No.220238
>All dwarf species across countless realms are the most intelligent race in their worlds
>Invents some of the most destructive or amazing weapons and inventions ever conceived
>Has complete control over the foundations on which surface dweller societies stand
>strongest and most muscular upper bodies of almost any race
>Most glorious fucking beards of any mortal race
>crafts the most impressive and stunning armors known in their worlds
>masters of the forge
>makers of the greatest fucking ale ever
>makes slaves of the loser races without pussyfied remorse
>87% of the time is always the first race to achieve flight and space travel
>never makes up biased statistics
>the most materially rich motherfuckers in the majority of existence with majority control of worldly ores and resources
>makes orcs their pets
>makes men their lackeys
>makes elves their bitches
>makes elves their slaves
>makes elver their dinner
>makes elves their toilets
>makes elves their fertilizer
>makes killing elves their national sport
Dwarves are the true fucking master ace of any and every world and anyone who says otherwise is retarded or is a member of a lesser race which are all retarded.
This is not a fucking Dwarf Fortress thread you autistic homos.
No.220240
>>220238
DORF FORT THREAD? :D
No.220245
>>220240
That shit was made by a fucking human twat who was literally gay for elves and just wanted to make a game were you treat dwarf kind like your slave.
No.220246
>technological headstart = smartest/best weapons and they're fucked when the humies inevitably catch up and adopt ballistics technology of their own
>cave in the topsoil and they're exposed to the world like the basement dwellers they are
>implying their upper-bodies mean dick when they can't reach anything
>but muh beard
>implying that armor will mean shit when a dragon comes a-knockin'
>but muh rotgut
>implying they can enslave anything that isn't themselves when they can't reach high enough to put a collar on an elf without a stool
>again, technological headstart
>the type of race that would put out a survey about how great dwarves are to only dwarves, exclude the four votes that they're not all that, and point to it as evidence dwarves are great isn't biased
>nurrrr it's so easy to find gold when we live underground blessed be the gods for this wealth
>implying they won't be killed while masturbating after vastly underestimating what their slaves can do because of their "natural" superiority
whatever you say dwarf
No.220247
>>220246
>implying technological headstart =/= obviously superior mind with a better grasp of technology and native world physics
>implying dwarves live only underground and don't make some of the most glorious fortresses among the mountains the world has ever seen
>babyfaced human talking shit about the beard when he can't even grow peach fuzz
>implying our armor can't resist the heat of an over glorified flying lizard
>man being this jelly about his inability to resist the heat of a mighty magma forge
>implying your twiggy bones don't make it easy for us to smash your legs and force you to kneel before us
>again, technological headstart = obviously superior mind with a better grasp of technology and native world physics
>implying ours was a survey and not a long and arduous study made possible by our advanced surveillance units and magicks keeping track on all you loathsome surface dwellers where we witnessed first hand how fucking worthless you all are
>being this jelly over not being blessed with easy access to the finest, richest and most durable oars ever conceived in the molten cores
>implying our moronic slaves don't live off a strict diet of poison mushrooms that numbs their senses and retards their intelligence to the point where they can only perform menial tasks and janitorial duties
whatever you say man
No.220248
>>220247
>having more time to devote to science because you're not fighting for your life, glory and your kingdom on the surface = nurrrrr dwarf brains is better
>implying they don't hollow out the mountain to live in it anyway while leaving castles and fortresses on the outside to give the illusion of being able to tolerate the sun without shrieking in agony to the surface-dwellers
>assmad beard fetishist doesn't realize it's all in the shape of the jaw and covers his weak chin with hair
>implying you won't roast alive in that armor
>needing a volcano to forge anything
>needing to break your opponent's legs to have a fair chance
>nurrrrrr
>still being this salty that even orcs know how rigged that "study" was when they can't tell their asses from holes in the ground most days
>easy access to materials for a culture that supposedly prides itself on hard labor and carving one's way through the world
>superior race needing to lobotomize their slaves to keep them in check
one day dwarves will invent the internet and then truly become the piss-bottle neets they always were
No.220249
>>220246
>>220247
>dwarven bottom feeders who are basically meddlesome rodents who do nothing but eat dirt all day and fight amongst themselves actually think the tripe they're saying matters
>man insects who are basically gluttonous ants who do nothing but eat and steal from each other all day think the tripe they're saying matters
>mfw these filthy and unbathed mortal races think their insignificant and petty antics matter in the face of elf kind
Absolutely pathetic.
