No.218774
Oh, hello mortals still dealing with your many, many shortcomings I see… Yeah we elves have got it made, extra long lives, the greatest food and not to mention the most beautiful women on the planet. We are also the best craftsman on the face of the earth, so do forgive us if we judge your creations a bit harshly. After all, we have become so accustomed to our own standards of quality, that we find anything less laughable. That of course, goes without saying is pretty much EVERYTHING you produce.
Yes, the life of a Elf is truly noble, graceful and greatest expression of the this world's life forms.
No.218779
File: 1455519782318.jpg (3.3 MB, 2816x2138, 1408:1069, 4f4cd06bb005552b750658b64d….jpg)
>superior genetics
>superior culture
>superior looks
>superior craftsmanship
>built civilization and has thousands of years of storied history
>own society crumbling from invasion by foreign hordes and scheming, greedy, hairy manlets
Face it, elves are white people. It is an undeniable truth.
No.218789
>>218779
>Filthy Savages who live in trees and build houses out of sticks and leaves
>White
White people are the innovators of the world. People who shape their surroundings to their needs and aren't afraid to challenge the world itself to get what they want.
White people can also handle their drink.
No.218791
>>218774
Sounds pretty sweet, how are your women doing?
Oh wait, they're busy being fucked by everyone BUT elven men.
No.218799
>>218791
Elven women literally don't look like that anon. They are graceful and jovial. They don't have cowtits and oversized butts, leave that barbarism to the humans.
No.218804
>>218791
Brown elves are the only acceptable elves. All other elves are equivalent to niggers.
No.218807
>>218799
It seems that you are confusing little elf boys with elven women. But perhaps they have your preference?
>>218804
Amen, brother.
No.218808
>>218804
>Elves that look like niggers are acceptable
>Elves that don't look like niggers are niggers
No.218811
>>218808
Different race, different niggers. That it's exactly reversed in comparison to humans is sheer coincidence.
One of my bits and pieces of lore got brown elves living on living plant ships. They are the most chill of all races but if provoked they play their "got contacts to the sea and storm god" card
No.218812
>>218791
>>218807
What if the busty slut elves were a completely different species?
Like orcs and humans think that's what an elf woman looks like, but secretly elf women look just like elf men except they wear tree burqas so we never notice them.
Instead we get distracted by this different species of pointy-eared degenerates.
>>218808
Elves are a topsy turvy race!
I hear they age backwards!
No.218823
>and not to mention the most beautiful women on the planet
Who run straight into the arms of human males because they can lift more than twelve pounds and aren't more effeminate than they are
Stay cucked, elf. Humans won't outlive you but that's still plenty of time to take your women.
No.218842
For being so enlightened and superior, you sure like going apeshit over shiny rocks.
No.218846
>>218812
>>218807
This is what a real elf looks like, you bigots.
No.218862
>>218846
That's a real elf alright.
A real elf man.
No.218871
>>218779
I gotta argue with you on one thing though - the "superior looks" part. In some settings elves look like some kinda freaky grey alien/human hybrid or otherwise have some funky facial structure that doesn't do it for me. And usually, in those weird-face elf settings, the elven women have overly thin bodies. Hardly any curves at all, almost no boobs, etc.
And even the best-case depictions, non-weird "perfect looking human" style elves still have one flaw, the ears. I just never liked those pointy elf ears. So sure, in those settings elves may have an overall better attractiveness average, but a 10/10 human would edge out a 10/10 elf for not having long pointy ears.
>>218791
Like this right here would be an ideal elf situation, got them curves I like in the right amount, but she'd look just a little better still without the elf ears. And at that point, there' pretty much no difference between an especially attractive human women.
No.218874
File: 1455554244493.png (253.97 KB, 394x476, 197:238, 021f41608c0d61568558666eef….png)
>Be Wizard
>Invent Estrogen from cow piss
>Switch it up a Notch, with Cow demons and Gorgon Piss
>Enchant it/enhance it
>Make alliance with Dwarves
>Flood it into Elve's shitty wood water supplies
>20 years Later
>Tranny/Mutated womb failed Intersex Elf apocalypse
>Elves can't string together any coherent government of any kind
>Entire society falls apart
>Drow eventually make it up to the surface and immediately go back down to the underdark
>MFW
No.218880
>>218874
>poopoo peepee corrupts the ecosystem
>it begins spreading
>now there's a plague of insane half-man half-woman sex monsters rampaging across the land, turning everything they touch into more of them
>the world ends within the decade
No.218881
>>218774
I'd argue with you, but I can't when high elves are pretty much the white people of every world they're in.
