>>205974

Do they squat? If they do they're slavic for sure.

Aso in the Witcher videogames there are not enough squatting characters.

>>205976

Ah least the eat enough oats, right?

>>205833

Right, so what's stopping the other races from being capable of this as well? Elves and dwarfs are barely less industrious and determined than humans, and orcs are more capable of performing great feats of strength for longer.

You seem to be praising humans for being humanoids, when by definition almost all of the other civilized races are humanoids as well.

>>205993

They're capable, but I've never heard of any other race doing half the crazy shit we do, apart from goblins

>>205997

Are you surprised that a fantasy race doesn't get as many interesting real-life stories as the humans?

There's fuckloads of stories of elves and dwarfs going to hell and back (in Jon Irenicus's case he went to several hells). I'd probably say that, in any fantasy setting, there are more extraordinarily durable nonhumans than there are extraordinarily durable humans.

What about thermoregulation? One of the most prominent features of humans in the animal kingdom is our ability to get rid of superflous body heat by sweating. While there are other species capable of sweating, humans are the best at it - to the point that most other species need to stop running or other physical exercize because their bodies are overheating, whereas humans are primarly limited by their own energy reserves.

Alternatively, why not make it a cutural-technological thing. Maybe Elves may have the best magic and dwarves have the strongest armor, but how about giving humans the best (al)chemists? Imagine the horror of the elves once the seemingly inferior humans start bombarding their precious forests with the fantasy equivalent of Agent Orange, while the dwarves' heavily fortified subterranean fortresses help them little when the humans start flooding them with toxic gas. And then there's stuff like flamethrowers, blackpowder weapons - anything that goes boom.

>>206002

>What about thermoregulation? One of the most prominent features of humans in the animal kingdom is our ability to get rid of superflous body heat by sweating. While there are other species capable of sweating, humans are the best at it - to the point that most other species need to stop running or other physical exercize because their bodies are overheating, whereas humans are primarly limited by their own energy reserves.

Elves don't sweat. Ergo, to avoid overheating they have to cool down by panting like dogs.

>>206004

Elves suddenly got a lot more lewd again.

>>206001

The other kind of crazy; in the immortal words of Raiden, "batshit insane"

>>206002

Dwarves generally get blunderbusses and steam engines if technology is allowed to progress, though alchemy may have a point for humans. Where Dwarves are masters of quantitative inorganic material, and elves are masters of herbs and spices and general qualitative cooking, we do both in equal measure.

Potions and health restoring bread come from elves, fire bombs and acid etched mithril chainmail come from dwarves, humans made steel skin potions and poison mortar.

>>206197

Hidf go home

>>205525

Speaking about the criticisms about humans not being diverse, I find that, like with all races, you can mix and match ethnicity, upbringing to get what kinds of results you want.

Also, is there more of that qt?

>>206465

The Asari's psychic breeding is a powerful talent and one that humanity would greatly abuse if it had a way to take it for its own, but Asari are drastically hindered by the massive unbreakable stick that is jammed up all of their asses at birth.

Also, they've got all kinds of problems with just going fucking nuts and killing people after they become psychic vampires.

>>206467

That can only happen with pureblooded Asari, so Humanity would consider it a requirement to fuck outside of the species. Interestingly not all possible Ardat-Yahkshi (or however you spell it) are locked up, like the one who got send to Triptree and made one of her fellow Huntresses who fled with Joker's sister flip her shit. And they don't seem to be particularly common or anything. I do agree with the stick up their ass thing, but that's what you get from being the equivalent to space elves.

>>205519

>>absolutely no flavor, boring as dicks

Some of us don't hate ourselves, and are not genetic rejects, so we don't feel the need to fall into furfaggotry or otherkinism as an escape from the harsh reality of the mirror.

Vote Gnoll and stfu.

>>206469

So how did the Assari deal with the pureblood psychic vampire shit before they figured space travel? Were they more accepting of it? Did they do some Hitler shit? we're they fucking local wildlife to dilute the gene pool?

>>206532

Probably they'd get their Castlevania on and hunt the fuckers down.

>>206465

Unless we're throwing evolution entirely out of the window, Asari obviously universally engaged in bestiality before space travel. You don't evolve the ability to have sex with everything by accident. ME2 even says Asari-Asari unions are taboo, despite there being city-planets with hundreds of billions of Asari inhabitants, so the bestiality presumably continues.

>>205585

> faggot

> not liking dicks

>>206567

Sounds like a pretty viable strategy to me; especially since they seem to retain their vague super-psychic-bullshit-female genetic characteristics regardless.

Interact with a species worth breeding? A pile of weird dicks and a few generations later the Asari have assimilated every unique positive trait worth having, and in the process established themselves diplomatically.

They're like a race of parasitic semen-demons, literally.

Fuck yeah.

>>206567

>company of SJWs

>creates race of sexy aliens that necessarily fuck alien dogs

I don't know whether or not they thought this through.

>>206602

Now that's a magical realm.

>>206602

They weren't socjus until part way through 2. Notice how it goes from space opera in science'verse Tropeland into pewpew chest-high-cover on rails adventure #47.

>>205780

A dwarf, left on his own, will make the same axe the same way for 200 years then pass the technique onto his son so he can make the same axe for 200 years.

What dwarves really need is innovation. human ingenuity that gives them new things to craft outside of the same axe that they are building the same way their fathers and grandfathers and great great great dwarffather built it.

they might grumble about tradition but they are craftsmen at heart and love being given a new task

>>206350

I wish we had an archive of that thread. there was more good content in it than that post.

>>206642

I think that Dwarves don't mind new challenges, as long as they keep the old ones. They wouldn't mind building blunderbusses, gyrocopters, break-action cannons and automated beard braiders, but they want to make their axes and hammers and armor just like their great-great grandfathers have done.

>>206647

I like this. I was doing something similar-ish in my world (it started from the idea that different species and cultures had different religions and conflicting creation myths, none of this one true universal pantheon boring FR garbage), but now I'm going to be taking a number of ideas from this post. Thank you.

>>206647

that is a very good explanation for how fantasy worlds can be permanently stuck in medieval times.

>>206647

A lot of the older Mythologies had creation myths that say that forces like time and chaos itself birthed the beings that birthed the Gods, implying that there are forces beyond the powers of the omnipotent.

In your explanation, that makes humans the spawn of Natural Cosmic Chaos. Something much older and far stronger than any God. To rise up from the wilderness and thrive where even the children of Gods fail.. That's some HFY shit, to be sure.

>>206647

A fantasy setting ERRANT STORY did some stuff related to that.

Humans showed up and the elves went "IDK…ummm I guess you could stay with us" and then they discover humans help with their fertility problems

Human half breeds had seriously fd up problems but the half breed template was the only one that could take the power of their gods

>>206817

I think people don't know what "different species" mean in fantasy settings.

>>205519

Risen apes are pretty impressive. We have achieved things no other species on this earth has, even if some of that was luck.

In fact we are so awesome that all the other races are tweaked humanoids. A tall, lanky humanoid with tweaked ears. A small, squat humanoid with tweaker ears. Even smaller humanoids with hairy feet.

Green, burly humanoids. Rocks with, albeit warped in ferocity, still humanoid faces.

Without us and our imagination the other races you put so much above us wouldn't even exist.

>>206647

Your post reminded me of a passage I read a couple of months ago in Thomas F. Madden's New Concise History of the Crusades.

And it goes as follows:

For a thousand years after the death of the Prophet, the Dar al-Islam, the Islamic world, continued to wage jihad successfully against the Dar al-harb, the abode of war. In that time Muslim armies conquered three-quarters of the Christian world, despite the efforts of generations of crusaders to halt or turn back the relentless advance. An impartial observer at the time might well have concluded that Christendom was a doomed remnant of the ancient Roman Empire, destined to be supplanted by the more youthful and energetic religion and culture of Islam. Yet that observer would have been wrong. Within Europe new ideas were brewing that would have dramatic and unprecedented repercussions not just in the Mediterranean, but across the entire world. Born out of a unique blend of faith, reason, individualism, and entrepreneurialism, those ideas produced a rapid increase in scientific experimentation with immediately practical applications. These included such world-changing devices as the printing press, gunpowder weaponry, and oceangoing vessels. By the seventeenth century European wealth and power was growing exponentially. Europeans were entering a new and unprecedented age.

It is one of the most remarkable events in history that the Latin West, an internally divided region seemingly on the brink of conquest by a powerful empire, suddenly burst forth with amazing new energy, neutralizing its enemies and expanding across the globe. Amazingly, the specter of advancing Muslim armies, which for centuries had posed such danger, no longer constituted a serious threat. Indeed, as the gaze of Europeans spanned new global horizons, they soon forgot that such a threat had existed at all. The Muslim world was no longer viewed as a dread enemy, but simply one more backward culture. From that perspective the medieval crusades seemed distant and unnecessary—a discarded artifact from the childhood of a civilization.

>>206465

To continue on the Mass Effect thing, here's a quote on an in-universe porn magazine:

>Launched in 2167, the human-published magazine presents the galaxy with raunchy pictures of models from various races. With a predominance of unisexual asari models the publication also depicts both male and female quarians, drell, batarians, volus, and even hanar. By its fifth year Fornax became the first human magazine to offer full five-sensory stimulation. It has a monthly publishing of 127 million and is available both in hard-copy and for direct download. Specialty editions such as Genit-elcor and Krogasm service devoted but smaller markets.

For those of you not versed in the ways of Mass Effect, Asari are the generic blue-skinned space babes, Quarians are stuck in environmental suits because they're allergic to everything and their women have dem hips, Drell are lizard people who tend to walk mostly bare-chested because of problems with breathing humid air and have excrete a substance from their skin that will get you high as fuck upon ingestion, Batarians are four-eyed vaguely pig-like North Koreans who hate humanity with a passion, Volus are mole-people merchants who have to wear suits that mimic the environment of Venus and will EXPLODE without them, Hanar are jellyfish with tentacles with a thickness just perfect for penetrating orifices, Elcor are elephant-like who talk like a mix of HK-47 and Eeyore and Krogan are a mix of Orcs, camels and T.rexes.

Also, note the date. 2167 is 10 years after humanity joined the galactic theatre. Before them there was more than two millenia where all these people were around in some way or form, but it took until Humanity for them to figure out that a full array of xenophilic porn would make a fuckton of money. Given that you can buy an issue in-game (but not read it unfortunately) for 5 credits, that is 635 million credits made PER MONTH. That's a very large amount of money for a porn magazine. All thanks to good ol' human horniness.

Certain fans have taken it to themselves to make a real-life version filled with fan art of the series. It can be downloaded for free if you know where to look.

>>207045

> It can be downloaded for free if you know where to look.

Not posting a link

for shame anon, for shame.

>>207080

The real shame would be spoonfeeding.

>>207142

the concept of spoonfeeding is bullshit, especially on a board where you want others to discuss the content you are talking about. otherwise you just look like an elitist dick and should go back to >>>/am/

just sayin.

>>207080

Well here you go. Have a nice wank.

fornaxmag.blogspot.com

>>207145

Have you learned nothing from 2015? We should be more elitist. Barriers of entry are essential for maintaining post quality. You don't want to go back to elf slave wat do 24/7 do you?

>>207148

Thank you, I found the site shortly after posting >>207080 - but I appreciate the courtesy.

>>207167

There is always one way to defuse the specific threat of newfags obsessed with their "ELF SLAEV WAT DO?" bullshit.

You make it utterly disgusting. We go into those threads and we start describing the sort of scene that would make the most hardened /d/eviant vomit all over their gurololifurryfuta action figures.

It will not be fun, but aside from killing such threads pretty swiftly there is also a chance that it just might condition the little fucknuggets to feel their own body punching them, repeatedly, in the dick if they even think about shitposting in the future.