No.220251
>>220249
>hedonistic elf queers who spend their lives fucking plants and deer while hiding in the forest because they know full well that they're nothing but soulless pansies think their opinion matters to the races who actually don't run away from war and adventure and have the balls to fight in close combat
Elves are a joke. Even goblins somehow manage to look down on you. If there's one thing all other races can agree on, it's that elf shits ain't worth shit.
No.220253
>>220249
>elves who are constantly fucking dying in every setting where they show up and somehow have their heads so far up their asses as to say they're superior when they're dying and doing nothing about it while all the other races flourish
>even orks have better survival skills than a "muh harmonious nature" race
You'll live on through humans taking your women and interbreeding so fiercely they gain your extended lifespans while leaving nothing of your legacy.
No.220254
>>220253
Fuck oomies. Let's take der wimmin fur ourselves.
No.220256
>>220254
Nah m8, dem 'umies proved demselves good alloys bifore. Mebbe we just rape an' pillage one or two of dose outskirts villages instead.
No.220259
>>220238
>87% of the time is always the first race to achieve flight and space travel
Isn't that gnomes who are the more techno-savvy?
No.220261
>>220259
Nah. Those are just dwarves who are mistaken for gnomes. Gnomes are shorter and nature loving little fruits like the elves and they're huge fucking cowards. Now stop taking your lore solely from WoW. Gnomes are to Elves what Halflings are to Men. As such genocide is required for these little stools.
No.220262
>>220238
Also, if Dwarves are so great, why does, 80% of the time, humanity control the majority of the world?
Face it, without us, you bearded midgets would starve out for lack of trade. We're the only ones keeping you up enough that you can dick around. Meanwhile, humanity takes each and every one of your shitty inventions, makes it useful, and then mass produces it issuing it to countless soldiers across countless boarders.
Dwarves are basically our weird cousins who live in the basement and occasionally write a good story that we take and sell.
No.220263
File: 1455976731424.jpg (57.19 KB, 672x950, 336:475, 8caf57e03c77cf71dc7d8b3f8a….jpg)
>>220261
my lore mainly comes from Runescape, actually. Probably a little worse.
Also, I thought that was hobbits.
Gnomes, I thought, were the loony clockmaker types that build all sorts of fancysmancy tech. Like weird gear-powered flappy DaVinci flying machines.
I guess if you count massive amounts of explosives used to propel someone, dwarves've learned to fly too, but it strikes me a tad less practical.
No.220265
>>220263
Nah, hobbits aren't nature loving. They're just lazy little fuckers who are less violent humans and drink all day, basically having habits of both man and dwarf. Again Runescape and WoW mean jack shit. Gnomes have always been dirty little short elves who play pranks and hug trees.
No.220266
>>220262
>implying that while your surface empire grows dwarves haven't already taken over the entire of the underground and can easily topple your cities by hollowing out the foundation with explosives
Just keep tending to the farms and copying the tech we toss in the garbage like the scroungers you are, man/half-orc/halfling/whateverthefuckyouare
No.220269
>>220266
>cave-in a capital city of one of the other races because you're a cocksucker
>now you have some very upset gods and paladins to deal with
No.220271
>>220268
>little human expects to be taken seriously while he and the little dwarves play verbal fisticuffs
No.220273
>>220266
>cave in major city
>Meanwhile 50 other cities hear of it, get pissy, and come to curbstomp your tiny ass.
Besides that
>destroying the only thing keeping your shitty caves running.
No.220275
>>220247
>implying our moronic slaves don't live off a strict diet of poison mushrooms that numbs their senses and retards their intelligence to the point where they can only perform menial tasks and janitorial duties
This is a really bad idea, you know. They'd be barely able to do as much as janitorial duties. And that'd be horribly inefficient at that.
The costs of maintaining a slave is hardly worth that horribly minor and altogether shitty labor.
No.220285
>humanoid races think they matter
>not knowing they are all our cattle
>Not knowing we keep them around to largely eat, and take there gold.
No.220296
>>220275
Actually it doesn't cost us anything. The glowing fungi is pretty damn common to the point of it being a pest and the poison isn't lethal and mental retardation only limits to the point of making complex thought. They can still follow basic instructions and clean up materials. It hardly feels like retardation and more like disabling free will.