No.218882
>>218812
>tree burqas
This entertained me far more than it should have
No.218886
No.218891
>>218880
Good thing we have well guarded entrances that we can barricade against the infected surface dwellers and a self sufficient ecosystem that we can live on indefinitely.
No.218919
>>218891
>what is the water table
>how does seepage work
>tunnels don't exist guys
No.218929
File: 1455568551359.jpg (206.82 KB, 1183x675, 1183:675, dwarven_caverns_by_eldersc….jpg)
>>218919
We deal with underground water on a daily basis, you think we don't have that shit exactly where we want it? And how are they going to dig thousands of feet worth of tunnel without being detected while also suffering from Sex Maniac disease?
No.218952
>>218791
anyone here notice the increase in brown half-elves?
dwarven lands for the dwarves?
orc land for the orcs?
elven lands for everyone?
No.218961
>>218929
Mah Khazad :)
Dwarf superiority is best superiority.
No.218965
>>218929
Oh, please. You guys would just dig up a demon from the rocks in your maddened search for jewelry and fuck yourselves over.
No.218971
>>218965
At least we're doing something, knife ears.
What have the elves been doing for the past 3-400 years?
Oh yeah, that's right, you've been floating around the forest going "Ah me! Our time is coming to an end, look at how noble and accepting we are about the supposedly fated extinction that we seem to want".
Me and my dwarven drinking buddies though, we've been all "Hey, you see that rock there? I think there's shiny shit in that rock, shiny shit I can build into awesome stuff. Fuck that rock, I want its shiny shit". You may say "Oh! But what if you dig up a demon?" to which I respond "Then I will headbutt it in the face until it fucks off! If the headbutting doesn't work then I carry a sledgehammer for a fucking reason! Why are you asking me such stupid shit when you could be splitting rocks open by grimacing and ramming your erection into them?!"
Don't worry, while you may be certain that your own culture is dying the more intelligent elven women are learning how happy they can be as our pets. Let's face it, you were always closer to animals than anything else, what with your unrestrained forest faggotry.
No.218975
File: 1455579660040.jpg (261.21 KB, 780x1009, 780:1009, Dwarf fortress 14 a dwarf ….jpg)
>>218965
>You might dig up a demon by being too awesome
>Better show our superiority by committing ritualistic suicide on a species-wide scale
>>218971
This bearded compatriot knows what's up.
No.218976
>>218971
>shiny
>shiny
>shiny
Dwarvens confirmed for having bird brains
No.218977
>>218971
>"Then I will headbutt it in the face until it fucks off!"
>He forgot about Moria's Slay The Dwarf Fest
No.218979
No.218980
>>218977
Hey, if those pussies over at Moria couldn't headbutt a few goblins and one demon out of their hall then they must have been getting too close to their local elf infestation (incidentally, anything less than 'actively engaged in a an anti-elven war of genocide' is getting too close to the bastards).
>>218976
>Oh, look at me, I use fifty three different words to mean the same thing! Aren't I oh so fucking special!
Elves confirmed for being egotistical faggots who would starve to death while desperately trying to suck their own dicks.
Let's face it, with all the half elves you see running around the world it's not like the elven women are going anywhere near their little meat twigs.
No.218981
>>218979
Silmarils are not just your average shiny. Meanwhile, a dwarf would go after lead if it was shiny enough.
No.218984
>>218980
>blaming elves for your own stupidity
You will get your complaining rights when your species can manage to slay even a minor demon like a balrog.
No.218988
>>218980
>fifty-three
That's one-hundred and twenty, you uncultured swine. And our language is a work of art, instead of your crude, stone-carving, pre-historic scribbles.
No.218989
>>218988
>fifty-three
>Actually no, it's one-hundred and twenty!
So that makes you more than twice the faggot I thought you were.
No.218996
>>218981
Lead is a valuable and useful metal. Of course dwarves want it. Every piece of metal or Gemstone they pull out of the Earth's clutches makes their people's and children's futures that much better.
Meanwhile, the knife eared faggots are busy coming up with yet another way to say "pretty leaves" and patting each other on the back for having the best words.
No.219000
Guys we have to remember that Elves are very useful and needed aspect of the world.
How else are we going to get Elf Bone Greaves or Elf bone bolts?