In theory that should also work as a way to fumigate other forms of newfaggotry, but it would be a lot less organic and feel at least a little forced.

>>207181

That totally has no chance of backfiring at all.

Infinity next should have a month long mandatory lurking period before you can even post

>>205519

Also: How are Elves and Dwarves (as Role Played) different from humans?

Gnomes or Halflings?

Tieflings or Dragonpeople?

Etc?

>>207193

Elves are made from crystal, slow growing and beautiful

Dwarves are made from stone, unyielding and can be formed to strong metal

Men are made of clay, soft or solid and can be made into any form

Orcs are made of mud, there will always be mud and it can be formed to bricks easily

>>207181

>elf slave what do

>a newfag thing

bruv, are you fucking retarded? I will fight you on this, because every time you try to make posting elf titflesh "disgusting" I will post vanilla lewd elf twice more in response. If you post your /d/eviant screed all over the board I will happily meet that challenge with more vanilla sexytime lewds. Why? Because I've seen what happens when a board goes full retard and snuffs out its own soul to gentrify its content.

If what you want is a board where lewd is disgusting and banworthy than go back to half/tg/ because I didn't make the migration here just so I could watch us succumb to another form of thought policing but on the puritan right this time. I will stand up against bullies on either side against creative freedom and our ability to say whatever the fuck we want without either sjw puritans or hard right anti-deviant crusaders stepping on our neck.

I mean do we really need to be fucking shaking in our boots thinking of ways to sabotage our own board because we're absolutely afraid of some new people? Are we that unwilling or just plain lazy to deal with some newbies and make them assimilate? and your idea to combat this "shitposting" is to shitpost so hard the board makes anyone trying to read it physically ill? are you really so afraid that you'd shit all over yourself just to spite other posters?

Also how the unholy slaneeshi fuck is 'elf slave what do' a newfag thing to you? or how is it that you think thats something newfags would even care about? the more I read your post to counter the pure wrongness of it the more I'm baffled by the notions it contains. It's like looking at an Escher painting in text form. I follow one logical staircase to realize I'm on the wrong gravitational plane

I'm still here typing words because I cannot express enough how terrible an idea this is. The idea that you need to somehow scare off "newfags" by making the board experience worse for everyone is just so fucking terrible that you have triggered my autism and I cannot stop murdering my keyboard in response. I imagine this post is going to be paragraphs long but could be condensed down to "don't be a fuckwit, that's a terrible idea".

adaptability.

humans can regulate their own body temperatures, control their heart rates, control their immune systems, can survive in nearly any environment, have a wide array of philosophies that suit their various needs and ensures the entire herd doesnt die out for stupid reasons like dwarves always seem to do, can eat anything from tree bark to congealed flesh, can outrun most prey animals and are in constant competition with each other which breeds hardy and successful people.

>>205539

neither is good for health and performance

both are jacked up on weird chemicals

>>207258

How would you treat this in the game?

>>207279

game?

>>207282

DnD, Pathfinder, Whatever-the-Fuck-You-Play 2.0, and so on.

>>207283

I'm only here for the porn threads

>>206746

Yeah, I was going for that being strongly implied.

>>207167

Post quality is an oppressive patriarchal construct

>>206197

Gah, Fucking Damnit! Someone already used this picture! Fuck. That's what I get for not reading shit.

>>205540

Holy shit I have never read a more amazing "human" story.

>>207201

So not fucking at all

>>207319

Come on, in a thread titled "Fuck Humanity." it was only a matter of time before someone posted that pic.

>>207193

Elves and dwarves as in >>205537.

In the Tolkien definition Halflings live the rural British live of eating, chillin' and taking pipe weed to be 420 blazin' it while they mind their cattle who are 420 grazin' it.

In the D&D 3e definition they're travelers. As in the horse and wagon cart, camping where they can and occationally hitting a town where they are kept out of for being thought of as thieving scum. Sometimes this is true though. Their creation myth is intersting though: their goddess Yondalla saw all the OC races that the other gods had made and took the best parts of them to make her own OC, Halflings (do not steal). The other gods found out about this and called her out on her shit, cursing the Halflings to forever wander without a home of their own and Yondalla had to purge herself of all the negative parts in her so she became a 100% LG goddess of protection, kindness, the home, hearth, happiness, friendship, good eatin' and being thick in all the right places.

However, the darkness in her survived and took a new form: Dallah Thaun. Where Yondalla was the light, Dallah Thaun was the shadow. Where the one acted in the open to protect, the other worked in the shadows to serve the light. Long story short: ever wondered how so many Halflings are rogues despite their goddess being LG? Dallah Thaun's your answer. Yondalla and Dallah Thaun are quite close, working together to protect the Halflings. If they are fucked with on a large scale Yondalla will tend to the survivors while Dallah Thaun seeks out the transgressor and fuck their shit up. Dallah Thaun is virtually unknown by non-Halflings, and they keep their mouths shut about her to the tall folk.

Gnomes on the other hand are short elves with Dwarvish tendencies for technology, though they prefer to make gizmos and gadgets as well as combining them with magic to create magitech stuff. They're also way into art.

Gnomes are schizophrenic – are they hippy fairy folk or are they badass golem riders?

>>205519

>common as rats

Rats are pretty Fuck Yeah.

I mean a K-type species generally doesn't get "common" by being boring or ineffective.

>>207557

Both. They preach peace and love while riding on their murdergolems (which have flowers painted on them).

>>205696

>Humans are, for some odd reason, a bunch of sexual deviants. We've had stories of sticking dick in strange things since the first man found himself in an empty, quiet cave.

And we will continue to do so even in the empty quiet of space.

[Chat session started. This chat has been made possible by TitanExo machinery: Mecha suits for every occation.]

Hey Brian.

>Sup, Steve? Had a nice Christmas?

Yeah, we got together with all the humans on the station to celebrate it. Couple of us brought dates as well. Sally had to explain to her Chlaniso date why we did not kill Jesus on sight the moment he returned from the dead. You know what those Chlaniso are like regarding their dead.

[Advertisement: Christmas Craze Behind: 7 Amazing Tips to Lose All That Weight]

>Fuck, don't start about it. Had a discussion with one of those for like a full week right before the holidays to "correctly portray the nuances of the Chlaniso funeral rites".

Don't they eat their dead or something?

>Yeah, but they're very prudish about it and it has to be talked about in the most verbose and flowery of language. He can go eat my ass for all I care.

Yeah, something like that's what I called about though. You still work for Interxenos Affairs, right? On the Xenoculture for Humans Handbook? I might have an addition to that entry.

>The XHH, yes. Sure, lemme hear what you got.

[Advertisement: The Xenoculture for Humans Handbook. Information on all intelligent species numbering at least 5 million living (or close approximation thereof) members and the most common non-intelligent ones. Access is 15 credits per 30 day cycle.]

Well, you know what a Safluan is?

>You mean those walking lampreys, right?

Yeah. You see, I work with one here in the clinic on the Zallif IV station. She mostly handles the more aquatic of people that show up. Wrapping those tentacles sticking from her main body together she's able of quite some fine manipulation.

>Got the XHH entry here. Yeah, that's pretty basic stuff, what do yo-oh no. Please tell me you didn't.

I think I did. Well, the two of us get along great, so I invited her to the Christmas party. Of course I read up on the do's and don'ts in advance. I'm not stupid. So everything goes fine, though Mike and Xtháll freaked out when she demonstrated how big she can make herself with all those tentacles.

>You're a fucking weirdo, Steve.

Fuck off. So all went well and we walked home, hitting my place first. She herself asked if she could come in, which was kinda new for me. We ended up on the couch and, well…

>You stuck your fucking dick in her.

[Advertisement: Half-Millenia Music, the songs you'd have heard 500 years ago. Including the revived hit song: Dick In A Box. 2 credits for this song, or 20 for the whole 15 song album.]

>>207688

Not really. Safluans don't have sexual organs, or even erogenous zones. They reproduce by kissing, then the male shoves an insemination tube into the female's body to fertilize her eggs, which are coughed up at a later point. So they don't fuck for fun, but they do tangle together as a more extreme form of cuddling. Hell, I know she gets all flustered if I even mention words like "tangle", which has all sorts of sexual connotations amongst the Safluans. And kissing one out of the blue is like dick-slapping a human.

>So you didn't stuck your dick in her. What's it like to be sidelined by a lamprey, Steve?

Oh go eat a dick. Anyway, the central body of a Safluan is where all the bodily functions happen, but there's something of a nudity taboo to them showing it off so they keep it all wrapped up in their tentacles. She pretty much wrapped herself around me and dragged me to my bed, where she moved some of her tentacles near her central body to create a hole-like thing that I could thrust into.

>Way too much fucking information. Get to the point already.

Alright. So the thing is while cuddling she pretty much opened those mouth-flaps of her and wrapped them around my head. If she hadn't fold her teeth in she'd have scalped me for sure, but it was kinda nice, getting such a full-face kiss. Thing is, we had both read that the ingestion of human semen fucks with the Safluan brain chemistry, making them have an euphoric feeling like they got an orgasm of sorts. And that's the point: it was the fucking understatement of the era.

>How so?

Well, she had tested herself for allergy to humans beforehand, but she didn't try the jizz thing. Turns out, it gives them something like a mix between an orgasm, a spastic attack and a shot of horse tranquilizer in one go. She fucked up my room, knocking stuff over and shredding clothes, I had a few lashes I had to treat with a low dose of BodyFix, but that was only me. After she was done… well, she was a dead weight for an hour or so, convulsing and muttering. I considered calling a medic, but it turned out she was high as fuck.

>Well ain't that something. Sure this wasn't a fluke?

Well uh… this wasn't the only time we did it. Hell, when she got to she immediately latched on and wanted another load, but she'd pretty much sucked me dry. So she insisted on staying over. So the next morning I had wood and she jumped at the oppertunity.

>Must've been fun a lamprey cock sock.

It got worse. She invited me over to her place two days after for dinner. She had made some killer penne, and you know how much I love pasta. But when we were done… well, she jumped my dick again.

[Advertisement: Pastas of all kinds: the ideal food to seduce your human partner/date/sexual liason/seed repository/egg hatchery. Sixteen different recipies within!]

>Look if you just want to brag about how much you're getting your dick sucked I'm calling it quits.

No man, it's serious. A few days later she offered to go in the back room for some fun, but at that point it was getting worrisome. So I forced her to take some tests, a few scans, and I was correct: she got addicted.

>Now you're just making shit up.

No really. I checked and the brain reacted in the same way as a Safluan addicted to their equivalent of coke, with some increased sexual urges as well. I also checked for pregnancy, but there was nothing there thankfully.

>Oh Jesus fuck that's so you. Find an alien chick and get her addicted to your jizz.

Don't laugh. She's a sweet girl but having her constantly hang from my dick is kinda tiresome, even if it's the best fucking blowjob I will ever have.

>Okay look. When I get back to work I'll look into it, set some wheels into motion and see what I can dig up. But if this turns out to be you talking out of your ass only the blood ants from a Zharis'la hive can clean you up.

I'm not, and- wait, hold up. Oh fuck, it's her at the door again. Gotta go!

>Goddamn it, Steve.

[Chat session ended. This chat was made possible by the Osbourne Rehab Facility, for all your treatments regarding exposure to exotic substances and drug rehabilitation.]

>>207689

post more

>>207688

>>207689

You are a saint, anon.

more

>>207739

Owning an elf slave is a death sentence for your culture, or family's future.

After the first generation, the elf can effectively take control of your family.

It's just a bad move. As someone's already addressed in a post. I say, while you shouldn't kill all elves, enslaving them is flatly idiotic.

>>207715

>>207716

Aw shucks. Thanks you two. Here's more:

[Welcome to XHHnet. Please provide credentials.]