No.220300
>>220296
>being proud of employing retards
No.220303
>>220265
Actually gnomes in a lot of settings are pretty advance, for instance you have Forgotten realms, they are the race that made gunpowder and the island of Lantarn has blimps and is very steampunky.
Gnomish clocks are a pretty big thing and they also invented the printing press in the setting.
No.220311
>>220300
Its not employment if they only get paid in poison mushrooms that grow fucking everywhere.
No.220329
Fat neckbeards identify with dwarves because it makes them feel better about being fat neckbeards.
No.220333
>>220238
So, if Dwarves are the most intelligent, does that mean they're all alcoholics to stave off the endless existential crisis and maddening true self-awareness that comes from being intelligent?
No.220340
>>220333
The most intelligent people don't drink alcohol or do drugs. Pic related.
No.220342
>You all thought we were a joke.
>For a while you treated us as little better than monsters.
>You didn't realise that all along, we were planning, building, preparing.
>You won't have any idea what hit you when our elite prank and practical joke squads strike at your cities, your centers of government, your religious sites.
>You'll still be torn between "wait, wtf just happened?" and laughter when our construct army batters down your walls and starts to kill.
Just remember, you can't spell 'Slaughter' without 'laughter'.
No.220374
>>220342
>Building an army that can be wiped out by a single rust monster in heat
We'll be laughing, but not for the reason you think.
No.220396
>>220342
Stealing this pic for a character. Always wanted to play a Gnome. A Gnome Noble Duelist is abnormal (or maybe a spell-sword or shadow dancer), but I'll try it.
>>220374
Not if the rust monster is too busy eating a tree that it thinks is metal.
Any good trick or illusion needs some reality to it to make it seem more real.
Soon you'll second guess, "which ones are actually using real swords?" "Which one of the harmless flasks is actually a bomb"
I'll give you a hint: When you thought we had fake ones, we made them all real. When you thought they were fake, we threw in some fake ones.
Do you think that water isn't piss?
No.220412
>>220374
Wouldnt most armies be in trouble if they fought rust monsters? Even elves use metal swords, armor, and arrowheads. The only race that would be alright would probably be trents.
No.220427
>>220412
Loosing your weapon and your soldier's chests suddenly disintegrating are very different things, and clockwork infantry likely wouldn't have the intelligence to react tactically so such a specific threat.
No.220436
>>220342
>Gnomes thinking they can be taken seriously
No.220437
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>220374
>using rust monsters
No.220438
>>220396
>A Gnome Noble Duelist is abnormal (or maybe a spell-sword or shadow dancer), but I'll try it.
Its abnormal for a reason. Enjoy getting stepped on by an ogre you tiny twat.
No.220461
WE ARE THE ONES WHO KEEP THE FIRES OF THE WORLD BURNING
WE ARE THE ONES THAT KEEPS YOUR WORLD TURNING
WE ARE THE ONES WHO CARVE OUT THE MOUNTAINS
WE ARE DWARFS.
WE ARE PROUD.
FIRE FORGED GLORY TO OUR KIN!
No.220477
>>220436
Say that to my face, not online, see what happens.
No.220483
>>220477
We can't say it to your face, because you fuckers are so damn short.
No.220486
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>220461
Aye! Sing it brother!
No.220489
>>220296
Right, because food is the only costs to slaves.
Oh, wait, no that's completely wrong.
Fuckin' dwarves, don't understand the basics of economy. No wonder all you shits do is throw out a constant barrage of horribly underpriced goods that the humans take, laugh, and then sell for eight times that some place else.
Guess there's a reason one race lives in the basement, and the other stretches to the farthest reaches of the world.
No.220496
>>220374
> rust monster in heat
Wait.
How?
Do they eat bikini armour?
No.220498
>>220496
Aren't those things bugs?
I'd still fuck it.
No.220501
Best banter of any thread on 8chan.
No.220502
>>220489
>implying we pay for anything for our slaves
>implying that when they die we don't have their own slave kin toss them into the lava pits
>implying they don't clean their own waste
>implying any of this costs us a coin
>can't make your own goods so you steal from the dwarves
Have some more of our trash lesser race if you love collecting it so much. Even your most priceless gems are like common pebbles to our kind so no loss here.