No.219001
>>219000
Farming. Free range Elves have very brittle bones due to their normal diet being so shitty, but properly raised and fed Elves will have very sturdy skeletons. Not to mention the issues with free range elven breeding that are overcome with artificial insemination on farms.
No.219004
>>219001
That is a fair point you make.
No.219010
I'm actually not sure where this shit came from or why it happens. I've even seen people refuse to let players in because they want to play as an elf, and when they do get to play, they get treated like shit by the rest of the party no matter what they do.
Did someone mix up elves and kender at some point and everyone just went with it?
No.219012
>>219010
Automatically suspect. Because elves are androgynous and marysue fodder.
No.219013
>>219010
Kender are autistic halflings. Elves are either treefags or sophist oldfags, depending on the setting.
Important distinction.
No.219017
>>219013
Honestly some of the best elves are from the Iron Kingdoms setting. For one they can grow beards, and they are performing mage genocide on the humans. They also don't all use bows and stuff, they got rifles, halbards, greatswords, and pistols.
No.219019
>>219017
Holyyy shit, I need to hear more about this.
No.219029
>>219017
>>219019
Seconded. It's not every day that someone breaks away from Tolkien fagelves.
No.219030
>>219019
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Retribution_of_Scyrah
https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Iron_Kingdoms#Elves
The main elf faction for the setting. While it is just that organization doing the mage genocide they are starting to get backing from the government more and more.
The other elves of the setting got attacked by a dragon and now have dragon aids. There are only a few non corrupted ones around now.
No.219034
>>219030
Here are some images of them. They do have a sort of futurestic anime look on their Warjacks given their advanced tech, although they stole the tech from Humans in the first place and the human ones still can outperform an Elven Warjack in many ways.
No.219035
>>219034
oops this should have been the last image
No.219037
>>218789
>white people
>dwarves
I'd love to agree but merkel and Germany
Dwarves would never do that
No.219040
>>219037
Well to be fair they are based on the Jews according to tolkien.
No.219058
>>219037
There are always outliers. Like dwarves who have rare mutations that make them allergic to alcohol or unable to grow a beard. Poor souls.
>>219040
Tolkien dwarves are also only "dwarves" because their Creator god was too weak to make them tall. They barely count as dwarves, for all they try to emulate them.
No.219073
>>219034
Well now, those elegant designs look more than a little familiar. Do they have any other vehicles?
>is good to see them get dirtied up
No.219079
>>219073
Well if you have ever played Warmachine then you will probably know them. They are not vehicles per say but basically war golems.
No.219080
>>219058
>>219037
The dwarves in Iron kingdoms would really tick a lot of TG people off. They are basically the swiss but have the best armor and armored warjacks. The thing that is the most undwarfy though is they shave their beards it looks like.
No.219085
I never understood why Dwarves are popular with the anons of different chans. Don't get me wrong, fuck elves, but Dwarves are like … comic relief? 9 out of 10 times, when I see someone playing a dwarf, they don't know what they're doing, they're full of lolrandumb idiocy, and they can't pay attention.
Dwarves are always played by horrible casuls and "That Guy," so why do anons like them? Have I just had a lifetime of bad luck, do serious, not terrible players play Dwarves?
Also, I can't help but laugh at "proud warrior race" dwarves. Imagine a herd of dwarves waddling around a fight, swinging with their stumpy little arms ineffectively.
No.219091
>>219085
>Dwarves are always played by horrible casuls and "That Guy,"
>so why do anons like them?
Man what's the point in asking a question when you just answered it?
No.219106
>>218984
Hey, my hall has already killed like three demons, and a couple of forgotten beasts, and enough goblins that there's now a specific guild for goblin slayers (my brother in law is a goblin slayer, they could put a bit more work into their crafting, but they're good guys).
If Moria couldn't handle a single demon and one goblin raid then maybe they should have built more floodgates.
Seriously, you find the one Dwarf Fortress that couldn't hack it and think that makes a point. Elves confirmed for having atrophied brains brought about by protein deficient diets and lack of testosterone.
No.219117
>>219080
>Dwarves that shave their beards
No.219126
>>219117
Any Dwarf that shaves is often considered to be literally insane in most settings.
Take GrimGnaw in NWN for example.
That, or that wish spell turned pet turned cosmic Dwarvern boogieman horror gone too far is to blame.
Think Shuma-Gorath but instead of green tentacles it's made out of the fine braided hair of the infinite ammount of Dwarves it has consumed into it's hair weave.