''[ID: BAnderson Pass: ****]

''[Welcome, Brian. Please select an option.]

[Open last viewed. View attachment: FlanaasTestimonyFinal.holodoc]

[Opening document… Finding last view…]

You mean Kyle? Yeah, we work over at the drydock, fixing up small freighters. He's good at his work, but he's constantly asking questions. No, not about work, about the people getting their ships fixed up. Management says we can't be too chatty with the customers, so I have to go in great depth about why the Zalphez need reinforced toilets or why the Gaaras despise having smooth ceilings close above their heads. Yeah, it's because of their flat heads.

Anyway, he's a good guy. Quick on the uptake, pretty funny. Often tells stories about Earth and their ways. Some folk think it's scary to have humans run all over the place after only 86 years [Note: translated into human years.], but they're far less violent or allergy inducing as some other folks are. Yeah, I know about their reputation. I'm a Flanaas, remember? Shifters tend to have that reputation as well. He was kinda quick to adapt to me as well. Well yeah, I prefer a Parasut form. The extra thumbs and long limbs are very useful with repairs, and while I'm not all that tall in that shape I can easily climb to reach the more difficult to reach spots on a ship. Kyle knows I'm a Flanaas, yes, but I don't shift all that much in front of him to be honest. Sometimes I go for a longer limb to pick something up I can't reach, but that's all.

So we've been working together for a bit and he invited me out for drinks after the shift. Well… I didn't have a reason to say no. He was a charming guy and not a lot of people are interested in us aside from having a fun fuck. So we went for drinks, which turned into dinner, which ended up with me over at his place. Must've been the mood though. Flanaas can't get drunk on human alcohol: our bodies break down ethanol at an incredible speed. Anyway, to be honest I had looked into human mating practices and what is attractive to human standards. Yeah, I know that they'd gladly fuck a Dharosian Mud Man, but still.

So he hauled me to his bed, I ended up on top of him and I asked him how he'd like me. You tend to learn a lot about people going by the favorite form of their sexual partners. I showed off a few attractive humans: one with large curves and an impressive mane of blond hair, a slightly chubby redhead with those blemishes… freckles, right? One of the people from their Asian, uh, what was it again? Empire? I tried one of their dark-skinned women but Kyle didn't seem all that impressed. So I tried the more conventional aliens: a tentacle-headed Langosian, an Uthlas weaning mother with the two-dozen breasts, a many-mouthed Qwarti'la and even a quadrupedal Tholasti hound. Instead he wanted me to turn into the real me. I tried my Parasut form, but he declined and kissed me in the neck. He wanted to se my true, Flanaas form.

Yes, that was my reaction as well. A bit less constrained maybe, but still. I mean, what the fuck kind of question is that? I can cater to any fetish you can imagine and he wanted me not to? It was bizarre. He saw my confusion and thought he offended me so he appologized. Instead I stood up, looked at him and asked if he was sure. Both he and his dick said yes, so I gave it a shot. Well, you know what a Flanaas in their natural form looks like, yes? About this high [Subject indicates height of about 1.5 human meters.], perfect white skin, dark eyes that are twice the size of that of a human, next to no facial features, no mammaries to speak of but hips wide enough to account for our generally large heads. Gentials? Well… not quite a cloaca, but it's close. Well fuck, it had been years since I last wore that form.

>>207873

Anyway, Kyle looked at me in my natural form, eyeing me up. I thought I already knew what was going to happen and wanted to call it quits. Instead he grabbed onto me and pulled me onto his bed. He told me I was beautiful and kissed me. After that… look, before I took my current job I was a professional for hire. Yes, that kind of profession. Hey, I'm 219 years old, we all have our scarred faces. [Translated from Flanaas idiom. Closest human equivalent: having skeletons in your closet.] I've taken a platoon of Ygrahis hunters- yes, the guys that excrete a pleasure-enhancing drug from their dicks. Anyway, I took them, I've tussled with a Phalostan diplomat and his dick with its non-euclidean curves- look, don't jerk one off. Your mind won't handle it. Even took a three-pronged seed distributor from a Vergelas. Yes, all in the same hole. Can I goon now? Anyway, I have had all that but having a human dick like that in my natural shape… well let's just say I wanted seconds. And thirds. Yes, Kyle knew what he was doing, and I was enjoying myself a LOT. I'd have wanted a fourth go if not for the fact he needed a rest. I'm lucky my species can regulate when we get pregnant, otherwise I'd be carrying a half-human baby for sure.

But after we were done he said something incredibly silly. He told me that it didn't matter what I looked like, he liked me for who I am and not what shape I looked like. I laughed in his face. Yeah, that turned out to be a misunderstanding. Turned out that personality over looks matter a lot to humans, and that by wanting me in my natural form to have sex he'd show me he was interested in me as a person rather than a shape. I told him that what he said made about as much sense as selecting a partner based on what kind of socks they wear. I mean, no matter what shape I'm in I'm still me. Humans have this strange hangup when it comes to looks and personality: Kyle told me it's looks for fun and personality for something deeper. I joked he must've meant the second one given how deep he had already gone, but he got all serious about it. Heh, talk about awkward. I simply shut him up with a kiss and told him that if he wanted something deeper than fun he'd have to give me fun by going deeper.

Yeah, that's how we ended up in a relationship three years ago. I think he's considering asking me to move in with him. Yeah, if he does I'm probably going to say yes. Hey, I'm not getting any younger. We both got about the same remaining lifespan left, and it'd be nice to have burying someone not be a certainty. He's sweet, inventive and the sex is amazing. We've tried a few other forms since, but somehow we keep getting back to my Flanaas form. Hey, if he can give me at least a triple orgasm every time we have sex he's the one in charge.

No problem. Just make sure it's anonymous when it gets into your handbook, okay? Alright. Now I got a question for you. I saw Kyle look up something about rings the other day. Didn't look like anything we use in our work though. What's the importance of rings in human culture?

[Document end.]

[Suggested changes noted. Save in Same, New or Cancel?]

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[User logged out.]

Mah that's just the white humans. The rest are on point.

We cannot know what humanity's "shtick" is until we actually find another civilized species that's similar enough to us to not be completely alien, AKA probably never. Humans are boring in fantasy settings because all other races are humans with extra shit on top due to all writers being humans, not because we're actually unspecialized generalists.

Just compare us to every other great ape and all the other species we know of that are highly intelligent or may be sentient (dolphins, certain species of octopi, elephants, dogs which is mostly our doing, ravens etc.) and you can safely expect that any alien species we find is even more different from us.

>>207740

Not if you train/condition both family and elf correctly.

>>208378

>nonwhites have special powers

>nonwhites are less common

>nonwhites live for centuries

>nonwhites use anything other than pointy sticks

>nonwhites have more flavor than whites

Nigger are you absolutely retarded?

>>208519

>nonwhites are less common

Are you? Or are those eastern assholes white now?

>>208574

Nice taste in theme

The reason why fantasy is pretty gay is because there are actually people who think "I want to be a scotsman, except he's freakishly short" or "I want to be a human, except I have pointed ears and live forever and am better at everything".

>>208623

They are incapable of the seven sins.

Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride they are born without.

This is not necessarily a good thing. The seven virtues can be just as deadly.

Chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, patience, kindness, and humility. Brought to their logical conclusions whole continents will burn, gods purged, species buried alive.

Where humanity is prone to enacting clockwork orange, elves are forever trapped by clockwork.

I'd go into further detail but fuck me I'm tired.

>>208625

Go into further detail tomorrow. I know you are suggesting a greater idea behind your metaphor but saying they are trapped by clockwork suggests they are machines - what differentiates them from robots?

>>208676

Different anon, but like most fae I would think they are bound by rules beyond simple societal taboos and mores. These rules are a fact of existence to them.

Humans IRL

>tough as nails for their size/weightclass

>enduring (in terms of exhaustion) as fuck

>adaptable

>evolved to maximize sexual pleasure and intimacy

>best swimmer out of any animal that is supposed to be a non-amphibian mamal (not counting Platypus)

>overcame the fucking downside that is higher intelligence and made it one of their strong points

etc

You don't see the special abilities because you already see them as the baseline.

>>208457

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/40745299/

Thread is related.

>wear and tear

>Using your Elven slaves in the salt pits

>Not using them as cherished family treasures who teach your sons the ways of courtly intrigue, courtly love and making the boy into a man.

>It's like you don't want your Elven slave to catalog the exploits of your lineage while chuckling how your great grandfather made the cutest sounds when she first had him.

>>209232

All the loyalty of a eunuch, and none of the dying!

The ones who weren't content with their lives would never rebel, because they'd never even realize they were your slave, because they'd think, no matter what, that they must be taking advantage of you, because they're "the superior lifeform."

Good old elves…

>>208690

>Practically every other fucking animal on the planet except for reptiles

>need to eat many times their body weight every day in whatever they can find just to stay alive

>strict diets

>Live short as fuck lives anyways

>minor injuries typically mean their family members will eat them alive

>humans

>don't need to eat that much

>don't need to drink that much

>can survive for weeks, if not months, on minimal food and water anyways

>can eat pretty much any fucking thing they want

>capable of building up immunities to certain poisons and toxins and diseases

>capable of killing creatures many times larger than them.

>>209273

Plus, any bastards produced will have no claim to the property, and can be raised as human while providing another pair of skillful hands.

Reminder that humans would never survive in a world with dragons.

>>209700

What's your argument?

>absolutely no flavor

Humans are either peace keepers or the greatest sheer numbers warriors in history. Humans are so hellbent on victory and slaughtering out foes that we are committed to sending thousands to death to kill hundreds of thousands. Humans are referred to in some games as "the greatest warriors in the universe." Also no special powers means you can't get fucked over by something that does that well.

>>206647

Evolution takes millions of years, not a few decades.

>>208574

>Look ma, I'm memes!

Some more:

We found out we weren't alone in 2066. Our satellites picked something up having appeared in the system, and heading our way. Some people panicked and thought we were about to be invaded. Strange messages started to get picked up, send coming from whatever it was that was approaching. Before we could figure out what it was we discovered the approaching object was a massive fleet. They stopped a reasonable distance from the planet and more messages were send. We understood few of them until a probe was send to the Verizon International Space Station with a physical message, and we saw our first aliens. From then onwards, the world changed.

Coming from a world close to ours (speaking on the galactic sale), the Tlak'klo'pu (closest phonetic trascription possible) lived on a dying world. An asteroid had struck the planet and it was falling apart. They managed to load as many people as possible onto their space-worthy vessels and left their world of birth. They were rather advanced when it came to space flight and had colonized their system, as well as several ones nearby. However, because of their perculiar biology they required several rare characteristics for a world to live on, and none of the worlds they had found met these parameters. They gathered up their people from the mainly scientific colonies and used their most powerful scanning equipment to find a home for their people. And they found one, in our system: Venus.

The Human-Tlak'klo'pu Treaty (powered by Coca Cola) was mainly an agreement between our species to allow them to colonize Venus in return for some aid in the form of raw materials. A number of groups including corporations, NGOs and countries including Greater Mexico (subsidiary of Walmart), the Tsardom of United Russia and the Empire of Brazil objected, while others like the Federated Netherlands, the Korean Union and the Kingdom of Scotland saw this as an oppertunity to grow and learn. So the aliens settled on Venus and we started to call them Venusians, mainly because humans cannot produce the same sounds as they do and call them by their own name.