No.220503
>>220502
A bunch of raving retards having to care for themselves on top of everything else are hardly going to do anything but clog up traffic ways, then. There's literally no point, since they can't do hardly any work being mentally broke, have to constantly clean up after themselves incompetently being mentally broke, having to constantly deal with dead colleges who died due to being mentally broke, who are taken care of incompetently due to being mentally broke.
Plus, where do they sleep? On the floor? More clogging of the roadways, then. That's sure helpful.
>implying we trade you gems
>implying we don't sell you our shittiest crops and worst meats
>implying we don't laugh as you pay a pile of swords and armor for a sack of corn
>implying we don't sell you our shittiest famished cow for a sack full of gems we can sell for entire continents of territory
No.220516
>>220483
>Not realising that Gnomes are actually at the perfect height to headbutt you god damned bigguns' in the crotch whenever we please.
Say that to me one more time, motherfucker.
No.220518
>>220483
Also, check my fucking dubs!
No.220523
>>220272
What's this from?
No.221521
>>220238
Do you know dorfes are in game personification of jews?
-Control economy
-Short
-Big noses
-Beards
Think about it anon, think…
No.221533
>filthy smoothies arguing amongst themselves
Hue
No.221562
>>221533
Says the guy hanging on proper dragon's coattails.
How's it feel knowing nobody will ever think of you as anything other than a half dragon.
No.221573
>>221562
Half dragon?
Nah this guy's an oversized kobald without the redeeming qualities of one
No.221621
As a male human, I get to not be midget, I can make females feel small, and I don't waddle. The combination of not waddling, longer reach, and not being a joke race Tolkien designed as comic relief means that I would win in a fight against against stunties. But stunties that aren't played by lolsorandumb retards can be cool bros, so I'd rather lose a drinking contest with them, than win a fight against them.
No.221651
>>221533
you fucking idiot
No.221653
>Could steamroll the whole world if they weren't so lazy and disorganized
>Eat elves, dwarfs, men and anything with a pulse for breakfast
TOP OF THE FOOD CHAIN BITCHES!!!!
No.221656
>>221521
-hardworking
-decent people
-not trying to fuck over other societies
-not pushing a global grievance narrative
and just like that it falls apart.
No.221657
In my mind Dwarves are Middle-Eastern Mountain Jews
Tolkien said so
No.221658
>>221653
>Could steamroll the whole world if they weren't so lazy and disorganized
Hahahahahahahahahahaha, no.
>Eat elves, dwarfs, men and anything with a pulse for breakfast
So your primary source of food is also the species most likely to fuck up your shit. You know that does help explain how you bastards stay so fucking primitive - you've got to dedicate so much time and energy to just 'not starving at this precise moment in time' that you can't ever hope to develop as a society.
I tell you what, little doggy, let's try your shitty little species submitting to human rule, and we'll start training and selectively breeding you as pets and domesticated/working animals you'll start to get better. After a few hundred generations of being owned as our pets you might even amount to something, not much, but something.
No.221659
>>221653
Where is your containment thread, for fuck's sake?
No.221663
>>221635
I know a guy resembling the dorf but he plays lizardmen in warhammer. I also knew another guy looking like a dorf and he was playing dorves.
No.221681
>>221658
If you're so superior, Anon, how come you don't get there and subjugate them?
Me thinks that you just caaaaan't…
No.221695
>>221659
Wew anon, if you can't handle some shit flinging stay out of the chans.
No.221706
I had a session yesterday that I think you guys will like.
Party consists of:
>Me, Dwarf Rouge with grenadier approach to combat, specked stealth abilities to fuck and back.
>Fighter, half-elf male spartan tank.
>Male ranger, elf, all about the ranged abilities.
>Female ranger, half elf, animal control specs.
>Sorceress, Mostly DPS with a few utility spells.
Last session, we had left off outside a giant goblin horde encampment. Hundreds of greenskins under the command of a hobgoblin warlord, who has a posse of bugbears to keep the goblins in line. We had lost two of our players, human wizard and elf rouge. Our Fighter and the pet owlbear the female ranger had were taken captive by the greenskins during our retreat. The party is bloodied and low on supplies.
cont.
No.221707
>>221706
>Party is freaking out, doesnt want to lose our tank or the owlbear.