Yes, it is a cosmc horror made out of countless consumed Dwarf Souls that eats, and Parasitic/sybiotically merges with their beards to extend it's being.
Cults dedicated to it's worship open portals to it's realm in Orphanges or otherwise, prominent Dwarvern households with children in which the creatues serevants or avatars proceed to drag teens, adults, and Juveniles alike into it's embrace, which is like medical wire tentacles
No.219198
>>219080
I actually like the swiss and my issues with scubmachine is greater than the races in the system itself.
Quite fond of the Celaphanx myself, well before the stupid heads were elongated to archmagos size
No.219226
>>219198
Honestly I don't really play warmachine much, I just really like the setting.
No.219233
>>218774
Why does everyone go by the tolkenian versions of elves? Other dnd editions make them shorter and more lithe than humans and live lives comparable to dwarves.
Elder scrolls has them being smart assholes that know they're smart. That or woodelves who are generally nice.
No.219240
>>218779
>implying elves are even comparable to humans
DEUS VULT, HERETIC
No.219255
>>219233
Wood elves are cannibals. Elder scrolls do have some good elves though, my favorite being the dark elves.
No.219256
>>219255
Like I said, they're nice people that will have you over for dinner.
also in their home country they may eat people (and be completely carnivorous) but when meeting them on the street they don't spit in your face for looking at them wrong or anything.
No.219408
>>219106
>chase my magic moving stonegates!
No.219419
>>219085
>I never understood why Dwarves are popular with the anons of different chans.
Yje people who like dwarves are manlets irl so they make dwarves out to be awesome in order to become cool by association.
No.219421
>>218808
>whites can't be niggers
What planet are you from?
No.219425
>>219419
Can a man not enjoy the sight of an industrious, stubborn people?
>>219233
Let's not forget the Eldar (both kinds), who have a stronger basis in the Leanan Sidhe and Wild Hunt of old, with only pieces of Tolkein thrown in as the onion.
No.219448
>>219408
>>219408
>Surprise surprise, the elf is good at cherry-picking!
No.219452
>>219448
>Surprise surprise, the dwarf is a retard
No.219477
>ITT: Pitiful smooth-skins embarrassingly bickering between themselves
Shameful display.
No.219481
>>219477
I really hate these humanoid+animal creatures. They're just so bland and boring.
No.219485
I am not sure if my dwarves in Dwarf fortress are dofy or elfy. Since I make huge farms aboveground and below most of the time so I can have a bigger variety of stuff to make booze out of
No.219502
I know it's generalizations, and I really honestly like to believe that this doesn't apply to most of you guys, I've played and had fun with characters of just about every race, but I've also definitely seen some patterns in the type of people that are attracted to playing certain kinds of races.
Elves are almost always played by either relatively new players, or the fat fedora/trenchcoat/katana types that want to be both SJWfags but also dark brooding edgelord antiheroes.
Dwarfs attract hyperbetas that over compensate by trying too hard to not try hard. They're usually the lol chaoticrandumb asshats that like to derail games, and act like they're in guildchat playing on an MMO.
Furry/Scaly/Monsters tend to attract the worst of the worst. The full on social retards. Types without any self-awareness who are completely oblivious to just how cringey they are. Like People of Walmart bad. I'm talking Chrischan levels of "how can this fucking Morlock not realize how embarrassing he is?"
These are just generalities, and I've seen elves who weren't marysues, and gnolls who were played by relatively normal human beings. But that pattern is definitely there. The more pathetic and genetically deficient excuse for a human the player is, the further away from a human they are likely to be playing as.
No.219517
>>219513
It's not an ad hominen if just stating the truth
No.219520
>>219517
It doesn't address the argument being made- so actually,yeah, it is an ad hominem (ad dwarfinem?).
If I had made a retarded argument then you would be attacking that. As you have decided not to attack the argument but rather to attack the dwarf making the argument all you achieve is showing everyone that you cannot find a problem with the argument made against you and are desperate to draw attention away from that by attacking the person making the argument. It's not succeeding by the way.
The attempt to say "nuh uh, it's not ad hom 'cos you r retard" isn't even wrong.
*puts on dwarven sunglasses*
Lrn 2 rhetoric and argument noob.
No.219523
>>219520
If so, than he was guilty of poor rhetoric first.
No.219525
>>219523
So your entire position boils down to
NO U!
No.219528
>>219525
I'm just answering in kind.