Anyway, you know what they look like. 1.4 meters tall, pale skin, head located between the shoulderblades, long torso with relatively short legs, eight fingers on each hand, all four appenges can work as hands? Clever buggers when it comes to technology and fine detail work, but not very physically apt. On Venus, which will kill an unprotected human in less than a second, they thrive. However, the Venusians have to wear environmentally sealed suits if they want to go anywhere else: to space, to Earth, to one of our or their stations. Hell, I remember when the Venusian ambassador tried to fit into the Sinopec Group Research Station going around the Moon. Poor fella didn't fit. Really embarrasing that one, caused the stocks to drop quite a bit.

… yeah, I'm getting to that. Apparantly us humans look like some kind of exotic sex deity from early in Venusian history. Practically nobody worships him anymore. Their equivalent of "sticking out your neck" means something along the lines of knowing you're really attractive and more than willing to fuck. Looking up the footage of our first visual contact the Venusian spokeswoman got a bit aroused. Yes, you can see that on a Venusian. Look closer next time. And yes, I got picked as part of the cultural attaché on a diplomatic mission a year or so after the Venusians arrived. Our technology had been greatly improved by them, allowing us to make the jump between Earth and Venis in like a few days, up to a week if the positioning is bad. So we get shown around, see how things are coming along and get to meet the Venusian king and his family. Things go smoothly, we have dinner for a couple of hours (and you know how much of a bitch it is to eat through a helmet, even with the advances of the Venusians), managed to talk tech with princess Kla'plo'po'fu for a bit. She seemed to be rather facinated by the fact that I like to tinker with my stuff to make it better. She called me a "proper Venusian" even.

>>210310

So we reitre for the evening. Before I got to suit off though I had a visitor: the princess. She had been pleasant company at the table and she wanted some more, mainly regarding Earth customs. I suspected that she had been eyeballing me, and it became obvious when she began to ask if I was single. Of course I said yes! So she asked about my suit, especially the emergency underlayer we have in case the main suit tears. It was made by the Venusians in case of such an emergency, and it got adopted by us. I did note that I prefered to not wear anything under that layer because it was sweaty like fuck. Sure, if my suit was to tear I'd sit around naked, but that was a risk I was willing to take. After she heard that her hands went for the flap in my suit and opened it up, then… look, remember what I said about practically nobody worshipping that sex god anymore? Practically is the operative here. Turned out that his faith was on the rise amongst the Venusians after they found us, and the princess was one of them. The undersuit… well, you know how malleable it is and fits to your form? Yes, it's malleable enough for that. Turns out that Venusian women scream like banshees when they come though. I looked it up later and I discovered that their most sensitive erogenous zones are only partially touched by the dick of a male Venusian, and that human dicks… well, let's just say she was a lot faster and more frequent than I.

Turned out I skipped something though. Ya see, suits have certain emergecy protocols build in so you don't die without anyone noticing. Yeah, my mix of heart beat, rising temperature, violent shaking and hormonal shift set off some alarm bells, and a team was send to check in on me. So they entered and… look, you'd be surprised how far a Venusian can look away without facing away when they discovered you just blew your load in the ass of their princess, her on top of you so everyone got a good look of my emergency suit-clad dick going balls-deep into her. Hey, YOU asked, so don't get squeamish! Anyway, that caused something of a diplomatic stir, excuses were made and I got send home early on a Venusian transport vessel. Couldn't say goodbye to the princess, but she did manage to give me a nice photo of herself. Yes, naked. So on my trip home it got leaked that I fucked the Venusian princess, met with a mix of shock, embarrasment, appalment, excitement and arousal. That last one came from the captain of the transport vessel first, she got very, ah, interested in human biology. Let's just say that it was a fun trip.

Back home I was approached by the company making the emergency suits. They wanted to branch out, and I gave them an idea. So we talked, we designed, I met a few Venusians for testing the prototypes, went to Venus for some more trials and… well, let's just say it's a standard feature now. Got a pretty good percentage on the profit as well. Made me quite the name as well, with lots of appearances on the newschannels and stuff. Got quite the deal going on with that porn channel, HBO, going on. Even got to meet ol' Hefnerbot over at his mansion.

And that's the story on how I made my first billion Deurars, with a suit you can fuck a Venusian with, regardless of the gender of either of you. Some people call me a pervert or a deviant, but hey, they didn't make a billion Deurars off of a space suit that protects you while fucking an alien.

>>210310

>>210311

>Porn channel

>HBO

kek

>>210310

>send coming from whatever it was that was approaching

>and more messages were send

>until a probe was send to the

>and a team was send to check in on me

>and I got send home early

fuck this, not even going to bother actually reading this, I just used ctrl+f after seeing 2 sentences with this illiterate dipshit not knowing that the past tense of "send" is "sent".

>>209768

> le logic rational wiki maymay buzzwords xD

*tips fedora*

Because apparently this turned into an hfy thread, also not the writefag that's been posting.

When the Aul'axi met the Humans we noticed many flaws in them and they were gaining power. When the first of their Pirates became a major threat is when we went to war. Bad Idea, turns out the "flaws" we saw in Humans rage, anger, hate, greed were all useful at some point in time, I was unlucky enough to witness it. My warrior pack were given the proper brain medication to stay sane with the terrors of war (Suprisingly the only combat drugs humans use is to enhance their battle insanity). There were five of us, I was the only one that had gone past the age when you spore which caused various growths that allowed better spore production.

We had then gone into the ruins of a large colony where the humans had set Mines, we did not have any idea such things existed before that war so it killed nearly half the pack. I was foolish enough to be caught by a sniper and when the remaining of the pack who were so young they probably just grew their third appendage poor things were taken out to the membrane; I however was left alive.

"Why don't we kill the fucker"

"It's different from the others, the eggheads will probably want him alive"

I was then taken to their command center, I was unconscious for an unkown amount of time, when I awoke the Aul'axi forces were attacking. The Humans fought them off much to my disappointment, however they took a large toll from it, none of the people 'researching' me had lived and five soldiers put a bag over my Sensory organs and took me away somewhere. When they took the bags off they were in some ragtag primitive camp with only the five who took me there.

"Seems the little alien has some curves even though her head looks like a tree"

"Wait, the fuck… ? Here boobs are fucking hollow I shit you not".

The pain of having my spore pods broken open traumatize me to this day but perhaps a healer could fix it, I had gone along time without eating and my nutrient appendages started sucking air automatically in hopes of consuming the spore fruit the trees of our worlds produced.

"What the fuck is that sucking!"

"I Dare you to stick your Dick in it"

"Damn, fifteen days with no action or magazines I just might"

"She does have curves…"

"I think the researchers said those were mouths or something about consuming liquid or whatnot"

"you people are fucked up you now that, just wait thirty days when we get deployed to Alpha Centauri an we'll be getting HUMAN sexual interaction"

The Humans then went to sleep and put a bag over my head, me still winching from the pains of hunger, however one of the men got up and picked me up with his immense physical strength easily and carried me a bit off and covered my vocal glands. He then grabbed a Nutrient appendage and forcibly put it on a weird short shaped appendage of his and violently caused friction between the hollow inside of the Nutrient appendage and his appendage. It hurt but then a white fluid came out, subconsciously it was sucked in and somehow it was a viable foodstuff to Aul'axi, how would he have known that I was in need of food or that his white fluid would feed me?

He did it many times until I was well fed and full, and took me to their camp and put everything back before the others woke up.

Eventually the war ended with the peace that Humans were allowed to expand freely but they would give back the billions of Aul'axi they took hostage throughout the war. I eventually met up with the one human who fed me his liquid one day during the peace conferences and with the rough translators I got the message that I wanted to show some of the people I knew the strange human elixir. We didn't dare tell the officials as a secret source of food or resource was often exploited by us Aul'axi for awhile before telling others due to our plant like nature. When I and seven others asked he got though and agreed but had a large (Smile?) on his face and we were worried if we were asking too much but he agreed and we started consuming his white fluid that we sucked out, it is a good feeling to try and extract the liquid and you can feel it build up before spewing.

>>210393

After the peace we eventually lived together because many of the human warriors became mercenaries and I was a technician and we ended up on the same mining ship.

Other Aul'axi on board had enjoyed his fluid also but another human was on board who appeared not to have the appendage and thought it was absolutely gross but the human named "Mike" had no problem letting us feed on him in the dining hall. He didn't produce enough to sustain all of us for every meal so we took turns. Mike finds it all funny and had messaged other humans about the ability, turns out a Human ambassador was able to build relations by allowing the consumption of his fluid by the Aul'axi diplomat and many humans were wanting to take Vacations to Aul'axi worlds.

Apparently for some reason in Human space the birth rates became near zero, they actually had to start cloning technology because people refused to breed other than the poor for some reason.

>>210394

Cute, if slightly disturbing. The cadence is perfectly off and slightly obscuring, like it is translated.

>>210394

>>210393

>A race so good at sucking dick they do more damage doing that as opposed to trying to kill us

>>210372

The only buzzwords I'm seeing are coming out of you, fella.

>>210403

Considering one of my only attempts at writefaggotry I'll take it as an improvement. I may write another one later, but do they all have to be abut inter-species sexual relations because that's pretty much all I'm seeing here and I don't want to be that autistic child in the corner

>>210442

> fella

Ooh such top hat and monocle. Wow.

>>210495

Well, the subject of the thread is "Fuck humanity."

>>210551

I'm getting the feeling you'd rather inanely snark than answer the damn question.

Which, you'll notice, people tend to do in here, as opposed to what you're doing. So be the good little ass I remember from other threads and tell me why humanity couldn't pick off the great greedy lizards piecemeal.

>>210524

Endurance hunting is a thing. It wasn't used often, but if you had to, you could.

>>210565

Are you sure you didn't get lost on the way to RationalWiki?

>>210721

I too would like to hear why you said:

>>209700

>Reminder that humans would never survive in a world with dragons.

and now I'm also wondering why you refuse answer the fucking question and are instead throwing out this shitposting about rationalwiki like you got fucking triggered or some shit. either answer the question or admit humans can live in a world with dragons.

>>210721

Answer the question.

>>210724

>>210727

What is this, Stardestroyer.net? You think the real world operates on academia faggotry?

>>209700

Yes they could.

Even living in caverns like rats is still surviving.

>>210762

ok so I'm just gonna assume you're some butthurt otherkin scalie faggot who gets off to old tapes of the crocodile hunter then.

unless you have further argument to add I'm just going to say

>Reminder, that humans would completely wreck the shit out of dragons in a world with dragons. See, Monster Hunter.

>>210857

That's basically the plot of the anime GATE. It's pretty satisfying to watch a fantasy world get its shit pushed in by modern military equipment.

>>210865

Yeah, but the issue I have with GATE is it is JSDF propaganda with shitty harem rubbish thrown in between, and with a heaping helping of not-actually-moving-forward story.

Still. Watching magic faggots get torn to absolute shreds is fun.

>>210917

Isn't all that mostly true, though?

>>210917

Oh look, a fedora.

>>211536

>Compared to all other great apes, humans are pathetically weak and obscenely unfit for survival against a large predator (very low tree-climbing or running capabilities and not much physical strength to fight them off).

But from what I understand, they can continue to fight off as necessary for far longer, can't they?

>Humans are not very durable compared to their peers in the wild

I don't think that's accurate. Human healing is rather fast, and while a boar or othersuch might continue fighting despite injuries, it isn't necessarily likely to survive said injuries. Which is, if you ask me, a much more important lot.

>nd they're intelligent enough to set ambushes and feint attacks if the need arises.

So can humans, though.

> The average human mouth and digestive system is not good enough to eat and digest many breeds of poisonous plants, while there are thousands of animals that are perfectly fine with them

Yes, but many of those animals are specialist eaters. Very few from what I understand can withstand the wide variety of foods humans can.

>Being able to survive for weeks with minimal supplies is absolutely nothing, considering how much food those "minimal" supplies actually is.

Unless we're talking about smaller creatures, for the size, aren't those "minimal" supplies quite small?