>I observe the camp. Its in a freshly cut logging field with stumps that have not yet been removed.
>Order Male Ranger into a tree to watch my back as I cover myself in mud and drop all the heavy shit I have on my except my light armor and weapons.
>Cover self in mud and crawl across the field, avoiding patrols of goblins near the camp.
>Look under the edge of a tent. Its early morning so there are tons of greenskins piled up sleeping in squalor.
>Crawl in and spread oil around the tend and on the greenskins.
>Light a torch, toss it on a pile of cloth, and bolt to the back of the nearest tent.
>Slowly GTFAway from the soon-to-be-burning tent.
>Greenskins start cooking and run screaming into the camp, lighting more tents on fire.
>Make my way toward the center of the camp where there is a huge long-tent.
No.221708
>>221707
To this point, the dice gods have been rolling with me, but that is about to change.
>get the the back of the tent nearest to the long-tent.
>greenskins are out in force now, its pandemonium, with fire spreading through the camp.
>A trio of goblins runs out of the tent and I barely make a roll to hide around the back of the tent.
>When I get there, start to cut a hole in the tent so i can sneak inside.
>Lone goblin outside sees me. I instantly throw knife, hits him in the abdomen, he is beginning to scream as I throw my last knife.
>nat 20
>knife embeds itself in the goblin's throat and he dies.
>Trio of goblins heard the goblin anyway, I dive through the hole in the side of the tent.
>crit fail.
>knock down side of tent, goblins see me, surround tent.
>Get up, light torch, set fire to tent, run out the front of the tent.
>Beam the goblin in front of the tent with the torch, book it to the long-tent.
No.221709
>>221708
It should be mentioned that the rest of my party was rolling utter horse shit. They tried to cover me with arrows and distract the horde with magic, but most of it failed. They did manage to replicate the sound of wardrums in the forest on the other side of the camp from me, which drew most the greenskins that were not dealing with the fire toward it.
>Arrow is shot at the goblins pursuing me, misses them, embeds itself in my shoulder.
>Thanks for that.
>Throw the last of my oil on the torch, setting a patch of ground ablaze between the goblins and me.
>Inside the long-tent are a bunch of prisoners being tortured for information and fun. Greenskin jailer doesn't immediately see me, but I am out of weapons.
>Ready a vial of poison, break it over his face like a beer bottle as he turns to face me. stab him with his own sword.
>Manage to cut Fighter free as greenskins finally catch up to me.
>Give Fighter the sword, find a torture device with a sharp edge. Cut one of the prisoners free, then turn to face the greenskins.
>Fighter has no armor, no shield, and is not hitting shit. I gave him a few potions but hes still not in a good spot.
>I single-handedly kill all but one of the goblins that show up during the rescue. Fighter eventually hits one.
>I have killed 10 goblins at this point. Covered in mud, greenskin blood, and have an arrow in my shoulder. The last two goblins are staring at me as I kill one of their companions, then turn and bellow at them, blood-lust in my eyes.
>One greenskin books it, the other collapses to his knees in fear, and I run a sword through his heart.
>Everyone is free, I cut a hole in the side of the tent, then flee with prisoners and Fighter.
No.221710
>>221709
>Hear Howl, turn to see Warg Rider and a few wolves booking it at us.
>Ranger misses again. I take his bow, tell him to set the forest ablaze and flee toward our camp with the prisoners.
>Sink two arrows into the wargs before they are close enough to hit. Last arrow hits the goblin dead to rights.
>Move into the now burning brush and run like fuck.
>Party takes off, Wargs and Wolves follow me.
>Run around in the inferno, downing health pots and taking potshots with the bow when I can.
>Eventually outlast the wolves and wargs that flee due to fire.
>After the party has gathered at our camp with the prisoners, I saunter out of the woods covered in caked mud, ash, singed clothing, and lots of blood.
To this point, I had not done much, and the party had been making fun of me for being useless since I didnt use too many bombs (expensive as hell!) and had been hurt quite a bit.
>Go back to camp
>Get completely hammered and fall asleep knowing that when I get back to the village, I am going to ravage every singe dwarven floozy I can find.
Elves aint got shit on me.
No.221711
No.221735
>>221573
You're probably right. Though, they are stronger than your typical kobold.
Still, they'll never be as cute.
