Hey there! I am a bit down in the dumps… so let's have a honest talk.
I am 24 years, 5 months and 8 days old… and my first coming out was on September 1st 2014.
At first my older brother, who is my only sibling, reacted shocked, but then calmed down. Unfortunately, this doesn't mean that he fully supports me; more on that later.
Then on January 7th this year, I came out to my mother. It was plain horror… I even had to move out of the house temporarily to live with two of my fellow university students, because of the psychological terror she inflicted on me.
When I returned home, it got even worse for some weeks, but I endured the torture. (Regardless, she still says stuff like "You will become a hideous woman.")
Now it is almost December and my dear mother still is not okay with my "decision" as she calls it, even thought I told her outright, that I tried to end my life 3 TIMES this year because of the sadness. On the other hand, I have the feeling that my two fellow university student friends who I mentioned earlier and who are currently in an internship, are just my friends out of pity and not because they really want to.
Sorry, but I don't have the finances to move out! :( I am working my ass of at my current job (which is well paid regardless), but I have to pay university fees and all that crap. It would be not enought to survive on my own, even considering renting something!
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Some general facts about me:
I am seeing a therapist since August this year, who specializes in psychosomatic/psychiatric therapy as well as in general psycho-therapy.
At first I got under pressure at home for seeing that therapist, but I have to do it in order to medicate PROPERLY.
But seeing a therapist alone is not enough: I have to do a one-year-long test, in which I wear women's clothes every day. That is such a bullshit law in my country…
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