>Without modern medicine, humans only live for about 40-50 years, just barely longer than the orangutan or common alligator.

True, but they also tend to, again, survive some pretty damn major injuries. Also worth noting that we have had basic medicine, as well as some levels of surgery, which further improves our injury-healing. For many creatures, a broken leg is fatal, isn't it?

I would argue the main reason that humans sit on the "top" is their adaptability, more than anything.

Tools are all well and good, sure, but ultimately, what lets us excel where other creatures fail, and further what lets us spread to nearly every corner of the world, is that adaptability and suitability.

Plus, well, tools are more of a symptom of that adaptability.

>>211543

>Supplies

Mammals naturally require a shit ton of energy, at least compared to reptiles.

Active animals require a shit ton of energy, at least compared to slow moving animals.

Hot mammals require a shit ton more energy than cold adapted animals.

The bigger the brain, the more energy is required.

I don't have figures, but I'd be surprised if we weren't in the top percentile of energy consumption among creatures bigger than a shrew. The difference humans have with most animals is that we preserve our energy sources. Beer, jerky, refrigeration, canning, pemmican, etc. That and we spend energy to maximize our digestion. Cooking does wonderful things for nutrient absorption.

>>206355

Human in third picture is wrong. Tentacles are shit and you have a shit taste.

You better put poo poo in your mouth, you poo poo muncher.

>>205555

FOR THE EMPEROR

>>211657

You didn't answer the part about the broken leg.

>Rats, pigs, dogs, bears, pretty much all species of migrant bird that aren't obligate grass-eaters, chimpanzees, horses, raccoons, goats, hyenas, and definitely catfish

Aren't those exceptions, though? From my understanding, most animals adapt very poorly to other environments and even changes in what they eat (if they adapt at all, and don't just pass away). It's why zoos have to regulate their diets so carefully and let no extra food get thrown in.

>>211657

They can run faster, but I am fairly certain they cannot run as long as a trained soldier can, let alone a proper athlete.

And so do humans. In fact, they tend to survive a lot worse.

>Rats, pigs, dogs, bears, pretty much all species of migrant bird that aren't obligate grass-eaters, chimpanzees, horses, raccoons, goats, hyenas, and definitely catfish.

Several of those don't eat half as wide a variety as humans, though. And most the ones that do are very small.

And how does that compare what similar-sized animals need to continue? "Happy" isn't rightly a factor here, we're talking a purely "stay alive" lot. MREs and such have a lot of calories and so forth because those using them are expected to be expending a lot of energy, and so want to maintain a peak level stored.

I wasn't really talking about technology. More the basic level of medical care a human can do on their own. Cave Man Thog cutting his leg to remove the embedded rock, set his bone, bandage a wound, or splint. Things I could do in the middle of nowhere.

>>211751

Errr, care to rephrase that?

>All these other animals are so much better than inefficient, weak, stupid, awkward humans!

>Humanity still exploded in population and took over the fucking planet as the absolute apex of life on Earth in relatively little time, compared to every other species.

Humanity, FUCK YEAH.

>>211756

This is because, even though some creatures do this and that better than us, we do all of those things.

We can survive pretty much anywhere, heal a huge load of injuries, eat just about anything, and have the endurance to match.

Then on top of all that, you throw in that we're smart enough to use tools and build shit.

>>211536

>In case you haven't figured it out yet, the main thing that keeps humans on top of their fellow megafauna is the fact that humans can use tools. Any lethal conflict between an unarmed human a normal boar, wolf, big cat, chimp, shark, or snapping turtle is heavily weighted against the human. What lets humanity survive is the fact that they're smart enough to throw rocks, use sharpened sticks as spears, and set traps.

I will continue to say that the thing that makes humanity great is its ability to domesticate and tame wildlife. We needed food? We went out and herded it and bred it so we would have a renewable source. We needed mobility? needed power? We tamed the the horse. We needed keener senses? we tamed the wolf and had him hunt at our side. We needed companionship? we bred those wolves into dogs.

the wild itself became our tool.

>>211758

I said all of those things and cause that other anon to sperg out on someone else for agreeing with me.

>>211764

Also a good point.

Adapt, Assimilate, and Advance.

That is what it is to be human.

>>207873

>Both he and his dick said yes

Oikophobia: The Thread.

The fear of the familiar.

The disposition, in any conflict, to side with them against us.

The felt need to denigrate the customs, culture and institutions that are identifiably ours.

>>211841

I mean, considering in the wild, unlike in human's daily life with all our technology, yeah, you have to be.

I think that's more than fair.

Even humans without much of any medical treatment survive quite extreme injuries. Yes, including bullet wounds. Africa is full of such cases, as is south america.

Dogs are a somewhat decent example, but they still don't really do well with plant type stuff, mainly being a carnivore. Raccoons are probably the best example, but even they are a tad picky. However, given that they manage to scavenge what they need easily enough, I'd give you that one.

>There's a good reason you can feed a dog pretty much anything and it'll still be raring to go.

You've obviously never owned a dog.

>Are you implying that knowledge of first aid is instinctual?

No, I was implying that it probably shouldn't count as technology what you can do with a stick and some leaves. But, yes, we did know how to set bones, and we certainly knew how to bind wounds.

Frankly, I would've thought such was basic knowledge. For someone spouting how much people need to return to school, you don't seem to have gone yourself.

>>211753

No, read it.

>>211902

Consider learning english.

>>211657

>humans need lots of meat

No they dont. We just have access to delicious beef. You can go to countries where everyone is almost vegan like india and nepal and eat curry or dhal bhat (whatever it's called) every day and hardly noticed the difference.

Maybe when you get back or start there you might get sick from the sudden change of diet or foreign bugs but other than that initial flu there isn't even the 'lol curry makes diarrhea' shit going around.

T. Syrupdrinker that lived on nepal mountain veggie food while trekking for a few weeks. In fairness i did eat quite a few eggs (no meat of any kind available) but many people there are vegetarians.

>>211758

>humans have tools

>bretty good at walking around and manipulating shit

Ftfy. we're not so special other than that and doing repeated activitys.

>yfw humanity uses it's "gifts of endurance" to shitpost relentlessly on far eastern painted clay tablet flipbook archeologist discussion forums

>yfw human endurance was used to paint those clay tablets quickly enough that the people didn't complain of boredom.

>>211945

Not to disagree, but pre-human hominids are found with primitive tools all the time. They were probably aware of a minor bit of this, and early human humans certainly knew how to cook. It's a necessity for any hominid going North of the fertile crescent.

Trial and error over centuries leads to some surprisingly intricate culture forming.

>>211657

This is all largely accurate except for the running bit at the beginning.

A relatively healthy human (as healthy as a naturally occurring human would be, ie not an athlete but not most of us) at a low speed can outlast the majority of land animals, excepting the few on this list.

https://www.quora.com/What-animal-can-run-the-fastest-marathon?share=1

>>211733

Humans have pretty bad digestive systems.

We can eat more than most carnivores but our immune systems aren't as good at filtering out shit.

Rats, pigs etc surviving on just one kind of food is evidence of their fitness. Humans get malnourished on restricted diets.

>>211951

That doesn't discount what he said.

If you want to include human medicine then you have start comparing our primitive usage to other animals eating extremely specific rocks, mud or normally uneaten plants for medicinal purposes.

Higher apes and Elephants both do this naturally.

>>209284

>can survive for weeks, if not months, on minimal food and water anyways

Ehhh, debatable.

The rule of 3 goes like so: 3 minutes without air, 3 days without water and 3 weeks without food.

>>212043

Sleep snug, smug

>>212047

Hence "minimal" and not "none"

>>211959

>>211959

>Humans have pretty bad digestive systems.

This is very, very wrong. We have legendary digestive systems. We eat many, many things.On top of that, we can survive on a singular diet. A person could live on potatoes and little else. (They wouldn't be too happy though)

>Restrictive diets = fitness

No, it's arse. Adaptability is survival. We eat a larger variety of foods than anything else on the planet, buy a massive margin. We live anywhere and eat the local plants there. There is nothing we absolutely need, unlike say, the koala, which MUST eat eucalyptus leaves, or the Panda, which requires bamboo.

Ever wondered why people get nauseous on rollercoasters and aeroplanes?

Well, that's due to a certain mechanism in the brain. There are some optical illusions that occur in planes, that make it seem like things are moving in directions that they aren't, or vice versa.

Rollercoasters spin the fuck out of your inner ears, and often have little point of reference.

These combinations, when you can feel movement but can't see it, or you see movement but your inner ear tells you something different, didn't happen much in nature. When it did happen it was usually due to one thing:

Ingested toxins.

So that reaction evolved as a defense against toxins.

What's the first line of defense against eating something bad? Well, not allowing it to be digested. So the body forces it out, vomiting. This mechanism has served us extremely well; humans could try and test a far greater range of plants and other things, than any other animal. There is no one feed we absolutely need.

DESIGNATED

SHITTING

ORIFICES

>>212051

>First pic

>Going well

>All of a sudden, 'pursuit predators'

Fuckin lol

>>212141

It's just funny to me because that's the most mentioned trait so far.

>>212138

Good ones, hadn't seen 2 and 3 before.

>>212141

Or 1-3 of those.

Good stuff.

>>212148

doing god's work

>>205655

There's only one Z in gazelle.

>>205690

Being a military member, probably regardless of country, is a pretty good example of this.

US here, going from Oregon to Texas to northern Alaska in less than a year is a whole lot of extreme changes. First time I walked into open air in Alaska, it was -20 degrees Fahrenheit, and then that winter it got to -46. But yeah, we can just kinda deal with it.

>>205692

Does anyone know if any of these fantasies (barring Tolkien, IIRC his is pretty much just a creation-based universe) have some type of lore for how the races were created? I know that one expansion of World of Warcraft is heavily rooted in the history of the Dwarves, but I have no idea how their existence began in any other setting.

>>206004

To be fair, humans pant too. It's just that our threshold for HAVING to pant is higher because we sweat first.

>>207201

I always thought it was weird that humans and orcs are always depicted as enemies, they have more in common with eachother than most other races

>>210393

>>210394

>tfw this isn't the world we live in

>>210372

>argument is a buzzword

What?

I swear to all that is holy that this is not a complaint or bait, but why is HFY always about humans & aliens instead of human & fantasy species?

>>212051

>the last one

kek

>>211844

Well the only time physiology would come into it would be Oxygen dominant atmosphere and Earth gravity, and some other Earth-like conditions I am most likely missing vs most commons condition other species typically come from. But since that's more a double edged sword and everyone would be interacting in giant body obscuring suits it's not interesting for an HFY story.

>>214803

>cruel

woman

>>211751

Yes, a Polar Bear can live in colder temperatures than a Human - but that's not the point.

The point is that the Human can adapt to live at both hot and cold temperature. Assuming that you've got the travel sorted a human can live in tundra and a desert in one lifetime, rather than needing a few aeons to pass for evolution to take its course.

Humanity, Fucks You! Aka: so you want to fuck a *insert fantasy race here*

- Elves are quite sexual. They prefer partners they've taken a liking to prior to having sex with them. They are rather submissive and a partner who takes charge will find an elf to be rather willing. They prefer vanilla sex with plenty of groping. Their ears are very sensitive, and with a mix of rubbing, pinching, licking and suckling you can turn an elf into a blubbering mess. If they like you it's fairly simple to seduce an elf sharing your gender if you take charge and play with their ears. Certain subtypes of elf are very haughty and uppity. Listen closely to what they say when they dislike you: sometimes they really do not like you but in certain cases it is just an act. If you catch them stuttering or blushing heavily as they call you worthless you know you got them by the balls. Or the vagina, whatever.