No.221737
File: 1456514626723.jpg (65.99 KB, 224x335, 224:335, 384f6ecc161f6a009b5cd699b2….jpg)
>>221635
It's funny, my experience is the opposite.
It's the tall guys what always play dwarves.
No.221757
>>221681
Why would we bother? Another species of pre-agricultural savages; what do you think that's worth to us?
If you were actually a hassle that might warrant a campaign of containment or good old fashioned extermination - but as it stands more humans die each year from wardrobe malfunctions than Gnoll attacks, you're just not worth the effort at the moment.
No.221766
>>221737
My experience definitely matches that picture. It's a generality, not a rule, but Dwarf players tend to be short, round neckbeards. Generally jokers that have trouble focusing, especially when following the plot, and like to be disruptive. The kind of people who probably like Gnome tanks in WoW because "lol so wacky," but they can also be pretty decent if they're reigned in.
Elf players tend to be weeaboos or trenchcoat, fedora, katana fags. They're more socially retarded, on average, than dorf players, but they're a little less disruptive. Not bad, but you feel a kind of second hand embarrassment on their behalf, even if you can't put it into words. And they almost always are the type that know less than they think they think they know, and are often argumentative. They always seem to be trying to sound intelligent, but just aren't very good at it.
Scaly/Furry players are the absolute worst (generally), and I don't even dislike them because of their weird sexual tastes. They're unpalatable because their social retardation levels are off the charts. And they usually look more like caricatures than actual human beings.
All just stereotypes and not a rule, but there is a definite pattern.
No.221796
>>221533
>>221653
>>221694
>mindless beasts and soulless tin cans thinking their opinions matter
No.221798
>all these faggots thinking they're hot shit with their single appearance
I don't even want to imagine what it's like not to be able to change how you look whenever you want.
No.221800
>>221798
>I don't even want to imagine what it's like not to be able to change how you look whenever you want.
Aww man, you wouldn't believe how cool it is to like who you are and be comfortable with yourself.
No.221805
File: 1456537058940.jpg (110.69 KB, 900x1436, 225:359, doppelganger_by_prodigyduc….jpg)
>>221800
>implying that shape changing doesn't just mean there's more self to be comfortable with
No.221809
>>221796
>Cactus thinks he has the right to laugh at anyone
This nigger can't even hug his loved ones. How sad is that?
No.221811
>believing in personal property
>[current year]
No.221812
>>221809
He probably won't answer you. I think he ran away.
No.221840
>>221798
>>221805
If that's so, then what've you got for a civilization, huh? I'll tell you what, a complete patchwork quilt of nothing original.
shapeshifters amazing waifus though
No.221849
>>220238
>All dwarf species across countless realms are the most intelligent race in their worlds
I can't think of any systems or editions where Dwarves get bonuses to the Intelligence stat, but I can think of a few where they get penalties.
>Has complete control over the foundations on which surface dweller societies stand
Dorfs have some mountains, but they definitely don't control the underdark.
>strongest and most muscular upper bodies of almost any race
I've only ever seen systems where some dwarves are as strong as humans, definitely not at the top though, which makes sense considering they're midgets.
>crafts the most impressive and stunning armors known in their worlds
Actually that's usually elfysues.
>masters of the forge
Elfysues again.
>87% of the time is always the first race to achieve flight and space travel
That's some nice assmath you just pulled out there.
>never makes up biased statistics
Oh.
>makes elver their dinner
>Penalty to mental stats.
Dwarves are okay little fellas, but master race status is completely out of their reach, up on the high shelf, where the adults keep things.
No.221850
>>221840
But anon, that's the best kind of civilization.
No.221851
>>221811
>Gather up all the Kender
>Dump them on a giant island all for themselves, like Australia
>They try to establish a society with their stupid behaviour
>People become depressed because anything they work for might be taken and they're meant to be happy about it
>Those who don't work except to be thieves are the happiest in all of their society because they take what they want
>Nobody wants to work
>Everybody just wants to steal
>No one to steal from
>Society collapses
>Kender die out
Literally inferior to and more annoying than kobolds.
No.221852
>>221850
Very funny. Don't think you chameleons would take assassination and espionage jobs if you actually ran the place. Can you even bank?
…Do you make good doctors?