No.219530
>>219528
Your troll-fu is weak youngling.
No.219546
>>219530
Well, I'm not a relative to trolls. Unlike Dwarfs….
No.219555
>>219546
Listen to my words lad, you might just learn something.
Supreme mastery consists of maximising the enemy's butthurt, in trolling without trolling.
Think on this idea. It will help you.
No.219558
No.219562
>>219558
Nobody, because you are unable to troll.
No.219563
>>219562
Am I the only one?
No.219565
>>219563
In this thread, pretty much.
In general, don't worry, there's a large number of people who share your condition.
No.219566
>>219565
>my condition
Implying it's a intrinsically bad thing
No.219576
>>219566
Putting your dubs aside for a moment, I would say that a moderate to severe case of "can't trollitis" is a relatively serious and negative condition.
No.219820
How about you bunch of homos shut up and post more delicious brown elves.
No.219828
>>218774
THIS IS NOW AN ORC THREAD
No.219829
>>219576
Being unable or unwilling to immediately shift from a mediocre argument to a deliberately terrible argument isn't usually a desirable trait.
No.219835
>>218774
>extra long lives
Unless I murder you.
>the greatest food
Keep your gourmet elven shite, milksop. I got meat, beer and bread (the food of a true orc warrior)
>most beautiful women on the planet
Don't be discounting our green-skinned beauties. Or alternatively, I can just rape an elf wench. Or fuck your skull after I cut your pointy-eared head from your skinny neck.
KILL, LOOT, BURN! ALL THAT IS YOURS WE TAKE FROM YOUR CORPSE! ORCS! ORCS! ORCS! WAAAAAAAAAGH!
No.219856
File: 1455819310899.png (1.04 MB, 1016x1200, 127:150, orc_cook_by_furious_panda-….png)
>>219835
Oi, don't knock elf food til ya try it. Elves taste far better than dwarves an humans do!
No.219876
Oy! We 'ere gonna krump some pointies nice and propa?!
No.219881
>>219126
>it's
>it's
>it's
>FUCKING IT'S
Good job, I'm triggered.
No.219976
>>219828
>Be a human bard
>Use my magic to put male orcs to sleep while I seduce their female orcs
>Orcs are so stupid that they don't realize they've been cucked when their wives' babies come out looking somewhat human
No.219980
>>219828
Question, how does an orc taste like? I know humans varies on flavor depending on their diet and tend to have tough meat also depending on their lifestyle. Elven race have a taste similar to chickens and their meat is soft with all variant of elf. But i wonder if it worth the effort of eating an orc, i do beat that their souls also taste different from other races too; demon souls and monster souls tend to give me bad gas afterward.
No.219986
>>219980
Orc meats is a bit like pork but wif a bit of a fishy taste to it. Real tough an slightly greasy but good fa chewin fer a while. Tastes pretty much the same as goblin, but not as stringy.
No.220030
>>219976
>be orc
>come home to find human male in my house
>politely inquire about this imposter's business
>he smirks and claims to be looking for my wife
>before I can do anything he whips out a lute and starts strumming it
>feel confused and groggy
>he shines me a perfect winning smile
>stab him
>give his head to my wife as a present
>we fuck
>later ask around in tavern for human male bard
>only get stories about "This one arsehole who keeps trying to seduce our wives with his shitty music"
>show them head
>"Yeah, that's the guy. Kill him, did you? Was he trying to fuck your wife?"
>confused
>leave
>see human female crying outside
>blonde, fairly tall, 8/10
>ask her why she cries
>says her husband is missing
>tell her I well help her search (never refuse a quest issued by a lady, even a human)
>Tell her we should repair to her home in order to plan our search
>She gives me a winsome smile
>Think nothing of it
>At her home, she describes her husband
>Produce head from bag
>Rape her
>Kill her
>leave
>mfw this whole episode
No.223428
More delicious brown elves?
More delicious brown elves.
No.223429
>>223428
Not nearly enough brown elves in this thread.
No.223431
File: 1457093901468-0.jpg (Spoiler Image, 190.2 KB, 720x1000, 18:25, sexy brown elves variant.jpg)
File: 1457093901468-2.jpg (Spoiler Image, 303.09 KB, 1000x1152, 125:144, sex brown elves 3.jpg)
File: 1457093901469-4.jpg (Spoiler Image, 110.41 KB, 664x1063, 664:1063, calendar brown elf.jpg)
No.223459