- Dwarves are sexually conservative, with a vast majority being virgins until their wedding night. Loyalty to your partner is very important, and adultery is practically unheard of. However as they age they lose these inhibitions and can become quite perverted with age. While they're not very adventurous sexually they have great stamina, meaning sex with a dwarf can last for hours. Do be warned that dwarven women do not shave. Homosexuality is rare, but dwarves frequently form relationships of master/apprentice that have certain romantic undertones. Whether or not this results in them having sex is something dwarves do not talk about.

- Halflings enjoy sex quite a lot, with younger ones sleeping around. This is mainly to find a partner to spend the rest of their lives with. They enjoy intense and frequent sex, and with their spouse they enjoy discovering what the other likes. As couples stay together for long time they start to bicker more and more, but always make upbefore going to sleep (going to sleep with an unresolved argument causes bad luck according to halfling superstition) and is frequently paired with hardcore make up sex.

- Gnomes are perverted as fuck, and rarely have sex in the same way twice in a short time span. They are loyal to a partner, and figuring out what makes a person (and especially a spouse) tick is considered important in gnomish society. Despite how much sex they have their numbers are limited because of their low birth rates.

- Half-elves don't like to settle town, but they can appreciate a good fuck. Relationships last as long as they are in town, and there's a good chance they got a sweetheart in every town. If you want to try and make a relationship to last you'll have to travel with them, but you'll notice that they are a lot happier while on the road. I hope you enjoy outdoors sex.

- Half-orcs know they drew the short stick. Not very attractive, intimidating build for humans and weak build for orcs, lacking the strength of an orc and the finesse of a human. This means that a good number of them have resigned themselves to the fate that they will never find love. If you were to manage to convince one that you're interested in them and that you really like them you can look forward to a relationship with someone with a massive sexual drive, great endurance and is very protective of you. The risk of jealousy is there, and a violently protective half-orc is something that makes nobody happy (except your dick if that's your thing).

- Full-blooded orcs respect strength over anything. If you manage to beat one in a fight you have a right to them, but you can expect to have to struggle with them to keep things going your way in bed. If they take a liking to you prepare your genetalia, because you can expect a lot of hardcore, ball-busting sex. Be wary though though that if you can no longer perform at all your orc spouse might file for divorce by divorcing your head from your body.

>>215582

- Dragonborn are honorable, driven and pretty big. They prefer partners that have proven themself to be honorable, and have all the size and strength of an orc without the violent attitude. Whatever you do, do NOT double-time them because they will hunt you down and make you pay. But if you treat them right you'll have a honorable (and powerfully build) lover that will stay with you for years to come.

- Doppelgangers/changelings are used to two things: catering to a staggering number of fetishes and weaving a web of deceit they can hide behind. Finding one is immensely difficult, and winning its trust is even more so. Given they are used to having people make requests for a shape to indulge their fetishes, you'd be surprised by how well you are served by asking for their true form instead. There's a chance that it turns out that they're actually guys, so make sure you're ready for that plot twist. If you did manage to win one's affections and make sure they know you love them for who they are rather than what… well, you're going to experiences fetishes in ways you did not consider to be possible.

- Aasimar would like it to, just for once, not be thought of to be an off-brand Celestial. Constantly having yokels ask you for a blessing or begging you to heal their dying mom gets old fast. Don't make their heritage an issue. How they react to your overtures can rather depend on their heritage: descendants of archons are more sexually conservatie while those with Eladrin blood tend to be more prepared to get it on and in kinkier ways. And don't assume they're into jokes regarding sexual healing and laying on hands.

- Tieflings can be a mixed batch. Some will, if they take a liking to you, love you and leave you. Others that are more Evil-inclined might want to do do all sorts of sadistic stuff. Might even go as far as blood play. Those who grew up in environments less than accepting of Tieflings will grow up with quite the self-loathing issues. They might see your interest in them as a joke or a perversion of some kind, and if you do manage to seduce them you might discover that your squeeze is a massive masochist that craves to be abused, dominated, humiliated and put into their place during sex, only to have reassuring cuddles afterwards.

>>207326

Then you never read much about anthropology and sociology.

>>215583

Now do gnolls, kobolds, and griffons.

>>205548

>>205552

you niggaz need to actually read LOTR instead of watching the movies, because it's far from generic

ideally, start with the silmarillion

>>215946

This

Frikkin gold, LotR is a relatively shitty sequel to the stories summarized in that book.

>>215924

>gnolls

Giant hyena clit approaching!

>>215946

Silmarilion has a dude who is so hot blooded when he dies his corpse catches fire and burns up on its own accord.

Not even the hot blooded heroes from the animes are THAT hot blooded.

>>215924

>>215976

Alright then. Humanity, Fucks You! (part 2), aka: so you want to fuck a *insert monstrous fantasy race here*

- Kobolds are used to living in large groups and in cramped caverns. When alone and outside many of them lean towards loneliness and agoraphobia. When finding someone they like (and is stronger than them) they latch onto that person and never stray far from them. In bed this results in them being very cuddly and prefer positions in which they are held tightly as they make love. Touching a kobold's tail is an intimate gesture, and if a kobold will let you touch theirs with a smile you're pretty much guaranteed to get laid.

- Goblins are bullies, but because of their size and demeanor they are easily bullied themselves. When put in their place by someone bigger and tougher they serve mainly out of fear, but they lack the discipline to make them an effective force. Because of the high attrition rate goblins reproduce constantly, with nests going from anywhere to two to a dozen young (though around seven is the most common) that grow up very quickly. Goblin men are always eager to reproduce and what they lack in sexual endurance and size they make up for with their enthusiasm and their numbers: pulling a train on a goblin woman is common. Meanwhile, goblin women are very fertile with short gestation periods. Because of their large number of young they produce a lot of milk, resulting in rather large breasts on the female goblins. While mating with goblin men is the most common, a big strong adventurer is likely to catch their interest, and they'll willingly submit to sex with someone like that. This frequently results in them wanting sex all the time, and they don't seem to entirely understand that other humanoids have different mating practices.

- Gnolls are matriarchal, with the women deciding when they mate and with whom. Unwanted advances are punished by death on the spot. They will be dominant during sex, with the intercourse itself being violent, feral, often bloody and it's over when she's had enough. A female gnoll submitting to a male partner is considered an insult to the ways of the gnolls and is punished with exile for the gnoll and death for the male. When raiding other humanoids it is allowed for female gnolls to rape the men, which is often followed by them killing and eating the men during the victory feast. More perverted gnolls will put a male victim in a cage with several hyenas and watch as they are raped and eaten. A rare subtype of gnolls has the female genitalia developed to have a pseudo-penis, though this is not used during sex and only as a display of dominance by rubbing it against a male's face.

- Lamia are incredibly vain and very predatorily. They enjoy corrupting the innocent and the pure, as well as seducing them into thralldom. While very attractive form the waist up their lower halves are those of snakes, lions or rarely other beasts and their hearts are as black as they get. When capturing someone the lamia considers to be attractive and strong they'll sometimes try to have sex with them. The lamia takes charge in this but the partner is expected to show interest and worship the lamia as their goddess. If they fail to deliver on this the lamia will be offended, tear the partner apart and devour them. A partner that shows proper respect and devotion to the lamia that enslaved him can look forward to a life filled with luxury and sex, but if the lamia gets bored of or offended by their slave they'll kill them with no remorse.

- Centaurs are nomadic. Their tribes are wary of other races and try to avoid them. Those too weak to keep up are left behind to die. Sometimes a centaur leaves the tribe on their own accord, either to live on their own or with humanoids on the frontier. While somewhat aloof they do enjoy the company of people and it is not unheard of for them to strike up a relationship with a humanoid. While they can control their sexual urges the moment they actually start to have intercourse their inhibitions go out the window, with their mating being rather feral. This frequently results in injury (female centaur on male humanoid) or death (male centaur on female humanoid) for the humanoid, meaning that they prefer to not have sex. Riding a centaur is seen as a grave insult, and those centaurs that let others ride them are seen as incredibly perverse. They don't like being treated as pack animals, though they don't mind carrying their own stuff.

>>216086

- Harpies are sadistic predators. They use their alluring song to pacify their prey before ripping it apart and devouring it. Because they are a single-gender species they have to mate with other humanoids in order to reproduce. They use a combination of their song and their ferocity to find someone that they can mate with and force themselves on them. They are not particularly picky: while preferring elven men they will go for anyone that could impregnate them, from big burly orcs to Halflings, gnolls, the occasional fiend and even adolescents that only recently became able to reproduce. Harpies have thing for bringing a prey to the point of orgasm, and the moment they ejaculate they start tearing into them with their claws to turn their pleasure into pain. This is so pleasurable for the harpy it can drive them to orgasm.

- Griffons are seen as noble, majestic animals that highborn nobles ride into battle against their enemies. While this is correct, people tend to forget their more base and animalistic sides. While their preferred diet is horse, a male griffon with a desire to mate without a fitting mate nearby will sometimes sexually assault a herd of horses to slake its lust. The young born from such a union are hippogriffs. The herd abandons such young, but when found by a humanoid these are often sold to be trained as riding animals themselves. While not as powerful as a griffon the hippogriff is a lot easier to train, friendlier and easier to ride. And they give live birth, and have a good chance to breed true with normal horses. This comes at the downside of being a preferred target for griffons, who will attack a hippogriff on sight and not stop until it is dead, no matter what a rider might say. Properly training a griffon is difficult, but when done so they are incredibly loyal. It is rumored that riders engage in intercourse with their griffons (with men riding their female griffons in a special way and women kneeling down for their griffons), but this is considered uncouth hearsay at best.

- Lizardfolk are quite xenophobic. It takes one an incredible force of will to not attack a non-lizardfolk upon sight. Lizardfolk shamans are more restrained and can trade with outsiders, but this is seen as tasteless at best. While lizardfolk raiders prefer to kill and rob people, sometimes an individual's dislike evolves into something more perverse. They will prey on humanoids and attack them with intent to rape them. Male lizardfolk don't discriminate between genders when doing this, but female ones make sure to check their target is male before moving in. Because of the differences between humanoid and lizardfolk biology this does not result in pregnancy, however those that are capable of mating with lizardfolk (mainly dragon-blooded and Outsiders) can create a child.

>>216087

- Lycanthropes exist in a variety of types, but they can be divided into roughly two groups: those that resist the curse and those that relish in it. Those who resist the curse will remain themselves when the moon isn't out, but with full moon they completely lose control and become murderous. The ones that give in to it however eventually become able to change at will, but become more and more beast-like and depraved as time passes. Some common subtypes are:

– The werewolf is by far the most common type. The ones that retain their personality are often withdrawn, stay away from humans and can become depressed. If you want to seduce one don't flip out when you discover their true form, accept them and generally be supportive. When the full moon approaches though you might want to cage them up somewhere, and expect them to be sullen after the full moon passes.

– Wereboars are short of temper and short on manners. They tend to like the curse and frequently and messily infect others by gorging them. If one takes an interest in you beware: they are tough, can have sex for hours and often take the lead, but it'll likely end up with you getting infected.

– Wererats stick together. In fact, if you get turned the family of the one that turned you will approach you and give you a choice: join them or get torn to shreds. They're kind of like the mafia: skulking in the sewers of society, acting like a thieves' guild and prefer to set up ambushes rather than swarm an attacker. Expect them to be alert and somewhat distant during sex, and you might up getting robbed once the deed's done.

– Werebears prefer to keep the monster at bay, hiding in the woods and living solitary lives. Because they live away from society they are at lower risk to accidentally maul an innocent, and even when in full bear mode they maul and not bite to not infect others. Because of their lives they can be rather lonely, and there's a good chance that you can seduce one this way if you play the companionship angle.

Oh, and be wary that lycanthropy is an STD. So wrap it before you tap it.