No.221853
>>221852
Nah, we just take those jobs because we are easily the best at them. Only the highly skilled and/or clever ones get to make it to the top and run things. The world is a hierarchy, and we have to conform to that if we want our population to grow without you lot noticing.
>Can you even bank?
>…Do you make good doctors?
We're more intelligent than most, so yes. Not that we really need to do that, when we can communicate with each other secretly and arrange for traceless shifts in wealth. We mostly use medicine to treat our own. If one of our doctors treats a lesser race, you can bet we'll be taking full advantage of that situation.
No.221854
>>221852
They make great lawyers and they control the media
No.221867
>>221853
>>221854
Evidently not that clever, given how you're whisper-gloating.
So. It's likely that a few courts have a Court Doppleganger as either a doctor or a chief financier, if not spymaster. That sounds about right.
You must also be in high demand for courtesans.
spot the history reference
No.221905
>>221853
This is going to be an oglaf situation where you all turn out to be screwing each other over without realising
No.222186
>>221850
Around a Doppel, expect trouble.
No.222239
>>221809
>cactus
Fuck, that was supposed to be an image of an orcish keker
No.222271
File: 1456704802893.png (516.36 KB, 746x850, 373:425, gnoll_png_by_johnnymorrow-….png)
>>221658
LOL
>Human politely asks gnolls to submit to them
This is why no one takes you seriously human. You are too busy with political intrigue and formality to actually take what you want. I always laugh at how the newly captured human slaves expect even a scrap of mercy. Then I eat them.
Gnolls don't submit, we conquer. We don't waste our lives building castles in the sand, we take what we want and wreck shit. If you and the dwarfs and elves are so superior how come you can't wipe us out? Should be easy with all of your gay little gadgets. Oh yeah that's right, because for all of your toys and arrogance you are short and weak compared to even a gnoll runt.
>>221694
Cool sword. I will enjoy prying it from your cold dead hands and adding it to my collection.
>>221798
>Gnoll clan member goes out to take a piss
>Comes back later
>Doesn't smell the same
>Smells like outsider
>Tries to use words instead of violence when his identity is questioned
>Killed on the spot by the tribe
>Reverts back into doppleganger
>laughinggnolls.jpg
Better luck next time Dopplefaggot. Your tricks might work on the inferior races but you can't fool us.
No.222373
>>222271
Dobbles have a mind-scan and scent fooling shape-shifting you moron.
No.222429
>>222271
>Gnolls don't submit, we conquer.
Hahahahahahahaha, no you don't. I know you're just a gnoll, so I'll explain this slowly for you.
Conquer, verb: To overcome and take control of (a place or people) by military force.
Gnolls. Don't. Do. That.
You're barely operating at the levels of low end bandits. You hit a farm, maybe a small village, take things, eat people AND THEN YOU RUN BACK TO YOUR CAVES. This is also why you're not enough of a problem for it to be worth our time to do more than offer you a place as our slaves. It's actually slightly advantageous for our society that you continue your chickenshit 'raids' - it helps us keep people moving from the densely populated central areas to the less populated rural environments. It also gives us a way to dispose of the lower end 'adventurers' who crop up from time to time (you let too many of them settle in one area and it always leads to administrative trouble).
I tell you what, set up a Gnoll society, a kingdom, a nation, even just a barbaric fiefdom and then come talk to me. Until then just relax and accept that you're a pre-agricultural society of barely sentient beastmen, and best dealt with as an animal.
No.222438
>>221809
>This nigger can't even hug his loved ones. How sad is that?
In a society without hugs, the only thing they can feel is cold, genocidal hatred.
No.222485
>>222271
Please. Not even Orcs die in droves as much as you do when your "people" get "ambitious." At least they can create barbaric empires built around pillage, intimidation, and spreading their seed. It's why they're feared. You wander around the savannah at subsistence level, just a scattered bunch of unpleasant tribes that a posse of farmers can drive off with a bow..
Proteus, we're not finished, get back here!
No.222489
>>222271
Do you fucks even understand metal working?
You don't seem to be able to make clothes, you are incapable of running a kingdom and even the hobgrots actually have better more threatening kingdoms than you.
I'm surprised the humans have problems with you at all, you're a bunch of shit coated bi-pedal hyenas. nothing but scavengers, gladly gobbled up the half chewed left overs of superior races.