- Sphinx is a name given a number of related creatures. The most commonly known ones are the gynosphinx (the body of a lioness with a human head) and the androsphinx (the body of a lion with a human head with a great mane of hair). A male sphinx breeding with a gynosphinx results in children of the father's type, but with androsphinxes this also results in some gynosphinxes being amongst the litter. Gynosphinxes consider all types of sphinx but the androsphinx below them. Unfortunately androsphinxes are rarely interested in mating, leaving the gynosphinxes rather sexually frustrated. An unproven theory is that the gynosphinxes love proving their superiority over other people by beating them in contests of riddles because it somewhat relieves their frustration. Only the most intelligent humanoids would stand a chance to beat a gynosphinx in a riddle-off, and by posing riddles that it cannot solve will fuel the sphinx' frustration until it eventually cannot contain itself and ravish the humanoid. After several hours of intense sex the sphinx sends the humanoid away because of the sphinx being ashamed of herself and that she let herself be seduced like that. It is unknown if humanoids can interbreed with gynosphinxes, though there are a number of scholars claiming that this is how the lion-like lamia are born.

>>205525

You forgot "munchkins of the winterlands making gifts for the children"

Humans are fine, it's elves, dwarves, halflings and the same tired tolkein races we've seen for the past seventy years in every fantasy world ever that are boring.

The faggots that scream furries whenever people put in bugs, birdmen or kobolds or some shit aren't any better.

>>216086

>>216087

>>216088

Let's keep this going. So you want to fuck an X: Planar Edition!

- Modrons don't have genitalia, but they have mouths. Getting a regular one to fuck you is next to impossible (especially the ones looking like living fleshlights), but a rogue Modron might be convinced to suck your dick if you tell it it'll help it understand humanoids better

- Inevitables don't have genitalia, and as such are more difficult to fuck. Getting one to fuck you is even more difficult, with the Kolyarut being the most likely to work your dick. A course of action would be to have information it seeks to find its target, and offer to give it to it in return for some lovin'. This might result in you getting attacked, but if you show it that it's required by law that such information is paid for you might end up getting lucky.

- Angels/Aasimon are a very righteous bunch that consider sex to get in the way of enlightenment. The higher ranked they are the less likely they are to bone you. However, when you are sufficiently righteous and virtuous you might be able to seduce an Aasimon into jumping your dick for some loving.

- Archons are much like Aasimon, but more exotic in form. Young Lantern Archons might be able to be seduced into working your dick, but don't count on it.

- Guardinials might fuck you. Or not, depending on what you act like. They're real mellow but once they make their mind up you can't change it. So just flirt with them and see if it gets your dick wet. And yes, fucking a Guardinial makes you a furry.

- Animal Lords are humanoids that are exemplars of the virtues of a particular species. If you fuck one you're not a furry, but you're likely an Otherkin: to fuck the Cat Lord you pretty much got to be an attractive mate… to a cat. Other species that take a more forceful approach to mating can be approached this way, but be wary of any of the Animal Lord's animals ripping you apart. So if you are low on common sense you can go try and rape the Duck Lord.

- Asuras are the Chaotic equivalent of angels. Wise, gentle, passionate, but also rather militant and somewhat jealous. Those in a host of soldiers tend to not mingle with humanoids all that much, but rogue ones might. As such, an Asuras without a host will wander on their own. This drives them a little barmy to the point they become a strange mix of Chaotic Stupid and Stupid Good (as in: they’ll rob you blind and give your stuff to someone poor because that is the Right Thing to do). Those with a silver tongue can dissuade them and make them see the folly of their actions. If you’re righteous and good you might even be able to seduce one, a union from which an Aasimar child can be the fruit.

- Eladrin are wild, vibrant, passionate, free and love to celebrate life and the arts. With a matching outlook you can find them to be willing lovers capable of fucking your brains out. They're cool with being friends with benefits but are also willing to start a deep, passionate romance.

- Lillend are to lamia what angels are to humans: big ol' snake people with big fluffy wings. They’re very attractive, loving and care greatly for the arts, training in several fields. A Lillend trained in the arts of love makes for a spectacular lover that will give you some of the best sex in your life. They are mainly vegetarian but love to gouge themselves on meat to the point that they're in a stupor for several hours up to a few days (depending on how much they ate). Having a Lillend ask you to watch over her means she trusts you greatly and that you scored big time. There are male and female looking Lillend but they are all genetically female (so male Lillend have vaginas, not dicks). While they reproduce via parthenogenesis it might be possible to impregnate one and create an Aasimar this way. And because their bodies are difficult to fit clothes over they prefer jewelry and tattoos over dressing themselves.

- Githzerai are very insular and focused on mastery of the self. As such they’re not very sexual or have strong desires for relationships, which is doubled when dealing with interspecies relationships. They greatly value mastery of the self, and by displaying knowledge of yourself, of your purpose, your abilities and a frothing hatred for the Illithid and Githyanki you might stand a chance. Do note that Githzerai are a skinny bunch with pretty much no curves going on.

>>218972

- Slaad are nigh impossible to woo. One moment they’re more than willing to get fucked by you, the next they bite your head off or implant you with their spawn. Nothing applies to trying to seduce one: stay away.

- Most demons would rather rip you in half than have sex with you. The higher-up demons might fuck you, but it’d be painful and likely to be lethal. Don’t try it.

- Gehreleth are nasty pieces of work that would rather keep you as a personal sex slave than have a short-term rumble with. They’re repulsive, vile and unpleasant creatures that you should stay away from as much as possible.

- Rakshasa are sadistic, violent and cruel. Don’t fall into one’s (inverted) hands, because it would be a most unpleasant experience. Fucking one makes you a furry, but it’ll likely hurt too much for you to care. And don’t look down when one’s giving you a handjob; seeing one of those inverted hands at work will kill your boner double time.

- Hordelings don’t care: they’ll just rip you to shreds.

- Hags are normally very ugly creatures, but might turn themselves into beautiful women to seduce a humanoid, only to reveal themselves at the cruelest possible time (quite possibly just prior orgasm so you’ll come to a most unpleasant surprise). Or they’ll do other nasty shit to you. Be polite though, because Hags have very bad tempers.

- Succubi are hedonists pur sang. They’ll do whatever they like best and go look for something else if they get bored. They are extremely attractive and know how to have the best sex in the Multiverse. They’ll fuck your brains out until you become evil, then kill you and suck your soul out through your dick and submit it to an eternity of torment.

- Yugoloth are amongst the worst: they’re sadistic and more likely to eat you alive than fuck you. They’re all biological hermaphrodites, so you can fuck them in either way. And yes, fucking a female Arcanoloth makes you a furry futa fucker.

- Devils are big on BDSM and anything that involves pain (for you) and pleasure (for them). If one willingly fucks you on your terms it’s because of a plot. Don’t trust them. Special notice goes to the Erinyes, the she-bitches of hell. They’re beautiful, fierce, intelligent and more than capable of and willing to seduce you into Lawful Evilness.

- Bladelings are incredibly insular and more likely to sacrifice outsiders to their god than fuck one. Plus, their skin is made of metal and covered in spikes, so fucking one is generally a bad idea. They have sex in the same way porcupines do: very carefully.

- Githyanki are extremely xenophobic, considering everyone below them. They hate slavery above all else, and forcing one into bondage and fucking them would be the worst possible insult. They value strength and obedience, and may or may not be fucking red dragons on the side.

>>216086

>Touching a kobold's tail is an intimate gesture, and if a kobold will let you touch theirs with a smile you're pretty much guaranteed to get laid.

Too cute for me

>>215583

>And don't assume they're into jokes regarding sexual healing and laying on hands.

Ectually, wouldn't they enjoy someone who doesn't take that seriously?

>Others that are more Evil-inclined might want to do do all sorts of sadistic stuff. Might even go as far as blood play.

Lawful Evil sounds like Dom/Sub central, depending on their position in society.

>- Hags are normally very ugly creatures, but might turn themselves into beautiful women to seduce a humanoid, only to reveal themselves at the cruelest possible time (quite possibly just prior orgasm so you’ll come to a most unpleasant surprise). Or they’ll do other nasty shit to you. Be polite though, because Hags have very bad tempers.

Sounds like they can be fun if steered to mischief and not mutilation and murder. Also, get the peroxide!

>- Succubi are hedonists pur sang. They’ll do whatever they like best and go look for something else if they get bored. They are extremely attractive and know how to have the best sex in the Multiverse. They’ll fuck your brains out until you become evil, then kill you and suck your soul out through your dick and submit it to an eternity of torment.

What happens if you don't go evil?

>- Devils are big on BDSM and anything that involves pain (for you) and pleasure (for them). If one willingly fucks you on your terms it’s because of a plot. Don’t trust them. Special notice goes to the Erinyes, the she-bitches of hell. They’re beautiful, fierce, intelligent and more than capable of and willing to seduce you into Lawful Evilness.

On the other hand… Strict but happy Lawful Evil household could be fun.

Which ones do you need a lawyer for every other conversation?

>>218973

What about the Far Realms?

>>218973

>>219018

Or Aquatics?

>>211914

Consider learning reading.

>>214845

>Human can adapt to live at both hot and cold temperature.

Again animal already 'can live in hot and cold lands already this shit isn't new at fucking all. anon, human can adapt to live at both hot and cold, but they only can when x general person goes up to a colder climate then can they can be easily freeze depending on where they were raised for most of their lives, if you sand a goddamn eskimo to the far south, he or she will fucking hot as fuck. Same with animals but at least with some they can do both naturally and some even goes beyond on a temperature at extreme rates more then humans, Wood frogs can survive more on a freezing then you anon.

>>219038

*Wood frogs can survive more on a freezing temperature then you anon.

>>219038

Consider your phrasing and syntax-fucking hell this is pointless.

>>219006

>Ectually, wouldn't they enjoy someone who doesn't take that seriously?

Because it stopped being funny after hearing it for the twentieth time.

>Lawful Evil sounds like Dom/Sub central, depending on their position in society.

LE is all about fucked up sexual relationships. Just look at Beliel and Fierna. Or Glasya and her mom.

>Sounds like they can be fun if steered to mischief and not mutilation and murder. Also, get the peroxide!

They're too cruel to just make it a prank. Also they might kill you afterwards.

>What happens if you don't go evil?

The more you resist, the harder you'll fall. Don't fuck a succubus.

>On the other hand… Strict but happy Lawful Evil household could be fun.

Relationships are tools for their own advancement for devils. Fiendish relationshps last until someone can profit from it.

>Which ones do you need a lawyer for every other conversation?

Devils. Not in casual conversation, but when brokering a deal either get yourself a fiendish lawyer (expensive) or get a Guvner (will take very long to arrange).

>>219018

>What about the Far Realms?

Monsters from the Far Realm will warp you into inhuman shapes that know only pain and suffering. You won't be able to get it up. And you'll die very quickly.

>>219024

>Or Aquatics?

Get a way to breathe water. Genitals might be incompatible, but given that they breathe with gills they can deepthroat like champions.

>>205519

because we get a feat on level one

FEAT

ON

LEVEL

ONE

>>219038

That's not even a proper statement. The right way is "Consider learning to read".

Given the stuff below, though, I'd guess english is just not your first language. You really should learn to speak the language properly, in any case.

>>219042

Consider your insults pointless as well

>>219147

>"Consider learning to read

Well fuck me for doing this shit late at night.

>>219155

Ok, but do you have any comments about temperatures anon, you know the reason why i made the post in the first place.

>>219186

I would say it is at a higher rate than he seems to suggest, but then, I can't actually tell what he's suggesting, because his post is so damn indecipherable.

I'll just say that lots of humans do perfectly fine moving from cold to hot, or dry to wet, without much in the way of an acclimation period.