TO THE OVENS WITH YOU
No.222544
>>222489
According to the Dwarvern accountants that wander through every so often, it would actually cost us more to hire adventurers to deal with the Gnolls than gp value of the property the hyenas steal and destroy, so no one's bothered.
No.222551
>>222271
At least our society doesn't establish hierarchy by fucking each other up the ass.
No.222572
>>222551
Isn't that the Drow? Or was that the Ottoman court?
No.222591
>>222551
Dude, come on, they're Gnolls. It's a minor miracle they were intelligent enough to figure out reproductive sex - expecting them to work out the finer points of the mechanics behind anal is just unfair, their little doggy brains just can't handle it! that being said, I recently attended a lecture given by a human wizard who had been studying Gnoll society for a few years, there were several instances of what he referred to as "erroneous anal" where the male either mistook another male for a female, or just missed the right hole all together
No.222623
>>222591
>or just missed the right hole all together
What?
No.222632
>>222572
Let's not even get started on the case study of why you do not want a god paying too much attention to your society
No.222701
>>220238
Not posting glorious dwarf .webm
No.222751
>>222623
Don't worry kid, you'll work it out when you're old enough
No.222939
>>220246
>>technological headstart = smartest/best weapons and they're fucked when the humies inevitably catch up and adopt ballistics technology of their own
There's also always economics, and metalworking just doesn't go away. And once you have specialists in this, neither do they.
Ever read the Witcher series? Why there's very few bearded folk among the Squirrels? "If some human guilds have problem with us, we can always found our own". "Be nice with Mahakam or fight with donkey jaws".
No.222988
File: 1456946996262.jpg (118.21 KB, 1163x988, 1163:988, The Dwarf of approval look….jpg)
No.225333
>>222373
>implying Gnolls can't instantly smell even the smallest foreign scents on a filthy doppel and devour them instantly by this single give away alone no matter how well masked a doppel's scent is
Fucking pleb.
No.225343
Any race posting in this thread is equally autistic
and equally inferior to the giants who make better armor than the dwarves, better art than the elves and better philosophers and leaders than men
No.225344
>>225343
not to mention we're taller than all of them combined.
No.225570
>>225343
Well most giant races are just bigger versions of those races. Fire Giants are clearly dwarves. Argument invalid.
No.225571
>>225333
Tiamat below, there's nothing sadder than a shameless gnollfag.
No.225672
>>225570
Jokes on you, giants have their own social order of giants and storm giants are still the king of all giants including fire giants.
Even if your bullshit argument were true, dwarves still would be underneath others.
No.226012
YouTube embed. Click thumbnail to play.
>>225672
>Fire Giants aka Dwarf Giants are still above Hill Giants and giantkin, the giant equivalent of the race of Man
Storm and Cloud Giants are basically the giant equivalent of elves. Thinking themselves all posh and mighty when really they just need a good thrashing from Fire Giants, just likes Elves need a good thrashing from Dwarves.
No.226016
>>225343
>Better armour
Where do they find all the materials?
No.226036
>>226012
>other than the fact that storm giants rule over fire giants by being more powerful and better
Are you saying the elves rule over you as well little dwarf?
>>226016
>materials
Manual says they create giant iron factories in volcanic areas and get materials from lava and shit.
No.226053
>>220246
>>220248
Bro please stop, you're burning the dwarfs so bad that you're stealing the dragon's job.
No.226129
>>226036
Of course not, but they think they do just because they have Man in their frilly pockets. Same goes for the fucking giant hierarchy, you fucking dendrophile.
No.226165
>>226129
>rampant delusions of grandeur: the post
Oh yeah, sure. Assembly line workers and engineers are the true leaders of the world.
No.228796
Is it possible (and is there any point to try) to get more DFY than Dorf Fortress?
>>202895
Because magma.
No.228801
>>221656
-working hard to drain the land and people of any wealth
-greedy soul-less people
-tries their hardest to jew every other race out of any money while simultaneously pissing them off.
-constantly on about "muh forefathers" or "muh mine" as reasons as to why they are so fucking great when confronted with the hard truth that every other race has gone leaps and bounds further and will continue to expand while the dwarves hide under dirt.
No.228811
>>228801
Elf-fag detected.
No.228839
>>228796
>Is it possible (and is there any point to try) to get more DFY than Dorf Fortress?
This guy knows what he's talking about