>>219216

It takes humans about a month to adjust to big temperature differences. It happens every year going from season to season. The first warm day after a cold winter feels amazingly warm, even if it's only 50° out, but by summer's end, a 50° day feels too chilly.

>>219293

Once again, for the love of all things holy, learn some fucking english, mate.

I assume what you are saying is that there are some animals that can more quickly adjust from temperatures of South America to the North Pole more quickly or better than humans?

If so, I'd love to hear an example, because I've never heard of any such creature.

>>219294

>I assume what you are saying is that there are some animals that can more quickly adjust from temperatures of South America to the North Pole more quickly or better than humans?

The fuck are you even talking about?

learn reading comprehension.

>If so, I'd love to hear an example, because I've never heard of any such creature.

If you read anything, i did put a quick example on one of my post anon.

>>219296

No, you didn't. Lay off the lead chips, m8.

>>219296

I'm sorry I can't decipher your horrible gibberish, anon. Maybe if you learned to speak english.

>>219186

Just asking anon.

>>219309

>m8

Yes i did anon.

>>219310

Do you have any other insults?

because english thing is getting old now anon.

>>219042

>>219147

>>219155

>>219294

>>219310

samefag

>>219312

NO, YOU IDIOT, YOUR ENGLISH IS TERRIBLE.

YOU SEE ALL THOSE LITTLE DOT THINGS? THE ONES THAT HAVE LITTLE SLANTY BITS ON THEM? THEY'RE CALLED COMMAS. YOU USE THEM, LIBERALLY, TO SEPARATE PARTS OF THE SENTENCE THAT NEED TO BE DISTINCT.

>>219313

I am half of that. That's how conversation works. I've been replying.

But there's at least one other guy.

>>219312

I'm sorry, but the english is really, really fucking bad.

I'm not trying to be creative here or anything, it's just really ,really bad.

It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't so fucking bad.

>>219316

>I've been replying.

Samefag

>>219315

The main issue is the god-awful run on sentences with sections that have no logical connection with one another and general lack of proper english language skill causing a whole bunch of random words that don't belong, or are otherwise incorrect.

And, no, your comma placement is shit. Few and far between. Of course, the bigger problem is the lack of periods.

>>219317

k

>>219316

And you're reading comprehension is really shitty but do i really give two shits, not really since this is just a shitty chan.

>>219318

k

>>219320

You snooze, you lose.

>>219319

>you're

Not to mention again with the god-awful run on sentences.

Do you have some kind of cognitive learning disability or something?

>>219318

>k

Still samefag to be other anon.

>>219321

>you're

Well fuck me

>Do you have some kind of cognitive learning disability or something?

Do you?

>>219334

But really, do you?

>>219038

If you're not going to take the time to present your words well, don't be surprised when others don't take the time to care about what you have to say.

>>219118

Anon, if it would help dispel this shitstorm, could you go into more individual detail on the Aquatics, please?

>>219668

Alrighty. So you want to fuck an X: Aquatic Planar Edition!

- Zoveri are very friendly aquatic beings that live in the Silver Sea on Lunia, the first layer of Mount Celestia. They resemble aquatic elves from the waist up, but from the waist down they're octopi. If someone (even evil cutters!) enters a portal to Lunia they always appear over the Silver Sea and fall into it, one or more Zoveri will show up and offer to bring them to shore. They can also turn into the form of an elf and walk the shores of Lunia, where they like to mingle with the locals before returning to the ocean. This makes them good candidates for some land-lover lovin'. And you know what they say about girls with eight legs, right?

- Balaena are whales that serve as the ferrymen of the River Oceanus. They are peaceful creatures that like to explore the waters of their home, as well as oceans on the Prime and even the Astral Sea. They don't mind ferrying creatures across the waters. While they move 100 miles per day (which might not seem all that much) they can keep swimming indefinitely. They can take creatures into their mouths to allow them to reach underwater destinations. As a payment it wants news, rumors, stories and other such things. Good and Neutral creatures can be ferried across, but it'll take a very good reason for it to ferry along an evil one. As for having sex with one… well, Balaena are on average 30' long. Your dick is ill-sized to fuck one.

- Delphons, also known as songsharks, swim in the River Oceanus. Because of how common fish are there they don't need to attack intelligent species to feed. Their song is a very potent one that can charm, confuse or paralyze you, render you unconscious or even give you insight into the Multiverse. They're gregarious, friendly and are especially intrigued by those who learn to (somewhat) copy their songs. They make for great friends that can help you easily cross between the various planes touched by the River Oceanus. Whether or not they'd be interested in sex is up for grabs, but remember that they are sharks when you try and fuck one.

- Various Animal Lords are related to water life. There should be plenty of Fish Lords, a Dolphin Lord, a Whale Lord, a Manatee Lord (they're both fatties), a Killer Whale Lord, a Shark Lord, an Ichthyosaurus Lord and so on. As noted earlier, by having traits that are deemed desirable by these Animal Lords they might be up for mating, but doing so likely means you're an Otherkin. The same is true in lesser amounts for the various Warden Beasts, who are the eyes and ears of the Animal Lords and are as intelligent as a human, but they're completely in the shape of their base animal. So fucking one of those makes you a furry.

- Asrai are small (1' to 4') water nymphs that thrive in the dark. They are naked all the time, covering themselves with their prehensile hair. Direct sunlight makes them melt away so they only come up at night. They are extremely short lived, living for only and exactly 9 years before dissolving and a handful of new Asrai appear. They have a pact with other aquatic creatures that states that the Asrai are exclusively herbivores in return for being unable to be attacked by carnivorous water-based creatures. Creatures on land are not bound to this and the less scrupulous ones try and catch Asrai (mainly by throwing food at the surface, which makes the Asrai come up and eat it like fish) to sell to Yugoloth and Slaadi who like the taste of Asrai flesh. As such the Asrai will never approach a human out of the blue, but when faced with one they'll likely throw insults at them. They make a sport out of it by trying to hypnotize sailors into jumping into the water, where they promptly get their half-hypnotized asses eaten by sharks and other creatures that have learned that following a school of Asrai can often result in a nice and easy meal.

- Wastrilith are long serpentine Tanar'ri inhabiting the aquatic parts of the Abyss, especially Demogorgon's and Dagon's layers. They're territorial and savage, allowing no creatures that they cannot terrorize into submission near their territory and will devour any that try and get close. As such, they don't tend to be inclined towards sex.

>>219774

- Hezrou are frog-shaped Tanar'ri, the weakest of the True Tanar'ri. Like all demons they're vicious, cruel and generally unpleasant. Once every few times per century they can travel to the Prime and make pacts with mortals in need. Whether or not such a need might be of a sexual nature is unknown. Remember that the children of male True Tanar'ri and female humanoids become Marquis Cambions. There is a hefty price to this though: they are to be given either the pact maker themselves or a family member, friend or lover to the Hezrou who takes them back to the Abyss and turns them into a Manes to serve for the rest of eternity. Oh, and they extrude a smell so horrid it will paralyze you if the Hezrou comes within 10' of you.

- Marraenoloth are boney creatures with an important task: they can ferry creatures over the Styx without arousing suspicion. They never get lost while navigating it and can travel from and to any plane connected by the Styx while sailing it. They can even enter the Prime Material and leave by sailing their skiffs. Without their ships they are next to useless though and so they stay with their ships. Payment is to be given immediately, and even then they might turn on you if it's convenient or possible. They are aware of each other, and can recognize anyone who's cheated another Marraenoloth (so they can up their prices for this person). Because of their mobile nature they're the least malevolent and backstabbing-prone of the Yugoloth, but that doesn't say much. They're not very attractive and having enjoyable sex with one would be quite the feat.

- Hydroloth are the Navy SEALs of the Yugoloth forces. They can swim through the Styx without being affected by it, glide and can teleport all over the place. They are skilled and they know it, allowing them to use their prestige to request (within reason) favors from higher-ranking Yugoloth. They are driven, fierce and very dangerous. They are also quite tall (10'), so keep this in mind when trying to fuck one. And remember that they are Yugoloth, with all the cruelty that comes with that.

- Marid are the genies of water. They are big on their own royalty, having a variety of titles going from Padishah (Great King) to Mufti (in the context of the Marid something of a sub-regional ruler). The largest of geniekind (standing at an average of 18') they move through water with great ease. They are very independent and egotistical and will stick with doing what they want even when doing something else would be the wiser choice. They love stories and storytelling, and the best way to not offend one would be to have a silver tongue and much adventure behind them. Oh, and don't offend one: you'll be killed if you do. Seducing one is very difficult, given how they see lesser (as in: any non-genie) beings, but if they decide they're going to fuck you they're going to fuck you whether you like it or not.

- Nereid are sometimes called the honeyed ones, mainly for their hobby of luring sailors to their doom by using their song. They look like voluptuous young women with long hair, pale skin and dress in little more than a big shawl. This shawl is their weakness, for it contains their essence. Destroy it and a Nereid will dissolve into water. If you obtain one the Nereid will obey whatever you tell it to in fear of you destroying the shawl. And while they won’t try and take it by force they’ll use whatever trickery and deceit they can think of to get it back. Be wary that if a Nereid kisses a man he’ll either drown or cream his pants in ecstasy, depending on how tough he is. Nereid confronted by only women will appear as handsome men, but two out of three times the women will see straight through the disguise.

- Mephit are best described as elemental imps. Not all that short (5') they have fins, webbed fingers and toes, big fish eyes, fish lips and scales all over their body. They tend to be annoyingly jovial and tactless, and have a tendency to follow people and groups around because of the novelty of it. Whether or not you'll want to fuck one is up for grabs given their looks, but if they like you they won't make a secret of it. And you might not want it to become common knowledge that you had sex with one lest you be forever known as the Mephitfucker.

>>219669

K, but other one still was a samefag.

>>205519

>absolutely no flavor, boring as dicks

I'm sorry, did you just segue over to dwarves and elves there?

>>210393

>>210394

goddamn it /tg/

>>205539

>running

You don’t understand anything about what you’re discussing. Shut the fuck up, you retarded sack of genocidal shit.

>>208541

>successfully outed myself as a scientific illiterate

Fixed that for you.

>>210524

>it doesn’t exist because I say so

>despite humanity existing solely because of it

Time for you to kill yourself.

>>212140

>keeps repeating bullshit

>thinks no one will call him out

I don’t give a fuck that it was two months ago. You are and will always remain a complete fucking retard.

>>228557

Human anythingis de facto vanilla because everyone is already a human and knows how it works.

If you 'flavour' humans then they're not really humans.

And by the way humans may be vanilla but vanilla is still a legitimate flavour. Nothing wrong with it not feeling fancy and being a bit classic. That's just how we are.

Interestingly enough, if we go for humans as the Endurance race, it means that humans are good at warfare. Especially the kind that start involving numbers in the thousands.

Elves would be too weak to stand open warfare and depend entirely on guerrilla warfare which is why they live in the forests.

Dwarves are naturally inclined to living underground and so are more comfortable with Urban warfare, especially at night. This combined with their metallurgy and human inventiveness means dwarf+human is a steady alliance that has been going on for generations.

Orca are better at duelling but tire quickly and are suited at best to ambushing a small trading caravan.

Funny how if we still get the same social structure if we assume humans are the endurance race.

>>210524

you're a fucking idiot

human beings can have extremely good endurance, while most animals tire themselves quickly because it's a chase of speed, human begins originally chased things down that outran them, but tired out after 20 minutes.

>Elves

Too busy masturbating themselves to their own reflection to even think of building an actual city

>Orcs

A bunch of overly agressive assholes that can't stand being in the same room as anything else without thinking of beating it to a bloody pulp

>Dorfs

Literal jews + bearded women

>Beastfolk

Either extremely degenerate or Japanese-tier frigid

It's the best we have.